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Poll: Complimenting Someone Of The Opposite Sex in Bae's Presence. Yayor Nay?







Hey guys, my friends seem to have turned you into panelists. Last weekend when I mentioned artificial insemination, one said "just tell your readers and hear what they will tell you" and this evening another said "please help me ask your readers because I need answers".
(Oh I should also include that another darling friend of mine also wants me to do a post on an issue we're having, on the blog. She says to ask your opinions so that we can know who is right and who's wrong. She says if majority of you decide that she's wrong then she'll apologize to me. And if you decide that I'm wrong then she can gloat and say "I told you so").



This is our chat from earlier today. I blurred my side of the convo because I'm not going to post this issue on the blog for now. I already know I'm right. *tongue out*. I wish I could upload the voice note, she would really really really love to hear your thoughts on our matter, babe is so sure you will side with her. SMH. Well, that's topic for another day. 


So, back to this post. Another friend called me this evening, all irate and indignant. She said its date night with the boo and while waiting in line for their movie tickets some chica was standing beside them, trying to get a ticket as well. Her boo, turned to the lady and said "Hey, you look really nice". Lady said thank you and smiled at them both. 

Now this singular act ruined the night for my friend and a simple apology and an admission that he was wrong would improve the mood. However, bae insists that he was just passing a compliment and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Do you agree?

My friend thinks it's wrong on so many levels. Bobo thinks it's innocent, he saw a nice looking lady and merely told her so. He argues that passing compliments is a good way to boost people's egos, and that if he had any "impure" intentions then he would not compliment the lady in her presence, and even flirt a bit. My friend counter-argues that that's what makes it so wrong; complimenting another chic in her presence, so disrespectful!


Please my dear panelists blog readers , is passing a compliment to the member of the opposite sex (who's in the same age bracket as your SO) in the presence of your significant other acceptable or unacceptable? 


This moody couple awaits results. 



***
Photo source; www.pixgood.com

Comments

  1. Hehe. Err...it's complicated. The fact the guy complimented the lady doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't have *impure* intensions. Adi a ma ama (we no de know finish).

    Although he should've calmed his girl abit. He's talking about boosting egos whereas that of his girl is battered by his *complicated* action. Nothing wrong with complimenting someone of the opposite sex but...again...we no de know the intention finish.
    Let your friend just let it slide. It's not supposed to be that serious but...hehe

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Memphis you're so right, he's boosting someone's ego while shattering his woman's own. I believe he doesn't have ulterior motives but he should have been more sensitive. Meanwhile T please what is the scoop of you n your friend? The fact that u don't want to tell us the details already tells me that your guilty. But ur free to prove me wrong

      Delete
    2. Pls let me remind u that his intensions doesn't matter here, the question is weda his actions were right or wrong, and complementing another obviously hot chic in front of Bae is all shades of wrong! Weda ur intension is to win her soul for the kingdom of God.

      Delete
    3. Lmaooo @ "Weda ur intention is to win her soul for the kingdom of God"

      Queen dey para! Hahahahahaa!

      Delete
    4. The guy could mean well but he was just too selfish to look beyond his own personal convictions and respect the fact he has someone (who is supposed to be) special.

      And why do I feel he purposely did that to get at her, playfully I don't know. Cos dis shouldn't be their first time out on a date.

      Delete
    5. Hahaha. Queen has it happened to you before? No vex, just retaliate next time, you'll feel better. *wink*

      Delete
    6. Hahaaa! Noo t hasn't happened to me b4, I just don't like d way we always try to 'logicalize' some facts

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. On a second thought it is not so bad, depending on their level of communication and I also feel the guy did not handle the situation well. He ought to have talk his "no strings attached " line over with his SO.

      Delete
  3. I once complimented a guy in front of Boo, cos his hat, was very cool. I said, "I like you hat".

    My (Boo), now hubby, almost had a cardiac arrest. . I didn't think it was a big deal but he didn't like it one bit. I apologised and moved on.

    I later analysed the issue on my own and realised it's really "not fair" (for want of a better word) to put your SO in such a situation. Now, if thje person in question were to be a mutual friend or a known buddy, all well and good. But to compliment a total stranger of the opposite sex. H$mmmmm. Abeg just think and talk am for your mind.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I once complimented a guy in front of Boo, cos his hat, was very cool. I said, "I like you hat".

    My (Boo), now hubby, almost had a cardiac arrest. . I didn't think it was a big deal but he didn't like it one bit. I apologised and moved on.

    I later analysed the issue on my own and realised it's really "not fair" (for want of a better word) to put your SO in such a situation. Now, if thje person in question were to be a mutual friend or a known buddy, all well and good. But to compliment a total stranger of the opposite sex. H$mmmmm. Abeg just think and talk am for your mind.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with you on the last paragraph.

      Delete
  5. Depends on the level of communication/ friendship o, and the people involved. Thing is, know your partner. If I saw a guy wearing something nice, I will rather turn to my SO and say; that guy's shoe is fine o. We analyze it and that's all. Errrrm, if a girl dresses well, yea he can also tell me. But he is never allowed to admire her physique biko. #side eyes# let him leave that one for when he is alone, while I admire the 6packs when I'm alone...heheeheh. Thelma let your friend let it slide sha. Now the message has been passed. The guy didn't handle the matter well, but now he knows he must keep his neck and head straight @ all times when he is with Chica.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Uhmmmmm.... Fire and brimestone...what!!!! Compliment another girl in my presence? I would only let it slide if he had bn complimenting me every minute since we started dating o. Then i would knw he has compulsive compliment curse. If not u will follow dat girl home. That is soo unfair, disrespectful and inconsiderate to say d least. What if the girl had seen a guy and said i can die for your abs with d abless bf there? How would he have let dat slide? Please oo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SB chop kiss...am so with you on this one....TNHW

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    2. "... Then i would knw he has compulsive compliment curse" lmaoooo! SB!

      Delete
  7. Men and their egos. I don't want trouble. If the guy looks like Will Smith, I will use corner eye to look. I can't compliment a man in front of my husband. Unless this person has lost a lot of weight but still isn't slimmer than DH. DH must have the upper hand. Understanding and respecting a man's ego, is imperative. I remember seeing this well dressed and good looking guy. I drank in the view then looked the other way. Some fights aren't necessary.

    Mallama

    ReplyDelete
  8. The guy isn't smart. he would have said "you really look nice" and when the girl is smiling he will add "but not as sexy as my babe here" and then wink at his babe after planting a light kiss on her neck. that one will break any ice already forming in his girlfriend's heart. Badt guys always cover up their flaws with a flawless act.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lols,its like u knw them well...lol

      Delete
    2. Bloggitup, Wetin Na? Stop oh... You don't have to leak confidential tactics like dis for free.

      Delete
    3. Uyi,My brother of life.*hugs*

      Delete
    4. If i were the girl he's telling u really look nice but not as nice as my babe here. I would reply " who asked u?" Because then the man is for no reason comparing u to his girlfrend and telling u his girl looks better. So i would take it personal. On d alternative, can't d guy jst shut up and go watch his movie???

      Delete
    5. Na body dey shack am now. he was prolly high on popcorn and pet coke.

      Delete
  9. As for your friend that you are having issues with, she must really trust the integrity and objectivity of the blog readers seeing as most of us might be inclined to take sides with you. I guess we should give ourselves a round of applause for being objective when it matters most.

    To the issue at hand, several questions arise:

    Does passing a compliment to another of the same gender as SO in the presence of your SO mean one has no impure intentions? Maybe yes

    Does passing a compliment to another of the same gender as SO in the presence of SO connote disrespect?
    Sometimes Yes

    There isn't a right or wrong answer here as several other contributing factor weigh in here like: how he said such compliment, did he go out of his way to make such compliment, did he or has he passed similar compliments to SO when she dressed equally well, the emotional frame of SO at that point in time, was he aware that she might not take too lightly of such acts etc, the list is seemingly endless. Nonetheless, I must say this that it'd be an herculean task trying to build a relationship on rules, code of conduct or guidelines no matter how noble these seem. There is a reason it is called a relationship - it is emotional, thus meant to defy logic and rational explanation, albeit this defiance must be wisely.

    I think an apology by him would have been the right thing to do not because he was wrong but for the relationship. Also bae should learn how to trust him especially if he hasn't shown any reason to prove otherwise. She can also use the opportunity to learn of what he appreciates in a woman's taste and choice of dressing.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Nothing wrong with it but then again it depends on how well you know ur bae,what he/she likes and doesn't
    The lady should learn to trust her bae thou
    The guy should apologise and compliment her more amd instead of arguing with her he should have just covered up with compliment

    ReplyDelete
  11. How flipping rude! Chai there is no angle where what he did was right at all!!! I asked hubby and he agreed that it's absolutely ridiculous. He needs to apologise.....

    ReplyDelete
  12. As For Me, I'll compliment Everyone, both guys & girls anywhere BUT if I'm with My Special Someone,
    I'll compliment ladies if she looks extraordinary but will "Unlook" guys biko!
    I can't disrespect my man like that.
    & Any man that does that in my presence should be ready to listen to 10 compliments from me to other guys on that day or watch me go home!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hehe. Sounds like a planned revenge mission. What if your SO didn't actually mean any harm? All you'll be doing is boiling water on ice with your compliments.

      Delete
    2. What matters is I'll feel better at the end...

      Delete
    3. It depends on the comms level btw bae n boo. I won't judge but I feel the guy should also put himself in bae's shoes n His reaction will speak better. I believe this is where Trust comes to play in a relationship. ur friend should check herself and her trust level..if it's lacking then there's a problem.

      Delete
  13. My comment keeps disappearing o. Reverse compliment is the best. Tell you SO, "I like that guy's shirt" "did you perceive that? I love the perfume". There are compliments I don't mind e.g If my SO tells another lady "I love your shoes" (that shoe must be nice o). Who made him an ego boosting ambassador ?
    As for me if this happens to me I will bone. In a week's time i'll do my own ego boosting compliment and trust me it pains guys more. J

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahahahaa @ ego boosting ambassador! U people wie noh kill me today! Lmao!

      Delete
    2. Ha!!! it would even cost him a hole in his pocket if its a particular tin the girl has on that he complimented o. Because i must make sure i drag him to where ever that tin is sold and he must buy it for me so that he will always see that tin on me that he loved so much that he had to disrespect me like that. If he summarises the compliment and just tells her she looks nice, then that is a different trouble.

      Delete
  14. Most things don't move me but this will, especially if he didn't compliment me that day, will just agree it was thoughtless, he should apologize and let it slide.

    ReplyDelete
  15. This is one of those keep your thoughts to yourself scenarios. Even if its Halle Berry standing in front of you, if you utter a word of compliment you are sleeping outside the house. If i say "OMG halle is hot" the guy can say "she isnt bad looking ".

    Beyond that, anything is funny.

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous Rider!1:24 pm, April 11, 2015

    Personally I do not think it is wrong. It's just a freaking compliment. Doesnt mean he's hitting on her, He's my man. Throwing tantrums may come off as insecure. if it were me i will smile back or even turn it into a joke, Oga are you sure its not yansh you are looking at. If he didnt compliment you that day, Abi he has been doing that before. Dont create issues were there are none jare.
    Maybe you are not even dressing fine and he wants you to step up and hes throwing a shade indirectly. Lets not be thinking one way abeg.
    If you like see an ugly man when you get out of the movies and say you look like Denzel, Na you sabi!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No one says it meant he was hitting on her, it was just plain disrespectful biko let's call a spade a spade my dear.

      Delete
  17. In this context, the guy's action was wrong; disrespectful. That might not be the guy's intention but it was what it was.

    -F

    ReplyDelete

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