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He Jinxed It!

I just knew he would so I can't say I'm surprised. 

Guys, early this morning I headed for the dental clinic. I got there by 7am because you know how government owned institutions can be. Everybody wants freebies! At least that's what took me there; awoof. I'd naively believed someone who told me that she had her procedure there and it was neat, the doctors were clean as a whistle and everyone was very professional, but most importantly, it was FREE! She said all I needed to do was ensure that I got there very early so I could be attended to timely, because there's often a large crowd. Well she was right about one thing; large crowd. Everything else begs the question; was she referring to that dental clinic or another one?

First off it cost me way more than I'd have imagined it would, even in a private clinic. In fact, had I not withdrawn some cash to pay for something later on I wouldn't have been able to foot the bill. And then I must tell you about the room you go into to answer some questions and have your oral cavity searched to ascertain the real problem a patient has. When I walked into that room I was assaulted by the stench of a thousand decaying mouths. Damn! It was just the doctor and I but it seems everyone who's ever opened their mouths in that office left the odour there when they were leaving and something traps it in. I've never perceived anything so sickening. 

The lady looked in and then she delivered the news, I didn't have one but three bad teeth, I would need to have 2 removed immediately and I could either remove or refill the third. I thought to myself that at this rate I wouldn't have any teeth anymore. Since the third one isn't so bad yet, and I don't like the idea of refilling my teeth I told her to leave that for now. These people uprooted two of my teeth and it wasn't even funny! 

The dentist was a mean mean woman. She broke my heart because I'd prayed that she would be the one to handle me. I took in her stout frame, the hijab and her unassuming face and I said to myself; she looks very maternal and compassionate, I pray my card ends up in her office. Well as they say, be careful what you wish for. 

This woman treated my mouth like she was operating heavy machinery and drilling soil with rocky formation. She was just puncturing my mouth with the giant needles without any care or patience. When my mouth was well numbed and swollen to the size of a tennis ball, she asked me to go out and wait. Eventually I was ushered back in and she clamped my upper toothe and dragged it out. That one was out in a second. Now my lower tooth... She hammered and tugged and pulled but it wouldn't budge. I was beginning to feel uncomfortable and her elbow was pressed against my chest and I couldn't breathe. I squirmed to get some air and she shoved me further into the reclined chair. Eventually this lady broke my tooth in several pieces and then started bring it out shard by shard. However, some portion was still firmly rooted in the gum and then she brought more equipments to dig it out. Elbow on my chest again I shifted to get air and then she scolded me; "You better stay still before I walk you out of here!" 

Nawa o! Is this how doctors treat patients in Nigeria or is it just the ones that work for the government?

I'd wanted to tell her that if she wasn't doing a shitty job of it we wouldn't have any problems. 

So as you can imagine, two teeth pulled out and one that was shattered like glass inside my mouth, is it any wonder that for the first time I do an extraction I'm actually hurting? And yes, I believe Memphis has something to do with it, I knew he would jinx my extraction experience 😢. 

Well eventually I had to text my dad to come and pick me up, I'd planned to take a cab but seeing as my mouth was swollen shut and leaden with anesthesia, and I don't know sign language, I couldn't take the cab. I'd been very confident that this would be just as easy breezy as the others. 

Well that's it for now. Unfortunately I may not be able to eat a thing today, even water hurts. Once I get home I'm taking Panadol Night and sleeping till tomorrow.

Adieus amigos!

Seriously though, these people want to take all my teeth out. Dang!


  1. Sorry Thelma but I'm curious. You must have extracted a minimum of 3 teeth by now, right? I'm alarmed on your behalf. Hope no further extraction going forward.

    The dentist (more like a carpenter) that extracted mine too was a matronly looking woman who didn't look anything like the havoc she wrecked on my mouth. The government hospital where she worked was on strike then so I had to do it at her home. Analgesic didn't work a bit and I felt as if my head was triple its size afterwards. Had to do a sign language to the okada rider that took me back to my mum's shop

    That was almost 15 years ago and since then I have not extracted another. I pray never again.


    1. This should be the 4th or 5th. I'm certain the one I extract next would be the last. Hopefully this new diet becomes a lifestyle and I don't have to worry about Ebeano popcorn and chocolates ruining the remaining ones.

    2. My own extraction was worse. I removed 2 but it was hell on earth. D dkept on telling me he isn't doing anything meanwhile he was hammering my tooth. I cried uncontrollably truout d removal. Post removal was worse. My jaw was stiffened n swollen. Cudnt part my jaw to eat. I tuk only pap for a whole week. I wouldn't wish my enemy to go through the pains I went through.

    3. Forgot to say i was told to pay the cashier for one tooth removal then give dem the money for the other tooth which was shared among them. Nigerians n corruption

    4. You will get better very soon and forget the pain for sure..
      Gosh, remembered when I had to take my Tooth out, first year in uni, kai, I went to students clinic, met this very young fine dentist, in my mind I was like Kai, he would definitely treat me right with care and compassion, but whosaii!!, once I entered his office, layed down, see the way he just chooked the injection in my gum, in my mind I was like hian abeg oo!!
      Oya time for extraction naa, this guy turn to warrior on top my tooth ooo, as he was removing it naa, me I grabbed his hand oo, as I couldn't talk I entered cry, this wicked dentist now commanded his assistant warrior to hold my hand still, eeeh Jesus, I've never cried like that before, as soon as he finished removing it, I started laughing at myself and tears were still coming down at the same time..lool, they then started laughing at me and said pick one, it's either you laugh or you cry, mscheeew...I was really confused as to what to do.

  2. awww sorry babe. that lady dokita must have been jealox of you. lol

    get better.


  3. Na wa o! What kind of doctor is that sef with all the attitude!
    Sorry you hear?

  4. Lols,did u take a selfie??? (before.during and after shots).

    1. A selfie won't be a bad idea. Post them on Instagram and ish..LMAO. Cray U!

  5. Eya, sorry thelms. It isn't a small somethings. Salt and water solution helps with d pain and healing process.. U shld start that 2mao if u can..

    Hey guys..been a while.

    BV @ Mallama, ina gaisuwa..

    1. Yaya de Eesah....ka dawo lafia ko?TNHW

    2. Hmmmm. EASAH is this you? Ok o! The rest of the month would be great.

      Thanks guys, I'm actually A-ok right now. No pain whatsoever, still can't eat 'cause the openings are still fresh but I'm doing very fine. By tomorrow the extractions would be totally forgotten.

    3. Eesah, na amsa. Thelma, I'm cringing. I hope the equipment was sterilized. Not that you'll need HIV test four months from now.


  6. That doctor sef! Sorry T..inugo?

  7. Eyaa,sorry T,most government doctors and nurses are mean,why? I dunno

  8. Chai sorry T...memphis see what u caused lol

  9. Ha! For Thelms to lament like this, then that doctor must have been very mean...sorry dear and Memphis hmmm *side eyes*

  10. Awww Pele Thelma... The day I extracted mine,the dentist was a young guy, dude actually flirted with me only for me to enter the room and meet him there...He was actually gently....but no more extractions for me...That feeling I don't want to have....TNHW

  11. Kai Kai Kai...Thelma. Lmao. The jinx must be from someplace else o, not me. Lol

    Sasha bone, lmao, you're not a nice friend. Selfie ke? Try walking in those shoes... :D

    Thelma just go to a good chemist store and request for the same drug you received during the operation, tablets. That's what my dentist prescribed for me then and with the proper administration of the drug you won't feel any pain till your wounds heel. Get well soon dear.

    1. Winchi winchi Memphis *tongue out*

      Thelma jare, pele. I have two big holes in my teeth but I'm afraid to go to the dentist cos the last time was not funny. The guy injected me like 3times but i felt every tug and pull. To make matters worse, mama Kabuoy just thought i was being a big baby so she kept shushing me. But i didnt feel any pain whatsoever after the extraction.

  12. Thelma ohhh. Never look for a healthcare bargain. Its almost never worth it. I remember when i was looking for an orthodontist to do my braces in Dubai. The Arab doctors were mid-range, Filipinos were the cheapest. I found my orthodontist he cost 2x as much as the Filipinos. I had to do a payment plan. I chose the orthodontist because he was American and understood compassion- and he would talk about college days etc while tightening my braces. Which is possibly the worst pain one can experience and i had to do it every 2 weeks. I lost 20pounds in 3 months because of the pain and opening my mouth to eat , but i always looked forward to going to see the DR.

    Thelma take it easy and just get some rest. If you need a dental recommendation, i have a good one in Ikeja. He has a state of the art clinic and doesnt give me armed robber bills like the island clinics tend to do.

  13. Hopefully, I'll forever remain clueless to the great pain I imagine every time I hear and see sufferings from tooth ache.
    Thelma Ndo inu.

  14. Ndo ooh Thelma..such an unpleasant experience!
    D day I removed my tooth is one day in my life I wish to be wiped off my memory. I cried half of the day(post-pain). You'll be fine dear.

  15. Sorry T,cant imagine the horror of the 2nd teeth extraction. dint know it's possible to remove more than a teeth in a day sef*surprised look* I once had 4 bad teeth & had them removed every 2 weeks.even refilling d teeth on a side was filled once and the other side a week wa oo,thanks for warning ahead,government hospital will be my last stop for dental care.

  16. Sorry Thelma, you'll feel better. I believe the mean dentist contributed to your pain. Thankfully I have never had to extract a tooth. Praying you feel better soon.

  17. Literally cringing. Email me for toothpaste recommendations. U can't quote me but it saved my bro further extractions after he lost 4 teeth. He had a sweet tooth like u.. pls lay off d sugar. Ndo
    Dr. N

    1. Thanks Dr N, I'll shoot you an email, I really need all the help I can get before I have only gum left. Especially if I can avoid taking the next one out..

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