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Just a Mainland Girl. (Closure, or something like that).

On Friday I did something I haven't done in a minute, I hit the clubs. Some of my friends came into town and being infrequent visitors to Lagos they insisted that they couldn't come into town and not go to those popular clubs they hear about on the Island. First I took them to a couple of lounges and hoped that would quench their thirst but no, they wanted the chaos, the deafening noise, the scantily clad girls, the classy-looking hoes, the champagne popping, the fire works that accompany the bottles of champagne and announce to everyone that there's a big baller in the house, the works! Eventually I got a bit embarassed and decided to save face, they were beginning to look a bit disappointed; "we thought you were a happening girl that knew the correct clubs on the island". I knew they were trying to both guilt-trip and shame me and it worked. 

I hustled them into the car and we went to 57. It wasn't spoken but already decided it had to be VIP and I most certainly didn't mind, the less crowd the better. We got a table and there was a party going on on the table next to ours and I could already make out the faces of some Lagos socialites and Instagram celebrities. So I wasn't really surprised when I saw him standing less than ten feet away from me. 

My mouth went dry. I wasn't sure what was going to happen but I knew that for seven years I'd wanted to look this guy in the eyes and just ask him why. I've seen him over the years. On Instagram, on the social pages and eventually he married a former classmate, so...

Unfortunately as the designated driver, I couldn't drink anything. if only I could have a drink, or two, or three, I could confront him and find out why he was a douchebag. But wait. Was I saying I wouldn't talk to him with or without some liquid courage? No. I had to, if I didn't I would hate myself afterwards. But...

He was never alone for a second. When some thirsty girls weren't trying to get his attention, his guys would crowd him and laugh belligerently about God knows what. 

Coincidentally my friends were ready to leave same time he was. As we exited VIP I knew it was then or never, and for the first time all night he was by himself. I tapped him on the shoulder; "I need to talk to you" I said. He looked at me, a bit baffled. I reckon he was trying to figure out what I wanted; to offer "services" for the night, to beg for money, to toast him or something. He looked really baffled, because you see, Seyi really didn't remember me. A serial killer doesn't always remember all his victims, but a victim would never forget who killed him.

Seyi wasn't a killer or anything so morbid. But sordid? Yes. He didn't kill anyone, he only killed a relationship I had several years ago. 

I've told you guys about it before. The beauty of sharing past events of my life with you is that some of the things I thought really were in the past rear their heads up and I get to update you. I told you about the "Ikoyi boy" I dated then who told his friends I was "everything" but they insisted I was "just a mainland girl". Meaning, I was a hustler, and not the good kind, I was a gold digger, I didn't have class or prestige, I didn't belong in their circle and never would and therefore, it was only right that I be a mere bed buddy, or a side chic at best, and nothing more. Yet, Ex saw that I was more and always insisted that I was "different". His buddies weren't buying it and therefore took it upon themselves to prove to Ex that I was "just a mainland girl". 

They set me up, one after the other. But it was the hole that Seyi dug that I fell into, that put the final nail in the coffin. 

I would summarize. Seyi popped into my life claiming we met at either Churasco or Bacccus and that I gave him my number. I couldn't remember meeting him but those were days I went out a lot and those were places I went to. Moreover he described me perfectly, down to the way I laugh. I began to think that indeed we must have met. But whether we did meet or not, Seyi became a friend in all ramifications of the word. He took the time to earn my trust and affection. He called regularly, checked up on me, listened to me, became my confidant, my sounding board, my adviser, and my lifter upper. In fact once when I was ill he sent his family doctor to check up on me at home in Surulere and he took care of all the bills. Every Friday and Saturday night he would call me to know if I wanted to hang out but I always said No. I was dating ex then, remember? 

One Friday night he called and asked if I wanted to hang and I said no. I really wanted to meet this friend of mine, he was a great guy and more mature than any one else I knew back then, and an amazing conversationalist, but that night ex was coming over so... The next day I went to Ex's house in the morning and we got into a huge fight. I picked up my bag and left, but I had no where to go. I'd thought I would spend the whole day at Ex's so when everyone at home went out and left no keys for me, I didn't mind. 

I stood on the road and wondered what to do, then a bulb came on in my head. Seyi! He called me yesterday, and he lived at Ikoyi too. I thought it might be nice to finally meet this good friend of mine, and also to kill time till someone got home. I called him and he excitedly gave me directions to his place. 

When I left Seyi's house that day I left with the feeling that I had made a friend for life. We talked about everything. Life, family, failure, success, politics, Kimora Simmons, Russel Simmons, Andy Uba, being from a wealthy family, his baby mama, his plans for the future, ways I could work harder and raise my GP etc. We talked about everything. I sat on the sofa and he sat on another chair about 5 feet away. The only time we made body contact was when I hugged him goodbye. As I walked away he mentioned that he was going to Polo club with some friends later that day and if I wanted to come. I said I didn't want to but we would talk later. 

I never heard from him after that. 

It was about two years later when my relationship with Ex was ruined that I learnt that Seyi took a picture of me leaving his house and immediately called Ex; "I thought you said she was different. We told you she's just a mainland girl. Dude isn't this your babe? She's just left my house". 

I never knew there was any relation to Seyi, but I noticed that that same period Ex withdrew seriously, started treating me very shabbily, cheated on me without remorse or discretion and eventually what we had completely disintegrated. It was almost two years later when we got to talking and I was venting about what a jerk he was that he said to me "You keep saying I did this this and that. Do you know what you did? Do you know all the things you did? That day we quarelled you left my house and went to *Seyi Akinfemi's house! Don't you know Seyi is my boy? He told me everything you guys did, called me immediately you left and even sent me a picture of you leaving". Everything we "did"?

Goose pimples. 

So all that goodness, friendship, care and concern, just to prove to someone that she's "just a mainland girl"? Wow. People are deep. People are mean. And all these years I just wanted to look Seyi in the eyes and ask him why. 

After I left his house that day I called him a couple of times over the weeks. When he wouldn't pick my friends asked "are you sure you didn't sleep with him and now he has dumped you?". That's the thing, he didn't even as much as try to touch me. All nigger wanted to do was prove a point. I actually even told him about Ex, and the reason I was so comfortable with him was because he wasn't trying to get into my pants, so I trusted him and almost loved him like a brother. 

Well Friday night was an anti climax. First off Seyi was tipsy so he couldn't make much sense of anything. He continue to swear that he had never met me in his life and he did no such thing. I described his house and gave him some personal details, next thing he said someone was trying to set him up. Eventually he and said "Pls lets have lunch tomorrow, me you and Ex, I need to clear the air". I immediately lost interest. He's married. Ex is married. These are tales of the past. What air was there to clear?

I quickly walked away and left him standing there, even more baffled than he was before we started the conversation. 

I was pensive until I fell asleep. This grudge I've held on to for all these years, with someone who had long since forgotten my existence...

But thankfully I got a modicum of closure. And now when I see his pictures I would have that nagging feeling; Why. I'll know it's because some people are just mean or insensitive or plain silly. 

I hope you had a splendid weekend guys? Tell me all about it. 


  1. Seyi was mean,all that to prove a childish

  2. As much as it was painful the time it happened, I still think you ended up with the better end of the proverbial stick because if all it took for your Ex to end things with you in a jerk-ish manner was a picture of you leaving another guys house, then he isn't worth much and doesn't deserve you.

  3. People do things and forget that there will always be tomorw, why destroy anoda person? Why go to dat extent? I have kept a grudge also for 4 yrs against an ex who alomsot raped me and still went ahead to embarass me in front of his fiancee (whom I didnt know existed in d 1st place and he married some months after I caught them at his place!) ...I tank God rapture didnt come, dat alone for no let me make heaven, some weeks bak he is on d fone claiming to be 'on his knees begging' may God keep us from evil people, Thelma it is well...let his wickedness be the one to judge him....#JoyDaNuGirl

  4. What a horrible person to ruin a relationship just for the sake of proving a point that wasn't true. But he wasn't the only one to blame, your ex was also at fault. The least he should have done was to discuss the so called visit with you and clarify stuff. His behavior/reaction was definitely a sign of things to come. Don't think you would have loved dealing with that kind of rubbish for 60/70 years.

  5. Horrible Terrible meaaannnn idiot. Imagine the pure wickedness, just to prove a useless point. These kind of people never find true happiness in their miserable snooty lives.
    Your ex was overwhelmed with all the 'mainland girl trash talk from his snooty friends, I guess when they showed him the pix, all the talk just got to him finally and he snapped. Some friends can be pure evil.

  6. Thelma be grateful he wasnt in your life longer. He would have definitely dragged you down with him.

    The island/ mainland analogy make me laugh. I know more than a handful of mainlanders who are landlords on the island.

  7. It is well...


  8. I dont blame Seyi one bit for his stupidity bt d so called bf for exposing his girlfrend to his friend's opinions. He's nt a man!!! Still under peer pressure

  9. Awon Idiot gbogbo..mstcheew! The kind of evil people we have these days ehn.. Imagine making such a huge negative impact in someone's life and not even having the decency to remember it, how callous.

  10. ... finally, closure. People do mean things indeed.

  11. Seyi is very mean. Thelma u dodged a bullet of a bf..who's obviously not a man.

  12. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.


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