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My Date Last Night. (Let's Talk About This)

When I did my taxes this year I found out that I spent over $14,000 on dates last year. Most of that was spent on dinner and drinks in Manhattan.
Now don’t get me wrong, I had some very good times, some great sex, some good conversations. Hell, I even made a good friend along the way, but mainly I came away from the datefeeling extremely disappointed and with a lighter wallet. Date by date it’s not THAT much money but it all adds up fast!
In the past I had a habit of always grabbing the check and paying whether my date was hot or not. Whether we clicked or not. Basically I felt ashamed to let her pay. I also kept an interesting statistic and even I was surprised that only 5% of my dates even offered to pay- yes you see that right- 5%! One girl in the entire year offered to pay for the entire check. A very nice gesture. But of course I paid and doubt she was sincere. In light of all this evidence I knew I had to change some things. So, this year…
How did I do this? First I adopted the mindset that a girl should naturally assume she’s paying for herself – not for me – for herself – I pay for me, you pay for you; we’re not at the ‘us’ stage just yet.
Now this wasn’t easy at first but I quickly got used to it. Then when going into the bar/restaurant/lounge etc. I would hand the server a credit card and ask them to open tabs for us. HEY!-Did you catch that? I said ‘TABS.’ Yah, don’t worry at least 95% of the girls I meet miss that one too. Just to make sure I usually confirm that the server has understood me too. I do this when the date rudely answers her cell phone or is in the bathroom (probably using her cell phone).
Guys, you know the MasterCard “priceless” series of commercials? Well, let me tell you, you won’t understand the meaning of ‘priceless’ until you see one of these girls handed their own check for 3 20$ martinis and overpriced food (that they would probably never buy on their own). It’s also very relaxing to encourage the girl to eat and drink up because even at 20$ a pop for exotic gooey blender drinks I could care less how many of them she has – cause SHE’S PAYING.
Oddly enough when she realizes that there are individual bills there will a few prolonged moments of discomfort. But don’t panic. Something that took me by surprise is how many girls suddenly have to ‘go to an ATM‘. I can’t quite figure out if it’s because their cc’s are maxed out on shoe purchases or that they are trying to guilt me into paying.
Well, probably a combination of both, but I’m remorseless after doing this for nearly 3 months now. Which brings me to my date last night… O-M-G!
Of course the classy nice Irish pub I suggested wasn’t good enough for her. Nah. She needed to go somewhere more trendy. Ok, no problem. W? Hudson? Meatpacking Dist? SoHo? Where we going? So she picks a midtown hotel bar. Nice place. Little stuffy. Drinks, not bad and Macadamia nuts on the lounge tables (complimentary) nice! Of course I went through my usual routine, handed the server a credit card asked her if we can start tabs she said, ‘sure’ and took the card. 1 drink in her cell phone rang. She apologized, (she had to get it). So I moved into confirmation mode. Our waitress even missed the ‘tabs’ part but she adjusted on the fly and told me no problem. Boy, let me tell you – the girl I was with could really throw down the drinks. She was drinking scotch that was older than the hotel we were in. Of course I encouraged her the whole way.
She was like, wow they have Johnny Walker BLUE label! I was like, ‘you ever try it?’ She’s like..’Nooooooo!!!’
I’m like, ‘go on..just get some’. She’s like ‘are you sure’. I’m like, ‘look, if you want it, just get it!’
So she ordered one, then another, and finally one more… wow she was probably more than a little drunk.
I stuck to my Stoli and Soda, splash of Cran.
When the BILL(S) came she sobered up fast. I caught a glimpse of hers, 5 drinks plus a little finger food $319.00 I think it was. She looked shocked and sick to her stomach when she saw 2 bills. Guess she thought I was buying. Think again. (The old me woulda soaked up the bill but steered her away from the Blue)
I had 4 drinks, no food and a great buzz. Pricey Stoli, but overall still a good value (I ate a ton of free macadamias and almonds) $36.00. Damn I thought, that BLUE label will get you every time. Of course she did more than the traditional fumble through her purse.
Her face was beat red and she was speechless. She left the bill on the table and excused herself for the restroom.
I had already paid and was sucking on some ice. The waitress was looking concerned. I told her, ‘look’. Sure enough my date was heading out toward the front door. I slowly grabbed my coat as the waitress ran after her. Then security or a bellman grabbed her at the door and a small shouting match ensued. Can you imagine, she was trying to leave – without paying!
Well, I didn’t stick around to see what happened. All I saw was the poor waitress standing just inside the front door with a small cocktail tray. She did look concerned but not panicked. A doorman and bell hop had the girl by the arm, outside and was semi-forcing her back inside, she wasn’t getting away from this bill. I paid my bill. I had my receipt.
But I couldn’t help wondering why she ordered 3 Johnny Walker Blues, doesn’t she know that stuff is expensive?
Then I wondered if they had to arrest her while I had another drink at my local Irish pub.
I haven’t heard from her again. Too bad, she was pretty cute too.
-Author Unknown
Tsk tsk. The guy was pretty mean, don't you think? I am fully Nigerian and "unfeminist" when it comes to dates and payments, unless I'm the one who asked you out on a date, or suggested we do drinks/dinner. But when the man is taking me out, then the man is paying. That said, when we go from casual dating to relationship, then either one of us can pay or we can occasionally split the bill.
What's your take on who pays on dates?
And Nigerian ladies, we are we guilty of this (you know we are), ordering things that we ordinarily cannot afford, and even if we can, if we're the ones paying we wouldn't make those orders. Isn't it funny how when you're out on your own or with your girls you eat at somewhere more affordable and/or limit your orders to the bare minimum, but when a man takes you out you suddenly insist on eating at Ocean Basket or Four Points, and you take the liberties to greedily order the most expensive meals without any regard to cost?
Tell me why.
Oh, and let's not even start with those of you with chronic poverty mentality, those of you who go on dates and order enough take away to feed a small village. I understand students do this a lot (and it's still not acceptable, even then), but when you're a graduate and a man takes you on a date and after eating you want to take for food your mother, father, brother, brother's children and their classmates... Tsk tsk. 


  1. I have always wondered with this and people. I never agree to go to a place with anybody where i cant cover whatever i eat. And when i was dating i usually ask the guy to recommend the place, most people wont recommend where they cannot afford. And i try not to judge anybody.

    And as a rule i always let the guy handle the bill if he so insisted, but left the tip. At the end of the day its only food, so what gives? Yeah everybody loves free, but greed is the downfall of many.

    I actually don't mind the guy's approach, as it can quickly help weed out the wheat from the shaft.

  2. Thelma youre just rambling, why wont you be full Nigerian and unfeminist, I know your type, trick.

    1. Shut up if u don't have anything meaningful to contribute.

    2. What exactly do you mean that you know her type? You ask me out and you expect me to pay? Why bother? I can understand if we have been friends for a while and not just anyhow friends. Please if you wont pay then don't ask me out. It doesn't mean I cant afford it.Nneka

    3. Exactly! If you won't pay then don't ask me out on a date biko; I didn't beg you for it. I believe a guy should pay on the 1st date, but subsequent dates can then be split(if d babe is reasonable). What irritates me is when babes get greedy on dates and eat what they themselves can't afford.
      Anyway, whenever I'm on a date(1st date or not), I always have cash with me to support the bill payment. It amazes me how ladies confidently go on dates with empty pockets.

  3. This is Nigeria, a man should pay for the date, its non negotiable. If you can't afford a fancy place, ask her out for just DRINKS

    The one that annoys me the most is when a girl brings her friend(s) to the date with the aim of having a free meal or just milking the guy dry, if you bring your friend to our date, no matter how great you seem, there's never going to be a second date. These girls hear date and all they think of is the food and not getting to know their date

    As for that guy, he should have made it clear to his date they'll both be splitting the bill, he was just being wicked

    1. The girl probably doesn't care if there's no second date. Maybe "she's just not that into you"... hehehee

    2. Of course, and that's the red flag. Any guy taking her on another date most likely do so to recoup his investmest

  4. "...But I couldn’t help wondering why she ordered 3 Johnny Walker Blues, doesn’t she know that stuff is expensive?..." HAHAHAHAHAHA.

    Oh well, C'est la vie. It's not going to stop dates from being *normal*. Lol

  5. well I once thought it a magnanimous bruofute for a legible bachelor to catastrophically disgantate a feminist point of metaphoric disdain.that said,why do we ladies always expect the male folk to autocratically mundane the electrifying disaster of such krikumkrakum? why not state your eagavacious delinquency of the mutatarbumka.
    I am going to stop here before I diagreputively gigantivate the subject of monotony.

    Culled from Chrisyinks fingers & patrick obahiagbon's mouth.

    1. Hehehehe *confused smiley *

    2. Blogitup, it hasn't reached this level or has it?

      I also agree that the guy was mean and intentionally or inadvertently misled the lady. A discreet warning of who is footing which bill would have gone a long way.

      For dates when I'm not in a relationship with the person concerned, I always foot the bill since oftentimes I am the one initiating the date and I get to spend time with such person. If in a relationship, then either of us or both of us.

      If there's a 'tag along', I might cancel on the date and certainly there isn't going to be any other date.

      In this part of the world, it's acceptable and expected that the guy usually handles the financing of the date. In the western world, it isn't odd for a lady to handle her own bills. Different societies, different strokes.

    3. Lmaooooo! You have lost me patapata! Looool

  6. When I was dating,I always had vex money ie enough to cover my bill plus transport cos we don't know who is cra

  7. Men should pay but there is nothing wrong in a lady picking the tab once in a while. But girls who go on dates and ask for take away for their friends and room mates are the biggest turn off. I would recommend what the man in the story did for girls like that, pay for her own food and ask them to give her the bill for the rest.

  8. I've always turned down dates, not even because I wasn't interested in being with the persons, but because I was usually too shy to even eat, let alone take out for a 'whole village'. It's not like I'm a generally shy person o...if there's anything like that. But to eat? Wahala.
    When I get to go for dates, I usually follow the guy's cue on pricing, especially when I think he's not that big financially. Yet, I hardly make ridiculous orders.

    1. cccc too shy to eat, what does that even mean? LOL. First dates used to freak me out when I was younger but now if I agree to a first date then I must really like you and if I really like you then I'm definitely excited to go on a date with you. If you're shy about eating then suggest drinks instead, or something. The problem with Nigeria is that our date options are very limited and centered around food. It's almost always food-drinks-movies. Bleh.

  9. I really don't mind the guy's approach cos we ladies can try to be smart. But that was mean
    But if a guy wants to take me out when am comfortable sitting in my house he's soo paying
    I always Carry Vex money shaa,it comes in handy

  10. My own question is why is the guy going on so many first dates??lool...but seriously if you ask me out on a first date, suggest a place and your paying, I will order within reason and carry vex money. The lady in the scenario above was plain greedy and she met her match hehe.

  11. When I go out for the first time with a guy I no dey chop like who dem dey pursue younger sister went out with a guy she 'already knew' had interest in her and she kno say she no go accept him 'proposal' sister come dey ask for rice and fresh fish....lmao...d guy say him no hold enof...grudginly she chop snacks!...lmao......#JoyDaNuGirl

  12. ".......the server a credit card asked her if we can start tabs she said, ‘sure’ and took the card. 1 drink in her cell phone rang. She apologized, (she had to get it). So I moved into confirmation mode. Our waitress even missed the ‘tabs’ part but she adjusted on the fly and told me no problem...........................
    She was like, wow they have Johnny Walker BLUE label! I was like, ‘you ever try it?’ She’s like..’Nooooooo!!!’
    I’m like, ‘go on..just get some’. She’s like ‘are you sure’. I’m like, ‘look, if you want it, just get it!’......"

    I think that this guy is really mean and intentionally misled this lady for reasons known only to himself.
    I think he knew the lady was likely to miss the part where he asked that they had separate tabs so the least he could have done when she asked if he was sure she could have the Blue ( because she believed he was paying) was hint that she could if SHE could afford it.

    He's just a jerk.

    1. I agree with you here too, cos sometimes I go on a date and I don't order all I want because I don't know how much the guy has but if he encourages or. Asks if dats only I order all in my mind(within consideration),who no like better thing.


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