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In Defense Of Living Together Before Marriage.





For some reason, even before I knew what relationships were about or what marriage really is, one portion of the bible that was deeply ingrained in my mind was that it was utterly sinful for an unmarried couple to live together as husband and wife. With this in mind I always frowned upon cohabitation between couples, whether or not they had children. Growing up however, I've come to realize that life is not so white and black. Still it had always been my firm belief that cohabiting will only hurt a relationship. My reasons were these; 
-it would kill the mystery ie see finish syndrome. 
-it would reduce the value a woman has in the man's eyes
-"why buy the cow when you're already getting the milk for free?"

Years ago, it wasn’t acceptable for a couple to start shacking up before marriage. Now, many people believe that if you don’t live together before marriage, it’s destined to fail. 

After reading the scenario on @conniegirlswag #Tuesdaychitchat yesterday, and the comments also, I'm beginning to think that there's wisdom in living together before actually getting married. To sum up the opinion of most commenters; "moving in together before marriage is wise and advisable. After you are married and living together is when you begin to see the REAL person you married. If you can see this beforehand and know if you can or cannot deal with certain characteristics of this other person, isn't it better to know and proceed accordingly? Is there any real benefit in finding out after?"


Read the scenario below and tell us what you think:


I recently decided to move in with my fiancé after dating for 18months. Our parents do not agree that we should live together before marriage but I am 33 and I felt it was right for me. I mean we've had enough sleepovers, weekenders and mini vacations so what more could we learn. Well it turns out, a lot! I've only just discovered some of his really nasty habits. I love him but didn't realise he was so filthy! Perhaps this is a typical bachelors life but he doesn't clean up after himself and I am worried about dealing with this. He leaves pots and plates in the sink for days, piles of laundry and don't even get me started on the condition of his bathroom! I love my man but this was an eye opener. He has major mood swings and I found out he is a closet smoker! We have seen eachother practically every weekday and weekend since we met so HOW did I not know he smoked! Moving in with him has me questioning whether I jumped the gun by moving in before hand. I'm having cold feet and it's not even a month. Is it better to see it ALL in the beginning so you know what you are working with? I have mixed feelings. Would I have been preferred to be blinded and make these discoveries day by day like most people or like my parents advised living apart and learning later is best? I'm bothered by his filthy ways. Do I compromise? I guess I have some habits he may not like too but this is all too overwhelming.


***
Does moving in together help or hurt a marriage? TTB readers, what are your thoughts?


Photo source; www.singleblackmale.org

Comments

  1. I will say in many cases it is an eye opener

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    1. I saw. I can't deal with my man being an 'I saw' after marriage. I better know what's up before then biko

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    2. Sorry...eerm..but did u mean to say "an eye sore"?. Still trying to comprehend it though.

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  2. What's the world turning into?

    When did it become ok to move in with a guy before getting married to him?

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    1. Asin??? I don't get, I can't move in with a guy before marriage.....i cant even spend a weekend at a guys place hian!!!!! I'll be irritated

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    2. And u r brownsugar dee?? OK oo

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  3. If we have to follow it from d moral aspect, it is wrong because the truth is u can't know a man's character 100%, but all I would say is do what you feel would favour u,if u wanna move in with ur man,fine n if not then watch him closely from living apart buy wait ohhh I would I always spend d weekend with my guy and not know he smokes?the babe no.dey observant biko.

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    1. Exactly my thoughts Maybel, she is not observant at all. Weekends, weekdays, Vacay! Common what else do u want? Besides its just plain wrong. Diz things are the reasons the spirit of God is our guidiance, no mistakes with the right guidiance.

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  4. "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked, who can know it?"-Jeremiah 17:9.

    For a long while I've tried to understand this verse by analyzing myself; I'm I (possibly) desperately wicked? Is there a chance of that? What does this mean? Surely I can't wake up each day planning on how to ruin lives? I've cracked my brain on this verse and nearly gave up till I stumbled on this 2 weeks ago:

    "...I cannot explain what is happening to me, because I do not do what I want, but on the contrary, the very things I hate...I know what is right does not abide in me...I discover this reality: though I wish to do what is right, the evil within me asserts itself first..." Romans 7:14-25.

    St. Paul just solved Jeremiah's *riddle*: Humans are generally inclined to Evil, albeit unconsciously most cases. To solve this problem of our *love* for evil, we try to sugarcoat, instead of letting our conscience take precedence over that dark cloud. Like St. Paul, we find it difficult to do the right thing but instead (and especially when it's a herculean task convincing the known world against Evil) find ourselves being convinced of the necessity of such evils. Excuses spring up in all forms and such statements like those of the lady who now stays with her fiance become words of wisdom. Sorry Thelma, there's no wisdom in justifying a sinful act. Paint a pot red, black, blue, green..it's still what it is, a pot. Give excuses like hygiene, dick size, virgin, gigolo/ho, habits...it's NEVER justified. And for those believers who would want to relate to what now goes on in the 21st century as against the *dark ages* be reminded that the GOD you serve is the same yesterday, today, and forever. HE frowned at these acts then, HE's frowning at them now. Stay blessed.

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    1. Errr... so I officially have a crush on you... you're my crush of the week! lool. Spot on!

      Like I said before... they just want to turn everything upside down! and make people that are sane and doing the right thing look crazy. call them fanatics and all. Really?! There's now a "valid" or "reasonable" reason to live together unmarried. O ga o! Very soon we won't know right from wrong. Meanwhile, what values/morals are we even going to instill in our children? I'm just sad mehn... like really.
      I'm proud to stand for what I believe in and condemn anything I deem as wrong. And this... this is wrong on ALL levels. it is not okay!

      *singing* Stand out... be not conformed to this world. be transformed, renew your mind.... *singing*
      tyre tribetts's song is beginning to make more sense.

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    2. Just to let you know something about, there's nufin 'right' and there's nufin 'wrong'...

      Wats wrong to you shouldn't be 'wrong' to another man. So don't try to impose your own 'self righteousness' on others. Please let's look beyond the guidelines set for us 'Christians' in the Holy Bible. Not everyone believes in the bible, I'm sure DAT makes dem lunatic.

      #justsaying

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    3. Uyi, I'm not imposing anything. I recognize that unbelievers dwell among us. Romans 2:12

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    4. That 'about' is actually Kabouy ...was actually referring to KABOUY. *autocorrect

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    5. Yh,He is the same forever but the world isn't and wldnt always be the same.
      Do what works for u and He alone wld be the judge...

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    6. Honestly, this world has become too complex to always relate with the Bible.(I am a huge believer of the bible, on record)

      Sometimes, our conscience is all that we need.
      And I'm sure it is each Man/Woman to his/her conscience. Let's just leave it like DAT.

      Love is all that matters in this world we are living in. Err, Memphis, late Mandela said Love comes easily/naturally to man than hate.
      So who am I to believe now? You or him?
      No one but my own conscience.

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  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  6. If u want 2 fornicate and live in sin, then I'd say live 2gether b4 marriage. But if U don't, and wanna b chaste, then don't! I say this coz according 2 d 2 most practiced religions in d world (xtianity and islam esp.), fornication does not begin @ d point of sexual intercourse. But begins with d looks, d spoken words, d touch and then d rest of d body. U can't live 2gether with ur boo without doing these things and worse, u can hardly escape copulating.
    All these excuses given above as 2 Y u shld live with ur boo b4 marriage R all Gibberish 2 me. U can kno all d most important things u need 2 kno abt ur spouse b4 marriage without living with them and if they leave anythg out in order 2 deceive u, that's dr cross. (Again this is where marrying a God-fearing spouse come in2 play, coz if they R God-fearing, they would always b straight with u).
    No matter how civilization is making pple 2 start thinking dt it is right, it has always been a taboo, and will always remain a taboo.
    God forbid dt a woman I'm gonna marry lives with me b4 marriage. Olorum maje!

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    1. Eesah u get query to answer I swear.*just passing by*

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    2. Eesah u get query to answer I swear.*just passing by*

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  7. Hmm,it has its pros and cons so I believe couples shld do whatever they feel and need to do that wld help their r/ship.
    Personally,il say doing the sleep overs and weekends shld be enuf but what do I know? Ain't in a committed r/ship...

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    1. Not committed=fuck buddy. Sasha bone am getting you.

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    2. Heheheheheheheee *passing by*
      sweet sensation's dodo = plantain chips! Soo hard! Kilode... *chews hard dodo*

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    3. Lol. Kabuoy

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    4. Lols,if ur in the mood for some math,u shld get ur calculations right...

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  8. I'm team live together first, but as a woman make sure you don't give him all the benefits. Don't get pregnant, don't submit (the bible asks wives not girlfriends to submit), don't make your body too accessible and do not be all domesticated. In fact treat him like a flat mate sometimes so that he will still miss somethings and want to marry you so that he can get the full package.

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    1. Anonymous like seriously?? U tink all these u stated above wouldn't happen?? How can u treat someone u practically shag every nite like a flat mate??ko joo ohhh, easier said Dan done meeennnmeeennn and u think u wouldn't get preggy??? Stay dere ohh

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    2. So you're saying she should give him the trial version! So it'll encourage him to buy/download the full version! Lmaooo!
      Since we are in the 21st century, we can't be doing things the way they did it in the 16th century. Toor! Ko buru! *observing*

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    3. Live together but don't give him all the benefits? Hehe.. oga! So there's a right way to do what isn't right in the first place. Issokay

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    4. Anon with all these ur rules, if the guy was testing you, you would ve failed then. The whole idea of living together is to ve a hint of who you really want to marry and now it turns out u are not domesticated, not interested in Sex and not submissive?? Hian

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    5. Abeg I like this Anon. Bible asks wives not girlfriends to submit. Kai! Uwa mmebi!

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  9. It is a sign of desperation on one level or the other and diminished value of self worth.

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  10. Thelma dear, just to be sure, EXACTLY what portion of the bible is this that you say is ingrained in your mind and where does it expressly state that "living together before marriage is utterly sinful"?
    Surely, you do not mean the verse that states that the marriage bed be undefiled, do you?
    Not trying to be the devil's advocate- just curious to know which portion this is.....

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  11. Just for the record. I'm a devout christian with my personal values in sync with most of my churches'.

    If someone chooses to live in a future husband's house, its no ones jurisdiction to dictate what is right and what is wrong with that, Just becos your thought process gives you a certain foundation/moral structure(doesn't have to be d bible) that guides you. I don't care.

    If you guys are against this, then I'm sure you all will be here judging Gays and homosexuals. Its not the bone of contention with the post. She's just being liberal as to expressing her positive experience of intentionally moving to her fiance's house. Whether you are a Muslim, christian, Jewish or pagan. Its not the point plz.

    This lady didn't get to know his future hubby in the traditional way of doing things, but found out in an unorthodox way. Does that make her less of a human being than any of you guys?

    That's why many relationships keep struggling and it ends up affecting the psyche of their offspring. Because your Bible and Qur'an says otherwise doesn't necessary need to apply on the whole world population.

    Mind you, there's no where in the bible where a man and a future wife cannot live together before marriage (please prove me wrong and don't insinuate for the Bible).
    Fine, there is the high tendency to commit fornication. But that does not stop the number of condoms, being produced in a day, reduce in number. Every unmarried guy/most unmarried ladies here are not virgins. Does that mean we should come on the blog to attack our urge to commit sin? Like as if after we finish the banter most of you won't go back to doing the same thing you are preaching. Let's stay true to our existence and accept our flaws wholeheartedly.

    We are all sinners. In short, our righteousness is like filthy rag in the sight of God. Are we to stop existing cos we have CHOSEN to sin in one situation or the other just to get what we want?
    Plz plz plz ...leave those moral justifications against her staying with her future hubby becos she wants to get to know him better. ABEG!!!

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    1. OMG!!! You mean Easah isn't a virgin?!! *jaws dropped*... na play o... ehen!
      Meanwhile... I like ur POV Uyi!

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  12. Uyi your comment would've been simple if you based it on this: "...Just becos your thought process gives you a certain foundation/moral structure(doesn't have to be d bible) that guides you...", but you jumbled it up by relating to Christian morals. Read Romans 2:12 and you'll see clearly that we all are judged by our conscience, believers and unbelievers alike. Assuming she's an unbeliever, she's ok.

    However when you implied that we are in no position to show resentment towards such things as believers, simply because we don't have any moral justification to do so, you totally wrong bro. If that be the case, let parents spare the rod from now on, seeing as they're obviously more rotten in sin than their kids or wards. You listen to your pastor each Sunday sermonizing on the evils to avoid that lead us away from the path of holiness, yet he has no moral justification. He's as rotten as you are. But because he's a *man of the cloth*, he's allowed audience, and TTBVs should "take several seats"? When has the classification of right and wrong become judging?

    And as for this: "...there's no where in the bible where a man and a future wife cannot live together before marriage...", I honestly don't know what you're implying here because that statement can be interpreted in many ways. All I ask of you is to define Adultery/Fornication, and tell us if you still need the holy book to spell it out for you whether it's wrong or right for an unmarried couple to cohabit. As a believer, recall that the LAW is supposed to be engraved in your heart. You don't need any kind of validation from a holy book before you act in a godly manner. Stay blessed.

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    1. Can I stopstop loving u Memphis?? million kisses for u muahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh . Uyi wants the bible to spell it out to him that man and woman shud not live together till marriage, *shaking my head*,Uyi na eckankar fit u I swear.

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    2. I understand your inclination towards resenting her.

      Living in a house with your future partner isn't a sin but it sometimes leads to sin, does that make it wrong?

      Working in a government parastatal would lead you to corruption which is a sin. Does that mean working there is wrong?

      My point is, do not impose Ur own conscience into hers.
      Like you said, if your conscience is clear then move along with it. Simple.

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    3. Living in a house with your future partner isn't a sin but it sometimes leads to sin, does that make it wrong?

      That's the bone of contention here and as adults and practicing believers,this is where physical and spiritual self control comes in...

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    4. So me and Sasha bone dey agree on something...

      Thanksgiving thingzzz....

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  13. If believers encouraged each others daily, they could make a huge difference in this sinful world. Verily, it is one d signs of a believer, duty, and dr mandate 2 advice pple 2 stay away 4rm sin anð encourage them 2 do righteous deeds.
    But 4 Uyi 2 come here trying 2 Justify dz sinful act, saying it's nowhere in d Holy books, makes me wanna SHM. Man, wht u R doing is encouraging sin, and I'm sorry, u would b held accountable by a higher power if some1 reads dz mesg of urs and thinks it's right thereby tumbling in2 sin.

    And 4 d records, we hv a handful of unmarried male and female virgins here. So don't conclude like dt since u ain't one.

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    1. Boss, all due respect. You are not a virgin. This is not a place to preach selfrighteousness.

      Eesah Eesah! Lol

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    2. Uyi na WA to you ooo. You're still doing the same thing? Chai.. "...Boss, all due respect. You are not a virgin...". I honestly doubt that as a self acclaimed/confessed Christian, you neither read your bible nor understand its contents. So because Eesah is neck deep in sin it gives him no place to condemn sin? I'll advice you to take your time and read the entire book of Romans. St. Paul talks about the urge to commit sin, the frequency to sin because grace abounds, committing sins even when one knows the LAW. The world has always been complex bro, no be today. If me, Eesah, or any other bloody sinner are to mind our business because we're all rotten, who then should speak? Eesah says you'll be held accountable for misleading unbelievers by these comments. He's ABSOLUTELY right. Again, read 1Corithians 8 when you have the time. Just to give you a hint, verse 13 says: "if what I eat causes my brother or sister to fall into sin, I will never eat it again...". If people of lesser faith take your words in all absoluteness, they will fall, and you'll answer for their fall instead of them. Just be careful.

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    3. Sometimes I wonder if Uyi reads his bible at all,all these argument wey u dey argue has been addressed in the new testament, plss read your bible more and u will understand, because u are a sinner doesn't mean u shudnt condemn sin, eesah is not claiming to be perfect and the fact dat he condemns certain things doesn't make him holy,he needs to condemn it so others wud know d truth n not fall, sorry I have to say this but I wonder what they preach in ur Catholic church Dats if they even preach at all.

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    4. I condemn sins that I commit, Not sins of others. I don't have the right to judge others based on their conscience, whether good or bad.

      How I wish Jesus took a stone to 'condemn' the prostitute in the bible. Anyways dats not the point. My issue is your moral jurisdiction shouldnt be used to judge others, simple.

      A serial killer who had so many victims and somehow (God forbid) Ur relative was one of his victims decides to give his life to Christ and was forgiven. Would u still feel that resentment towards him? I think so. Cos it affects you.

      My point is, there are sins against man and their are sins against Self. Sins against self shouldnt be in your jurisdiction, leave that to the person and his or her God. Shouldn't be Ur business or anyone else. Focus on the result that came out of her doing what ever she's done. It is a positive experience for her cos she would have learnt from it. Although that doesn't mean DAT someone who does DAT would end up learning positively from it as well But who cares? You and I? Pffffftttt....

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    5. Uyi, you can't talk with both sides of your mouth. Pick a side and stay there!

      So if you see a child that steals, because it wasn't you that committed that sin, you won't correct him/her? The thing is, the fact that we are all sinners doesn't mean we can't correct our brethren when they fall, that is love. Turning a blind eye because you're not a saint isn't what love preaches. Correcting a person who is doing something wrong or setting the record straight when the person isn't sure doesn't amount to condemnation or judgement, its just what it is, correction.

      We are all sinners and even the most righteous man's righteousness is like a filthy rag before God but what is right is right and what is wrong is wrong and as such, we should continue striving for perfection. The world might be complex but we are the ones who complicate it. If God has said he will never change and the basic things in life hasn't changed, what excuse will we render to God for changing. We say God will understand the way the world is but have we tried to see the same things from his own perspective?

      The fact that some people don't see anything wrong with what they are doing doesn't make it right. Why focus on the end result if the means is questionable? If you are waiting for God himself to come and tell you what you should already know, then you will wait till kingdom come. There's a reason why we have a conscience, the bible and ministers of God's word.

      If you are a professing Christian (Christ like) then live and act like one. Don't say you're a Christian and then try to justify sin or compromise your Christianity because the world is now "complex". If you want to be a Christian, be one and stand for what the bible teaches. If you want to be a pagan, be one. If you want to be an Atheist, by all means necessary, be one. Don't be be a Christian by mouth and an Atheist/ or pagan at heart. Pick a side and stay there!

      PS: The day Kabuoy meets you, she's going to give you a "dirty punch in the face" (that's if she can reach it tho..)

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    6. Lol...kabouy! So d Bible didn't talk against fighting abi?

      Its not abt being a christian or a pagan. This life has always evolved. If you were born in the 14th century as a christian, you won't be a pentecostal that you are now. So imagine I was coexisting with u and you were acting strange to the catholic doctrine in that time. It is my failing to correct you from going astray abi?

      Every now and then the church evolves. If something is not written in the bible, don't force it into it please. You only end up hurting your moral compass.

      You are a Christian today because of the catholic church but you have gone on to follow a different path while still believing in the bible. So you must be a sinner because you are not following the doctrine with which the said bible was compiled upon. Is DAT it?

      My point here is that she's not done anything biblically wrong by living with her future hubby and you and I know that. Whether u like it or not. And because she has her own way of believing in the bible that makes her a christian is something you should look at with fairness or you ignore it. Simple.

      You chose to believe in the bible compiled by the Catholic church for the catholic church in your own pentecostal way... I should come and start castigating you Na abi?

      Let sleeping dog lie please...

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    7. Lmaoo @ sunshine! Are you trying to say i'm short?! Smh!!!! I'm of average height! Believe it or not! Lool!


      Meanwhile... Uyi... yeah! it does actually. It even goes further to say that you should turn the other cheek when I punch the first one. Lool. Just kidding.

      You're still Uyi tho just that some of your comments make me want to bite or punch you! Lool! And you state them with "audacious impunity" lmao. Anyway... memphis is doing justice to the replies soo I can just "seethe" in peace. Lol

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    8. Lmaoo @ sunshine! Are you trying to say i'm short?! Smh!!!! I'm of average height! Believe it or not! Lool!


      Meanwhile... Uyi... yeah! it does actually. It even goes further to say that you should turn the other cheek when I punch the first one. Lool. Just kidding.

      You're still Uyi tho just that some of your comments make me want to bite or punch you! Lool! And you state them with "audacious impunity" lmao. Anyway... memphis is doing justice to the replies soo I can just "seethe" in peace. Lol

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  14. Maybel u have just blasphemed here. Why bring the Catholic Church into this? On judgement day is God going to ask anybody which church they attend? He is only going to ask you want you did here on earth on what you did not do that you are suppose to do... Besides Maybel, who made you the judge of the Catholic Church? trade carefully babes, before you start what you cant end and also note that Church does not save one, only JESUS does. Gracias.

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    1. Hahahahahaha. Take it easy Anon. I'm certain Mabel didn't mean what she said. Uyi's misunderstanding the whole issue and it obviously got her abit riled up.

      Bia Mabel, take ya time o. I'm Catholic too, and we have fantastic Services. :-)

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    2. Lmao! Memphis you see Wetin Mabel don cause now?

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    3. I just saw this,@anon trust mean I didn't mean it the way u think,even if he the wasn't catholic, I would have said the same,so plss do not misunderstand me.

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  16. I am not a sinner, I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. The that doesn't know God is the sinner, not the born again Christian that occasionally sins

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  17. All I know is that according to christians a sin is a sin. Small lies here and there, not paying your tithes, cheating, and a whole lot are sins . It's not adultery of fornication that makes you a sinner. And still that depends.
    There are traditions in my country where the man and woman must live together before they get married. Your notion of what's right are wrong is based on the bible/qu'ran which was imposed to you by the whiteman/Arabs. Does it mean the people who practice the above tradition and who are neither christians nor muslims are living in sin?
    Know that there is no 'absolute truth'. Truth is relative. It depends on your religion, your background, where you live, how you were raised,etc.
    Anyone who believes that they should live with a potential spouse before they get married should do so based on their conscience as Uyi said. In the end, it's each person's cup of tea.

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    1. Anon please tell them oh... They want to cut my neck with a guillotine cos of what I'm saying.

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  18. Away from the Biblical view, for someone who's experienced it, I would say I wouldn't encourage it. In most cases, if not all, it diminishes the value or self-worth of a lady. Worse still, God helps the lady if she gets pregnant and she's not financially independent enough to stay on her own and cater to the needs of the child. It would mean that she had given the absolute 'lordship' of her life to the man on a platter of platinum.

    Like Thelma wrote, it would now mean that the man gets free milk (plus meat join) and has no reason to buy the cow. If 'discovering' bad attitudes like being filthy and a closet smoker justifies the action, well, good luck. We shouldn't forget that in this part of the world, people always jump into conclusions; when lovers live-in together, they are regarded as 'husband and wife'. If it doesn't eventually work out, how many people do you want to convince that you were only live-in lovers and not married?

    -F

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  19. Lemme say dz 4 d last time: THERE IS NO MORAL JUSTIFICATION FOR COHABITING WITH UR PARTNER B4 MARRIGE.

    Saying there is nuffin wrong with it is endorsing fornication and u kno dt all religions in d world and even atheist frowns upon it.

    For the records, 9 out of every 10 couples living 2gether b4 marriage hv coitus. Infact u can hardly find a couple living 2gether b4 marriage without hvg actual intercourse. So there is no moral justification even if u are Hindu, atheist, muslim or xtian. It is a one size fits all irrespective of ur religion, race, creed etc. It is wrong in every aspect.

    #enuff said

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  20. Wow! Interesting I just love this....err I don't mean cohabiting lol. Personally I won't move in with a guy before marriage for many reasons I can't begin to list now.

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  21. Hmm. All these long justifications. If two people chose to live together thats their business.
    I dated my husband for a whopping 10 months before we got married. Even though i had my own apartment, i was probably at his place 90% of my sleeping hours. I believe strongly it contributed a lot to our getting married so quickly. We are both very independent people and can be somewhat difficult , we got along in the same space. Marriage was simply taking the vows and moving my stuff in fully. I had my own keys and life. Maybe the option of going back to my own apartment made it easier.

    www.pynk360.com

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  22. I just needed to see pynk360's comment on this issue and I am fine.i am of the opinion that we should stick to what works for you and your partner in a relationship,thats all.different strokes for diff folks.

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Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
My…

One More Post...

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…

Shhhhhhh....

I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 


Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.


Uyi & Tiwa