Dear Dr. Azolibe,
It has come to my notice that every day you send me mails on how to “Increase my penis size”. There were more vendors of this trade before like Dr Kenneth, Dr Gray etc. but it seems you have managed to kick them all out of business. I must say your business must be striving if not I don’t see how you can manage to send me up to 3 emails every day. I know your alias is Dr KenAzoh,… continue o, I have a few observations for your kind consumption:
1.I dont like the way you address me as “Sir”, how do you know am a Sir? Can’t I be a Miss or Mrs or a transvestite sef and there is no abbreviation for us yet. Is it only males that have yahoo accounts? That is gender inequality.
2.If I had penile malfunction, your daily mails would have made me to commit suicide by now; always going on about how 96% of women are dissatisfied in bed and making me wonder if mine is one of them.
3. How do you always manage to get into my inbox and escape the spam box no matter how many times I put you there, you must know someone high up in yahoo.
4. Nobody trusts anything that comes into their mail box with account numbers for payment especially Nigerians, I will advise you try advertising your products on blogs like LindaIkeji, Bella Naija, Nairaland, Thelma thinks etc., because you certainly seem to have the funds.
5. But come oh, is what you’re saying really true? Yes I glanced at that part of themail…lool. In just 3 weeks the size can increase, you’re doing a great job then *side wink*.
Thank you for taking the time to read my rant/letter and am sure my thoughts align with that of many other Nigerians/yahoo mail users. I am tired of expecting important mails then getting a notification and it will be you, please desist from this act, because for the record I have no subscription with you, if anyone has such penile issues GOOGLE is their friend. I am saying this from a place of love.
A faithful yahoo mail user
Aaaarghhhh Chioma I'm getting you, these spam mails are the most infuriating. Bet then again it's almost mildly amusing; do they really expect people to fall for this? Do people really fall for this? Oh wow!
And speaking of rants, I don't know if it's the turning thirty ish or something else but suddenly my body is all tingly and I could be washing plates but next thing I know; copulation on my mind. Honestly I simply cannot deal with this, like I've got bigger issues right now and this cannot be one of them.
Rant no. 2, this should have been no. 1; employers that treat employees like crap. Fine, that's really messed up, but what's even more messed up is employers that pay employees crap, and treat them like crap. Now, that's just terribly crappy and this is story for another day, a post all it's own.