How dare he take away my right to say no to his offer of friendship again.
I am in tears, broken, my heart is in a million pieces, my eyes are blurred, my stomach is churning and heaving as I write this. 7 years we were friends, we dated other people and he nursed the idea of dating me but there was always a hitch, he either had a girlfriend or I was in a relationship, there was never an opportunity to take things to the next level for the both of us. January 2015, the opportunity came, he was free and I was in a shitty relationship that I needed to get out of. He talked, cajoled, convinced me that I deserved better, what was I doing with a man who had a kid, twenty something years older than me and treated me like shit. He gave me strength and I left the relationship, he wanted to be with me but I asked him to let me heal. He gave me space, love, care, attention and all I needed to heal. Fast-forward to March, we started dating. We talked extensively about the relationship, he promised not to hurt me, he gave me joy that turned out to be fleeting.
It wasn't about the sex, we had sex thrice, once when we were friends and had a spell break, and I didn't attach any emotions to it then about 3years ago, twice as lovers with lots of emotional attachment and lots of promises to make me happy. Then it happened, that bad Thursday, he dropped me off at home and went for a night vigil, I didn't hear from him again, he stopped calling, stopped picking my calls and when he eventually picked, he had a lot of excuses.
I thought about what could have gone wrong, I decided to give him space, traveled to port harcourt to an aunts place to stay for a week. He didn't call, I came back, told him I was back, he didn't call, then I called him today and asked him to please see me.
My worst nightmare just happened, it happened this afternoon, he honored my invitation and I proceeded to ask him why the lull in communication and if I did something wrong, he said I didn't do anything wrong, that it was during the night vigil, it was prophesied to him that the girl he wants to marry is not the right girl for him. The pastor of his church told him to leave that girl because she's a bad woman and that's the reason he was avoiding me.
I said no problem, just make sure u take the next girl to your pastor before trying to have sex with her. That was when the shocker came, the pastor had asked him to go back to his ex, the ex who is a member of his church while I am a catholic. Why can't he see the writing on the wall and the manipulation. Now he wants us to be friends again, I said I can't go back to being your friend and he had the guts to ask why?
My response was HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY LOVE AND ALSO WANT TO TAKE AWAY MY RIGHT TO SAY NO TO YOUR FRIENDSHIP. If I can't have your love, I don't think I want to be friends with you again, we have long crossed that threshold, we should never have crossed it.
As someone recently commented; man-woman matter does not end. LOL. When the poster sent this to me she said she had been feeling down but after writing she immediately felt a lot better. You see people, there's magic in writing. It's so therapeutic and detoxifying sometimes. Keep the submissions coming and remember they can be about anything at all, provided we can all relate, contribute to, learn from or simply just read and enjoy.
This above, I'm sure most of us can relate to. Poster I'm so sorry for your hurt. And if it makes you feel any better; at least he told you why he left. Most of us haven't always had they luxury. They come and rock your world, make you feel all happy and optimistic, and then poof! They vanish and don't even tell you why. Then begins that odious search for "closure". Ugh!
If he doesn't see that there's an agenda then there's something wrong with him...