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The Mothers-in-law and The Boundaries They Don't See.




Good morning guys! I look forward to reading @conniegirlswag chitchat. I hear people used wet nurses in the old days when the mothers either weren't healthy enough to breastfeed or just didn't want the breasts to lose it's youthfulness and bounce. But... The thought of someone else suckling my child makes me really squirmish. 

But besides this, let's talk about mothers-in-law who don't understand or respect boundaries. During the weekend my friend's mother-in-law visited and the woman walked into their room late at night and just wouldn't leave. When she was all talked out she laid on their bed and slept off. My friend was appalled! Her hubby had to go sleep on the sofa and my friend shared the bed with her mother in law. This isn't the first time the woman would do something like this. She has simply refused to respect or acknowledge any form of boundary. 

What would you do if you walked in on your 73 year old mother in law breastfeeding your 3 month old baby?

But wait, are her mammary glands still producing any milk? Just what exactly was that woman doing? Oh dear...

How do you cope with mothers in law that take the piss?

Comments

  1. Conniegirl should tell us how she feels years to come, when her son distances himself from her because his wife wasn't comfortable with something she did.
    It's okay to be angry she breastfed your baby but to distance yourselves from her for two years and not wanting her around even when her son wants her back? As punishment? That's mean. She probably did that with good intentions, where were you when your baby was crying?

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    Replies
    1. Just to point out that Connie Girl's posts are like Dear Thelma posts; they're not her stories.

      Delete
  2. I'd be mad! But then again it depends on the motive. She may just have been trying to pacify the baby. As for the bedsharing mother in law I'd wake her up as soon as she lies down and kindly lead her to her bedroom. What's up with that?

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  3. Its the man' s job to tell his mum what line not to cross,that bedsharing mother in law is not serious o,I will just leave the room for her ..that's rubbish

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hahahaha! Just had a chat with my married friend a few days ago who experienced this. They flew her mother-in-law in from Nigeria to nurse their new baby boy. During a chat, the MIL mentioned breastfeeding the baby but the mother of the boy said that's archaic and she shouldn't do it. Few days later na, she was sleeping and as if something prompted her to wake up, she walked into the children's room and saw her MIL breastfeeding the baby even after she had told her not to. She was furious. She refused to give the baby to her mother in law again for the remaining 5 months she was there. Her husband didn't even put his mouth in the matter cos the wife warned his mother before hand . He told his wife to do as she pleases and that was how it was till his mum went back to Nigeria. I couldn't even believe it.

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  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  6. I wouldn't accept my mother-in-law 'wet-nursing' my baby. No way! Neither would I allow her sleep in a bedroom I share with my husband. Same applies to my own mother; I would be ashamed if my brother's wife experiences such in the hands of my mother.

    Thank God I have a mother and mother-in-law who do not over step boundaries.

    -F

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    Replies
    1. Thank God really for mothers and mothers in law who do not overstep boundaries.
      Even though I learnt I was wet nursed by my grandmother, I don't think such benevolence for my baby would be condoned. JD

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  7. Mothers in-law and drama. I have warned my mum not to opppress my brothers wife in anyway, cos we won't support her. So far they have been doing well.

    Mothers always have the need to wanna poke-nose in the lives of their children, but the men should set the boundaries and save their wives from wahala.

    As for my mother in-law sleeping on the bed I share with hubby, it won't happen o, unless I allow it, I think it is wrong in every ramification. Some inlaws can't tempt one sha.

    The wet nursing thing used to work in the past, but alienating mother inlaw for 2 years isn't a good thing. Haba. Wifey, would you do same to your mother.

    Fact is that karma is a biatch!!!

    I certainly won't like the sight of MIL doing the whole breasty-thing. And I'd sure. React badly to

    Marriage and it's many complications.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Mothers in-law and drama. I have warned my mum not to opppress my brothers wife in anyway, cos we won't support her. So far they have been doing well.

    Mothers always have the need to wanna poke-nose in the lives of their children, but the men should set the boundaries and save their wives from wahala.

    As for my mother in-law sleeping on the bed I share with hubby, it won't happen o, unless I allow it, I think it is wrong in every ramification. Some inlaws can't tempt one sha.

    The wet nursing thing used to work in the past, but alienating mother inlaw for 2 years isn't a good thing. Haba. Wifey, would you do same to your mother.

    Fact is that karma is a biatch!!!

    I certainly won't like the sight of MIL doing the whole breasty-thing. And I'd sure. React badly to

    Marriage and it's many complications.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Mothers-in-law are diff shades n categories. My grandmother did wet nursing for me but then, I was abt 3yrs. Each time my mum is breastfeeding my Jnr bro, I ask grandma to do same for me. Lol

    That aside, men need to set boundaries for their mum's, n wives too need to set boundaries for their mums

    Some mothers can be over-bearing.

    All my years of having children - abt 20yrs now, my MIL has not been with me for up to 30days put together. That does not mean we don't see her.

    Women shd learn to nurse their babies, get matured nannies or leave close to their mum's to avoid unnecessary hassle with MIL.

    This is how some create problems into their marriages.

    No big deal in nursing ur baby o. Ladies wake up n be ready to do things for urself. Start learning now b4 u get there.

    God bless u

    Mama 'D'

    ReplyDelete

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