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Stephanie Coker; Everything Has a Price. (Thelma Asks)





We are often in a hurry to get to where we want to be in life, that we forget what we have endured to get to where we are now. I look back at my journey over the past 3 years and although I am nowhere where I want to be, I am grateful for all I have achieved.  I remember when I just moved to Nigeria and was staying with family in ebutu metta, there was a certain man who I had several meetings with to develop a business idea of mine at the time. All was progressing well till he eventually turned the pages and approached me with his desire for me. He changed his rapport and even offered to buy me a flat in banana island so I could be more comfortable and settled. 

As tempting as such offers could be, nothing in life is free. Everything has a price and I'm proud to say that price was never my pride. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is no man/woman should determine your destiny. You may be offered all the worldly possessions but all these things expire, the bags go out of season and the cars depreciate in price. I would rather not have the latest designer bag than have a man gossip about my pride 2 years down the line. #justsaying #womenofvirtue #determination #pride #stephrockss

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Vivacious TV personality and actress; Stephanie Coker shared the above on Instagram. I applaud her for not trading her honor for material gains. For some people it might be worth yet, yet for a few virtuous ones, nothing is ever worth compromising your pride and honor for. Good one Steph!


But you know, I have so much faith in humanity (regardless of how often I see it fail), and yes, most (men) would never lift a finger for you without demanding/expecting sex in return. But God created a special few, and I'm blessed to say that I've crossed paths with a few among this few. I have had (men) do great things for me, some of this included "material gains" and I'm not referring to designer perfumes or plane tickets, while others were great acts of kindness that must have been very costly. And these few asked for, expected and got nothing in return. 

Have you ever been a recipient of this kind of favour/gesture, given by either a man or a woman? Please share with me your story. 

Now, this isn't to detract from Stephanie's message. I quite agree that some men can be vultures, and this brings me to my second question. A blog reader has asked me this question before, many people have asked it, I have and I'm asking again; why do men insist on having sex with a woman before they help her, even when they can offer such assistance very freely? Answers anyone? 



May God bless those who give freely from their hearts, asking for nothing, expecting nothing in return. May they never run out of grace, favour and abundance. Amen. 

Comments

  1. Stephanie pls stfu. Ur a rich kid with rich parents who came from England to a country that favours anybody with a foreign accent. Come back n sound self righteous when u don't know how ur next meal is going to come, or even have transport money to go to the market to buy garri. Nonsense.

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  2. And why the emphasis on ebute metta? So that people can praise u more abi? Shioor.

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  3. Somehow i distrust people who are quick to say they wont sell their pride. The older i get the more suspicious i am of moral champions. Until you are backed beyond a corner, dont preach on what you wont and cant do. However be grateful if you are fortunate enough to be able to walk away from such offers or never be tempted with them.

    PS: also never trust relocaters especially the ones with legal documentation to live elsewhere. When sh*t hits the fan, escape is a reality back to the UK or US.

    www.pynk360.com

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    Replies
    1. You couldn't have typed it any better!

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    2. Exactly pynk..easy quotes are hardly justified. Her media story isn't necessary biko. However she lives her life is her business, not ours.

      Delete
  4. I'd rather refer to it as dignity/honor rather than pride. The former is more noble in all description than the latter.

    That said, I believe that it is essential that everyone has a good grasp of what defines their essence. Society can sometimes be helpful in aiding us to place value on the essentials of a good life, however lately society hasn't been living up to that bidding. Life is meant to be lived interdependently, thus we'd need relationships to move to the next level and in these relationships, comprmises have to be made. The question is how much of one has to be lost to achieve a greater goal? The Bible helps with this:

    A good name is worth more than silver and gold (paraphrased).

    I'd advice we take out time to evaluate what we hold dear to our existence and always let it remain sacronsanct in whatever dealings we engage in. We may not always have the privilege of being born with a silver spoon like Stephanie Coker but we all are given an equal measure of freewill, courage, ambition, desire which are equally and agruably more important ingredients for success in life.

    To your questions, Yes, I have been a recipient of several free goodwill gestures from numerous people starting from my lord Jesus Christ (hehehe!). Can't remember others but a few stand out - I was re-deployed from the North during its heated period to Lagos by a benevolent NYSC employee who I haven't seen with my eyes till date, I had concerned friends who essentially tutored me through my undergraduate degree especially during my year 1 which was a tough time for me. Basically, when I look at my friends and their kind, benevolent and caring acts towards me, I remain resolute in my faith in humanity.

    To your second question, there a number of answers but I think an undergirding answer is that those men don't have the best interest of the lady. In a deal/relationship, a party always tries to get the best at the detriment of the other party (why I say one should define what's core and sacrosanct to you in any deal), others include men are oftentimes greedy and seek to get the best of a woman's virtue, some women have proven to be of easy virtue hence the mentality that perhaps all women are of easy virtue/has a price.

    Last, Amen to your prayers.

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  5. Sister Steph congratulations....your own beta, u no hawk fruit salad to survive na....I am happy for you...hmmm...may God give us grace to overcome when these temptations come and we are really in need....for those who have been able to its just God's grace plus determination....#JoyDaNuGirl

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  6. Erhmmmm...I dunno bout some people tho' buh when I hear a lady say, 'I can't trade my body for blah blah blah cuz I got pride'...it just seems fishy to me....See, the way I see it, a man won't just demand for sex unless he senses you don't know what you want or you don't know who you are or you are desperate or a vibe from you.....Men are not stupid you know....Having said that, not selling your pride is NOT a big deal...it is just an ethical thing to do...you shouldn't be applauded for using your common sense....I mean, it is just like saying 'I did not put my hand into fire'.....should you put your hand in fire???...C'mn honey!....Whether or not you sold or did not sell your body aint a big deal....the big deal here is "After deciding to do the right thing, did it pay off?'....that's the main lesson here....Keep doing the right thing and it will end in Praise....Simply Said!

    Hiya mami...Thanks for visiting...

    ReplyDelete
  7. LOL. Madam Pynk Thank U.
    Nothing to add...

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  8. Being born into wealth, as some have perceived Ms Coker to be, doesn't mean a lot of rich kids do not trade their bodies for favour. So, that she might be well comfortable doesn't equal no reason to give her body.

    Also, it might really have been very challenging for her, amidst the comfort she might have had, to turn down the offer, hence, the reference to it and mention on her IG page.
    Of course, some people who do crap come in public and give 'honourable' tales about themselves, yet, some people really do try to keep their honour.
    Now, why they tell stories in social media or elsewhere, is different. To dispel rumours? To encourage people in tight corners? Or just for pride? I wouldn't know.

    Yes Thelma, I've received gifts and been shown kindness to, by men who asked for nothing in return.
    Amen, may God bless such kind people.

    ReplyDelete
  9. @cccv, valid points, but as some of the comments have suggested, it really is kind of unnecessary for a lady of her status to be blowing the trumpet of this *act of pride* on Social Media. It's like Otedola's son coming to tell the world that he saw a bag containing N1million and didn't have it for keeps, then says it's about his Pride. A commendable gesture no doubt, but we should be aware that there are certain admirable things humans do that usually sync with their status quo that need not be announced. She should've kept it to herself.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hmm,that u said "no" to A don't mean u didn't say "yes" to B so save us the sanctimonious BS!
    And to the 2nd part of this post,yh,there are good people out there who do good for u w/o strings attached...

    ReplyDelete
  11. The summary, madam Coker: Park Well.

    ReplyDelete
  12. For the second part of the post yupp, i've been a benefactor of a stranger's unselfish good deed..recently. Warning: This is a story about 2000naira. not a plane ticket, not a job, just good ol 2k that felt like 2mil. And its a long ass story.
    3 weeks ago. 6am, on a friday morning. The clouds floated in the skies like giant suspended mucus on a....hehe, kidding. Ok I was supposed to be at one coker street on the mainland for the 3rd stage of a rigorous recruitment exercise (Assessment Centre) by 8am so I left lekki for CMS by 6am. Having spent only a few months in Lagos, I was-still am-unfamiliar with the terrain. So I intended to go to CMS and ask for directions.
    I got to CMS by 7:22 and began asking. EVERYONE i asked gave me a different suggestion. I asked an elderly woman she said ''ah! na for mushin o'... I asked politely if she was sure, she replied ''ewuhunc!'' *insert yoruba profanities*. Ma, you dont have to abuse me. ''efhkdkhcghghgtycn!!!! *more profanities*. This was by 8:30am
    Long story short, I begged a taxi man to take me. I begged cos he said the fare was 2k and I only had 1k in my wallet and no ATM. I had no prospects of paying him till monday cos the test was gonna end by 7pm. (I didnt tell him that sha). So I desperately offered him 900 + my phone and told him i'll pay the rest later in the day. He reluctantly agreed. We then exchanged numbers.
    I got to the venue by 8:30, luckily they hadnt started. Met a group of like-minded folks and we began talking and I told them how I got to the venue. Honestly, I didnt intend to score pity points, I just wanted them to laugh, and they did and we forgot about it-or so I thought. The test ended by 8pm. I was about heading out of the venue, thinking of how I was gonna use 100bucks to get back to lekki, One of the girls called me and handed me 2 crisp 1k naira notes. I began mumbling ''wow, thank you, how do i pay..'' She said no need for that.I didnt even know how to react, I didnt even know her name, didnt even get her number.
    It may seem like nothing to some of you but this kinda stuff has never happened to me....

    ReplyDelete
  13. wow Punintended that is unmerited favor,bless her soul,hope you got the job? Yes i have received favour from men who never asked anything in return.

    ReplyDelete

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