I've been taken to some churches, those ones that leave you with a feeling of despair, misfortune, sorrow and imminent doom. You know, those types where there's a heavy cloak of poverty hovering above everyone's head, a thick fog you can slice with a knife. I always feel a crushing need to head for the door and run away, I don't want to be infected with these people's doom, gloom, misery and poverty, I already have enough issues to deal with. You watch them pray and cast into abyss of fire, enemies both real and imagined, physical and spiritual, seen and unseen, and the greatest enemy they fight against is poverty.
Outside the door you see one or two luxury cars incongruously parked. Luxury, not nice or flashy, luxury, suggesting that the owner is swimming in wealth. Pray tell what kind of stubborn problem could have driven someone to drive from their lap of luxury to this dungeoun of doom? What problems does someone this rich have, the 'little' part of me asks.
The rich also cry, as the 90s Telenovela informed us but sometimes it's hard for the mind of the less-than to imagine. Quite frankly this post has nothing to do with the rich crying. It's merely how I felt when I spoke to my friend at 1am this morning.
There's no need to go into detail about my friend's family wealth, about the abundance she lives in and the fact that at age 29 she lives in her own five bedroom 'country-home' duplex bought for her in her own name, filled with the most expensive possessions one person could own. I'd never imagined *Ify's life was perfect, but it was close, or so I thought.
As we spoke last night I had no idea when I started crying. I thought I had issues but damn, I heard things. It's not my story to tell so I cannot tell it, but when I knew shit was real was when she said to me "Ore, you know I never believed in all this spiritual shigidi. When I heard people say stuff about spirit this and that I'll just laugh at them like fools. But now, I think maybe those things are real, all these things happening to me cannot be normal". My heart broke, Ify really is one of those people that does/did not believe that anything had any connection to any spirit thingy.
My friend is at a point where her life seems to have crumbled like a stacked pack of cards flicked at the bottom, and it seems everything just keeps going awry. As she spoke I heard the pain, desolation, exhaustion and frustration in her voice. I heard her try to admit the parts she might have played in her demise and then make sense of all the others that one can't just quite make any sense of. She ended by saying "Ore I'm not happy at all, I'm just not happy" and I listened in silence as I had nothing to say. Yes, it's one of those moments where words fail you because no words could quite cut it.
I'm certain, just as Ify is that these problems she's facing are only temporary and in a month or two she would look back and maybe even laugh about things. Yeah, we've all been (most of us) at that point in our lives where everything seemed to be collapsing all around us and we began to wonder is there's any point in our existence.
Have you ever been at that point in life where (it seemed) everything just came crashing down? Please tell us about it, but more importantly please tell us how you pulled though. Did it just blow over or were there things that you did to get yourself out of the situation?
Or are you presently feeling this way? Please share, I would really love to hear your story.
Photo source- www.becuo.com