Skip to main content

Mrs Selfish or Mrs Sensible?






How do you guys feel about welcoming guests into your marital home? Some folks won't even invite you over for Koolaid on a Saturday not to talk of weekends or moving in!My hubby's half sister recently passed away leaving behind her only child-a 12year old son. She was a single lady who took care of it all. The boys father was not a part of their lives and so family meetings had been held as to who would be responsible for the young lad.
As most of the family dynamics unravel, I'm nervous because my hubby is nominating himself already as the boys care taker which means he will stay in our home and become our responsibility. I have two young girls and do not feel this is the best decision for us. I love the boy but he throws severe tantrums and exhibits certain behaviours which require close supervision and can sometimes be dangerous. He is slightly "challenged" and I am uncomfortable bringing this into my home without proper care or experience but my husband cannot understand it any other way. I mean, if no one else has come forward to take responsibility then I know my husband will want to adopt him. I have told him my concerns and I'm not sure he hears me. 
As sensitive or pressing as it may be with inlaws or outsiders moving into your home, should there be clear boundary lines between you and your hubby before marriage? Or do the lines become blurry when it comes to helping your own family? This lady is in a precarious situation, if it was her own 
family, would she feel this way? She is rightfully protecting her home but at what cost? Is she selfish? #Relationships #FamilyIssues #Inlaws#whatsayeththee



This above is @conniegirlswag ChicChat topic for today. She does this every Tuesdays, follow her on Instagram @conniegirlswag to read interesting real life issues, learn and also be a part of the conversation. 

This lady is in a precarious situation, if it was her own family, would she feel this way? She is rightfully protecting her home but at what cost? Is she selfish? 

Comments

  1. I don't think this lady is being selfish in any way, she has two daughters for Christ's sake. I think her hubby is being very very insensitive here. Under normal circumstances they should have discussed and agreed.

    What stops the grand parents from taking over, in this case, he stays with them, while the hubby takes care of his financial needs, albeit in key areas, while other siblings cater to other minor stuff.

    Even if the situation were turned, I don't think any reasonable woman should allow such even from her own family.

    Statistics show that the rape of minors happen by those closet to them, usually close family, school teachers, relatives and neighbours.

    As a rule I won't allow my daughters be with males, family and friends alike without supervision.

    Men and their sentiments sef.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think she's being selfish. If it was her sister that had passed away, she wouldn't be saying all this. She doesn't want to help, that's wyy she is giving flimsy excuses to justify herself.
    My aunt's house has never been closed to anyone - relatives and non relatives alike - everyone is welcomed to stay for as long as they want. And no, she and her husband are not rich.
    My mum on the other hand, is just like the lady above. She wouldn't allow us visit relatives during holidays and she wouldn't let anyone come visit. My brother and I grew up in isolation with no close ties to our extended families. I do not think it's a good thing.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Why do people think that if it was her own nephew she will think differently? Maybe she is being selfish sometimes you have to be selfish please.

    ReplyDelete
  4. She's definitely being selfish. What if it was her sister's child? don't her own children throw tantrums? Please accept that child into your home dear lady. Let the love of God fill your heart and have compassion on him. I can't count how many of my uncles stayed with us while we were growing up and they still do. When I left the country, it was one of my mum's brother that lived with us then that really guided me and he still does. I'm going to his house for Easter and we have a very good relationship. My mum has 4 girls and a boy and we all grew up so please don't reject him. Let the Spirit of God guide you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. What if she is a dead lady? Is this case, she would leave behind, two children without their father. She should suggest grand parents that's if they are alive, otherwise, the boy would be homeless if no one else accepts him. She should accept him and it him as her challenged son.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry about the typos. Try and make sense out of it please.

      Delete
  6. Its a child for God's sake. The woman is selfish. I lost my brother in law months ago. Thank God his wife is strong, but everybody has a role to play. God forbid i die and i am a sole caregiver to a child, i wouldnt want my child with grandparents, they are done with parenting. The child needs younger parent figures.

    readily the topic i thought it was about family members. In this case its about a child...there is no reason unless the child is the proven devils spawn, even at that find ways around it. ITS A CHILD!

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
  7. I don't think she's being selfish. Am sure there are other ways to help without bringing him into their home. A 12 years old boy to me is not just a child... there's a whole lot going on with kids these days and already she's hinted at unruly behaviour on his part. She has two daughters to protect in an increasingly crazy world.
    I'd think it through too if it were me, with the welfare of my girls being my top priority. If that makes me selfish, it also makes me human.

    ReplyDelete
  8. She is extremely selfish.... What if it's her own children that needed care. What If she and her hubby dies cus it happens! would she not want the best person to take care of the child?! Rubbish!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. She is being very selfish and inconsiderate. Naturally i would not want to take the boy. But i also know that if i died i would want my children to be taken in by someone and loved, which is why I would get over myself and take that boy in. Having two girls is not an excuse he is 12 and her childrens cousin.
    This is not an ideal situation situation, but someone has got to do it. And abive all God will bless you for loving another womans child like your own.

    ReplyDelete
  10. She should take the boy in and help out. Poster Put urself in hubby's shoes..if the boy was ur family member would you act this way?..

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

***
This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…

...

Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
My…

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…

Shhhhhhh....

I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 


Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.


Uyi & Tiwa

Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.