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Devious Maids of Lekki.

In the last post I mentioned that I had a couple of meetings yesterday. For one of the meetings the client suggested that we meet at her home. On getting there, I took in the very spacious compound, well furnished home and shiny polished floors. I took my seat to wait for my host while I wondered whose job it was to keep the crib in such a spotless state. Right on cue the answer appeared from behind me; "Aunty Nwandooooooooo" I heard someone shriek. I spun around to see our former maid *Kate. Surprised, I jumped up and hugged her and then it all came back and just as if she could read my mind, she 'cut eye' for me to not say anything that could threaten her stay in this lavish home where she wears crisp white uniforms and speaks with the same diction she assumes the Queen speaks with. 

Well it's not like she did anything so outrageous. She only collected her salary and told us she was going to buy some toiletries and never showed up. At first we thought nothing of it because her bags were still in her room. But on closer inspection we learnt that she filled the bags with rags. We called her phone for weeks but never reached her.

I can't say I'm surprised. The Lekki maids are a special breed all their own.

It's as though they know to take advantage of the over-priced "Island life" and so demand salaries twice or more what their counterparts on the mainland earn. Take for instance how the ladies that have been taken to my mum in Surulere (and other households I'm familiar with) ask for 10k or so and all the ones that have been brought here ask for 25k or more. 

After Kate left Lydia came. We agreed on 25k. First off she said we had to buy her toiletries and we did. Oh, know that she didn't use 'toilet' soap like Lux or Imperial Leather and she wanted Revlon cream. Ok. Then it was time to change her hair and when I gave her 200 naira to buy Ozone relaxer she said she uses only Dark 'n' Lovely kit. Ok. Then she said the three meals a day weren't enough and she needed a snack in between. Ok Lydia, you're free to have cookies or candy, just be moderate, please. And then Lydia came and said "I don't want (Lipton) tea with my breakfast anymore, it's is drying my body. I want warm chocolate (Nesquik)". And that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Lydia, there's a reason you're getting a salary, feel free to buy those "other" things that you need.

Some days later Lydia said her parents had summoned her back to the village but barely two weeks later at The Palms we saw Lydia pushing the pram of a gorgeous baby, with the gorgeous mother beside her. My brother shook me and pointed to her but unlike Kate who readily greeted me, Lydia averted her gaze, pretending not to see or know us. 

And that's the way they do it. Send them to the market or give them a day off and they go for "interviews". If the house is bigger; meaning the madam is richer, and richer means slower (because they, sometimes rightly, believe that the richer the madam the less street-wise she is and thus the more easily she can be taken advantage of), and the pay is more, even by just a thousand or two, the next day they pack their bags and either disappear or tell you that they've been summoned back home.

It's the same way Onyi, my sister's friend who lives in Ikota went to visit a client in Lekki 1. The client told her that she was expecting a maid that just arrived from the village. She was just going to ask her a few questions and if she liked her then she would ask her to resume the next day, as the maid had said she could resume immediately. Onyi was shocked when, during lunch the new maid walked in and it was none other than her own maid whom she had sent to the market. LOL. Apparently she decided to kill two birds with one stone and attended the interview before buying food stuff for madam. 

As you can see, these maids ain't loyal! But can I blame them? It's the same thing everyone does, constantly looking for better opportunities to better their lives. 

Unfortunately it's not that harmless. Some Lekki maids insist on staying in the rooms at the back or in th BQ. Notice how a lot of these Lekki maids "insist" and "demand"? Yes, although they're no better than maids anywhere else, it seems their madams had more difficulty getting them so they take advantage of this because madam doesn't want to lose them in a hurry... Especially if the kids are already used to them. So they demand and insist and madam sometimes has no choice but to submit to their demands just to keep them happy. 
     So, we learnt that some of those who stay in the BQ often have night jobs. If you're lucky they only give your security man a tip and sneak out and back in, in the morning. And if you're not so lucky then while you're sleeping soundly they use the BQ in your home as a brothel and bring in their "customers", possibly putting you and your family at risk. And if you're even more unlucky they get some sexually transmitted diseases and your children especially are exposed. You know most of us don't run tests on them after the first ones we do after they just start work. 

So there, these are a few observations I've had on (Lekki) maids. So, regardless of where you live, don't be outsmarted and please run regularly tests on the people in your homes, especially if you've got little children. 

Oh, the word "maid" means a female domestic helper but if it offends your overly sensitive politically correct sensibility, please feel free to replace it with domestic servant, house girl, house help or whatever makes you sleep better at night. And you should know that everyone referred to is over 21. I don't subscribe to using children as maids or domestic staff. 

Above picture; taken from the movie The Help. 


  1. Hahahahahahaahahahahahaaa! I can't imagine the shock and "addonbelievedis" look on onyi's face! Lmaooo!

  2. True it's everywhere. They go from house to house looking for only God knows what.

  3. Thelma it's so true especially the BQ part, they will just turn your house to hotel in the night. People need to be careful. Lol @ warm chocolate. Ole!

  4. Lol at Lipton is drying my body..... I don't have a maid and I don't even plan on having one,to avoid stories that other words,am off to buy Lipton, let it dry my body small**weight loss program activated**TNHW

  5. I wonder hw onyi's maid explained herself afterwards
    Maids thisdays shaa

  6. After my experience with the last maid I had - a 27-year old widowed-mother of a few children, I vowed never again.

    She practically turned my house into a brothel and fed my first daughter with a lot of stories relating to her sexacapdes. She would lie to my hairdresser that she was going for an interview so the lady should make her hair very nicely - on credit.

    Honestly, if one could find a way around it, one shouldn't hire a live-in maid.The ones that come in the morning and leave in the evening are not so fantastic but better than most live-in maids.


  7. When my maid/nanny first came for an interview, she told me, madam, I no dey wash madam cloth, or. Fetch water, I no dey drink garri, or eat beans and Titus fish. (hian).

    This was. After she just came back from a night vigil and was starving. A friend of mine brought her very early for the interview, so I made them so yam and eggs for bfast. My friend turned ow her fast, about 3 round slices of yam, so I was forced to give the proposed maid. She ate 6 slices of yam and obviously wasn't satisfied.

    My friend. Stayed till evening and helped me make some Afang soup for lunch, without asking, she made eba for the house and I wasn't hungry, the proposed maid had to eat triple portion of ebs made for me and hubby. I made fried rice for dinner at about 6pm and n this lady still ate from my friend plate. (she is 23 yrs old, with 4 kids o).

    My hubby didn't want me to take her seeing that she is a glutton, but due to the fact that she was coming from. Known source I said I would.

    Since she says she no dey drink garri, she doesn't partake from the suya, fried fish Fiesta, cos the condition is that u must rink garri to qualify.

    I have one very bad ass beans I normally prepare, even if u r not a lover of beans, wen u see it u will eat. My maid saw the bean one day and said, madam, make I take small, I said no way, shebi u no dey chop beans.

    I also prepare one bad ass vegetable with Titus fish, I don't enjoy eating veggies, unless I scatter enough fish on it. The meal is palatable, she says she wants that, I say na Titus dey inside I no. Fit give u.

    When we eat Titus sardine, I give her stew. As per na Titus dey there.

    She has tried to make me change my mind, 3 years after, I ain't backing down.

    She is still with me cos I'm good to her, but as long as she is with me, she ain't drinking garri, eating beans, and sardine etc in my house

    1. U b strong character!! Hahahahaha. Funny u. Abeg how u de make dat ur bad ass beans? Teach a sister biko i de like try new tins

    2. Anon please I think I need cooking lessons from you, your comment just made me jealous.

    3. Lmao! What a good way to step onto the dance floor.

  8. I remember 1 maid a friend got, she told my friend one day that she was tired of eating rice, beans, yam.. That she needs noodles. My friend went to shoprite and bought a carton of dangote noodles and she said she prefers indomie!!!! And even asked that she buys sardine and eggs to go with it. You would treat them like your own and still pay them salary to the extent that some would take you for granted and you would end up doing the work you are paying them to help you do.

  9. Its better to treat them as what they are. Workers.

    When i was searching for a housekeeper, i interviewed about 10 from agency. One came and posted her leg on my outside wall when she was waiting for me.i didnt even bother questioning her. I just asked her to leave.

    Another one that was 3x my size asked for n40k monthly. I asked her if she went to secondary school, she said no. This clown couldnt even read or write, so beyond 2 hours of cleaning daily she was of no use to me.

    I ended up with one that came through a refferal and actually learnt sewing. So after she cleans in the morning she sews. I got her a sewing machine. She has said she wants to go to polytechnic for textile design course, i have told her to save half of her thing is so far she hasnt stolen from me and is generally cooperative.

    She seems ambitious, so i dont mind helping hwr through least that keeps her with me for another 2 to 4 years.

  10. I usually give my maid meat and pomo. Together whenever we eat swallow. (eba, wheat, etc).

    This happens like 80 percent of the time especially when I prepare fresh soup.

    One day, after preparing fresh soup, I decided to put only pomo cos the pomo came in very large chunks.

    After dishing the food, lo and behold, my maid came to me and said madam, you no give me meat.

    I felt that I probably forgot to put anytin in her plate, I went back to check, and there was pomo.

    I asked her a simple question, when you go buy food for mama put, if you buy meat, dem they add free pomo for you?. She said no, she pays for the pomo.

    Since that day, I stopped giving her both.

    1. Lol Clare you answered her back.

      I told mine the other day, if i have to do her job for her, i dont need her. It was a shock for her. I told her she is starting to cost me more than my husband self in terms of feeding. She was begging me.

      I think its the poverty mindset that does them in if not anything else.

    2. LOL! Just negodu how that maid lost a good combo! Your response to her was fantastic!

  11. I stopped giving her both pomo and meat, it's either/or.


  12. We all take a risk letting hiring maids. My husband's friend was robbed last year in his home in Lekki 1. The maid was shot dead. One of the stolen cars was traced to Ibadan. The ringleader was the maid's boyfriend. Only she didn't know he was robber. She let him in. He let his gang in and they killed her. Another friend's maid would bring in a man when she goes to lock the door. Then let him out when madam gives her the key in the mornings. I lock and unlock my door myself. I take my keys with me. I am humane to my maids. She's not my sister but my staff. I let her know there's a line that must not be crossed. The day she wants to leave, she won't remember how kind you were to her. Thank the good Lord for the way my mother raised me. I can do housework. It is women who can't do anything that maids show pepper. I don't need you. I only want you.


    1. Hello Mallama, someone was asking about you just yesterday. Chrisyinks I think. Welcome back!

    2. Thanks Thelma. Went no where. Just been silent. My kids are still sleeping. So this is my me time. Maid stories plenty. Is it the witch, seductress, sex worker, thief, kidnapper, lazy, incompetent one? Let me start with coffee. One of the simple pleasures of life.


    3. Mallama, many of them think we need them and therein lies the problem. And they start acting up. My maid doesnt have access to my house and she is only allowed in when my husband or myself is home. I dont leave my keys around and all doors must stay open when she is cleaning etc. Maids can turn out to be a necessary evil at the end of the day, some make life easier while some are just the devils spawn.

  13. Na wa oh... all this experiences!!!

    God help us.

  14. mouth just dey open as I dey read d comments. Chai!!


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