Skip to main content

Empty Prayers.






I tried my best to keep you here
But it's hard to hold a shadow
You said goodbye but I couldn't hear
Too busy praying for a miracle

And you left me on my knees
You just walked out the door
You didn't even have the decency to intervene while I was begging God for
You to love me

I prayed about us every night
Boy I know you had to hear me
You could've stopped me then and told the truth
But instead you pulled a pillow over your head

And you left me on my knees
You just walked out the door
You didn't even have the decency to intervene while I was begging God for
You to love me

You should've told me it was useless, that I was praying empty prayers
But you hopped in your car, pulled out your keys
While you were leaving, I was begging God for you to love me

And I know that He had something better to do
Than to sit and listen to a broken-hearted fool
Could've been saving the world from a tragedy, but instead He was listening
To me
I was asking, begging for a sign to bring comfort to this lonely heart of
Mine
But apparently you're not what I need
I guess you walking out was Him answering

You left me on my knees
You just walked out the door
You didn't even have the decency to intervene while I was begging God for
You to love me.

I tried my best to keep you here
But it's hard to hold a shadow


***
Empty Prayers by Mary J Blige mirrors my sentiments this morning. What kills me the most is the time I spent on my knees praying; for us to work, for God to bless you, for the works of your hands to bring great harvest, for you to love me, for a sign; that we were meant to be, even though you yourself showed me all the signs I needed to see. 

And just like Mary J said But apparently you're not what I need. I guess you walking out was God answering (me).

Still I cannot deny that it hurts, that I'm hurting, that Saturday was the exact opposite of how I'd imagined it to be, and all day long there was a lump in my throat just waiting to let loose the flood gates in my eyes. I refused to give in. 

Somehow though I've been strong. You didn't walk out, but every thing you did/do says you want out so I decided to take a hint and walk away gracefully. And for this I applaud myself, you stay lurking in dark corners, on the periphery of my life, not a part of it yet refusing to fully exit it. But I thank The Lord that with (my) age comes wisdom, grace and strength. The me of the past would have waited, surely if you're lurking it must be because you still want me but, but, but (and I'd make up a thousand reasons, all in my head). But the woman I've become, though still with a tender heart that loves and loves freely, now has a stronger mind, a discerning mind. 

So yes, it's hurts to the marrow, but somehow I still smile, and somehow, miraculously, happiness never departed from my heart. 

I tried my best to keep you here, But it's hard to hold a shadow...






Comments

  1. Hmmmm. Some honest words coming out there!

    ...So many fishes in the ocean.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are worth so much more, dear! You deserve the very best. e-hugs. This too shall pass.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Plenty hugs to you Thelma.
    I love that you are strong and can let go without drama even at this particular time.
    Yours shall come at God's appointed time and remember, what we want sometimes comes when we are not searching.
    All the best.

    -F

    ReplyDelete
  4. I can relate,really!
    Btw,I've been blood with this blog and it's so 17BC. Used to comment but it's so last 2yrs but I'm back. Oh yeah

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks guys. Welcome back Aramide, don't disappear on us again ok...

      Delete
  5. Hang in there Thelma, joy comes soonest. E-hugs barbie

    ReplyDelete
  6. God answered your prayers alright , it just wasn't the response you hoped for. It will get better, the heart will heal.

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So true miss pynk, it just wasn't the response Thelma expected. God loves you T and He wants only the best for you, wait on Him He never disappoints.

      Delete
  7. Everything you said T, was meant for me. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thelma, God surely hears when we pray 1 John 5: 14 says And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:
    Meditate on this verses.
    Psalm 27:14-Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.
    Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
    You will be fine dear and All will end in Praise.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Good riddance to bad rubbish..... Everything good will come... Sending hugs ur way xx

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hugs Tee..the answer to your prayers will definitely come
    Take heart

    ReplyDelete
  11. So sorry T, so so sorry. Love will find its way home to your heart.

    ReplyDelete
  12. So sorry T, so so sorry. Love will find its way home to your heart.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thelma darling,I love you from here*hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  14. Wow, this really touches the heart! Thelma dear, I've been there! But trust me, Every. Single. Time I prayed for a relationship to work and it didn't, I've come back later to thank God for not answering that prayer! I found out something about that person that made me realize God was saving me from serious wahala.
    One of my exes that I wanted to die over ended up being arrested a few years later for driving while intoxicated and giving alcohol/ drugs to a minor! Another one never finished school and is still trying to get his life together after over a decade!
    That line in the song about him walking out being God's answer is so true!
    Girl, trust me, you will thank God for this one day!

    ReplyDelete
  15. so youre back to being single now? boohoo. hang in.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww.. u're such a sad and bitter person. I feel sorry for you. You have to make fun of others' sad or depressing situations to feel better? Just remember that Jesus loves you, okay?

      Delete
    2. You do not strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. You can gloat over Thelma's situation but believe me it really won't give you a true sense of happiness. Sympathy isn't so alien to the human personality.

      Delete
  16. It is not right, it should go. Cheer up. J

    ReplyDelete
  17. You deserve the best and not what seems like the best. God knows the thought He has for you. So be thankful T. The best is on its way...

    ReplyDelete
  18. Yes. It doesn't feel.right? You don't feel.right? It should go.
    Sorry Thelma.
    You'll be found by the man who'll love you and who you'll love back and be happy.

    Don't bother your head.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Yes. It doesn't feel.right? You don't feel.right? It should go.
    Sorry Thelma.
    You'll be found by the man who'll love you and who you'll love back and be happy.

    Don't bother your head.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Dear Tee, He's coming, I know he is and when he shows up, you'll realise that this time this period is the training time, he's readying and preparing you so don't be discouraged.

    It is well with you.

    ReplyDelete
  21. So sorry T.

    I pray God really answers your innate prayers in a way that would make your heart leap and also give you closure to this anti-climax scenario.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Keep your head up. Your joy will become full soonest.

    This post mirrors me. Hmmmm.... all will be well.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Keep your head up. Your joy will become full soonest.

    This post mirrors me. Hmmmm.... all will be well.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Things will get better jareyy..keep being strong

    ReplyDelete
  25. Wow... i'm just reading this o. It is well Thelma! And Amen to all the prayers that have been said. You'll be fine. **hugs**

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

***
This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
My…

...

Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…

Shhhhhhh....

I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

One More Post...

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 


Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.


Uyi & Tiwa

Giveaway Finale!

Happy Sunday y'all. 
This is the conclusive part of #WCG. 
All the N25,000 recipients have received their cash.
All the students have also received their N10,000. 
Once again guys please comment under any of the posts, or this one that you've received your money. Thanks. 

So moving forward, this final giveaway contains 
1. N10,000 for 5 people. 

2. 3 kimonos from Julian's dressmakers. 
3. 3 pairs of Palm slippers from WaleOnibata. (Gents) 
4. 2 pairs of shoes from Courtney's Closet. (Ladies. Size 9 and Size 11). 

5. 1 human hair wig from Gabby's Wigs'n'Weaves. You pick from one of the wigs below. 
6. 3 cakes from CakesandCream 

7. A getaway at CitiHeight Hotel Ikeja for 3 people. (Who can each bring one person along).  


As I said earlier, Kon has already won a stay at CitiHeight and Clare, a kimono. So those gifts are now available for 2 people each. 
There is no competition. We are only going to play a game. 
I have each gift item listed out in numbers. Number 1 to 100. …