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And That's How He Went And Shattered My Dreams Like Fine China Against The Wall!





Thelma is 6ft tall. There really isn't any striking feature on her face besides those full lips, yet somehow all those pretty ordinary features all add up and she's actually quite pretty. Her body is that of a woman who spends good time at the gym. Her endlessly long legs are full yet toned, extremely sexy. Her waist is small and her abs can only be described as being "on point". The diamond belly ring she always wore added more to her sensuality. 

The reality show had been on for a while and now it was only 5 finalists left. They all wanted to be like her, like Thelma the super star biker. The final came and they had to bike thousands of kilometers, from Lagos to Ghana. Finally she had a winner, and she was glad she did. She really wanted the show to end so that she could get back to her life. And that's why when the journalist asked her "Err, Thelma how did you come to be a biker, and one of the best bikers in the country at that?" She rolled her eyes and began to walk away, then she suddenly had a thought and stopped in her track. She wasn't a rude person, it wasn't the journalist's fault that she was tired so it wasn't fair to be rude. "I never planned to be a biker" she began. "After my last relationship I was broken. My ex really dealt with me and I thought I would die. I lost interest in everything but one day I randomly got on a bike and I soon found out that I was a very good rider. I cannot explain the adrenaline rush I get whenever I'm on a bike! I started to train at it and train my body too. My success was my revenge to my ex and that is why I'm so good" Thelma said. 

***
Please can anybody make sense of this, because I cannot. I will just go and be dreaming all kinds of dreams... This makes no sense to me. It's one of the dreams I had last night. I was this tall Amazonian with the body of an athletic goddess. In conclusion, I rode the bike back to Lagos and realized that I forgot my bag at the pack in Ghana then immediately rode back, my bag was still were I left it in Accra *sigh of relief*. I picked up my bag and started biking back to Lagos. On getting back I went straight to the club. It was about 2 pm, the club was packed and the party was banging. 

Hia! 

LOL. I should add that I've never been to Ghana, ridden a bike, nor do I intend to ever ride one. I don't have a belly ring, and there's nothing remotely Amazonian above me. Anyone with possible interpretations of this dream should please come forward. Hehe.

***
Anyhoo, after several months of doing shakara I thought it might be fun to give Dayo a chance. He came to pick me up from Chocolate's house this evening and we went for drinks at the club where he works out and swims. He came out of the changing room with a tattoo across his chest; *Abisola*. 

Wait what? I'm like what's that? Do you know he hadn't thought about it. He began to mumble. Apparently Abisola (not her real name, but the same number of letters) is his ex and they got the tattoos when "the love was shacking us" (already those choice of words take you down a few notches in my book. Dude you have a vocabulary, use it). She tattooed his face on her back. They were engaged but it didn't work out, now they're broken up and have both moved on. Except Dayo carries her name everywhere he goes and Abisola carries his face on her skin. 

For me it's an instant deal breaker. But Dayo says I'm overreacting (I really don't care if I am, the deal is broken. If it were a tiny cute tattoo maybe I wouldn't be so freaked out. But across his chest? Mba nu!

Would that break the deal for you, or can you deal? Guys would you marry a lady who has another man's face tattooed across her back? Please tell me what you think. I told Dayo I'm posting this. He insists that what I'm saying is akin to punishing him for something he did before we met. I maintain that our actions have consequences, and some farther reaching than others. 

...Oh, about the title, nobody smashed anything. I really just love to play around with my posts' titles, sometimes. 



*BTW the tattoo in the image above though (www.thoughtyoumayask.com); "Momma's Boy", what?! That's even worst than tattooing your ex's name. Ladies, even if Ex's name isn't a deal breaker, then you've got zero standards, or real issues, if you say this does not break the deal for you*

Comments

  1. Her value to me has to be greater than the tattoo for us to continue with anything serious.

    But at first glance, I may be put off by it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree Tee, it is a deal breaker. Truth is actions do have consequences.

    Being in love isn't an excuse to take certain decisions. They weren't even married back then for Pete's sake.

    as far as I'm concerned, we shouldn't Copy every freaking thing we watch on TV in the name of whatever.

    He should find a solution to that tattoo, and fast.
    I wonder what th Ex will do to hers.
    No sane guy would like that unless all he wants to do is hit it and drop it like hot yam

    ReplyDelete
  3. I thought tattoo's could come off, get rid of the damn thang.

    Meanwhile T, can't I borrow your dreams. I hardly dream, hardly. I just want to live in a hologram were everything's fine, even though everything's unreal.
    goodnight ok

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Na lie! You hardly dream? Hmmm. If I nap in a bus for 3 minutes I dream and "correct" dream o! Very well detailed like the one above. I read it and I sounded very conceited but the Thelma in my dream was very hot. I don't think it was even me sef, just that it was me... Ok, now that's confusing. I really wish I could lend you some dreams Kene, it's fun, like watching a movie while you're asleep.
      Except when God wants to reveal something through my dream, those ones are no fun.

      Delete
    2. And tattoos don't just come off. Laser treatments are done in a few places in Lagos but most people don't have much trust in them. And even when you take a vacation, the process is in several stages and it's unlikely that you'll be done when by the time your trip comes to an end. Plus it's really painful. I guess there are a lot of reasons why people don't immediately get rid of a tattoo they no longer want. It's not as easy as getting the tattoo.

      Delete
    3. Ha Thelma and here I thought I was the only one. I've actually dreamt of the world being destroyed by storm and I was in a plane and it crashed (oh we survived) and then we were stranded with debris floating and i had to climb on one of it...very close to a slum like the one beside 3rd mainland bridge. Story no finish oh. Its always like an adventure. Sometimes ehn, u don't wanna leave Ur dream.

      Like Thelma said, that 3mins will be like 2hours. That's why I can so relate with that movie Inception. So surreal.

      Delete
    4. Yeah. 3 mins can be like 2hrs or 5hrs. I've actually read the reason that happens, or was the explanation in Inception? *scratches head*. But unfortunately I can't remember what they said now.

      Delete
  4. At least u had a good dream, I never used to dream but now my name should be jospephine...last night I had a dream that my mum told my hubby to leave me and file for divorce lol and I was so confused then hubby now told me he was moving to Shangai and he won't come bk lool..I remembered waking up feeling extremely sad, then I woke him up to promise me he will never move to Shangai without me, I was almost crying lol
    I can't wait to dream of being an amazonian Princess :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. loooool @ your reaction! yeah there are dreams that make you feel really sad when you wake up.

      i dreamt that my mom died in an accident a few years ago... i cried so hard in the dream and when i woke up, i was crying... like tears in my eyes et al. lool. i had to go and check if she was still breathing just to calm myself down. lool.

      Your husband wont leave you and go to shangai Tolu. lool.

      Delete
    2. Your reaction is totally what i will do
      I dream alot its crazy,some meaningful,some just out of this world that when i wake up all i do is laugh....Dnt worry your husband wont leave you and go to shanghai

      Delete
    3. Hehe thanks guys for the vote of confidence. Dreams can be quite crazy sometimes!!! I hope he doesn't leave me to go to Shangai lool

      Delete
  5. When I hear deal breaker all I can think of is Jerry Springer Baggage
    His baggage is too much abeg....
    That's a definite deal breaker..
    Tattoo nightmares would cover it for him

    ReplyDelete
  6. Major deal breaker! People who do this kind of stuff should think of the future. Why tattoo another person's name on ur body. See Angelina Jolie and Nick Cannon, both tattooed their spouses' names on their bodies and are no more married to them. Nick had to get like a monster tattoo to cover Mariah's name... that's just stupid. Find another way to express your love/committment, get a puppy together and care for it or some other oyinbo wahala, something that does not include branding yourself with someone else's name for life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly!..goes ahead to scream "tatooes aint easily wiped"! If not, Nick wouldn't have com up with that 'huger' cross! Smh 4 d lady with his ugly face on her back! #straightface

      Delete
    2. lmaoo @ "branding yourself with someone else's name for life"!

      i feel better already!!! :)

      Delete
    3. Exactly...Do something oyinboish not some lame tatoo you will try to cover up or get rid of when the relationship is over

      Delete
  7. Very serious deal breaker biko! Can't be in a relationship with him and his Ex, no way, can't handle her permanent presence even if not physically. And I don't like tattoos but if I like the tattoo bearer so much, bro is definitely getting his Ex's name turned into a rose or any other thing that can change the inked name to something else.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Naturally, I am not a fan of tattoo - any kind, be it flower, an animal or a name; I just don't understand the rationale behind it. It is then needless to say that an ex's name on a man's chest would definitely freak me out.

    Thelma, you are not alone in the dream department. Sometimes, I have some dreams and I wonder what was wrong with my mind and spirit.

    -F

    ReplyDelete
  9. Imagine Dayo's ex with another man and he's having sex with her - doggie style. Dayo's face tattooed on her back will be staring right at him as he's thrusting in and out.

    hahahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  10. An open invitation to Host you in Ghana..

    ReplyDelete
  11. That dream...lol....I had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard!!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thelma, you write about new dates every single day. I'm really confused here

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm just as confused lady Eni. Like why do I go on all these dates and what happens afterwards? LOL. Mind you they're not all "romantic", and not all first dates either, so if I say I went on a date with someone today it could be with someone from last week. I'm single, my evenings are free, I get to meet a lot of guys and what often follows is "let's have drinks/do dinner". If I'm up for it I show up. Thus I go on dates, and it's one aspect of my life I don't mind blogging about.

      Delete
  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Tolu's dream though. I hate tattoos. Can't stand needles.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Talking bout dreams thelma as if u read my mind. Those moments i just wish there was a Joseph d dream interpreter to explain the wierd dreams 've had a few times now on different times.
    #so confusing

    ReplyDelete

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