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"If Money Grows On Trees, Women Will Date Monkeys".






The first time I heard this statement I'm sure if I could I would have given the speaker a knock on the head, but hey I couldn't. I've often found myself feeling enraged or indignant when I heard those derogatory statements some men make about women when they generalize, when they say things like women have fish brain, or all women have a price, or if money grows on trees, women will date monkeys. Where did they get the idea from? Why would they talk like that, what gives them the right?

Well, as it turns out it's us women that sometimes gives them the right. I mean, last night I saw some extremely beautiful, well educated, supposedly classy ladies pander to a MONKEY! At first I couldn't believe my eyes... Ok, lemme backtrack a bit. 

So last night at the close of work I knew it would be suicidal to get into that traffic and head on home, on a whim I decided to go to The Place and buy myself a soda and some time, which I did. I got my drink, opened my ipad and started on an assignment. Then I noticed this very scraggy, very unkempt, very rugged looking boy, yes boy, come and sit on the table adjacent to mine, so he was facing me. It wasn't an issue so I continued to work. Then I noticed that he came with about four other boys. Now these guys must have all been in their twenties, I suppose, and they all hustled around him like a swarm of bees, running helter skelter to do his bidding. 

The first thing that caught my interest was that he sat down with this pompous smug look on his face, a look of entitlement. Then, one of the guys, wearing a white Senegalese came and placed before him a tray of food, another came and brought a tray of water and drinks. The reason this was most unusual is because anyone who's familiar with The Place knows that you stand on the queue and wait your turn and get your food. I've seen really important people stand on that queue, I've seen wealthy old(er) men stand on that queue, I've seen some very rich, generous aristos stand on that queue, I've seen really accomplished successful career women stand on that queue, so who was this rug rat that felt too important to stand and buy his own food? What kind of alert had he just received on his phone that suddenly bestowed upon him this kind of self-importance (yes, the alert must have just come, people accustomed to money do not behave like this). I wondered, as I divided my attention between my ipad and watching the boy. My ear piece was in my ears so up until that point I was watching without hearing. 

Next thing I knew the very brightly lit bukka suddenly got brighter. Three very "yellow" babes walked towards our tables and before I could say STOP they were at his table, one, playfully stroking the hair on his chin, the other flirting and teasing him. At this point I brought out my ear piece. I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt, maybe they were just good looking women but cut from the same cloth as him. No, these girls were no ashanas, they sounded very polish, posh if you will. These were obviously educated and refined ladies. For a second I couldn't believe my eyes; what kind of money did this guy, whom they ordinarily wouldn't comfortably sit in the same room with, have to offer them. They spent some time with him and after a while he brought out a bundle of 1000 naira notes and handed to the one standing closest to him. A few minutes later the giggling ladies left and the boy's grin became even more smug. 

I stuffed my ear piece back into my ears and decided to focus on my work, but it wasn't to be. Some minutes later someone tapped my shoulder and I looked up to see the otimkpu (that's what we call these cronies/sycophants that follow their fellow man around because of his money) standing by my side.  

I tried to make out what he was saying and then I realized my ear piece was still in my ears. It turned out the boy was calling me, the cronie pointed to him; "He is calling you". I looked at him and he flashed his stained yellow teeth at me; "eat something". He said, nay, ordered. I smiled and said no thanks. "Don't worry, am paying" he said, self-assured and benevolent. I'm fine, I said, trying to get back to work. "Are you waiting for somebody?" He asked and I shook my head no. "Oya come and sit down with me", he gestured to the other sit on his table. I looked up and saw that his cronies were all standing, they weren't allowed to sit, or eat. I smiled back and promptly ignored him, I gingerly put my ear piece back in my ears, dismissing him and discouraging any further communication. 

The cronie in white stood awkwardly by my side unsure what to do next, then slowly he left me. 

I was amused to see that "The Don" was a bit taken aback by my dismissal. 

I read a quote on Instagram earlier today; Females don't realize that we treat them how we perceive them. You set your own values, we act accordingly. 

Unfortunately, while some women place too much value on themselves that the money of a man alone cannot impress them, some others have the words value, self-worth, pride and dignity completely deleted from their vocabulary, and these are the ones that have led men to believe that we all come with price tags.

That said, to these men who always claim all women have a price, women have fish brain, if money grows on trees women will date monkeys, if these are the kind of women in your circle, if these are the kind of women you continue to attract, then please take a good look at yourself, the problem obviously is YOU.



***
Some weeks back my darling friend whom I call the Ambitious Entrepreneur said to me "The last thing on my mind right now is women. I want to make my billions first and then I wouldn't chase after women, they will chase me. The only women I might 'chase' then are Beyonce or Rihanna". I rolled my eyes and told him he was a dreamer, to which he responded  with seriousness and conviction; "All women have a price, some women's prices are just a lot higher than others. But all do". My friend is extremely bright, very enlightened, very educated and has never come across to me as sexist, misogynistic or chauvinistic. This made me wonder; am I naive or idealistic? Or do women really have price tags, all the man need do is find the right price? 

Let's talk. 

Comments

  1. Hmmm,the truth about this your write up is that soooo many women have price tags,just a few sensible ones(me inclusive) don't get down like that.Too many women no longer have values & morals,laziness has become the order of the day.They want easy money so they can take shit from anybody so long as money is involved.I die of shame when I see these things & I wonder what they'll teach the younger generation.God help us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. From your statement, my dear you have a price.

      No offense

      Delete
  2. Many women have a price. Especially in this depraved and deprived environment. What many didnt get at home from their dads they want from men. Which is why i am against women marrying straight out of their fathers houses.

    Thelma, you are a minority. Women who would rather earn than take are fast becoming a minority in Nigeria. The younger ones are looking for who to pay bills and support their excesses and as a result will do almost anything with almost anyone.

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not really sure if you have a price or you probably don't need to be prized anymore... *pensive*

      Delete
    2. Who died and made you judge of who has prices or not. Lol people sha. Ok do I have a price?

      Delete
  3. Truth is most women of our time hv a price. In my Location in Lagos 4 instance, out of every 10 young women u see, 9 of them hv a price. All u gotta do is doll out d right cheddar and they R @ ur beck and call. T u shldnt blame some of these men 4 calling women "fish brain" coz truely, most of these women hv fish brains. If not, how would u describe a woman dt knowingly plays second fiddle for 8 year? How do u describe d poster 4rm d other day dt was happy dating a married woman bcoz of d largess he was dishing out 2 her and asking if she could get preggars and keep d baby?
    how do u also describe d so called educated and refined ladies dt were lurking arnd dz so called money bag in ur narrative? U ever wonder Y all these rappers like Lilwayne and Rick Ross refer 2 women as hoes?

    Not until woman stop acting or giving d impression dt most of yall hv a price or hv fish brains, then I'm sorry, dt perception is here 2 stay.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thelma this statement has made me argue with my guy friends countless times! And they'll always end with speak for yourself. You can't speak for others. And with what iv seen... + all eesah said, I have to agree with him that it is really here to stay.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Kai! E pain me so I must comment!

    During my internship a girl lived with 1 of my male colleagues. Each morning while female nurses, doctors, pharmacists n co marched off to work, we passed her. She would be outside in her nightie n hair net, proudly hanging her man's boxers n briefs which she had just washed. I cringe even as I write this. Eishhhhh! No self-respect. The guy was so facially challenged......with a huge abdomen......just leave matter, Thelma. Leave am.....
    Dr.N

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yes dat perception is really here to stay and its quite unfortunate!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I can only speak for myself mehn...in this age n time most women hav prices n its soo not cool thou,there's nothing like self diginity.
    Pple call me boring cos I refuse to follow
    The trend n throw myself all over men because of Money n other material things,I will rather be boring than be bought with Money

    ReplyDelete
  8. Everyone has a price. Man and woman. The trick is to know yours. A woman is trained not to work for her money because she will get it from a man. A man is trained to work for money because it feeds his ego and he needs money to get a woman. Which further feeds his ego. Why do you think when a poor man makes money, he dumps the wife who suffered with him and go for his fantasy woman. That is the woman his newly fed ego ( fed by money) tells him he needs to show he has arrived. And erase his memory of poverty. Why do you think a principled man gets a new job and starts to steal. Because he has seen the type of money he can't say no to. If a man had invited you to dinner, sends a car to your house in the morning. The car takes you to the airport, you get on a private jet, go to Paris, have dinner and return to Lagos. He doesn't touch you or make salacious comments. Will you date him or even sleep with him? Know where you want to be and attract people with similar values, who will treat you with respect. The money will just be the gravy.

    Mallama

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice comment Mallama.

      -F

      Delete
    2. Well said Mallama.
      I am of the opinion that the " majority of people" ( men and women alike) have a price and I hardly think it is anything to be ashamed of really...

      Delete
    3. Well said Mallama.
      I am of the opinion that the " majority of people" ( men and women alike) have a price and I hardly think it is anything to be ashamed of really...

      Delete
  9. Yeah some women do have price tags. The funny thing is that if you end up with a foolish guy for reasons other than his money he will still go around talking that you came with a price. The kind of men that make such statements will make it whether the girl fell for their money or personality.

    ReplyDelete
  10. The thing is most women have a price, the ones who don't are very very few and far between. The statement used to vex me at some point but these ladies go about proving them right. Many don't take their time to read or educate themselves and end up making ignorant comments, hanging on to a guy's every word(whether right or wrong), worshipping the ground on which he walks because he has money. All this because they want to keep up with the latest fashion, carry designer hand bags, etc. Wanting all these isn't wrong but then, work hard for it.

    Personally, if a guy has money, although he suddenly becomes more attractive (naturally), I become very wary of him and try not to be the girl that loses her head, values and principles because a man has money and so at those times, I come off as proud/arrogant but that's not what it is.

    Anywaiz, to each his own. I don't care how much money a man has, God will not let me see what will make me lose my dignity and values to him and his money.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Why is everyone focusing on the women and forgetting the guy has Stoogies who hover around him? Are they hanging round for free or for the love/heck of it?

    Everyone has a price and it's just sexist to assume it's a feminine thing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They are called 'a won goons mi' and the ladies are called 'bitches'. That's the difference and The post is dwelling on why they(bitches) are the ones with the derogatory remarks.

      Delete
  12. Some men are as shameless as some women are. I have heard guys say that if a woman has money i.e sugar mummy o and her down below dey smell sef, they would cover nose and still do the dew...bcos of MONEY! It's relative and thats the truth and though it pains me as a woman when I hear stuff like women have a price, they have fish brain. they are cheap etc, I am consoled in the knowledge that no be my own down below dem take dey do the rubbish dem dey do and I have my un-adulterated dignity!..All glory to God......#JoyDaNuGirl

    ReplyDelete
  13. Everyone has a price, male and female alike...except the person is a sociopath.
    This price is either in cash or kind. Kind being words, care, looks, love, sex, intelligence and such- mostly abstract nouns.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Everyone has a price, it just may not be in money terms. It has to be something of value.

    ReplyDelete

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