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Will a Man Propose Twice? Should I Take a Step Back and Wait?...






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I'm now 32years old and I got pregnant after being with my boyfriend for 3 years. It wasn't planned but he received the news well and much to my surprise, he proposed to me a month after. We love each other but we had been having arguments as to why he hadn't popped the question for at least 6months prior and he always said he "of course would marry me but when the time is right." As much as I have been waiting for this moment, I can't help but think it as circumstantial (as a result of the pregnancy) and I'm not sure if I should go ahead and marry him since he never enthusiastically did it up until now. I told my mother and she told me to pray but her honest opinion would be for me to have the baby first since the last few months I had been unhappy with him dragging his feet. 

Is there something about raising children with their "father" that gives them a better chance. Will the child change him? I'm no spring chicken but I'm seriously considering breaking off the engagement until after the baby and hope he will "propose" again! Am I silly? Will a man propose twice? Should I be thinking of my child being born into a united family or take a step back and wait? 


***
This if from today's Tuesday Chic-chat with @conniegirlswag (check her out on Instagram). She started this post by asking; Do children need to be raised by a "father" to have a fighting chance at life? Or is it societal propaganda that makes people for example, stay in unhappy relationships "for the sake of the kids".

While that's a factor present in this post, that's not all. The actual issue is just as the poster ended it; "I'm no spring chicken but I'm seriously considering breaking off the engagement until after the baby and hope he will "propose" again! Am I silly? Will a man propose twice? Should I be thinking of my child being born into a united family or take a step back and wait?" 

What do you think?

Comments

  1. Breakup if u wanna breakup biko. The choice is urs.
    There are kids whose father abandoned them and went off with another woman,there are some who died off early in the marriage,there are some too busy chasing money round the world to be dad's to their kids,etc. The same society that praises the strength of single mums are suddenly now saying nkewa nkewa about the absence of father figure bla bla.
    The moral of my comment is: screw society. They always hv something to say...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @ Sasha bone, love your comment. LOL

      Delete
    2. @ Sasha bone, love your comment. LOL

      Delete
  2. Anonymous Rider!1:40 pm, April 28, 2015

    Yes, He could propose again. But then he may not. He could cherish you more after you birth the baby or e fit enter see finish syndrome. The ball is in your court really, If you feel like you can spend the rest of your life with him, A lot of men drag feet this days and need something to jump start them.
    XXX On a lighter note, My right arm has been hurting from sleep cuddling. Please I'm looking for that sleeping position you posted a while back. Oga wants me to be gumming body to sleep, Me i dont buy the idea afterall we in the same bed and im not running away, Hian he said im not romantic o. Truth is i'm a light sleeper and dont like to disturb him by turning n adjusting. He say No you are not disturbing put head for chest,wrap leg together. Not so my thing but i see it makes him happy. Biko help me find that pic.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Am a bit confused. Does the fact that he didn't pop the question when she wanted him to erase the fact that they love each other? What happened to the love? How come its all about fathering the child and not above the feelings they have for each other? Just because a man doesn't propose when you expect him to doesn't mean he doesn't love you or wasn't going to propose. Plus there are several guys who prefer to be a baby's daddy to a husband just because their girlfriends got pregnant. Sister needs to check herself methinks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank Lifetitudes. This was my response to the woman; I can honestly say I understand where the lady is coming from, she's not second guessing the boo or the relationship but the motive behind the proposal. I think I'd do the same too. But there's mutual love and respect and over all it's been a good relationship. So stop looking for what's not there and enjoy what's there. What she's doing is akin to shunning a gift (or an opportunity) that you've prayed for for so long, just because it didn't come in the wrapping paper that you had expected. Tsk tsk. And speaking of opportunity and hoping for a second proposal, you know what they sometimes say; "opportunity comes, but once". Madam, be guided.

      Delete
  4. I think the lady's fear is that the guy proposed to her because she got pregnant and not because of he really wanted to thus the need for validation by waiting till she gives birth. My take is only she the real state of the relationship and can decide ultimately.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think so too but I also think the guy loves her but has been waiting for her to get pregnant before proposing.Some guys from my tribe reason along this line too.Please poster don't worry yourself about the timing of the proposal,what you should be concerned about is if his love for you still stands.

      Delete
  5. Hmmmmmmm.......I wanted to take a seat and take my snuff on this one. This is a double-edged sword that could swing any way.

    ReplyDelete
  6. What is the worse that can happen???? Girl, live life and stop thinking too much...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Uhhhhhhh and that is the problem with some of us ladies....Grrrr...mami, focus on what you have now...relax, EVERYTHING always fall into place.....**covers face** Not to sound mean tho' buh are you seriously hoping he will propose again when you break off this engagement with him?? Grrrr

    ReplyDelete
  8. I think she's over-thinking the issue. The guy could have chosen to bolt when she became pregnant but he didn't. Appears to me he considers her a possible wife. If a man is determined not to marry a woman, pregnancy alone cannot make him rescind his action.

    Meanwhile, in respect of a child having a father in his/her life, I have seen a lot of situations where the father is more of a curse than a blessing to his children.

    -F

    ReplyDelete
  9. ..With all the comments above , I believe the poster will be convinced as to the decision to make.

    ReplyDelete
  10. You r 32 and see person wey won marry u on top belle, u dey talk of breakup. Oya break up now, na u go soon break down. By then, the bobo go dey dance break dance. lol.

    Thelma Thelma, its been ages. Guess who..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Where do you want me to start guessing from? You didn't even say if you're human or robot, male or female, black or yellow, tall or short, friend or foe, nigerian or foreign. Nawa for you o!

      Delete
    2. That was a break for me.... lmao

      Delete

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