Hello everyone, I am a male, a ceo, an executive director and a contracted staff for two different companies, in as much as my busy schedules get the best parts of my time, I still create time to address the important things in my life hence, I’m also a huge fan of the important and useful news of this blog.
I’m in my early 30’s, a silent millionaire, unmarried and I would like to give my own version of my 2-cents in this “single, married, independent, dependent, somewhere in-between, not-sure-of-where-I-stand-yet” bruh-ha-ha of the female species and how you generalize the male folk in a very serious series of assumptions but yet, comical lifestyle.
I read the letters of both the single and married women to detail and I can tell you for a fact that you women (whether single or married) are the ignition to our drive, you either help us build the dream or destroy it and by dream, I mean the game plan of how, where and what we do with each other for now or the future. We didn’t wake up to start misbehaving, it is your inability to supply the help we need [hence the Biblical passage of you being referred to as “our helper”] that sets things messy on the long run.
You see, we are insatiable to the bone, we live for three things: MONEY, POWER, SEX – finish. If we as men cheat on you, that’s ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT, and for so many reasons – For the married women: When we first spotted you, you were fresh, yummy, intelligent (not all of you sha) and possessed a killer model-body frame [yes we fall for what we feed our eyes on]. We did all to get you, we married you and we fed our fantasies until……….when you stopped, you gave birth and it didn’t occur to you that staying in shape was one of the things that turned us on in you, why then look like an egg-roll all of a sudden after a couple of kids? Now you can’t lift a leg anymore and you complain that we complain, listen up sweethearts, do you notice that the other lady(ies) we cheat on you with are mainly younger and IN SHAPE? When it comes to our sex, don’t cut us short, we want you to play out all our fantasies, be our lover, our prostitute, our naughty nurse, our run-to-girl, our stripper…..yes, you can be all that bundled into one person. I tell you ladies that when your man is fed with these alter egos of you, he will dare NOT cheat cos not all women are like you and the thought of you giving it good to another nigger cos you guys split will haunt him all his life, no man wants to leave a bad b*tch / good woman.
This is just one of the many reasons why we cheat, others include……when you…..
· Double date / Get gifts from your ‘uncles’ / Sleep around for the fun of it / Lie consistently / All you do is ask for money / Cos we can’t buy you Gucci / Wink at another dude / You're talentless / You're an olodo / Can’t cook / Bad breath / hygiene / Bad English / Bleach / Argue uselessly……….etc
Now, I earlier said we live for three things, now here are three things we want in one woman:
1. A woman who’s street smart, a lady who knows business and can hold her man’s business in his absence (quick tip) – Save the cash your man gives you from time to time, snuggle up to him one cozy night, show him the cash and say these words: “Honey, here’s the thing, I want to start a biz that can be an asset in our future, I know quite a bit but I want you to school me, *present the cash* here’s quite an amount I saved from the cash you’ve been giving me”. Sweetheart, you just swept yo man off his feet and turned him on, the sex that night will be legendary. I assure you he will go out of his way to make you his only woman.
2. A woman who can cook. My lawd, if all you know how to cook is indomie, just die. It is true that the way to our hearts is via our tummies.
3. Finally, you’ve got to go all out on the love making, I explained this earlier. You’ve got to be a freak in the sheets, why else do you think we cheat on you? We want to be fed, it is very possible for us to stick to yo’ confused angry asses, if we close from work by 5pm, we’ll defy gravity to close by 1pm. If you don’t know how to be a bad b*tch to us, follow kim kardashian and see why kanye wants to die there.
N/B: We love freaky ish and we listen to good girls who talk dirty, that’s why we cheat , cos these thots give us what you refused to give us.
As for the independent woman who said we owe you loyalty cos we married you, excuse you? Sorry boo, we paid your bride price, you owe us loyalty with some change by the side, if we cheat, we ain’t doing it with goats, we doing this with your species, you on the other hand are the ones that my species hunt, we are not to blame, you are to blame cos you ain't loyal to yo man, you want free KFC but won't work for your own cash, you were lazy at some point, do you talk to us about it? Do you indulge us as a couple?
An independent woman doesn’t need a man to give her things in order to be comfortable, HE PROVIDES, RELIEVES HER OF STRESS AND HIS PRESENCE IS A BONUS to her life. We as men deserve your best when we provide for you (it’s not the same as dash) and if you are in it cos of what you can get from us, then STFU when karma taps your behind.
Lastly, this is a shout out to the real hardworking ladies that are out there keeping the rep strong, the real women who can hold real men down, those who can turn a house into a home, those who will stand by their men no matter what, those who know the value of their worth, those who can turn down expensive gifts without batting an eyelid, you are the real women that make real men blush.
I don't know if you've been following the Dear Single Women vs Dear Married Women letters on Linda Ikeji's blog. This is a response to all, which I find most ...... (Let me keep that adjective to myself), I'm more interested in yours.
And for anyone who wants to state the obvious, yes I know this is my second "copy and paste" from LIB this morning, can I help it that she's got interesting discussion-worthy topics...