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Malay Malay- By Anonymous Rider.

This Post does not represent the views of the author. Neither is it directed at anyone living or dead but if you think it’s a shade or you can identify. Oh Well.

It was only normal that I started avoiding "When I was in Malaysia’s" Calls. Are you wondering if that is somebody’s name? Please wonder no more but for the purpose of this post let’s call him Malay. 

Malay and I met at a conference for Entrepreneurs about three months ago and we had to sit next to each other for the one week the conference lasted and naturally we got talking, then I found out we lived close to each other and when he offered to drop me home, I obliged. My name is Maria I’m single, available and I’m not snobbish.

On the way home to the Yaba Axis from Lekki, Malay said ‘When I was in Malaysia this kind of traffic never happens’ I said 'Don’t worry you will soon get used to it, We Lagosians are used to it'. Me I was feeling sorry for him as an ‘I Just got back’. The Gala hawkers, Drink sellers, Cars, People, Posters and every thing on third mainland bridge was likened to the People, way of life and living in Malaysia.

We talked about life, work, family relationships and what not and generally he was fun to be with. The only snag was every sentence started or ended with ‘When I was in Malaysia’’I kid you not but it can be likened to when Doctor Nick Idoho on Rainbow FM’s Morning Show keeps saying says ‘’You Know’’ in every sentence.  

I was glad the conference was over and I would hear less of ‘When I was in Malaysia’’ but that was not the case, he called me the evening after the conference to say he liked me and wouldn’t mind if we kept hanging out because I reminded him of a sweet girl he met ‘’When he was in Malaysia’’.

Malay and Maria agreed to go see a movie at the Cinemas and all Malay did the first few minutes on a first date was compare the cinema to the one he visited ‘’When he was in Malaysia’’. He always did most of the talking and that was the straw that broke the Camel’s back ending the relationship that never started. 

I can only hope that with the new political climate, his pick up line will change. I tried to mention it to him but he found a way to blame it on the Nigerian Economy. I’m not Jealous of him and I’ve never been to Malaysia. I just wish he would talk less about the place he visited just once over five years ago.

Dear Friends, What are your thoughts on this;
How much is too much and How do you deal with this kind of people?
What’s the worst repetitive line you keep hearing from someone?
What should you discuss on a first date?

My thoughts are all over the place but I hope some of you can relate and give me feedback. Thank you.


Thanks Anon. BVs take a leaf and keep the submissions coming. Muah!

*I talk to Wale occasionally and although he hasn't visited the blog in a while (we all get to that point where we need time off the Internet to focus on life), he says to greet you all, especially Memphis, Sasha bone, Kabuoy & Sunshine, HSF, Nubian Princess, TNHW and others I cannot really remember. Wale said he misses us and I miss him on the blog so terribly *sobs*. Can't wait to have him back!


  1. How much is too? I think there should always be room for tolerance. But when someone begins to make you feel like you might either tear your ears off or scratch their eyes out, it's time to slowly walk away.

    Most repetitive line I've heard someone say; "when I was married...". By a 20 something year old who got married at 24 and divorced at 25 and wanted the whole world to know that she was once married. I think she thinks it makes her look interesting to people... It probably does but still hearing it over and over again makes me want to retch.

    First date- "So how many children do you think we should have?" LOL. #kidding. First date; family, work, career, last relationship (how it ended but no intimate details please), world views, current affairs, hobbies, interests, travel experiences, goals, accomplishments (without sounding smug or arrogant), movies, music, friends etc.
    I think we should treat what NOT to talk about on the first date. For instance please do NOT talk about your problems on the first date. Don't talk about your financial problems, the boss that hates you, the rash you just found on your inner thighs, how many haters you have, the quarel you had with your friend, the spirit chasing the people in your family, the ten time you've been denied US visa etc

    And note to youngens, beware of that question; "So tell me the craziest thing you've ever done". Guys ask this sounding all fun and innocent, but the answer you give determines the course of the rest of your relationship. He's trying to find out 'is she take home to momma?' or 'a hoe that's about to be my next fling'. He may be smiling encouragingly and acting all non-judgmental but please, be wise.

    1. Anonymous Rider!8:33 am, April 16, 2015

      Nodding my head in agreement.

  2. Thelma, "El O El" at the last paragraph. Good advise to those that will harken unto it.

    Also may I add, don't talk about body counts. Even if the guy ends up marrying you, one day, one day it will be used against you if it only one, two or twenty.

    The silliest repetitive line I have been nagged with is "shey you get me"

    The guy didn't just stop at that, he will also tap you to get his gist even if his last line was/is not relevant.

  3. Could not stop laughing.... If I were the one,I would just for jokingly put words like 'when I was in Ikeja'at the end of my own statement.... I used to have a friend like that too,he would say when I was in America.... I just think they don't do it deliberately.... I dislike it when someone says 'you know' or 'as in'....TNHW

  4. Lols,i don't blame the dude o,cos I knw that the day I visit UK,u all wld hear my "innit" accent even thru this blog. Lol.

    1. Lol@@yetunde. u sure know how to handle such people..
      all those fake innit UK people..dat don't know how and when to use such in how are u..innit?..original word na "ain't it"..dem don remix am. its only nigerians here in uk dat murder the word. Lol

  5. Ask him how many kidneys he has left. Lol. Malaysia of all places. Abeg bros should shift.
    God forbid he enters America or the UK or Switzerland, its over.

    Sasha - innit isnt it oh. Better leave that to the london agberos.

    1. Anonymous Rider!8:34 am, April 16, 2015

      Yepaaaaa, Abi Bros has sold his Kidini. Lol

    2. Hahaha..funny pynk. AbI o!..dat was my first impression. Malaysia kwa??..
      na serious London agberos dey use dat word o! irritates me weneva I hear such. Sasha biko don't be deceived..we love u. Ure more tush than that.

  6. Dear God!!! U endured all this? LMSAO!

    I for don shut am up oh. Anyway, 1st date gist to me should be about Us, surface level info only...

    Most repetitive line I've heard: "Is that not so?"

  7. Loool.

    The funniest that I can remember is the very eccentric Dr. Sola's "i mean, you know, I don't know" all in one sentence. With a confused look. That man is the funniest/weirdest lecturer ever. I can't forget him.

  8. Most repetive sentence i've heard is "Shey u get"
    I have a friend who puts that at the end of every sentence. I always nod to indicate that "I get" whether I get or not.

  9. Believe me, a lot of people do this without realizing it...


  10. Laughing real hard.

    "When I was working with Etisalat". "When I was with BAT". "When I was working with Accenture..." The same guy o. He never stopped mentioning these companies to our hearing in EVERY MEETING! *shaking my head*


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