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When It All Comes Crashing Down All Around You.

I've been taken to some churches, those ones that leave you with a feeling of despair, misfortune, sorrow and imminent doom. You know, those types where there's a heavy cloak of poverty hovering above everyone's head, a thick fog you can slice with a knife. I always feel a crushing need to head for the door and run away, I don't want to be infected with these people's doom, gloom, misery and poverty, I already have enough issues to deal with. You watch them pray and cast into abyss of fire, enemies both real and imagined, physical and spiritual, seen and unseen, and the greatest enemy they fight against is poverty. 

Outside the door you see one or two luxury cars incongruously parked. Luxury, not nice or flashy, luxury, suggesting that the owner is swimming in wealth. Pray tell what kind of stubborn problem could have driven someone to drive from their lap of luxury to this dungeoun of doom? What problems does someone this rich have, the 'little' part of me asks. 

The rich also cry, as the 90s Telenovela informed us but sometimes it's hard for the mind of the less-than to imagine. Quite frankly this post has nothing to do with the rich crying. It's merely how I felt when I spoke to my friend at 1am this morning. 

There's no need to go into detail about my friend's family wealth, about the abundance she lives in and the fact that at age 29 she lives in her own five bedroom 'country-home' duplex bought for her in her own name, filled with the most expensive possessions one person could own. I'd never imagined *Ify's life was perfect, but it was close, or so I thought. 

As we spoke last night I had no idea when I started crying. I thought I had issues but damn, I heard things. It's not my story to tell so I cannot tell it, but when I knew shit was real was when she said to me "Ore, you know I never believed in all this spiritual shigidi. When I heard people say stuff about spirit this and that I'll just laugh at them like fools. But now, I think maybe those things are real, all these things happening to me cannot be normal". My heart broke, Ify really is one of those people that does/did not believe that anything had any connection to any spirit thingy.

My friend is at a point where her life seems to have crumbled like a stacked pack of cards flicked at the bottom, and it seems everything just keeps going awry. As she spoke I heard the pain, desolation, exhaustion and frustration in her voice. I heard her try to admit the parts she might have played in her demise and then make sense of all the others that one can't just quite make any sense of. She ended by saying "Ore I'm not happy at all, I'm just not happy" and I listened in silence as I had nothing to say. Yes, it's one of those moments where words fail you because no words could quite cut it. 

I'm certain, just as Ify is that these problems she's facing are only temporary and in a month or two she would look back and maybe even laugh about things. Yeah, we've all been (most of us) at that point in our lives where everything seemed to be collapsing all around us and we began to wonder is there's any point in our existence. 

Have you ever been at that point in life where (it seemed) everything just came crashing down? Please tell us about it, but more importantly please tell us how you pulled though. Did it just blow over or were there things that you did to get yourself out of the situation? 
     Or are you presently feeling this way? Please share, I would really love to hear your story. 

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  1. Thelma rich people sometime have problems greater than poverty. Some of them will even trade all the money in the world for their problems to go away. I am talking from experience, life can be full of woes.

  2. I believe when you get to that point where nothing seems to be working, the only direction to go is upwards. One had to be strong at times like this, positive confessions helped, instead of taking about my problems I talk to my problems. Life and death are in the power of the tongue.

  3. I think in one way or the other we have been in situations whereby we felt our world just ended but when we look back now we laugh and wonder why we were so dramatic and exaggerated them. Situation like this comes and goes,some mighty and others not so but your best bet during this trying time(s) is to read and meditate on the word. Let it be a part of you and live through you. Draw closer to HIM and begin to see things real clear and begin to work themselves out.

    Am not too comfortable with this type of churches you just describe because most times their teachings and interpretations are based on their view of life which in most cases are myopic. And those who end up there due to one problem or the other are either brainwashed or are used as a personal ATM machine.

    I pray whatever situation she is in,solution comes and the good Lord sees her through. She will look back and laugh,wondering why she was in such a panic.

  4. When down times happen, remember God is all powerful and gracious, and He doesn't know how to fail.
    It's really not even easy to remember prayers, faith;trust, positive thoughts, words and deeds, when down times happen, yet that's the only way to go- the God way. Great results over time.

    1. Your friend needs all the support you can give, please try to offer your support, advice and prayer.

  5. Yes 2011/2012, what happened wasn't earth shattering or anything but at that point in my life, nothing was going right. All my mates had gone ahead of me and were doing well and the one guy i loved more than myself ended our "situationship" around the same time. I honestly thought i would die. I lost weight, then gained weight, was depressed for a loooong time. At some point I contemplated suicide, It was just for one minute but it was enough to jarr me.

    I honestly don't know how i pulled through but i did. I became happier, learned to trust in God's plan for me and learned to love and appreciate myself fiercely.

    Today I'm in a better place. Usually, when I get to one of those dangerous curves life throws in my way, i cling to God tighter, I read the book of Romans over and over and i pray & beseech God more earnestly.

    1. Suicide ke?! *bbmsurprisedsmiley*
      Wow... I didn't know that.

    2. one usually ever knows, not even family members, because no one usually truly understands the pain of a suicidal person (or so it seems). Thank GOD for you Sunshine. I was there once.

    3. Thanks Memphis and thank God for you too.

      My dear sister,that period was one of the toughest periods of my life. Thank God its all behind me now.

  6. @cccc your first sentence says it all. Yes its easier said than done but an unshakeable faith is what you need to pull through.
    May God help us all.

  7. Thelma Thelma....we've all passed through torrid times that we r even scared to talk abt ourselves. But looking forward always brings you light. That's all.

    I believe in God and them spiritualities n powers all exist. But you gotta place your priorities right. Always Believe in the Almighty God and every other thing is yours ... You cant Go to the market to buy faith, its yours already. Use it

    1. "You cant go to the market to buy faith, its yours already.."

  8. Few years ago I was at that point too. I attempted suicide but it didn't work. I was taken to a "church" by a friend but the minute I stepped out I told God to forgive me and promised not to go back there if only he will answer my prayers and make me happy again.
    I started on a weekly fast n prayed my way through the hard times.

  9. 2008/2009 were horrid periods in my life. I became friendless and grew bitter towards family, even my own siblings that I loved the most. Never mind that whatever misery I was experiencing were a result of my own stubbornness and foolishness. Can't count how many times I cried myself empty and still couldn't see the end of that dark hollow in me. Guilt and helplessness became familiar, but I pulled through and am in a better place now.
    Twice this year I've been disappointed. On one of those occasions, my faith had been stronger than at any other time I can recall in my life. I had peace that God had settled the matter, so imagine my bewilderment when my hope was dashed. This time I wondered what exactly God wanted again from me and why He just couldn't have done me this little favour.
    Thankfully, I've come to the place of submitting my will under His. I now know it's possible to thank and praise God by force. To worship Him sincerely, when it's the very last thing I want to do, believing against all odds that the disappointments and setbacks notwithstanding, His plans are eternally of good for my sake. I'm not ruling out the occurrences of the low moments from time to time. I just believe it's a test of my character and will only make for a better stronger me. So I'll enjoy the many blessings I never remember during those moments.
    I've done some pretty stupid things in anger and despair. I've gone and stayed away from home for a week at age 15. Hung out with people I had no business being with. Tinted my hair a shocking purple and gone about with a *fcuk you* attitude among others. But never have I thought of suicide as a way out. Asides from its very act being a blasphemy against God, for what greater offense can I commit than to acknowledge that any situation is beyond Him? It's also the ultimate defeat for me. And knowing how I hate a loss of any kind, I won't consider conceding this war to the enemy. Once saw a movie "the Austen place", and a lady had this to say. " Think about all d people that hang themselves, and then the next day they feel different about it but there's nothing that can b done about it". And I thought to myself, that there was nothing to be done about it, because they'd taken out the option of the next day which was a determining factor to a turnaround. I chose the next day, I chose the choice of doing something about my situation. I chose to live through and do my best to dance in the storm, for tomorrow perhaps, I may see the rainbow and feel the sun shine down on me

    1. **bear hugs Buby** God bless you!

    2. I'm amazed and encourged by your strength and courage. I pray God puts that smile you so desire soonest.

    3. E-hugs dear Buby. You're such a strong woman and you will continue to pull thru in Jesus name and that sun is surely going to shine down on you. Don't get weary in well doing for in due season you shall reap if you faint not.

    4. @ kabuoy and Sunshine, hugging you both right back.
      @ Chris, Amen! I do get to smile beautifully from time to time.
      Thanks dearies.

  10. 1 Corinthians 10:13:
    'No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. GOD IS FAITHFUL, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ABILITY, but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. (English Standard Version).

    He doesn't promise that life would always be rosy for His own, He only promises that He'd always be there. It would be naïve to believe that spiritual forces, demons and principalities do not exist. They do and are always ready and prepared to wreak havoc to the seemingly righteous, good and even bad people. We only have the assurance that God is a higher power (Philippians 2:10), thus wouldn't it be a far better bargain to side with who is more powerful than he who isn't. Being even the most powerful, He doesn't lord it over us but loves us. So don't worry about the existence of those meagre powers, you have a stronger one on your side. Be focused on Him and let Him fight your battle.

    The truth with some awry happenings that occur in our lives is that we might never know why they do and most often we won't. The Bible admonishes us not to lose faith but remain trusting in God. You might want to ask if God truly loves you and the world, why does He allow pain, suffering, loss, despair happen to the good ones and His children? A better question to ask is why doesn't pain, suffering, loss, despair reign utterly in the world?

    Its a difficult situation for you, yes I know and truth is that the best of words from me wouldn't do much to relieve you of your pain so I'd trust God in his supernatural wisdom to see you through this trying period of yours. Meanwhile, I feel we can learn a bit when unfavorable circumstances come our way.

    One, we have the opportunity to re-evaluate our lives and the things that mean the most to us. We often get clouded with the vanity and luxuries life provides us as to what is the essence of one's life. For you, it might be friends, family, parents, career, charity work, God etc. Take this time out and find that special thing that holds your heart. Give value to this and you'd have a life well lived

    Next, take an introspective and retrospective look at your life. You want to find the 'improper' things that take up your time, money and resources. Let go of these things and if you find it difficult to let go, do it gradually. A man or woman who is down fears no fall. There isn't anyway but up from here. You should make your going up filled with the right ingredients and tool of good living.

    Make plans, strategize and outline what you want your next few days, months and years of life to be. Make sure these plans are realizable and practicable. Drown yourself in value giving or value adding activities. Engage in charity work; learn from your peers, subordinates, bosses; engage in leisure, refreshing and revitalizing activities. Don't allow worry take root in your life, say re-assuring words to yourself.

    Most importantly, find God. Find a Bible-believing church and get commited. Take up service roles in the church and don't compromise on your walk with God.

    I hope I take my advice also because I surely need it.

  11. With a smile all problems are solved because I know that life is not serious, life just a game..we are not of this world, my father will always say we are sojourner we just catch our breath on planet earth then continue our journey

  12. Hiring services have made it easy for people to enjoy the comfort of oldsmobile models cars. Limo is one of the very popular hired car these days. People hire luxury cars for wedding, graduation party, to pick up guest from the airport etc.


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