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Mrs Selfish or Mrs Sensible?

How do you guys feel about welcoming guests into your marital home? Some folks won't even invite you over for Koolaid on a Saturday not to talk of weekends or moving in!My hubby's half sister recently passed away leaving behind her only child-a 12year old son. She was a single lady who took care of it all. The boys father was not a part of their lives and so family meetings had been held as to who would be responsible for the young lad.
As most of the family dynamics unravel, I'm nervous because my hubby is nominating himself already as the boys care taker which means he will stay in our home and become our responsibility. I have two young girls and do not feel this is the best decision for us. I love the boy but he throws severe tantrums and exhibits certain behaviours which require close supervision and can sometimes be dangerous. He is slightly "challenged" and I am uncomfortable bringing this into my home without proper care or experience but my husband cannot understand it any other way. I mean, if no one else has come forward to take responsibility then I know my husband will want to adopt him. I have told him my concerns and I'm not sure he hears me. 
As sensitive or pressing as it may be with inlaws or outsiders moving into your home, should there be clear boundary lines between you and your hubby before marriage? Or do the lines become blurry when it comes to helping your own family? This lady is in a precarious situation, if it was her own 
family, would she feel this way? She is rightfully protecting her home but at what cost? Is she selfish? #Relationships #FamilyIssues #Inlaws#whatsayeththee

This above is @conniegirlswag ChicChat topic for today. She does this every Tuesdays, follow her on Instagram @conniegirlswag to read interesting real life issues, learn and also be a part of the conversation. 

This lady is in a precarious situation, if it was her own family, would she feel this way? She is rightfully protecting her home but at what cost? Is she selfish? 


  1. I don't think this lady is being selfish in any way, she has two daughters for Christ's sake. I think her hubby is being very very insensitive here. Under normal circumstances they should have discussed and agreed.

    What stops the grand parents from taking over, in this case, he stays with them, while the hubby takes care of his financial needs, albeit in key areas, while other siblings cater to other minor stuff.

    Even if the situation were turned, I don't think any reasonable woman should allow such even from her own family.

    Statistics show that the rape of minors happen by those closet to them, usually close family, school teachers, relatives and neighbours.

    As a rule I won't allow my daughters be with males, family and friends alike without supervision.

    Men and their sentiments sef.

  2. I think she's being selfish. If it was her sister that had passed away, she wouldn't be saying all this. She doesn't want to help, that's wyy she is giving flimsy excuses to justify herself.
    My aunt's house has never been closed to anyone - relatives and non relatives alike - everyone is welcomed to stay for as long as they want. And no, she and her husband are not rich.
    My mum on the other hand, is just like the lady above. She wouldn't allow us visit relatives during holidays and she wouldn't let anyone come visit. My brother and I grew up in isolation with no close ties to our extended families. I do not think it's a good thing.

  3. Why do people think that if it was her own nephew she will think differently? Maybe she is being selfish sometimes you have to be selfish please.

  4. She's definitely being selfish. What if it was her sister's child? don't her own children throw tantrums? Please accept that child into your home dear lady. Let the love of God fill your heart and have compassion on him. I can't count how many of my uncles stayed with us while we were growing up and they still do. When I left the country, it was one of my mum's brother that lived with us then that really guided me and he still does. I'm going to his house for Easter and we have a very good relationship. My mum has 4 girls and a boy and we all grew up so please don't reject him. Let the Spirit of God guide you.

  5. What if she is a dead lady? Is this case, she would leave behind, two children without their father. She should suggest grand parents that's if they are alive, otherwise, the boy would be homeless if no one else accepts him. She should accept him and it him as her challenged son.

    1. Sorry about the typos. Try and make sense out of it please.

  6. Its a child for God's sake. The woman is selfish. I lost my brother in law months ago. Thank God his wife is strong, but everybody has a role to play. God forbid i die and i am a sole caregiver to a child, i wouldnt want my child with grandparents, they are done with parenting. The child needs younger parent figures.

    readily the topic i thought it was about family members. In this case its about a child...there is no reason unless the child is the proven devils spawn, even at that find ways around it. ITS A CHILD!

  7. I don't think she's being selfish. Am sure there are other ways to help without bringing him into their home. A 12 years old boy to me is not just a child... there's a whole lot going on with kids these days and already she's hinted at unruly behaviour on his part. She has two daughters to protect in an increasingly crazy world.
    I'd think it through too if it were me, with the welfare of my girls being my top priority. If that makes me selfish, it also makes me human.

  8. She is extremely selfish.... What if it's her own children that needed care. What If she and her hubby dies cus it happens! would she not want the best person to take care of the child?! Rubbish!!!

  9. She is being very selfish and inconsiderate. Naturally i would not want to take the boy. But i also know that if i died i would want my children to be taken in by someone and loved, which is why I would get over myself and take that boy in. Having two girls is not an excuse he is 12 and her childrens cousin.
    This is not an ideal situation situation, but someone has got to do it. And abive all God will bless you for loving another womans child like your own.

  10. She should take the boy in and help out. Poster Put urself in hubby's shoes..if the boy was ur family member would you act this way?..


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