At a point where nothing seems to make sense
And all the truth and facts I thought I knew all seem like illusions
Losing sense and sight of everything I once considered important and essential
Losing the me that makes me me
Even my connection to the Almighty is getting blurred and hazy
I am like a ship with a broken sail
Floundering aimlessly at sea
Tossed and battered by the unending waves the sea called life seem to throw at me
My strong and firm foundation is showing signs of wear
And it is now being revealed as the mire it truly was
I still hide behind a facade of strength
And display a confidence I really don't possess
The curtain is already bursting at its seams
And the fragile walls are showing signs of crack
And the question remains how long can I keep up with this pretence.
One of us sent this to me and requested that I share it. If I'd read this months ago I would have thought I wrote it, I know this feeling too well. I have been here before and I can tell you for free, it's not the best place to be. Darling Anon, more than anything else now is the time you need to strengthen your connection to the Almighty. Also it might be time to do some soul searching, some serious introspection. Ask yourself some hard questions and make sure you find answers. As you've already said the walls are beginning to show signs of crack and something must be done before it finally caves in. It might also help to figure out if something happened just before you began to feel this way. Some times we might think there's no correlation between our current psyche and a past event, but if you dig deep and think dispassionately you might find that there is. And there lies the key that sets you free.
I don't know your story, but I wish you well.