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Dear Thelma...

Dear Thelma,

You see, I just turned 24 this January….. I am damn scared, although everyone (family and few friends) thinks I should not be. Wait for it, I’m scared because I think I might not find someone to build a life with. Now let me establish a background just so you all can help assess my predicament. I do not aim to sound vain at all; I am pretty, (no in-fact beautiful winning several beauty pageants all through high school and university, men see me and stare, trying all sorts to get acquainted with my MSc degree. Therein lies the problem I do not seem to be able to meet young guys interested in building a relationship, as all these men are mostly married or just basically looking for short term pleasure (I also do not dress in any provocative manner to warrant such attention). Thelma, I feel like this write up does not convey the way I’m feeling right now. Its just too much to convey in words, it also does not help that I live on the outskirts of Lagos and practically has a very low social life (mostly indoors during weekends; work Mon-Fri). This might qualify as a ramble but one of this days I might send you more details. I just need you to post this so I can get your opinion as well as that of TT readers.


  1. You are still young dear. Sometimes love finds us when we least expect. Just keeping. Doing your thing. One day you'll look back at your fears and laugh.

    How to make your own floral headband

    1. She's young? My mum gave birth to me at 23. I'm pretty sure 24 is closer to an adult than a teenager....

      Honestly what I think is, you are thinking about one thing but your mind is on something totally different... Your mind and your thoughts need to align to attract what you want and need. How to achieve that? Well search is waiting

    2. She is young ? At 24 my mum was already breastfeeding me. Lol

      If you want to attract the right person then stop thinking about married men who are attracted to you. Law of attraction; what you think in your mind is what you attract. Start thinking about the potential of dating a young man who is not married. Be more friendly with younger men. Stop making them think you are way older than 24. Be yourself. Be 24 and you would attract younger men

  2. Well, since you've got the looks and others all I'd say is love your life, enjoy it, play around it, work with it. While at it, make your job a priority also and create time for fun, go see movies at the cinemas (that's if there is one in your place of residence) hang out with friends at the beach, indulge in what you love doing best and bet love would come find you instead. Don't go searching for it, be relaxed and do take everyday with joy and contentment.

  3. Finding Love is a tricky thing. Some do all the necessary preparation, adhere to all guidelines yet love eludes them and vice versa - some are just plain fortunate.

    However a few tips that might help - put yourself out there, make friends (good ones and of the opposite sex), exploit your network with a good sense of discretion, engage in social activities (go to the cinema, malls, bars etc), honour invites especially non-professional invites, volunteer in social causes to increase your network etc. You would also have to make an effort to come out of your shell during weekends.

    Beauty isn't always the sole determining factor in getting into a relationship. Your character, temperament, attitude, friendliness, etc are also important factors. Also re-evaluate your standards or check-boxes, you can compromise on some trivial ones that might aid you in getting into a relationship. Don't wanna sound cliche - pray. For the moment, while making an effort to get into a relationship, give yourself to whatever you've got going for you - work and studies (you don't want to appear desperate).

    Also, it'd really help if you were coherent and better descriptive in your story (we can only give advice based on what we read)

    1. Chris this ur last paragraph sha... LOL

      But Poster, he has made good points. Look into them.
      & NO, 24 isn't too young to feel this way or crave an altar bound relationship, neither does it spell desperation.
      Just be Happy & I bet U, like a magnet, ur happy disposition will attract Him!

    2. Abi o...just set ur priorities straight and the right people/things will fall into place. Cheers

  4. You shouldn't bother yourself much on this except there is something else on your mind

  5. My dear you have a job and you leave your house Monday- Friday. You're more fortunate than most people out there. You can try being more active on social media. Thelma maybe you should also do a singles mingles like Stella does, so many single people on the blog. Poster if you're a Christian you can be more active in church, join a department so that u can make new friends.

  6. The search for prince charming. He will come don't stress it but please don't stay indoors always,hang out, go for shows and events,mingle with people, smile and be sociable. He will show up when/where you least expect.

  7. Options open, legs closed. Simple and short.

  8. sometimes love happens when you are not searching or thinking about it just keep being yourself and Mr Right will make it thru to you

  9. a singles mingles ...we the singles want to mingle...*shine teeth*


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