Skip to main content

Stephanie Coker; Everything Has a Price. (Thelma Asks)

We are often in a hurry to get to where we want to be in life, that we forget what we have endured to get to where we are now. I look back at my journey over the past 3 years and although I am nowhere where I want to be, I am grateful for all I have achieved.  I remember when I just moved to Nigeria and was staying with family in ebutu metta, there was a certain man who I had several meetings with to develop a business idea of mine at the time. All was progressing well till he eventually turned the pages and approached me with his desire for me. He changed his rapport and even offered to buy me a flat in banana island so I could be more comfortable and settled. 

As tempting as such offers could be, nothing in life is free. Everything has a price and I'm proud to say that price was never my pride. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is no man/woman should determine your destiny. You may be offered all the worldly possessions but all these things expire, the bags go out of season and the cars depreciate in price. I would rather not have the latest designer bag than have a man gossip about my pride 2 years down the line. #justsaying #womenofvirtue #determination #pride #stephrockss


Vivacious TV personality and actress; Stephanie Coker shared the above on Instagram. I applaud her for not trading her honor for material gains. For some people it might be worth yet, yet for a few virtuous ones, nothing is ever worth compromising your pride and honor for. Good one Steph!

But you know, I have so much faith in humanity (regardless of how often I see it fail), and yes, most (men) would never lift a finger for you without demanding/expecting sex in return. But God created a special few, and I'm blessed to say that I've crossed paths with a few among this few. I have had (men) do great things for me, some of this included "material gains" and I'm not referring to designer perfumes or plane tickets, while others were great acts of kindness that must have been very costly. And these few asked for, expected and got nothing in return. 

Have you ever been a recipient of this kind of favour/gesture, given by either a man or a woman? Please share with me your story. 

Now, this isn't to detract from Stephanie's message. I quite agree that some men can be vultures, and this brings me to my second question. A blog reader has asked me this question before, many people have asked it, I have and I'm asking again; why do men insist on having sex with a woman before they help her, even when they can offer such assistance very freely? Answers anyone? 

May God bless those who give freely from their hearts, asking for nothing, expecting nothing in return. May they never run out of grace, favour and abundance. Amen. 


  1. Stephanie pls stfu. Ur a rich kid with rich parents who came from England to a country that favours anybody with a foreign accent. Come back n sound self righteous when u don't know how ur next meal is going to come, or even have transport money to go to the market to buy garri. Nonsense.

  2. And why the emphasis on ebute metta? So that people can praise u more abi? Shioor.

  3. Somehow i distrust people who are quick to say they wont sell their pride. The older i get the more suspicious i am of moral champions. Until you are backed beyond a corner, dont preach on what you wont and cant do. However be grateful if you are fortunate enough to be able to walk away from such offers or never be tempted with them.

    PS: also never trust relocaters especially the ones with legal documentation to live elsewhere. When sh*t hits the fan, escape is a reality back to the UK or US.

    1. You couldn't have typed it any better!

    2. Exactly pynk..easy quotes are hardly justified. Her media story isn't necessary biko. However she lives her life is her business, not ours.

  4. I'd rather refer to it as dignity/honor rather than pride. The former is more noble in all description than the latter.

    That said, I believe that it is essential that everyone has a good grasp of what defines their essence. Society can sometimes be helpful in aiding us to place value on the essentials of a good life, however lately society hasn't been living up to that bidding. Life is meant to be lived interdependently, thus we'd need relationships to move to the next level and in these relationships, comprmises have to be made. The question is how much of one has to be lost to achieve a greater goal? The Bible helps with this:

    A good name is worth more than silver and gold (paraphrased).

    I'd advice we take out time to evaluate what we hold dear to our existence and always let it remain sacronsanct in whatever dealings we engage in. We may not always have the privilege of being born with a silver spoon like Stephanie Coker but we all are given an equal measure of freewill, courage, ambition, desire which are equally and agruably more important ingredients for success in life.

    To your questions, Yes, I have been a recipient of several free goodwill gestures from numerous people starting from my lord Jesus Christ (hehehe!). Can't remember others but a few stand out - I was re-deployed from the North during its heated period to Lagos by a benevolent NYSC employee who I haven't seen with my eyes till date, I had concerned friends who essentially tutored me through my undergraduate degree especially during my year 1 which was a tough time for me. Basically, when I look at my friends and their kind, benevolent and caring acts towards me, I remain resolute in my faith in humanity.

    To your second question, there a number of answers but I think an undergirding answer is that those men don't have the best interest of the lady. In a deal/relationship, a party always tries to get the best at the detriment of the other party (why I say one should define what's core and sacrosanct to you in any deal), others include men are oftentimes greedy and seek to get the best of a woman's virtue, some women have proven to be of easy virtue hence the mentality that perhaps all women are of easy virtue/has a price.

    Last, Amen to your prayers.

  5. Sister Steph congratulations....your own beta, u no hawk fruit salad to survive na....I am happy for you...hmmm...may God give us grace to overcome when these temptations come and we are really in need....for those who have been able to its just God's grace plus determination....#JoyDaNuGirl

  6. Erhmmmm...I dunno bout some people tho' buh when I hear a lady say, 'I can't trade my body for blah blah blah cuz I got pride' just seems fishy to me....See, the way I see it, a man won't just demand for sex unless he senses you don't know what you want or you don't know who you are or you are desperate or a vibe from you.....Men are not stupid you know....Having said that, not selling your pride is NOT a big is just an ethical thing to shouldn't be applauded for using your common sense....I mean, it is just like saying 'I did not put my hand into fire'.....should you put your hand in fire???...C'mn honey!....Whether or not you sold or did not sell your body aint a big deal....the big deal here is "After deciding to do the right thing, did it pay off?'....that's the main lesson here....Keep doing the right thing and it will end in Praise....Simply Said!

    Hiya mami...Thanks for visiting...

  7. LOL. Madam Pynk Thank U.
    Nothing to add...

  8. Being born into wealth, as some have perceived Ms Coker to be, doesn't mean a lot of rich kids do not trade their bodies for favour. So, that she might be well comfortable doesn't equal no reason to give her body.

    Also, it might really have been very challenging for her, amidst the comfort she might have had, to turn down the offer, hence, the reference to it and mention on her IG page.
    Of course, some people who do crap come in public and give 'honourable' tales about themselves, yet, some people really do try to keep their honour.
    Now, why they tell stories in social media or elsewhere, is different. To dispel rumours? To encourage people in tight corners? Or just for pride? I wouldn't know.

    Yes Thelma, I've received gifts and been shown kindness to, by men who asked for nothing in return.
    Amen, may God bless such kind people.

  9. @cccv, valid points, but as some of the comments have suggested, it really is kind of unnecessary for a lady of her status to be blowing the trumpet of this *act of pride* on Social Media. It's like Otedola's son coming to tell the world that he saw a bag containing N1million and didn't have it for keeps, then says it's about his Pride. A commendable gesture no doubt, but we should be aware that there are certain admirable things humans do that usually sync with their status quo that need not be announced. She should've kept it to herself.

  10. Hmm,that u said "no" to A don't mean u didn't say "yes" to B so save us the sanctimonious BS!
    And to the 2nd part of this post,yh,there are good people out there who do good for u w/o strings attached...

  11. The summary, madam Coker: Park Well.

  12. For the second part of the post yupp, i've been a benefactor of a stranger's unselfish good deed..recently. Warning: This is a story about 2000naira. not a plane ticket, not a job, just good ol 2k that felt like 2mil. And its a long ass story.
    3 weeks ago. 6am, on a friday morning. The clouds floated in the skies like giant suspended mucus on a....hehe, kidding. Ok I was supposed to be at one coker street on the mainland for the 3rd stage of a rigorous recruitment exercise (Assessment Centre) by 8am so I left lekki for CMS by 6am. Having spent only a few months in Lagos, I was-still am-unfamiliar with the terrain. So I intended to go to CMS and ask for directions.
    I got to CMS by 7:22 and began asking. EVERYONE i asked gave me a different suggestion. I asked an elderly woman she said ''ah! na for mushin o'... I asked politely if she was sure, she replied ''ewuhunc!'' *insert yoruba profanities*. Ma, you dont have to abuse me. ''efhkdkhcghghgtycn!!!! *more profanities*. This was by 8:30am
    Long story short, I begged a taxi man to take me. I begged cos he said the fare was 2k and I only had 1k in my wallet and no ATM. I had no prospects of paying him till monday cos the test was gonna end by 7pm. (I didnt tell him that sha). So I desperately offered him 900 + my phone and told him i'll pay the rest later in the day. He reluctantly agreed. We then exchanged numbers.
    I got to the venue by 8:30, luckily they hadnt started. Met a group of like-minded folks and we began talking and I told them how I got to the venue. Honestly, I didnt intend to score pity points, I just wanted them to laugh, and they did and we forgot about it-or so I thought. The test ended by 8pm. I was about heading out of the venue, thinking of how I was gonna use 100bucks to get back to lekki, One of the girls called me and handed me 2 crisp 1k naira notes. I began mumbling ''wow, thank you, how do i pay..'' She said no need for that.I didnt even know how to react, I didnt even know her name, didnt even get her number.
    It may seem like nothing to some of you but this kinda stuff has never happened to me....

  13. wow Punintended that is unmerited favor,bless her soul,hope you got the job? Yes i have received favour from men who never asked anything in return.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…


Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Closed Chapter...

Hello everyone, yesterday a friend said to me, Thelma I love your blog, I've told so many people about your blog, I think you're a very good writer but I feel there's something you're not doing right"

This friend was the first person who won our beauty of the day contest back then in 2014. Then we had met just once through a mutual friend. I mentioned the blog to her and she became an instant reader. I wouldn't have exactly called her a friend then but yesterday as we sat down waiting for our Uber to come get us from Wal-Mart, she's definitely my friend and I knew she was coming from a good place when she said she had much higher expectations of my blog.

Me too.

But you see, in the last year or so, maybe even longer than that, I haven't felt much joy in blogging. It began to feel more and more of a laborious chore, one which I hardly reaped any fruits from.

I really love writing, I love sharing my life and my experiences with others and I've enjoy…

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa