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A Round Of Applause For Baby Mamaism.


You know, I'm somewhat liberal. Yet even I saw this post yesterday and did a double take. 



It's possible I'm not seeing the full picture. Also, some argue that Dele Momodu was cunningly trying to let the world know that Davido is the father of the child, just in case he tries to deny this at a letter date, thus writing their names in capital letters...

Still, have times and things really changed to the point where a child is born out of wedlock, fathered by someone barely out of his teens, and the elders publicly applaud them?

I've been staring at this post and trying to make sense of it. Another nagging question is; if the father was some unknown nobody, would Dele Momodu proudly celebrate this baby? Or does Davido "Omo baba olowo" Adeleke being the father, change everything?

Anyways, I wonder about baby-mamaism. What's happening people? I have and will always have respect for single mothers, I admire their strength and courage, anyone can walk to the abortion clinic and quietly get rid of a baby. Only a few are willing to damn it all and have that child. 

Still, have values become so inconsequential that the younger women take pride in being pregnant by almost anyone, with or without commitment? Some days ago my friends got to talking about Anna Banner and one became so impassioned; why would such a promising beautiful young girl do this to herself, just... Why?

I have no answers. Maybe because the baby-daddy is Flavour?

Yes. This brings me to this new culture of Nigerian celebrities scattering their seeds all over the place, spewing them recklessly into the open legs of young girls who don't have enough sense to insist on protection... While I'm certain some of these ladies do want to get pregnant by these men, don't they think? If this guy is such a big celebrity and he's sleeping with you, who isn't his wife, without protection, do you know how many others he's doing the same with? Even if you have no respect for yourself or your body, have you no regard for your health? Eiiish!

I never intended to go on a rant this morning but I started writing and I got emotional. I burn at the thought of the next generation of fatherless children, children with absent fathers, children deprived of the benefits, joys and pleasures of being born within a family unit with both parents present and united, children born with the knowledge that mama was a mere baby mama and if mama was, then why can't I be? Children turning into adults and building romantic or sexual relationships with their blood relatives, only they didn't know this because they didn't know for sure "how many of us daddy had". 

And there's something I learnt recently. I never knew I would say this, in fact I have always resented and disregarded people who make such assertions. But guys, observations and experiences I've had in the past weeks have taught me that some stereotypes are not completely unfounded. A lot of products from broken homes/polygamous homes/with absentee parents, aren't as rounded as products of traditional homes. I'm not saying this conclusively. I in no way mean to suggest that everyone from non-traditional homes have behavioral problems, and everyone from traditional homes turn out to be model citizens, we all know they don't. Still, the presence of both parents, working together as one unit, in a child's life does have several advantages, some of which build, shape and strengthen the character of the child. It really does make me wonder about Baby Mamaism and the resultant effects. 


Times are indeed changing and thoughts of tomorrow leave a sour taste in my mouth. The picture above, which in no way affects or concerns me, got me all in my feelings. No, I don't expect him to publicly berate them, but to publicly pat them on the back... Now that's a whole new level of unconditional love and acceptance. 


And while I often love to share my thoughts, I'm fully aware that no one has a monopoly on knowledge, that there are angles I may not have seen or considered, and that even though your opinions dissent from mine, I may still have something to learn from them. Thus I ask; thoughts? Please share. 


Comments

  1. Exactly my taught when I read the post on stellas blog.

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    1. God Bless you for this post T
      My own issue is
      1. Nowadays most girls don't mind being Baby Mamas
      2. The way society encourages it
      I totally agree with your opinion T

      Delete
  3. “…The world today is so appearance conscious, if you don't like something, change it, it’s a dangerous cycle…” – Chioma Ukeje 9:05 pm, May 01, 2015 (The Bane of Ignorance).

    This is exactly my thought. Everyone wants to please himself without thinking of the long term consequences of his actions, whether pure or impure. You just hit the nail at the right spot Thelma.

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    1. Wow memphis quoted me "blushing". As for awon baby mamas, they have always been there, the only difference is that the social media has made it more announced, before it was a thing of shame, you will go to the village till you born, as for the children as Thelma said they bear the brunt of it.

      Delete
  4. Some ladies just love the thought of fathering a child of a supposed Celebrity, I used the word supposed because I don't get impressed easily with artists. So many times I ask them again, what exactly is it with this or that guy? And I get some really anonying answer over again. A friend even turned maga untop one "mtcheeeew actor" sef... Story for another day.

    I hold Mr dele in high regards and the few times I met him was totally worth it, but with what I saw above I am gobsmacked...Have we thrown our African values? I have a headache...

    It is time, beautiful ladies use their gumption and stop practicing partial imbecility.

    I am outa here

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    1. Now I am not saying the ladies birthing the babies should'nt be encourage, as a matter of fact it is a more honorable thing to do than visit a clinic secretly, but giving them a pat on the back publicly is showdown.

      Or is it because it's davido? Just maybe he knows something we the public don't know( official introduction things kept secret)

      Delete
  5. I thot I was the only one seeing this thing but Dele Momodu is always been an agbaya ass kisser.

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  6. Everyone wants to b a baby mama. It's really crazy, the society will live in encourages crazy tins. Our main problem is that we follow d footsteps of d whites n that's wats killing us.

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  7. Ds new babymama trend is rather unfortunate. Gone were the days where it was considered a taboo..now it's celebrated. May God help ds generation!

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  8. Hey mami....you know, this is something I don't like to talk alot bout....they have a kid...and that's the bright side I am looking at....I try not to go deeper.... **shrugs**

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  9. Time will tell of more to come. Don't be surprised, it's just the way the world is right now.

    I guess Mr Dele was just trying to clear the air about his relative. 'She ate the frog with enough flesh' - Davido ain't a nobody. Remove the music career, he still matters in the society as money rules....

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    1. Nne no be small 'awo gbara agba'! That, if you ask me, is the only reason why Mr Momodu did that post.

      Like Blink said, it's better than an abortion.

      Delete
  10. We want to be whites at all cost..we just keep following their footsteps whether right or wrong
    If the baby Daddy wasn't Davido it will be labelled abomination
    I wonder what drives the girl thou..I cnt wrap my head around it

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  11. ah well!... the title of my JSS3 Literature book by Nyengi Koin comes to mind - "Time Changes Yesterday".

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  12. What I marvel at is the fact that they don't use condoms.....For crying out loud,shebi there are cheap ones?And am sure the babes know that they are not the only one's been shagged....TNHW

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  13. In the past when you baby-mama a woman your parents make you wife her. Now its a trend and unfortunately the younger ones are getting in on it. We are straying into wild waters.....

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  14. Crazy world we live in. Thelms, I feel you 100 percent.

    Anna Banners case is another pathetic story.

    This is all. Shades. Of SAD

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  15. *in riri's voice* A better round of applause... standing ovation... for the baby mamas!!!

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  16. Its really crazy. I dont understand it. We have completely turned the world upside down, everything is happening backwards these days. Back in the day, man finds woman, throws stones at her windows to get her out or sends her friends to call her so they can chat away from the house, makes up his mind to marry her and brings his pple over, they get married, have sex for the first time(babe's a virgin), have kids, etc..
    Now, woman (can) chase man, man agrees, they start shagging on the 3rd date, move in together, lady gets preggers, THEN they get married and have kids or lady gets preggers has the baby, gets preggers again, has the baby THEN they get married.

    I keep looking at the so called celebrities even abroad and I'm flabbergasted. When did being a baby mama become a thing of pride? When did it become ok to celebrate fornication on such a large scale? When did it become ok for our unmarried daughters to come home pregnant by men who have no intention of doing right by them anytime soon? When did having money or fame become the yardstick for measuring eligibility for fatherhood?

    I understand that its better to have the baby than get an abortion but its much better to close your legs until the man does right by you. If he doesnt wife you, he has no right to touch or smell your cookie. This situation is just sad, really really sad.

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  17. Uyi is back with his *******

    Anyways Thelma, in as much as you pretty much made a very solid point as regards the topic, I beg to disagree (75%) with you and pretty much everyone here trying to make this situation a 'bad' one.

    I have come to realise(as I'm sure y'all agree) that life isn't 1+1=2(in simple terms). You don't just say, 'hey ive got it all figured out' so anything outside this is 'bad' or negative to societal values. Can we stop please.

    I'm sure anyone here who has had sexual inter course here and on a regular basis would know ...*let me not go there*. But my point is we as humans have to make 'mistakes'(subject to interpretation) and carry that for the rest of our lives, but beating ourselves over it would only bring us down.
    Seeing the positives as Dele Momodu has chosen to do by celebrating the birth of a child is just RIGHT to me. Whether inside or outside wedlock, it doesn't matter Plz.(why don't we complain when someone chooses to not marry ever?)*just a question*

    Thelma, I'm going to say that the 25% of you being right to me was your acknowledging the fact that you had let your emotions write for you.

    Final note, I do not intend to be 'star'(hopefully a public figure). But when we decide and choose to not get starstruck like some others, it doesn't make those starstuck any less better than u and I. Those 'stars' are trying plz, imagine the number of girls and even guys(with other intentions) they meet everyday. The temptations. The Trials. Its not easy and I believe that everyone of us here, if we find ourselves in the same shoes we would do same or even worse. And I can understand that we have our right to draw our own conclusions for any situation, but I just wanted to make us see it from a different perspective rather than our 'African' point of view/values. For the record, Isis are sticking to one value, even though it isn't RIGHT but it is a value.

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    1. LMAO. No be small "Uyi is back with his ******* ".

      Uyi you see, what I really don't understand is how you always manage to cocoon the SINNER and the SIN in situations like these, thereby giving abstract details of them. Be aware that they can never be the same. Now you ended with "ISIS has values"? Dude...take it easy naa...

      You more or less put it to everyone who commented here that they're self righteous. You also implied that we're in no position to admonish simply because of our evil ways. Values now transcends Right or Wrong. In order to understand that last phrase let me take you back a couple of weeks back prior to the Elections. You didn't remember politics (abi life) isn't 1+1=2 when you had words for the PDP and GEJ. You admonished and condemned their actions. "... it doesn't make those starstuck any less better than u and I...", yet you didn't spare GEJ? Hmmm...

      Well, we now know that we should focus on values rather than right or wrong. At least ISIS has a value, but we've not noticed yours in respect to your comment.

      Delete
    2. Choi! Hehehe lol hear! Hear!

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    3. Lmao...
      Well, Gej and Nigeria is just my emotions writing. Like I said with regards to wat Thelma wrote, she even acknowledged that probably its just her getting emotional. I do that when its affecting me and GEJ's actions affects me.. When it isn't, I usually try to be rational.

      Delete
    4. Uyi my frienda! ... I was waiting for your "insightful" comment... I appreciate the fact that you bring a diff perspective to situations but sometimes it feels like u just want to play devil's advocate... it's fine... it's your personal opinion and you are very entitled to it. meanwhile guy!... let me quickly "clear" you before I continue my epistle... this is not an "african" perspective. any "morally upright" person will see things the way thelma and other BVs see it.... notice I said morally upright and not christian or muslim or Buddhist. It is what it is!

      "Those 'stars' are trying plz, imagine the number of girls and even guys(with other intentions) they meet everyday. The temptations. The Trials. Its not easy..."

      Lmaooo! This actually got me laughing. Uyi are you the kind of person that would tell a man that it's alright to cheat simply because the "temptations" are to great to withstand... or that it's okay for a girl that's going though tough times to start doing Runz because the temptations are overwhelming. or for a guy to steal or go into yahoo yahoo simply because he is now the breadwinner at 18 with 7 siblings to care for and of course... let's not forget the mighty temptations facing him... i'm sure u get my point now.

      Thing is these guys are being irresponsible and reckless( same goes for the girls) and very soon they'll begin to reap what they have sown.(that is none of my business anyway) but we should say it as it is.

      "..and I believe that everyone of us here, if we find ourselves in the same shoes we would do same or even worse.."
      errr alaye speak for yourself o! Don't come and be telling me if I find myself in that situation... how u take know say I go do the same or worse sef! *still trying to brush up my pidgin* :-D

      I'm sure there are "stars" that are not living recklessly like these ones. I mean it is insane to have sex with different girls without protection in this day and age. Knowing these girls also sleep with other men. I don't even understand it.

      like memphis rightly pointed out...
      u didn't spare GEJ and his cohorts. so don't come here and be telling us what is not.
      When something is wrong... it is wrong! period!

      Delete
    5. Yep! That long, articulate epistle was written by my sister *proud big sis*

      Uyi o! I think you just like looking for Memphis's and Kabuoy's trouble. Really tho, I just can't believe this.

      "I'm sure anyone here who has had sexual inter course here and on a regular basis would know ...*let me not go there*. But my point is we as humans have to make 'mistakes'(subject to interpretation) and carry that for the rest of our lives, but beating ourselves over it would only bring us down" Nobody's saying you should cry over spilt milk what we're saying is be careful not to spill the milk! Many others have towed the same road you are about to tow, why go ahead and fall into all the same ditches they fell into unless of course it was deliberate... and this is the point Thelma was trying to make. Many of these women walk into these situations with their eyes opened so its not a matter of "mistake" is a matter of wanting to have so so person's baby. I know its not all of them but really, what do you expect us to think. See all those ladies that had babies for Tuface or Flavour's current baby mama scenario.

      Delete
    6. I watched a documentary on beiber when he was still trying to get his feet on ground in his music. The mother said, "that's why I'm here so he doesn't get to carried away by the glam and forget his MORALS"... I was hoping he could be an example of good morals as he grows but Where is beiber's mother now that beiber is here(I can't list all his shortcomings as we all know)

      Kabouy you never see anything oh... You just get mouth lolz. You probably haven't seen much complications DAT life offers. All thanks to your parents. Just be glad you aren't in their shoes my dear. Everything is quite straightforward for you I guess.

      You, sunshine. You dey side Ur sister abi? Lol...I will take you both together!!! Bring it on. Lmao

      Delete
  18. I think Dele momodu put that post up SOLELY because it's Davido and no other reason. Money Rules

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