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He Told Me He Will Never Marry Someone As Ugly As Me.


I met my 'husband' while working as a sales girl in Idumota. He always frequented our shop because of me and each time he came he would always tell me how much he loves me and wants to marry me. I liked him too and we started dating. I got pregnant for him and moved in with him and he promised to marry me and pay my bride price. 

He kept postponing the marriage and each time I ask him, he would say there is no money for that now and once money comes we would get married. We kept living together peacefully till he suddenly changed, abuses me any opportunity he gets. he told me he will never marry someone as ugly as me. 

     He got married to another woman and brought her home and they made life unbearable for me and my kids, I kept enduring hoping things would get better but he just threw us out from his house. We've been sleeping outside since then. The only thing I was able to pack was the clothes I spread on the grass over there and the ones inside the white nylon. 

Sometimes I start laughing at myself then I begin to cry. I'm so ashamed I never thought this was how my life would end up. I'm an NCE holder, I had plans and now I'm sitting here not knowing where the next meal will come from."




-Humans of Lagos. 

***

I read this on the humans of Lagos page and once again the anger I sometimes feel towards the entire (yes, entire.) male sex began to stir within in. I'm getting sick just hearing stories, on a daily (yes, daily {LOL} ) basis of how one man or the other trampled upon women's hearts. But I'm also getting sick of us women and our victim mentality. At some point we need to begin to acknowledge the roles we played in our own (heartbreak) and take responsibility for them, and also learn from the experience. I empathize with the woman above. The Humans of Lagos did mention that if anyone has something she can do, an opening for domestic work perhaps, they should reach out to them. 


But, people, you know whom I resent in this story the most? The woman who moved into a home of another woman... A lot of women do this. Just... WHY?

Comments

  1. Can you see just how oblivious of the situation the children are?

    This is why I advocate for women to be financially independent and have the number of children they can take care of in case of the husband's incapability to make financial contributions - either as a result of death, loss of job or this heartless act.

    -F

    ReplyDelete
  2. pls Tee maybe I was away when he reached out or I didn't read the post. Pls just clear this from my head..,WHERE IS MR WALE?
    Why doesn't he comment anymore? Is it work stress? He changed name? Did we get him angry? His wife wasn't comfortable anymore? Travelled ? Why am I worried sef? Dunno.

    But I need to know. Thanks

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lmao. Your questions though! Wale is doing fine. We talk occasionally, spoke to him some days ago. He's been off the internet for sometime and will continue to be, for a while longer. But, he will be back. A while back he said I should greet everyone, and asked about Memphis, Sasha, Kabuoy, Sunshine etc. He does miss us but hey, sometimes we need to take time off...
      Blink you're a darling for asking. But I'm not surprised, you've got the heart of an angel. Hugs&kisses Baby!

      Delete
    2. Awwwwww Tee be making me wanna cry, I wish I could go to cold stone outlet, show them this comment that am an angel, Bam! they give me icecream without pay. I only wish

      Reality- thank Goodness he is safe. Warm regards to him when next he calls.

      Delete
    3. Officially in love with blink

      Delete
    4. Blink ehn... loool @ the coldstone part.

      Meanwhile... Tee, the next time you speak with Wale, help us tell him that anytime Sunshine sees an intelligent 40 somfn year old man... she begins to wonder if he is Wale or not. loool. I don't understand the babe sometimes.
      And that we miss him too. *hugs*

      Delete
    5. Anon Dalu Nna/nne
      @ kabouy I just deye laff myself here

      Delete
  3. @blink sweerie wasap,u stl owe me an Abuja getaway

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mon sucre pas de problème. laissez-moi savoir quand vous êtes prêt.

      Delete
  4. Oh mami....This broke my heart....**grabs breasts in anguish** buh you know eh...you can't fault that woman who came into her home...At the end of the day mami, you need to look to the man...Grrr...I hate playing the blame card buh mehnnnnnnnn how did this lady above sit back and watch another woman come into her home? I mean, I am trying to understand this whole situation...buh nope! No blame card today mehn.... **sigh** I really don't know what to say...I just wish her all the best **sad face**

    Psst...Hey mami...Thanks for stopping by **big teddy hug**

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @ Erniesha: a lot of women come into the home of other women and that's the reality of things here in Nigeria (and some parts of Africa).

      What can she do, fight the other woman? Or face her two timing arse hole of a husband.
      Most men get away with this because society and culture allows them to.

      If a man knows that half of what he owns will go to the wife he plans to leave, he would probably just maintain a mistress outside than do so.

      It's such a shame thaat this woman fell for the saame trap most women fall for.

      If a guy really wants to marry you, he will. Besides you don't need millions to marry, for starters you can make it official by going to the registry.

      The lady should take those kids to the village, plead with her mother to keep them. While she gets a job to support them and as well as go to the Lagos state social service office, the yeye husband should provide for his kids.

      Delete
    2. Erniesha thank you too hunnay! But we're going to have to stop thanking each other nau. I don't come because I'm doing you a favour but because I really do enjoy the visits, so you see no thanks needed! Hugsss

      Delete
  5. I am sorry to say this but we women should stop being 'free' wives! the other woman who moved in might have been told a different story by d yeye man in d first place! This woman too where is her family? My younger sister is leaving with a man who is not her husband ryt now and I dey tell am......let me just leave it there....God should just have mercy on the children...if this woman baff up now with all those front assets she get so she no go fine? ....abegi I tire......#JoyDaNuGirl

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This right here is the truth, co-habitation is not advisable at all but when elders talk we will think we are wiser. You will stay with a man before you know it, you will born one, born two, born three without any legal rights, no one can even help you because no child support to my knowledge in these parts except the man wants to. Women let us give ourselves sense.

      Delete
  6. This is the issue I have with us women, unless you marry a man that genuinely is concerned about your welfare and that of his kids, then I advise you draw your ears and advise you self.
    A man that does not have money to pay your bride price. Where will he find money to pay school fees talk less of feeding children.

    If the first one was a mistake why not prevent having more kids. Local primary healthcare centres give free family planing support.

    It pains me deeply cos in my line of work I get to meet so many people, women especially with their "stories that touch"

    We usually are the architects of our misfortune more often than not. Giving wifely benefits to a man who has not paid your bride price. Now you remember you have NCE.

    The NCE certificate didn't give you wisdom when you were spreading legs and getting pounded abi.

    She should pack her bags and go to the village, find a roof for those innocent children before they turn to street urchins.

    As for the useless man that abandoned his kids, may the devil anoint that ur dick and cause u impotent, you can't abandon these ones and keep pouring more semen to produce more kids.

    Women, women and their fish brains.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Really though, this woman is to blame. For starters, I know that every mother teaches their children especially the girls not to spread their legs for any man until they are married, her first mistake was throwing that advise into the wind and spreading her legs before he put a ring on it. Her second mistake was moving in with him just because she got pregnant. Pregnancy doesn't guarantee that a man will stay with you!

    I'm sorry for her predicament but sometimes we are the architects of our own misfortunes and in this case, she walked into this problem by herself.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I am very passionate about girls, ladies, women(whatever category you belong to) keeping themselves before marriage... I believe strongly in leaving the bed undefiled and not putting the cart before the horse(by getting pregnant first before marriage or cohabiting before marriage.

    But let's face it... the fact that we know the right thing doesn't mean we do it. Everybody makes mistakes, albeit expensive ones. Not everyone is privy to the information you have and since I discovered that not everyone is/was fortunate enough to be brought up the way I was brought up, iv learnt to stop judging people harshly based on my principles and beliefs.

    That said, the fact that the woman got pregnant for the man before he put a ring on it doesn't make her a terrible/stupid person. She made a mistake that a good number of people have made(are still making).. some were luck enough to get away with it... she wasn't! So Sunshine and her anon partner-in-judgment, go easy on her abeg...
    I just feel really bad when I see women in such terrible situation. It breaks my heart. And the man responsible for this... his reward is here o earth and if he doesn't do the required restitution, it will continue after... eniyan buburu like him. How do you throw your kids in the street like that? Just how?!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I officially heart you kabuoy! This your comment from the intro to the end is a beauty to me.

      Delete
  9. As for me there is no UGLY person! Everyone has different taste! You can make sure reading https://kovla.com/blog/he-married-her-top-15-ugly-celebrity-spouses/ . This article can change your mind about the beauty and you must know that everybody can find their love!) Good luck)

    ReplyDelete

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