*in Jay-z's voice*.
Hey guys! What's popping? I decided to pop in and say hey, because it's kind of rude to just disappear without an explanation, especially as I often give one before I go MIA, as someone pointed out. Can I just say thanks to those who mail/call/text when you don't see me for 24 hours. You guys really warm my heart. At first I was like ahn ahn can't someone just disappear in peace again? And then I was like Wow, I'm blessed and I'm grateful, but then I continued to put up my invisibility cloak, determined to make a disappearance. Only for some friend to send me a message this morning and say if you stop blogging I will stop talking to you. Lol, it's really not that serious bae.
So yes, back to my explanation. It's not that I planned to stop just like that, it's just that I had to do some evaluation and ask myself some hard questions. Feel free to call me self-righteous if you want but the truth is that I stopped blogging for myself a long time ago. Instead I started doing posts just to satiate the thirst of anyone who stops by to quench theirs here, and in doing this I stopped taking care of myself, watering my own mind and I in turn became dehydrated. So for a while I've been doing this without feeling any sense of joy or fulfillment, posting random thoughtless stuff in order to reach my admittedly self-assigned quota for the day, putting up things that made even me cringe and not getting any satisfaction whatsoever. It began to feel like a joyless thankless odious chore and I began to feel like I was drowning.
Work started and that took some of my time and I had an excuse to distance myself a little from the blog, but at some point I just couldn't keep up appearances anymore.
Like I said, I stopped feeding my mind and my spirit and my mind began to feel like milk that had curdled, everything it emitted produced a foul stench to my nostrils. I began to feel very incomplete. I've done the certification exams and am a member of the professional bodies I want to belong to in Nigeria (for now) so I couldn't think of just what else I could do. Then one of my first blog readers, also the first blog reader I ever met with, mentioned online courses to me and I looked into it, this has been my salvation and has given me a renewed sense of purpose!
I signed up for some courses and in my free time now I study, do my course work and assignments and like a withering flower just watered and fed, I can feel myself and my mind coming back to life. It's an incredible feeling, orgasmic even.
Yet, that's not all I've been doing. Taking time off blogging and spending hours looking for stuff to post, has also given me time to read other blogs. Among these is SDK's blog which I stopped reading a long time ago, only to peruse her blog topics once every few days and walk away. I actually stopped reading Stella's blog for some personal reasons; those pathetic stories were influencing my views on life and marriage and began to give me very pessimistic views on things. Even though I wasn't even in a relationship, I began to feel like once I get married my marriage is doomed! And besides that the woman sometimes rubs me the wrong way. So, I stopped reading her blog.
BUT recently, in my spare time I now visit and it's quite different, her posts are the most interesting thing ever and she has the most entertaining readers/commenters. Plus, there's almost always something to learn. Besides that, the show of love, the generous giveaways, the way strangers help strangers on her blog is so heart warming, I'm beginning to love her again.
Anyhoo... That's what I've been up to. No, I am not disappearing, maybe, like I already said, the posts will be less and that's because I'm more preoccupied with myself and my own pursuits, but I won't disappear because I know that just with the right balance, this blog will once again reignite the fire within me. This, coupled with the fact that some of you are so freaking amazing, it will be completely ungrateful of me (to you and to God) and disrespectful to just leave.
Thank you so very much.
So, there's nothing to reintroduce, I just really felt like saying that!
*I'm thinking of changing the name of the blog. For now, what keeps coming up is The Thought Collection (probably because I used to love Thought Catalogue) but mainly because I no longer want to share my thoughts and experiences alone. I want a platform where anyone at can send in submissions and we can all enjoy them. These submissions can be opinion pieces, they can be stories, they can be gossip pieces, they can be political, they can be think pieces, they could be accounts of real life experiences, they could be journals. That said, their posting will be subject to my approval.
At the end of every month one of the Posters gets 10,000 naira, the poster who's submission we loved the most. We will all decide who this poster will be. Please don't restrict your writing to love and relationships, I'm sure you have other interests.
*PS I know some of us don't need the money. If you send a submission and the prize is yours you can always do a giveaway of your own*.
Anonymous Rider, you won the Valentine giveaway. The pair of shoes and the 5k airtime are with me. I've mailed you but I'm yet to receive a response. Please get in touch with me.