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Husband Is His Family's Personal ATM Machine. ("Make It Stop" or "Not aProblem"?)


Hey guys, remember I told you about blog readers making oral submissions? Well this situation below is so similar to what I discussed with a blog reader recently. I will still post her story on a later date but first let's hear what you think about this. Read below;





My husband is very close to his family. Extremely close! They see him as their "big daddy". He is everyone's big brother, uncle, "egbon of life" and ATM Machine. When he travels he always gets socks, boxer shorts and all sorts for his peeps. I know he is into his family but when does it become too much. His late brothers last son is getting married and as the "Big Uncle" he is expected to foot a significant part of the bill. My husband has a household to take care of and I don't want a situation where our well runs dry. I spoke to my husband about his overdose on philanthropy with his family and he decided to fall back and support them with N1,000,000 towards the wedding. His nephew and other family members are angry and feel this is stingy and I am the cause as they naturally expected him to do more than that. Whilst these family dynamics may have worked prior to us getting married, it's been 3 years and they need to respect his position as a married man. Yes, he can afford to take on 
a lot more but I felt the need to intervene so they don't continue to take advantage of his kind nature. Are they wrong for not appreciating the small donation or am I the witch of a wife who has involved herself in their family's business. I may have created enemies but is this battle worth it?

*Once a man is married, should a wife learn to manage finances between herself and her in laws or is she right in marking her territory and cutting off all the excess funding for her immediate family alone. Does she have a sense of entitlement? Has she overstepped? #DoJudge #SharingMoney #Love#Money #inlaws #relationships.


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The above is today's Tuesday #chickchat with @conniegirlswag. Follow @conniegirlswag on Instagram and be part of this interesting discourse every Tuesday. 

Comments

  1. She hasn't over stepped at all.. She has to safeguard her side.. Some men don't know wen to stop wen it comes to giving .. I'm not against giving family but u gotta know wen to stop.. I have watched my parents siblings almost suck em dry! They will keep coming back cos they know u will keep giving until u have nothing left! Piss takers..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I lost my 2 years relationship 4 months ago. My Husband left me with so many pains and since then I have been heart broken and shattered. I have emailed so many sites online looking for a good spell caster till i was directed by one Mrs Wendy Dustin from a forum to email this email address: BLESSEDSPELLHOME@HOTMAIL.COM At first I never believed him, it took him some time to convince me and something occurred to me and I said let me give him a trial. I was very shocked when my Husband called me 5 days after DR DAN were done with the spell casting . My Husband was crawling on his knees for what he has done wrong and i am very happy that we are together today because now he love and care for me and my kids like never before..I will advise you to contact DR DAN because he has done wonders in my life and i believe he can help you out. email: BLESSEDSPELLHOME@HOTMAIL.COM or his website: http://blessedspellhome.wix.com/dr-dan or call him +1 (310) 751-7818

      I lost my 2 years relationship 4 months ago. My Husband left me with so many pains and since then I have been heart broken and shattered. I have emailed so many sites online looking for a good spell caster till i was directed by one Mrs Wendy Dustin from a forum to email this email address: BLESSEDSPELLHOME@HOTMAIL.COM At first I never believed him, it took him some time to convince me and something occurred to me and I said let me give him a trial. I was very shocked when my Husband called me 5 days after DR DAN were done with the spell casting . My Husband was crawling on his knees for what he has done wrong and i am very happy that we are together today because now he love and care for me and my kids like never before..I will advise you to contact DR DAN because he has done wonders in my life and i believe he can help you out. email: BLESSEDSPELLHOME@HOTMAIL.COM or his website: http://blessedspellhome.wix.com/dr-dan or call him +1 (310) 751-7818

      Delete
  2. It's only in Nigeria that we have this Egbon culture. lazy people justifying their laziness. Please safe guard your husband's money. It is for you and the children. He can give his family members of course but you must draw a line somewhere unless they will suck him dry and when the money finishes they will all varnish like smoke.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abi o..there should be limits biko

      Delete
  3. Giving is good but there must be limits especially those families that feel entitled. The wife should seek a diplomatic but firm way of putting it through to the husband as it is a delicate issue. Sometimes givers don't know how to say no, it's actually the place of the wife to make sure that the husband does not get carried away with his giving to the detriment of their own family.

    But if the Husband is taking good care of the wife, children, including future plans for his family and he is still rich enough to do father Christmas by all means he should. Givers never lack. J

    ReplyDelete
  4. 1million naira and they say it's stingy? Na wa o! If something happens to this man now and his finances run dry, this same family will abandon him, or even worse accuse the wife of being behind it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. How can a gift of N1m be regarded as a stingy gift? If big bros is dropping N1m then how much is the groom dropping? Should the wedding expenses not be tailored to suit the funds available to the bride and groom? The wife has every right to step in and curtail her husband, if not they might become the begging party. Plus its obvious the inlaws are ungrateful and not considerate.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Lazy people constanly justifying their actions...why can't they get their own money
    How is 1million stingy please...is it his wedding
    If the husband can still take care of his family
    While giving to people its fine but the family not appreciating what he gives is not ok

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous Rider!5:28 pm, May 05, 2015

    Nobody owes Anyone anything...Except an Opportunity to prove yourself!
    They should manage the 1m before it becomes 500k.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I understand their expectations are not met, however it doesn't make the "big daddy" a stingy man.
    The wife is only protective if her home finances which is only normal, just don't over do it.
    I have to say that if the "big daddy" having fulfilled his parental duties by all standard set still has funds to give than he has aleady done, then he should by all means do more.( what are uncles for sef)

    Alter me- if my uncle is dangote's grade and I get 1M as support, I go vex ooh, I fit reschedule the wedding till the money complete.

    ReplyDelete
  9. **thinking** I am gonna speak for myself. In my household, I am the head of the home and my husband is the head of the family. (that is actually how it's gotta be) That being said, I take care of my jurisdiction just as he takes care of his...we try not clash or have a conflict of interest. The woman has to be in charge of the finances.....sooooooooo by default, any dime has to come and go through me. It doesn't matter if in-laws are involved or not. He is no longer just a son, uncle, brother or whatever - he is also a husband and that comes first! So to answer your question - Does she have a sense of entitlement? HELL YEAH! Has she overstepped? HELL NO!......You have to take care of your home first cuz that is the main priority....Don't let nobody tell you otherwise...we are 15 years into the millennium...you have to evolve with time mami...

    If taking care of your home and ensuring that your husband takes care of the family makes you a 'witch of a wife' - So be it! ---I know I wouldn't care anyway...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seconded @ Erniesha. You jes spoke my mind.

      Delete
  10. Wifey plss and plsss... Since ur husband has too much to give away, wat u av to do is make him set u up in a big way or many wayz self(chainsssss of businesses). And allow him continue his family give aways because very soon he would get tired of u telling him wat to do with his money and family and that might cause probs in ur home. But God forbid anytin happens to his money source in future( which seems to b ur worry), u would b there to pick him right up with what he set u up wit. After he has learnt the hard way that his family wont b there for him wen he is down.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Only in Nigeria do people feel entitled to ither people's money

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
  12. SMH! He dropped 1m and he's stingy? What kind of people are these? You are not entitled to anybody's money if you did not work for it. That groom should bury his head in shame. Like Ms Pynk always says, if you cannot afford a big wedding go to court. Why put pressure on other people to give you money for YOUR wedding. Even if he can afford to give you 10m, its his damn money and he has chosen to give you 1m, be grateful! It's no one's exclusive duty to be generous to you, take whatever you get and be grateful for it.

    As for the questions, Yes she has a sense of entitlement, for pete's sake, he's her husband. of course she has one. Has she overstepped? No, she only cautioned her husband, she didn't tell him to stop giving altogether and yes, the family is wrong for not appreciating the 1million naira, very wrong in fact.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Biko I need such uncles ooo.500k sef, am 'overjoyed'

    ReplyDelete
  14. I wonder how some adults live their lives based on someone else's money. How can anyone plan based on an uncle or aunty's finances?

    The wife has not overstepped at all because if the 'well should get dried up', she would bear the direct brunt and all these 'looters' would flee. However, she needs to thread softly and not make a public show of it.

    More so, the husband doesn't have just his household to take care of, he also has his future, retirement and the future of his children to think of. Things do change you know. I do hope he has a lot of investments and rock solid plan for the days when he may not be making so much money as he does now.

    -F

    ReplyDelete
  15. He just keep on loving me everyday since when Dr.Ogudugu helped me through his act of spell casting to bring him back to me, Kennedy and i have been having a rocky relationship for some time but i am so happy now because since the interference of Dr.Ogudugu Kennedy has changed to be a romantic lover and these are thing he has not been doing for some time. I believe this will prove to people that Dr.Ogudugu is a powerful spell caster and you can contact Dr.Ogudugu through these details below

    Via Email: greatogudugu@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete

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