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Dear Single Ladies...


We seem to have an insatiable appetite for this back and forth exchange from wives to single ladies and vice versa. So, enjoy.


Dear Single Ladies, 

Na wa. Yes, na wa. Not because I am ignorant of appropriate ways to begin a letter but because no other beginning could be more expressively appropriate for you. "Na wa"  because it is a common expression of bewilderment like when we hear Sister Lucy is called Candy outside church. "Na wa" because it is fitting for disgust like when we see Sisi Kemi is becoming a grandmother - scratch that, mother - as she is pregnant for Baba Ade. "Na wa" because we are fatigued by speechlessness seeing that when we say the Lord's prayer for our husbands, we should replace "temptations" with "evil single ladies". Hence, on these counts and more, I greet you "na wa". 
I have tried to make sense of your thing with our husbands. Though it is common knowledge that people cheat (it obviously transcends gender), you don't find it easily accepted. Permit the truism that people won't cheat if they've got no one to cheat with. Indeed, it is an issue we have to settle with our husbands. Yet, I dare to play the woman-to-woman card and clear this repugnant air with you.  Trying to see things through your eyes, I wonder: what makes you accept married men as lovers?  

Money? How much exactly? How much can a man possibly offer you that you can't challenge yourself to make by yourself? That you are single means you are young, free and vibrant. So why not make that work positively profitably for you? I mean, except you are a daft, lazy, gold-digging leech (which I want to believe you are not), then you can be independent.

I have seen some of you sincerely swear that no single man can say he pays your bills. This is true because first they are not single and second because they are mostly "various" men. But I certainly don't mean independent like that.

You like older men? I can't judge you for that penchant. I really understand. Especially since many young men are still stuck on Jay Z's "Young Forever" and are this close to leaving puberty in their 30's. Since your turn-on is understandably maturity, I insistently scream, "By all means". However, I have a simple request: leave the married men alone. There are widowers who would love their second wives deeply and elderly men who for some reason never got married. These are a perfect class of options for you to frolic with or build that better-than-Telemundo love story. But please, leave the married men alone.

We are messed up married women? Our husbands tell you we suck in bed, nag their hormones dead and still smell of maggi no matter how we bathe? So, you become their aspirin for we headache-wives. Very kind you. But the beatitude on peacemaker doesn't in anyway mean this neither are Nobel for Peace so won. Really want to help? Leave matter for "Matayas".

Further thought on other reasons have yielded nothing. Don't join a man in defying his vows. If you have no regard for God who warns that none should put asunder (I'm astounded that you don't see a retribution there), then fear the Devil. Wives are getting vicious. Ezinwa died stuck in intercourse with Papa Emeka. Onome has gone mad. Sarah has razor cuts on her face. Our husbands can't be excited by dead girls so how do you miss these vile stories?

Another emphatic plea: leave married men alone. Person wey talk say our water no go boil, dem no go sell matches for hin village o. 
For Slighted Wives, 
A Concerned Wife.


***
By Joy Oforka. 

Comments

  1. The problem with this generation is just pure selfishness and westernization, in d olden days, men marry as much as 5 wives and it was accepted, now the westerners ve imposed one man, one wife on us, yet they divorce when they are tired and start a fresh one man, one wife. Down here, divorce is a taboo and polygamy has also become a taboo. While some people are monogamous, others are polygamous, if unfortunately ur hubby is polygamous and u can't deal, please divorce him or deal with it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ouch...#RealTalk.
      Like I say,there wld always be women who are ok being the 2nd or more wife and as anon said,u can either move on from the marriage or be willing to share him.
      Yh,it hurts and sucks but this "memo" to single (and some married) ladies wldnt change anything anytime soon...

      Delete
  2. The problem with this generation is just pure selfishness and westernization, in d olden days, men marry as much as 5 wives and it was accepted, now the westerners ve imposed one man, one wife on us, yet they divorce when they are tired and start a fresh one man, one wife. Down here, divorce is a taboo and polygamy has also become a taboo. While some people are monogamous, others are polygamous, if unfortunately ur hubby is polygamous and u can't deal, please divorce him or deal with it!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I dnt see the need for all these write-ups thou

    ReplyDelete
  4. As in, no single need at all!
    Abeg y'all should just park well well and build the foundation of ur homes in God, His words and His values.
    The movie "The other woman" is highly recommended!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, that movie is soo hilarious! Never tired of watching it..lol
      we r tired of these write-ups..more like flogging a dead horse. A solid home built on God's words is what's needed.

      Delete
  5. All Na wash biko,it wudnt stop happening so no need for the article.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Memo To Troubled House Wives with either Virtual or Real Other women in their Marriages!!!

    Na wa oh! STOP using my MB for rubbish letters! No be ur husband buy am for me! Get a Brain & Dick padlock. That's the only way u'll win this.

    Long Hisssssssssssss...

    ReplyDelete
  7. None of my business. But it seems you guys are guilt tripping by the way you all respond to the article.

    Like I said! I'm not on any side neither is it my business.

    But if what the post is talking about is 'law of nature'. Then Law of nature goes around and comes around, so be prepared for Karma. I sure know y'all love Karma here. #peace

    ReplyDelete
  8. Mstcheeeeeeeew! Can they stop with the letters already!

    Why is the single lady the problem here? There's a reason why your husband is leaving you for them, find out what it is and deal with it (physically, psychologically or spiritually) and stop blaming them. Did they come inside your home to pick him?

    I was reading Miss Pynk's blog was it yesterday and she talked about a couple of marriages, one was holding on to a one year old grudge, hadn't had sex with her husband for months! and one has a sassy mouth. If any of these men step out on their wives now, they'll cry foul too abi? And blame the single lady for helping her husband cheat.

    I know its not easy but stop blaming the ladies, find a solution to ur problem or pray for your husband. Better still, blame your husband for stepping out on you if you must blame someone

    ReplyDelete
  9. I never dated a married man as a single girl, I am married now and I can tell you that this write up is useless. A single girl does not owe us jack. She did not make any vow to us.J

    ReplyDelete
  10. Lmao at righteous married women. Nigerian women need to stop acting like men are babies no matter what you do, marry a man whose shortcomings you can identify and make sure a lack of discipline isnt one of them.

    Many men lack discipline and many more self control. Likewise many women marry these same men and keep praying for them. Even Jesus didn't save everyone he came across. Women need to pick their battles wisely.

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. Who died and made some married women gods over single girls eh kwa?

    ReplyDelete
  12. I haven't commented on this blog in a long ass while but I was moved to and will be going anon on this...SICK and TIRED of these stupid ass letters! Like Ruth said, get a brain and d**k padlock if u cant deal! y must it always be the single lady's fault? Is it the single lady's fault if u ended up with such a man? Like Sunshine said, find out y he cant stand ur ass n just.deal.with.it! damn.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Madam married woman who wrote this letter, swear you never slept with a married man when you were single. Swear now, so you'll fall and die. All of you claiming saints cause you're now 'married'. Rubbish. APC calling PDP black.
    Kratos

    ReplyDelete
  14. Single ladies wee b taking d article personal . lol. Thank God everybody go still marry. Hope y"all handle it d way u r telling d poster 2 get a dick padlock cos its easier said Dan done. I never had anything 2 do with a married man while single n yes not all gals dated a married man #eyesrolling lol. It doesn't still mean it can't happen. I just pray dat d man I got married to will b disciplined enough to resist temptation. D married men r to held more accountable 4 d act breaking dia vow to dia wives but d gals dat agreed r equally as evil. Hi Nwando happy belated bday sure u had fun. !hugs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nobody gives a shit. Tell your husbands to back off. These days married women are terribly promiscuous, people have better things to do than read shitty memos from deranged women.

      Delete
    2. U don't av to call anybody deranged yet. I don't even blame married women dat cheat dis days. D guys want to make theirs look like a norm dat women should accept. Oh well. When y"all get married help tell ur husbands 2 back up too n not start looking 4 21yr old fresh a** lol.

      Delete
    3. Lmao. You are both funny. But m'en cheat and women do too so everybody deal with it and stop disturbing other people. There are bigger issues in this world.

      Delete

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