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Loving The View From The Top.






"Oh my God, Lagos is so beautiful!", she shrieked. Then just as if she read my mind she added "Well depending on the view you're looking from".
Well it certainly was a beauty from where we stood, in the Presidential suit on the 23rd floor at the Intercontinental Hotel, Victoria Island. We most certainly loved the view from that top floor.

#selfish

Yesterday I joined the Spice TV crew on set as they shot an episode of Spice Toys at the Intercontinental Hotel. Shooting can be so tedious yet very enjoyable, and as I wandered from room to room in the four bedroom suite, with two luxurious living rooms and other awesome amenities, I was reminded once again why I just have to make money! After all, the persons who occupy these lavish hotel apartments nor got two heads, abi?

At some point I had to head out to Ikoyi where a NIMASA seminar was holding. The seminar was for top level execs, it had about 100 participants in all. I was willing to wait at the lounge or something but I was summoned and asked to join the seminar. Of course it all sounded like Greek to me, except when the men weren't making funny banter and cracking themselves up. Yes, "the men".
      I looked around and I was the only female in the hall besides one or two others. The other females were either ushers or waitresses. I found myself asking WHERE ARE THE WOMEN? Are we really just natural mothers that would rather stay home and nurture the kids than conquer the world? Or is that perhaps our own way of conquering the world?
      Reminds me of something I've heard said at several TED talks over time; in the corporate world, the higher up the ladder, the fewer women you see. You'll find that the low level jobs are saturated with women but as the rungs get higher the women get lesser. (I acknowledge that this can partly be attributed to male privilege)
       I wonder, are we less ambitious than men? It's been scientifically proven that we don't have lower IQs, so what gives? Well that only leads me to believe that most women, given the opportunity would rather stay at home and nurture. (However my host later explained that the seminar was for surveyors and engineers and its a field that's predominated by men). 


I sat in traffic for hours and between Ikoyi and home I made three dates none of which I intended to honour (sometimes saying OK is just easier), I was knackered. But after a shower, I snuggled under the sheets and started to send "I'm sorry I won't be able to make it" messages when Onyi called and said Mr Ashiru was opening his lounge and if I would like to come, I said yes. I dunno... Maybe because the last party Onyi and I attended together was the class party we threw in SS2. 
     We see quite a lot of each other (I call Onyi my IDEA BOX. You see ehn, anytime I have a career related challenge, a decision or a move to make, I call Onyi. The girl always has some extremely sound ideas. And she spouts them off immediately, just as if she had done her research and was patiently waiting for me to ask), but we just never party together. Onyi prefers high society; wine tastings, themed parties, cocktails on one yacht or the other... While I tend just to prefer somewhere I can drink my vodka without feeling the pressure for perfection. 

The event was aii, and the only reason I'm referencing it is because the music came from a life band and the singer was pretty good. In fact had it not been for the guitar and acoustics you would think it was the actual songs playing. When I saw Tunde Demuren I knew I would see Banky W and as I watched him pose for pictures I wondered if I could ever do that, see a celebrity (I don't know) and ask for a picture. I'm just too proud or too shy or too apprehensive to do that. (The one time I saw Basket Mouth and tried to be friendly he was quite nasty and unnecessarily sarcastic, I was embarrassed).
      Well guys, next thing I know the singer stops and shouts "Banky W is in the building! Make some noise!!! Errr, Banky I want to do a song with you o! Banky I have told myself that I will work with you". First I was piqued by his straightforwardness and I thought within me that if this were my joint I would give that singer a stern warning. That's so unprofessional, and I wouldn't want to lose celebrities' patronage because they're worried they'll be ambushed by wannabes. But then again I remembered those days when Flavour used to be the life band singer at City Centre, Enugu. He was just a scraggy hungry singer singing for scraps and nobody particularly paid any attention to him. But hey, look where he is now! 

-I guess we're all just trying to make it any way we know how... I know I am. 


Moving on... While we were there I chatted with one of the people I'd made plans with earlier, and since I was already out I promised him I would stop over. He sent me the address but when Onyi and I got there I wondered that there were very few cars, I'd thought he was at a lounge. Well it turned out it his office. Yes, his own law firm. I also learnt he owns the building too. I was awed, first off because in the short time I've known this guy I always thought he was in his twenties, thirty at most. Also, I thought he was a junior associate at the firm, and the times he said "one of the partners at my firm" I thought he was referring to one of his bosses. And then I always wondered why he was always always at the office. At times he would call me past midnight and say "I'm at the office" and I'd always thought he was an overzealous, ambitious low level employee at an overly competitive law firm. LOL. Now it all made sense and I was really impressed. 

As it turns out he's obviously older than I thought, and wayyyyy more successful. The two-story law firm is ultra modern and the theme is minimalist, very classy with a soothing ambience. A few of his friends were drinking brandy and planning to hit the clubs. Before we climbed the stairs Onyi hesitated and asked me "Is he married?", and I realized that it had never occurred to me to ask, because I thought the guy was really young (thinking about it now I can't imagine why). He overheard Onyi and assured us that he's single. Onyi scoffed; because if he's married I'm not going inside. LOL.

Anyhoo, I got home at 2am or thereabouts. Onyi and I parted ways at the tollgate. I got ahead before her and she said I didn't have to wait for her. To be honest I was relieved. I love Onyi but my father drives faster than she does. When we were heading out and I had to drive behind her I felt like my legs never left the brakes! I mean, at that time of the night the roads are free, why crawl when you can fly?

Haha! *kidding*. 

****
*Quick question guys, do you think having a foreign accent in Nigeria gets you ahead? In the last few months, I've noticed that people (especially in Lagos) pay more attention to someone that speaks with a foreign accent, and if that accent is British, they shut up and listen in complete awe. If the person says something as inane as "water is wet", their eyes stay unblinking and they nod their heads as though the person just said something very profound. 
Last month at the Nigerian Entertainment Conference that held at Eko hotel, they wouldn't let us into a particular carpark. My friend called one of the security men to ask why, he just shrugged and started to walk away. Then she shouted "Oi!" and went into full britico accent. My people, without any hesitation the gates were open and they made space for us.
Why though? Why are we so impressed by foreign accents?

Comments

  1. Love your rings. Nigerians like oyibo accents because we suffer from inferiority complex. People now use that british accent strategy at interviews, provide you have foreign degree, even if it is only masters.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Women are afraid, that is the reason we don't climb the corporate ladder as quickly as men. Lately, I've asked myself why my male contemporaries have moved up in their careers. Male privilege is one reason. But a woman worries about finding a husband and having kids. Men don't support women's careers and ambitions. When he sees her as ambitious, he tries to cut her down by being difficult and unhelpful. I'd love a job that involves a lot of traveling. But I have young kids. My husband won't help out. I won't even get the job because my employer knows I can't travel at the drop of a hat. If you want a career, put off marrying until your 30s or 40s. And don't marry a Nigerian. Even the female surveyors aren't given opportunities because she has a uterus and will use it.

    Mallama

    ReplyDelete
  3. I totally agree with mallama
    Inferiority complex is what will make Nigerians give someone with British accent more attention...Pathetic
    I love your Rings Tee

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thelma you are looking nice.

    If you want a career in corporate, do not marry till your 30s and if you marry hold off on having kids. Its easier to do a lot of things without children and a husband career wise. I am speaking from experience.

    As for the foreign accent, Nigerians love foreigners. We jump at the sound or sight of anything imported. Its just the way we operate. My parents go out, more people remember my mom than they remember my dad even though its because of my dad she showed up in the first place.
    My mother at almost 60 is the spokes person for most of her masters classes. Because the professors listen to a foreigner - apparently. My mother has been called to help launch products she knows absolutely nothing about. A foreign accent helps in Nigeria, it sure as hell doesnt hurt unless you are dealing with area boys.

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol @ unless you are dealing with area boys

      Delete
  5. life is full of one advantage or the other. height is an advantage. gender is an advantage (depending on where u are). your pedigree is an advantage. ur appearance is an advantage. the list could go on. we may never know why they are advantages. but we can find what it is that we have as an advantage, and harness its potential as best we can.

    ReplyDelete
  6. All I can do are ur arms!!!!! Looking really good T.
    #WideGrin #ProudOfU #KeepItUp

    If accent take u farther, kindly get one. Fake or real. Na them sabi...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "All I can see" jareee

      Over zealous auto correct.

      Delete
  7. Please where is Opara Mabel?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good question, where is she really?

      Delete
    2. She's having phone problems. Just in case anyone wants to give her a phone pls mail me, I can get across to her.

      Delete
  8. Its true that the higher you go in the corporate world, the fewer women you see. And out of the few women you see, a good number of them are either divorced or widowed so they're mostly single moms. Of the 3 female executive directors we've had in my place of work, only one of them is not divorced/widowed. I don't know why this is so but that's the way it is.

    As for the accents, it does get you ahead in Nigeria. Nigerians just love foreign/imported stuff. I met this lady at an interview with one of the financial institutions early last year, she schooled in America and had an accent. Besides the accent, she was a pleasant and cool and had this way of drawing you into a conversation. Anyway, because she spoke differently than the rest of us, the staff treated her differently from the rest of the group from the very beginning of process to the end and her accent probably contributed to her success at the interview too.

    I remember when she went in to see the ED, while everybody went in calm and came out fidgety, the lady went in and was chatting with the man like they were old friends. When she came out we asked her what they were talking about like that, she said they talked about her school, things she had done, places she had been and why she wanted to work with them. Basic interview questions that he asked everybody but her schooling abroad and her accent made her answers sweeter to hear?..lol Needless to say, she landed the job.

    So yes, having a foreign accent can help you get ahead or at least skip a couple of steps.

    PS: Thelms, you're looking so trim, and beautiful. Whatever it is you're doing is working wonders on your body.

    ReplyDelete
  9. If the fonè comes with a foreign degree that's automatic employment in some useless companies o.. That's how one fonè speaking chic Hitches a ride with my friend that works in the d same company with her .. Fonè doesn't put money in your pocket. Lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lmaoooo! Choclate you dey vex o! Loooool!!! @ useless companies!

      Kabuoy

      Delete
  10. I have witnessed a scene where I had to chip in my mind. Some foreigners (lebanese o) were frustrating a Nigerian, I cldnt help but give them a piece of my mind.

    The system permits this, that's why a foreigner will come to our country with. A technical school certificate and still head a department Nigerians who have masters degree.

    As for the voice change (I don't do fone, cos I can't cope with the fakeness) I use it when need be, cos it opens doors, sad as it .

    People tend to listen to you when you show a certain level of class.

    I change my voice depending on who I am talking to. It ain't forming, but you go know say my school fees no waste. LOL

    T, you look fabulous. Please keep the fit famgoing.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Looking really good Thelma.

    On the subject of women executives, i reckon most women are not as ambitious as men because women are easily contented. Most women find fulfillment once they get married and have kids and don't feel the need to strive for "more", particularly if their husbands cater to their every need. I don't consider it bad, its just a matter of priorities.

    ReplyDelete
  12. U are looking so good. I pray for the kind of self control u have. On the issue of women being higher up in the corporate world, I think more women are content with just having enough to fund their lifestyle and providing for the family.

    ReplyDelete
  13. U are looking so good. I pray for the kind of self control u have. On the issue of women being higher up in the corporate world, I think more women are content with just having enough to fund their lifestyle and providing for the family.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thelma you look really good.

    For a woman to have a balance between running her home well and a great career, she'd need strong will and good support system, barring glass ceiling situations.

    The accent issue and the doors it most times open, can be both funny and upsetting but it's not even about to stop in Nigeria.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My sister in fact it's just starting.

      Delete
    2. Na to start cockney lessons oh... No Time!!! Lolz

      Delete
  15. its the inferiority complex in nigeria that makes us crave for anything foreign, from the accent to the skin colour to the goods and services.

    i think women have to choose between reaching great heights in their careers and being a family woman. Most women choose the later over being a career woman. but men have no such distractions that's why they can forge ahead unlike women. some women even resign from good jobs to raise a family and after having about 5-10 years off work, coming back again into the career scene won't be easy.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Lagos is indeed beautiful, I hv always wondered why few women make it to the top but really juggling a career and taking care of the kids ain't easy so something got to give

    ReplyDelete
  17. Nice pic Thelma..and ur 'selfish' caption. Lol
    maybe u should start ur own book like kim Since u love pics.
    As for d britico accent stuff, all na inferiority complex for people/companies that give them priority over other 'non-accent' well-deserving individuals.

    ReplyDelete

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