Bisodun sat in Rolake's lavish living room, a uniformed steward had just placed a platter of exotic nuts and a bottle of Chianti, Rolake's preferred red wine, before them. The AC blew on full blast, a reprieve from the scorching Lagos heat. Bisodun wished she could stay there forever.
"Hmmmm. Wonders shall never end!" Rolake said, a look of wondrous amazement on her face
"My sister!" Bisodun echoed.
"Wait, so her husband was flirting with that little girl?" Rolake asked
"Shamelessly o! Everybody even noticed it." Bisodun jammed her palms together animatedly.
"Well, I can't say I'm surprised. I mean, when you let yourself go like that, allow the weight to pile on, neglect your body, your skin, your hair, dress like a old maiden..." Rolake said, shaking her dainty head dramatically.
"Of course I'm right! When you walk into the room and your husband has to squint to figure out if it's his mother that just walked in, what do you expect?" An overly dramatic Rolake spat.
"Haha! Rolake you're killing me this afternoon" Bisodun cackled.
"But am I lying? Look at Margaret, she looks older than her age mates. Is marriage a license for nonsense? Is it a free pass to let yourself go or what?"
"My dear, it isn't o! Its the exact opposite, marriage should make you sit up, keep that ass tight and that vagina tighter! Too many hungry single girls out here these days. Err, that brings me to why I..."
"Yes o! Those thirsty girls looking for rich married men to devour" Rolake cut in. "That's why I make sure I'm always on point. My abs are harder than a gymnasts and I'm doing kegels every minute of the day to keep that p*ssy tight. I make sure I get a mani-pedi every week and my diet is strictly fruits and veges..."
Bisodun cleared her throat. "That's really nice. Rolake I ..."
"My Temidayo never strays from home, which single girl can compare to me? My hubster comes home every night panting, hungry for me, and I give it to him good and hard!" Rolake squealed in unabashed excitement. "Weekends, he can't wait to show me off to his friends and colleagues at the country club. His eyes are always on me, just how it's supposed to be. Girl, I don't play!".
"That's admirable, you look really good for someone your age, and after two kids, Wow! But..." Bisodun was saying, but once again Rolake cut in.
"Yes o! My dear; Yoga, Pilates, spin classes, Zumba, swimming, weekly visits to the spa, weekly detox... My body has no choice but to be in shape. And then hundred squats everyday? My ass on fleek mehhn! This body of mine is the temple of gold where Temidayo worships. I can't have my man looking elsewhere o! Bisodun when you get married make sure you don't let yourself go. It's the greatest mistake most married women make"
"I won't, I promise." Bisodun vowed, solemnly.
"Good! So you wanted to say something?" Rolake relaxed into the plush leather sofa, her face was a picture of peace and contentment.
"Oh yes, that..." Bisodun began to speak but then she hesitated.
"That what? Talk to me, my fitness instructor would be here any minute".
"Ok, Rolly. I need your advice. How do you tell your friend that her husband is sleeping with her maid?" Bisodun asked, worry and concern creasing her forehead.
"Oh Wow! That's horrid. Some men are dogs, filthy dogs! But wait, how do you know your friend's husband is sleeping with the maid?"
"Well the maid came to our lab to get tested and when the test came out positive she started crying that she will kill herself, because her madam will kill her anyway, because her madam's husband disvirgined her months ago and has slept with her almost every night since then... The issue is, I happen to know her madam" Bisodun said, her voice a bare whisper.
"Aha! Men are dogs, hopeless dogs. But Bisodun I'm sure your friend isn't doing something right, or else why would a man descend so low to sleeping with the maid?"
"I know, right? But now I have a dilemma on my hands. How do I tell my friend that her husband has gotten her maid pregnant?"
"Hmmm. That's a tough one... You should start by saying 'my darling friend, I have bad news...'" Rolake said, taking a generous sip from her glass of Chianti.
Bisodun looked into the distance, her eyes dark and pensive. Then she moved closer to Rolake and took her hands in hers, looking into her eyes she said;
"My darling friend, I have bad news..."
Rolake suddenly began to choke on the red wine.