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Dear Thelma (Thank God I Had Premarital Sex).





Thelma I'm thanking God I had sex with my soon to be ex boyfriend before we went to the altar. I knw it sounds many shades of wrong but I dnt care, I jst cannot sacrifice my happiness. When we started dating I suggested that we should be celibate till we marry that is if we get married. At first I thot I was a very lucky girl that I have a man that does not pressure me for sex n lovs me for me, but on second thought i noticed that my bobo was too happy about my suggestion. It was strange becuz he is not a virgin so I expected him to argue or even try to negotiate, maybe say we should have oral but not the real thing. I continue to enjoy the relationship till our family's became involved n his people started calling me his Iyawo. That was when I decided to give myself brain n take the car for a test b4 I buy it. The first red flag was that he was reluctant when I said I want us to have sex, I started wonderin wether he is impotent and so I started to insist but I just told him that I was horny n I did not want to cheat on him. The first time I was very very disappointed, the thing was like a small boy's own. God knows am not insulting him but it reminds me of my baby brither's own when he was still small. That was the first problem. The second one is that he is a one minute man, two minute at best. I love this guy o but unless he wants me to bring another man's child home for him then I cannot marry him. The problem now is that I have started to withdraw frm him n he has noticed it, I have given him all the excuses in the world, work is too busy, I am not feeling well, I even lied that I travelled for the weekend last month. Call me heartless if you want, na for ur pocket becuz I cannot compromise on good sex. Please my problem now is how do I break up with him? Should I just come clean n tell him it is becuz of the sex or should I say something else? Please is someone else facing this kind of problem too, how are you coping my sister? Thank u BVs.

Comments

  1. Wow, it's a good thing you noticed. Some how I am also forced to call him a fraud because this is something he should have shared with you as. Per he equally knows he ain't so proud of his "P"

    Sex is a very important element in marriage, infact, it is sooooo important cos a boring sex life in marriage is a sure ticket to commit adultery by both parties.

    Infact, I sometimes tell my. Hubby that marriage is a sex killer, cos everything just becomes different.

    You love this guy, therefore you must sit him down as an adult to talk about your fears and why you feel you can't go on with the. Relationship cos from what I gather, your mind is sooo made up about leaving the dude .

    So sorry about your relationship palava.

    My 2 cents. CEO

    ReplyDelete
  2. Biko don't tell him it's the size of his kini oh. It will just kill, bury and cement his ego. Just keep withdrawing gradually while you look for a reason to breakup. Spending the rest of one's life with bad sex is no joke. Them no dey buy am for market.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't you think that's a lil heartless for an advice. I'm sorry if u are offended, but what if you bf leaves you without a logical explanation?

      For the record, many women are married to men with small stuffs and they are happily married with a great 'sex life'. Now what is a Great 'sex life'? It isn't just about putting a penis into your vijayjay, far from it. In short statistics shows that way more than the average women do not experience orgasm simply through penetration. That where foreplay comes in.

      I will advise you to sit your partner down and explain what you are not comfortable with. I mean, that why you guys are in a relationship in the first place. Trust. Honesty. Companionship. And above all, Love.

      Go online, read relationship blogs around the worldwideweb. You both can go for counselling, thats if you love this guy beyond just his sexual organ.

      A lil PG 18+++
      For the record, My Organ isnt small and i'm sure as hell would make you cum multiple times without penetrating you.

      Delete
    2. Lollllll,Uyi after all the better things wey u talk u come take ur own peepee description spoil am. Hiannnn..Okay ohhh.

      Delete
    3. Uyi you at very funny.. How is a woman in her 20s -30s going to take a child's penjs ? It's a woman now? So she has to go for councelor and research. If it was the other way round, you and the most men (yes most) would disappear quickly. Pls.

      Delete
  3. But this is double Calamity!!! Why have a small kini & still an indomie man? Dude should pick a struggle now!!! Kai.

    Seriously Poster, I can't fault U nor praise U before *My christian vein pops* LOL

    But for me, I can be celibate all through the relationship till marriage, but Dude, i'll give him the best hand job ever just to check the accelerator, brake & engine. *No apologies*
    Marriage is too long to be anything but happy & GOOD sex, is a catalyst!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. & Poster, DONT tell him the truth about why u need out, just figure out a smooth way to sail out. But do it ONCE. Don't keep procrastinating dooms day.
      I can't teach U how to lie. I'm a child of God. LOL

      Delete
    2. This is a good suggestion o. Plenty hand action and mouth action both ways, to test d product and know d actual size.

      Delete
    3. So hand and mouth action is not Sex, u pple just like deceiving urself.

      Delete
    4. We are talking celibacy not chastity!!!

      It's masturbation not sexual intercourse...

      Delete
  4. On second thoughts though, what about asking him to see a doctor for general checkup. Let them test him. @ least you can bring up the two minute issue abi. #i don confuse sef#

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ruthy said to pick a struggle...Lol
    Good sex is important

    ReplyDelete
  6. Very funny post this one pass me biko. Lotnk GOD u found out on time shaaa.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Kai, I wish I can say love conquers all, but I'm married and I know sex is very important. Unless you are not crazy about sex (which is not the case here) find a subtle way out. Please don't tell him it's his D, it will crush him. Having sex before marriage is wrong, but please learn from this wrong doing or it will be in vain. covers face. J

    ReplyDelete
  8. Going Anonymous.5:57 pm, March 13, 2015

    Can a relationship just be perfect. I just found out my boyfriend of three years plus who has a business does yahoo by the side. And I told him I can't deal with it and left him. We spoke after 5weeks and he said its a normal thing and he will stop soon. I still love him and I've prayed but he seems to have chosen this bad life over me. i dont want to marry a fraudster but i love him. I miss him and im lonely. I'm torn apart. Please advise.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My dear... I don't want to play the devil's advocate but I think of all those women married to drug dealers, 419ers, fraudsters and thieving politicians (whom I believe are a lot worse than internet scammers) and they seem just fine. So...

      That said, it all boils down to what you can and cannot live with. I once dated a "yahoo" boy whom I really really liked, it's even possible I loved him. Initially I tried to overlook it but at some point i wasn't able to live with myself anymore. All the gifts, the trips, the pampering... At each point I'd imagine the hurt the victim went through when they found out they'd been scammed, the painful realization that they'd been stolen from and I just couldn't deal. I didn't end things immediately but when I saw that nigger wasn't planning to stop anytime soon I had to wear my bata and take a walk.

      It's simple, don't marry a fraudster if you don't want to, remember that it's not about you alone, he's going to be the father of your children.

      Goodluck bae.

      Delete
  9. Anonymous Rider!6:17 pm, March 13, 2015

    Lmao at Ruthie saying he should pick a struggle.
    Baby girl don't leave 80 for 20. If you love him and want to make things right. HELP HIM. Talk to him about the situation without bruising his ego.
    BOIL garlic and ginger. Have him drink the mixture. Plenty recipes online o. Maybe you should start by riding and then swap positions. Research and implement your findings. If Oga doesn't get better you can bounce.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How do you ride a small carrot.SMH

      Delete
    2. Lamao @small carrot,anon u wicked small.ohh. haba

      Delete
    3. This content is rated PG 21 :-D :-)


      the size doesn't matter as loong as he knows what to do with it..my current 'bf' had the smallest dick i have ever seen and the 1st time i saw it i was worried as f@#$!! However, i was wrong about not being sexually satisfied! dude can pound for Africa! from all angles! mind u, im not a skinny chic and even with all d 'ass' he is able to use his small peepee to do me very well from behind..and to tell u the truth, he is the first guy i have been with that makes me squirt besides the dude can go on for Africa!

      just wanted u to know that its not about the size..talk to him of u love him (in a nice way oooo) and find waus around it..some positions make guys cum early..so please explore with him..dont leave a great guy because of something like this...all the best chic

      #imout

      Delete
    4. Small *peepee* pounding from behind?!# huh?!#....even d large n long ones tend to slip out duting action..not to talk of a tiny one dt u wont even feel d effect even wen in missionary position...abeg..dont bobo us here biko

      Delete
  10. LMHAO! I LOLed through the whole thing.

    Dear Poster and Ruthy, thanks for the comic relief.. "Pick a struggle"..lol

    To your question, I don't know if the 2minute wahala is treatable medically but there's this Dr. Azor that spams my yahoo mail box, he swears he can treat the stuff, you may want to contact him.... LMAO!

    Seriously tho, if its something you guys can discuss, talk to him about it and try to get him medical help, I heard from a male friend once that over excitement can cause premature ejaculation and since it happened only once, you can't say for sure that he's a "one minute" man. That's not to say you should go and try again o!

    That said, if you feel this is something you can't cope with at all, please leave him, find something to tell him but don't tell him its because his d*ck is too small or because he can't last past 1 minute. No need to crush his ego on your way out.

    Completely Random..
    The fire alarm in my office went off a few minutes ago, omo! It was hilarious! Yours truly sharply put her system on standby, packed my stuff and ran out, some "Dons" remained in their seats o! I just don't understand it. How will u hear a fire alarm and seat calmly in ur seat like nothing dey. Only like 6 people in out of the many people that remained actually exited the building. The rest just stayed on the stairs laughing at those of us that left.
    Omo! I haven't even started achieving all the things I want to achieve in my life, let one useless preventable disaster not come and take my life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sunshine so u like urself like dis??.lollll, u no even fit wait..kaaii.

      Delete
    2. Sunshine, thank God you're safe.
      I'm actually worried about the response of your workmates. That is a HUGE security issue. What that's telling me is that your workplace does not practice fire drills. Workplaces should learn to enfirce these procedures, and link it to workplace performance, I mean, so many buildings dont have fire alarms, and the few that now have do not ensure that the response to the alarm is not only efficient, but quick.
      Fire alarms/issues are not a joking matter.
      If i were you, i would be speaking to management about the response. You don't have to call names, but you could be saving people in this building, and any other building they are in when a fire alarm goes off.

      Delete
    3. Do you guys have fire wardens? Does everyone know whom they are? Are there any fire extinguishers? Does anyone at your workplace know how to use them?
      This is a serious issue, and probably why a lot more buildings than should in developing countries catch fire. And the less aware the occupants are of the correct procedure, the higher the likelihood of increased casualties.

      Delete
    4. Mabel, no be small thing o.. as i was going back into the building, that line in 2face's song was just playing in my head "nobody wan die but dey wan go heaven". I was just laughing at myself

      Ada, there are no fire drills o, we're too busy looking for money and meeting targets. Even without regular drills, why would anybody want to remain in a burning building?

      I dont know the answers to most of the questions in ur second comment but i know we have extinguishers on every floor and all exit points are labeled with emergency numbers to call if a fire breaks out and a muster point downstairs.

      One woman kept telling us how fire drills work in the oil company her husband works with and how ur response to the drill is tied to ur appraisal or something like that. Anywaiz, thank God it was a false alarm.

      Delete
    5. Mabel, no be small thing o.. as i was going back into the building, that line in 2face's song was just playing in my head "nobody wan die but dey wan go heaven". I was just laughing at myself

      Ada, there are no fire drills o, we're too busy looking for money and meeting targets. Even without regular drills, why would anybody want to remain in a burning building?

      I dont know the answers to most of the questions in ur second comment but i know we have extinguishers on every floor and all exit points are labeled with emergency numbers to call if a fire breaks out and a muster point downstairs.

      One woman kept telling us how fire drills work in the oil company her husband works with and how ur response to the drill is tied to ur appraisal or something like that. Anywaiz, thank God it was a false alarm.

      Delete
  11. babe there is no remedy for the problem your man has. You Obviously want to enjoy sex in your marriage but if you marry this man you will not be happy. Count your loss and end this relationship. No one in their right mind will fault you. You dont want to enter a marriage knowing you're going to cheat on your husband. Fornication us bad enough, dont add adultery to your sins. Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  12. My dear, there's nothing wrong with your guy but low self-esteem. He is just acting like a virgin. There's no guy virgin that would act like a pro on his first time with a lady he loves. From the way you have expressed yourself, you may not be too experienced with having sex yourself. After all you were happy to not have sex for how long you guys were in the relationship. WATCH PORN AND GET BUSY YO.

    Who knows, you may have asked God for a man who won't want you for sex and God duly delivered and now your are running away? Humans and their insatiability, so you wanted hard rock that won't have sex until when you say so? I'm sure you are not Kim k. So don't try to eat your cake and have it(my fav. Line he he he)

    Abeg, tell him that you would like to have a great sex life in marriage and that you guys should find a way of making that a possibility... You don't expect that when people keep telling you you are ugly everyday and yiu wont accept that as true. My point is, if you TRULY love him, you would try to find a way to restore his confidence in sex. Sex is like swimming, you don't expect me in a swimming pool for the first time or when I know I can't swim well and then become a Michael Phelps overnight.

    IT IS A PSYCHOLOGICAL THING. WORK ON IT WITH YOUR PARTNER AND MOVE ON TO GREATER THINGS.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Uyi, life isn't always fair. Some men leave their women cos they say she has a wide Vajayjay. For her to complain, it means d dude no try @ all. If he wasn't a two minute man, plus say he could give good head, I'm not sure the babe will complain. Will you rather have her cheat later in the marriage. @ poster, if you can't tell him what the issue is, RUN!!! Let your heels not touch the ground, just run. Small kini, 2minutes, no cunnilingus.... that is a death sentence o. no one should come here and tell me sex isn't food.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Effizy nnne u dey vex ohhhh. Hiannnn. Lolll

      Delete
    2. Hmmmm, Maybel that's the truth o. Have u ever had someone drool over you in the name of giving head? Have you ever had to pick up a novel during sex? Say no to bad sex. If you must commit the sin @ all, then let it be worth it #lwtmb# Hahahahahhaha. And errrm, we don't want to be depending on dildos and sugar boys after marriage na.

      Delete
  14. I'm an advocate for sex after marriage and sex before marriage. That being said, using that to judge the outcome of your relationship negatively means you never loved your partner for the right reasons.

    Sexual performances should be the least in The Category of Important Subjects in a Real Relationship.

    You are not the first (nor the last) so why take the easy way out. Especially without a logical explanation.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Sex before and after marriage???* Bbm confused smiley.*

    ReplyDelete
  16. 18+ PG

    1st of all, a small penis is not a medical condition,there is nothing u can do about it.some are endowed like that while some are still believing God for a miracle.

    2nd of all, One minute ejaculation isn't his fault,ur punani is too sweet for his condo. lace your punani with agbo jedi and bitters and u will see ur man lasting longer.you will beg for him to cum.

    Do you engage in unsafe sex? Please invest in condoms.fleshy sex results in quick ejaculation.

    How many rounds can u go? don't b lazy.Try marathon sex.like 20 rounds in twenty 20mins.if your punani hasn't caught fire by then, kontinu.

    after trying all these and it doesn't work? consult ur legs and visit the nearest porn site near you.* you deserve to be with a porn star.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahahahahahahahahahah. Consult your legs. But Errm, some people have Lil. JT's and still use them well o. This one's case is just #scratches head#

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    3. My beloved sister has said it more... When u don do 5rounds straight then you not satisfied.... Then consult Ur local herbalist.

      Delete
    4. ROTFLMHAO!!! Bloggitup has killed somebody.

      Agbo jedi and bitters?!!! LOL... You need Jesus!
      And that last line... mehn!

      Delete
    5. Una no go kill person ohhh.haba,agbo Jedi at I bitters keee.Okay now.

      Delete
  17. It's always easy for women to be adviced to manage afterall the prize is the ring.
    My dear if a small dick and being a 60-secs-man is a deal breaker for u,do urself the needful (and there are a lot of reasons to give for breaking up w/ him w/o over hurting his feelings)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sasha I agree with you on this. Couples are advised to find out the flaws in their partners and determine if they can live with them or if such flaws are deal breakers. If this is a deal breaker for you Nne bounce jor. It's a valid reason. J

      Delete
  18. Why is it that every blogger and bv on most blogs claim to be celibate, ladun liadi, Linda ikeji, Thelma are all celibate. All d Bvs on sdk are celibate too. If I hear????

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon. did you ask how long, I can be celibate for 5 days running noww

      Delete
  19. Hahahaha@anon 4:40

    Brings back to memory a story I read on your blog T. @poster if you can't manage him please leave,someone who will be satisfied with him would definitely come. No be do or die.

    ReplyDelete

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