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My Big Fat Invisible Life.





In a world where mutants exist, they're hated, because naturally people hate what they don't understand, and people simply could not understand this mutation. So, they felt threatened. And in their world you'll feel threatened too. But you've got to admit, that even though you'd hate them you would love to have those powers. Haven't you ever wished you could have at least one super power? I can't give you the formula for any but one; invisibility. Want to be invisible? Simple. Be fat. 

We live in a world where you're first of all judged by how you look, before anything else. And it does not matter if you're the smartest, the nicest, the wittiest, if you're fat. Your opinions don't matter, you're never given priority, you're treated like you're less than the next person, all because you're fat. 

I watched Whitney on My Big Fat Fabulous Life yesterday. Have you met Whitney? She's one of the coolest people I've seen on TV in a while, and she's a darn good dancer too. She's got grace and fluidity on the dance floor, she pops it and drops it like its hot. Pretty amazing for someone who weighs 173kg. Yet after the release of that amazing dance video she got so much heat and bullying on the Internet and in actual life than one person should have to deal with. In one of her diary sessions after someone verbally assaulted her on the road for being fat she cried (but mind you, Whitney is not a weak person) and said, it's sad that you'll attack me for being fat. You don't know me, you don't know my life, you don't know what I'm good at, you don't know what I can do for you, but you write me off simply because I'm fat. And while I've never been that heavy, I could honestly relate. 

I've experienced what it feels like to be ignored in a room full of people, simply because you're above the weight society considers acceptable. I know how it feels to be written off even before you're given a chance. I had people treat my opinions and feelings like they're invalid all because I'm fatter than the next person. I've felt the burning sting of having a very close "friend" crop me out of ALL the pictures taken at a party because my fat ass did not go well with her cool image and cool lifestyle. I've gone on a blind date with someone my friend set me up with, only to never hear from him afterwards, because I look like a blimp (his words). Now this is not a pity party, thankfully I have the ability to shed weight fast when I want to and I'm doing just that... But, that doesn't take away from the hurt you feel when you realize that you're seen as less, simply because your waist size is more. 

My friend Nancy attended an interview, Nancy was a size 18 at the time. At the end of the interview her interviewer was kind enough to tell her she wouldn't get the job. She also gave her a little advice; you want a job, lose some weight. Nobody will take you seriously with your size, plus you don't reflect the image this brand tries to project; glamour. You can't be fat and glamorous. Ouch!


I see Nancy isn't the only one with such an experience. (Let me summarize the above. That experience lead the lady to begin her weight loss journey and so far she's lost over 30kg. Yippee!!!)

I have struggled to grasp the rationale behind this. Having been at both ends of the spectrum I've been deferred to by people because I was skinny, and been degraded by the same people because I was fat. I've marveled at their thinking. I am the same person at both times. My personality was the same, my IQ the same, my temperament the same, my achievements the same, my ideals the same... But my weight was different and that made all the difference. 

But here's the reality. Nobody owes you anything, nobody owes you respect or affection. I'm not demanding that from anyone, and I'm not demanding that you show that to someone. All I'm saying is don't be a freaking douchebag! Stop making snap judgements. If you're going to judge, ignore or despise someone, then it should be because of something they've done, not because of the way they look. Being fat does not make a person less of a person. Be kind! And if you're one of those that sneer in derision when you see an overweight person, or curse underneath your breath and mutter "fat fuck" or "fat fool", my dear you need Jesus!

And if you're overweight, nothing beats a healthy lifestyle. Eat less, eat clean and be active. Don't do it for "society". Do it because you owe it to yourself to be the best version of you you can possibly be.
       Oh, and if doing it for the meanies is the push you need, then go right ahead. Show them!



I don't mean to rant. I just felt some type of way after watching My Big Fat Fabulous Life last night, because that girl is so amazing! Granted, I wondered why she let herself get so big, especially as she's such an energetic dancer (that girl can give Kaffy a run for her money, 173kg and all!). But hearing comments left on social media by human beings made me want to puke. The world is so full of meanies!


*Looks right and you and squints eyes* Are you a meanie? 


Comments

  1. Just Like fat ple..short ple suffer too .. They say if a short and tall person walk into an office, they will attend to the tall person first .. Ple always judge based on your appearance and it's really bad.. They look at fat people as lazy and sluggish(even though some of them are ..I have seen it) but I know skinny people that are very lazy too.. It's the society we live in unfortunately ,.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Truth that short people discrimination is worse. They can never do anything about it!.
      So in a proper organisation a fat person is denied a job, they merit? Not fair.

      Delete
  2. she didn't let herself go.she has PCOS and that is why she gains weight easily and very fast. she said so herself in the 1st episode

    ReplyDelete
  3. Whitney is simply amazing and her self confidence/self love is so refreshing. I know how withdrawn and shy I was for years as I thought I was too tall at 5ft 11" (always shoulders above my peers) and too slim. I'd rather have died than walk on a road where there is traffic.

    Fast forward a couple of years later, with the help of mumsie especially, I'm beginning to feel comfortable in my own skin. I'm still work in progress though, as I don't know if I'll ever stop being shy, but I can say I'm light years away from the damaged girl I was almost becoming.

    ReplyDelete
  4. There's nothing as sexy as a lady that's confident of her looks/size..be it fat, thin,short..etc.
    It's sad that society puts pressure on such people and some loose their self esteem in d process.Having a healthy lifestyle is ideal.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think it's weird that anyone would discriminate on people simply based on their weight. Are they funny, smart, kind, intelligent, etc. And you miss out on a great person because they are fat? That's just weird. Sometimes, society might have conditioned people that way, but we have a mind so we can reason things through. I confess I will feel uncomfortable around a fat person who is eating 24/7 because, well, I don't understand the rationale. But there are many fat/big/big-boned people with healthy lifestyles.
    Like Clare said, people make judgements based on a whole lot of things - height, gender, skin colour, even hairstyle sef, as in weave = ghetto, brazilian = fab. I just think people should divert their energy to those interested in getting to know them, cos quite frankly, they are better off without the others.

    ReplyDelete
  6. hmmm..i started been called fat fool from my father as from jss2.. thats how i got to know the word.. fat fool fat fool smh. that really crushed my confidence and looking at my pictures. I wasnt FAT..chubby not fat. but the man hated himself so I guess that's why he never hesitated to call me a fat fool.
    you are right about being healthy for you.. everyone can't be a size 0-6..heck, I don't want to. I am 5'5 and in between size 12-10 and 170lbs.. my goal weight it 160-150 and i'm good..i love my curves oo

    ReplyDelete
  7. In other news, Today is my sister, Blink's birthday!!! Yippee!
    Could we please wish her a happy birthday?
    Thank you :D

    Happy birthday Blink my darling, may God continue to bless, guide and guard you today and always, Amen. :*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy Birthday to you Blink..God's blessings today and always

      Delete
    2. Happy birthday Blink. Do hv a fab celebration. God's grace ahead!!!

      Delete
    3. Happy Birthday Blink. May God bless your years.

      -F

      Delete
    4. Happy birthday blink darling... God bless you! *plenty kisses*

      Delete
    5. Happy Birthday Blink... Many more prosperous years

      Delete
  8. Happy birthday Blink, you are blessed and highly favored.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I really think fat people should divert their energy to ppl interested in associating with them because of a truth, d society or even the employers do not owe u some empathy or anything at all, there will always b smarter people in great bodies too so why risk the image of the brand, the 'fat shamed' person might have done same if the reverse was the case! Fat shaming fat people will never stop especially those that occupy 2sits in a cab and pay 4 one therby inconveniencing other people, how do u expect fellow passengers to feel? I personally have had my cousin of same agerefer to me "aunty" years ago and no it wasn't becos of mockery but becos she couldn't recognise me after so many years cos I had grown way fatter and looked older so she mistook me 4 an older stranger! My heart bled and I strtd my weight loss journey till today and my younger sister is even now bigger than I am now.

    My point being that fat ppl should care less abt fat shaming cos it won't end, live healthy and love ur life, as a matter of fat, they should get used to the discrimination because it happens to students with a 2.2 grade wen they don't even get to write aptitude test for a job to at least show what they v got upstairs b4 the interview proper even though their grade was becos they didn't 'sort' in school, some are way smarter than 2.1 students! Its everywhere, not only the fat!

    ReplyDelete
  10. It is true nobody owes you anything as such you can do what pleases you as long as you are not hurting anyone in the process.

    However, the sad state of the society we live in requires that we conform to certain standards. It is sad but it is not changing anytime soon. From being a single parent, to being too short, being fat, a man being effeminate or a lady being masculine and even in some quarters, being dark-skinned, it's sickening! We often judge the book by its cover...so sad but what can we do?

    Being yourself is good, okay but it requires some guts in some situations.

    -F

    ReplyDelete
  11. I must say people who are overweight get some side-eye stare especially in the bus or cab and i like the ones who don't even care when people start complaining....
    There are people who would pay to be fat
    I was told once when I went for one small interview that I did well but I looked too small to have graduated...so no job for me....at 5ft nd small face nd stature shey its my fault ni??
    All my friends are taller than I am but when they need help or advice they come to me....
    No matter how you look people would talk its whether you let what they say get to you that matters....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mz Gee! God wie bless you o! Loool.

      When I graduated, people would conveniently put me in SS2(the nice ones) or JSS3. My low cut didn't help matters. I told myself I won't continue like this. at 5ft 2", slim, on low cut... people easily looked at me as a "small girl" and I wasn't having it. Na so I determine to add weight and start making my hair. The hair we are talking about is didi and ajankolokolo oooo! Lmao! Fast forward to nysc camp... small chops/asun every night. big cups of milo... orisirisi. my sister... na so I booom! I became a round(short) madam! Lmaooo. As at January or feb... the bathroom scale read 71kg. na so my popsy start with me. Everybody in my house. kabuoy you're too fat.. where are you blowing up to? Opelenge! Orobo! Fatty bumbum... what did I not hear.. before I knew it...(to the glory of God) I lost 13 kg! I can see and feel my collar bones. Loool. Just monday, someone was telling me.. "ahn ahn" did they give u a pin to "deflate"? You're looking small tho... I said thank you very much! ese gaan! I will look the way I like. It's just learning to love yourself and making sure u live right/healthy. Thats what is important. Being influenced by what other people think ehn... u wie just put yourself under unnecessary pressure. Shikenah! *wipes sweat*
      My loong epistles are back...

      Delete
    2. kabuoy pls what did you do to lose weight. am 85kg and need to loose 15kg. i dont eat much.

      Delete
    3. My sister... I did a few personal retreats... errr... I won't recommend that for you.

      I also err cut down on my portions. No dinner. Last meal at 4pm.. max 5pm(thats cuz i'm always too lazy or tired to eat anything after work) cut down on fizzy drinks too. Those tins can kobalize someone's weight loss destiny!
      That's basically all. But i'm sure the retreats played the biggest role. Just eat healthy... try and exercise and no ijekuje. In no time, you'll lose it! :*

      Delete

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