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That Hurt That Makes You Want To Hurt Them More. (Ps 109).

Just some weeks ago I showed my friend this psalm and her mouth hung open. We read together and I continued to ask what kind of grievance someone could do to another, to make them "invoke" this psalm. We thought about it and shook our heads and moved on to funner things. I didn't have to wonder for long. 

Just this evening my friend calls me crying and tells me how the guy whom we had thought she was going to marry is getting married to someone else. I really feel her pain because I know that they've been through so much together, she has been through a lot because of him, and he, all the while lead her to believe that it was leading somewhere. 
     A lot of us have been in this circumstance so we know how badly it hurts. I know her story might be a bit different because she has sacrificed and lost a lot for him. Now not only did she just learn about his engagement, he also went around spreading false stories about her, to justify dumping her for someone else. 
     Amidst tears my friend says she embarking on a 7 day fast and the only prayer she will pray is Psalm 109. When she said this I shuddered. I honestly feel that this guy deserves nothing good but isn't this Psalm a bit too extreme? Now I'm asking those of you who believe in prayers, wouldn't you advise that she not bother and just accept that vengeance is for the Lord? She says if that's the case then the Psalm won't be in the Bible. Fine, but I still think it's an overkill. To be frank I've always wondered what someone could possibly do to a person to hurt them so much they that resort to this? Me, I have never been so badly hurt, and I think that no matter how terribly someone hurts me, I can never bring myself to say such a prayer. What about you? Please read the psalm below and tell me what you think.

109 I praise you, God; don't remain silent!
Wicked people and liars have attacked me.
They tell lies about me,
    and they say evil things about me,
    attacking me for no reason.
They oppose me, even though I love them
    and have prayed for them.[b]
They pay me back evil for good
    and hatred for love.

Choose some corrupt judge to try my enemy,
    and let one of his own enemies accuse him.
May he be tried and found guilty;
    may even his prayer be considered a crime!
May his life soon be ended;
    may someone else take his job!
May his children become orphans,
    and his wife a widow!
10 May his children be homeless beggars;
    may they be driven from[c] the ruins they live in!
11 May his creditors take away all his property,
    and may strangers get everything he worked for.
12 May no one ever be kind to him
    or care for the orphans he leaves behind.
13 May all his descendants die,
    and may his name be forgotten in the next generation.
14 May the Lord remember the evil of his ancestors
    and never forgive his mother's sins.
15 May the Lord always remember their sins,
    but may they themselves be completely forgotten!

16 That man never thought of being kind;
    he persecuted and killed
    the poor, the needy, and the helpless.
17 He loved to curse—may he be cursed!
    He hated to give blessings—may no one bless him!
18 He cursed as naturally as he dressed himself;
    may his own curses soak into his body like water
    and into his bones like oil!
19 May they cover him like clothes
    and always be around him like a belt!

20 Lord, punish my enemies in that way—
    those who say such evil things against me!
21 But my Sovereign Lord, help me as you have promised,
    and rescue me because of the goodness of your love.
22 I am poor and needy;
    I am hurt to the depths of my heart.
23 Like an evening shadow I am about to vanish;
    I am blown away like an insect.
24 My knees are weak from lack of food;
    I am nothing but skin and bones.
25 When people see me, they laugh at me;
    they shake their heads in scorn.

26 Help me, O Lord my God;
    because of your constant love, save me!
27 Make my enemies know
    that you are the one who saves me.
28 They may curse me, but you will bless me.
    May my persecutors be defeated,[d]
    and may I, your servant, be glad.
29 May my enemies be covered with disgrace;
    may they wear their shame like a robe.

30 I will give loud thanks to the Lord;
    I will praise him in the assembly of the people,
31 because he defends the poor
    and saves them from those who condemn them to death.


Please share your thoughts, and after reading this, do you think she should go ahead? She'll read so please talk!

And while we're talking about hurt, have you ever been so badly hurt buy someone or people that all you could do was cry out to God to hurt them just as they have hurt you? Please share with me. 

You know, me for, I find that although forgiveness can be extremely difficult, sometimes we need to do it, not for them, but for ourselves. It can be liberating. 

Good night guys. 


  1. I was going to type exactly this "although forgiveness can be extremely difficult, sometimes we need to do it, not for them, but for ourselves. It can be liberating"? It is VERY Liberating!!!

    Dear Thelma's friend, some old blog visitors know my story. I was so hurt very badly by a guy, to the point where I attempted suicide once. Oh boy, I felt so much pain that I became numb but guess what? Those pains made me STRONGER! Currently I'm Fearless! I don't get hurt past a few hours! I just shrug it off, Smile & move on!

    Believe me, God is a better judge & warrior than U & I, let God judge & repay him. He'll suffer more than ur prayers can ever cause him but at least u'll feel good knowing u are not the cause but he's reaping what he sowed.

    I'm Sorry about ur hurt, but it will PASS!!!

    1. I feel ur pain

    2. I pray this same prayer for Ruthy! I dislike her so much. A guy hurts u , and yet u keep going back to him. You then hurt other girls to by trying to take their boyfriends. You dare call God ,you ...........

  2. Wow! I don't think I've ever been hurt that bad, to want to say the prayer above for the person. I'm a very forgiving person but I do not forget and I don't think I have the heart to lay curses on anybody that has hurt me in the past. That psalm is quite intense, I think she should rather pray to God for more blessings that would make her forget what she's going through now.

  3. T, please tell ur friend that God did her a $assive favour. God just saved her from ending up with a sick liar. She should not bother about reading any psalm cus of him o. No need. She should forgive him (that we know can be difficult), and move on.
    The thing with such men is that whatever it is they did and deem smart, the repercussion is patiently waiting for them. Remember, the sins of men don't live after them, but with them.

  4. That's one serious psalm
    I've never been that hurt but that's not what someone that's has been there for another person should have to experience
    Forgiving him and letting God deal with him his way is best I tell u,you might be surprise what God has up his sleeves
    Take heart dear,right now just cry all you can and pray to God

  5. She must be hurting deeply, why do people do this to others. Why???
    My family once had reason to pray this psalm. Someone threatened my father that he will kill his children like chickens and noting will happen. He also mentioned he had noting to lose.

    My Dad thought it was mere talk until we started seeing charms all over and other diabolic acts.

    We turned to God and prayed, every night for 7 days after praising God we would read that psalm. This person (the trouble maker) was a neighbor and he even came with a native doctor to fight us. I thank God my Dad is a good man with a kind heart. People prayed with us, as we couldn't leave our house. On the 12th day, this trouble maker died in a luxury bus accident. He was the only one that died on that bus. Others didn't have a scratch on them.

    His family came to plead with my father before he could be buried.

    Nothing beats prayers, genuinely prayed with total submission to God

    1. Well said Anon. As scary as it looks, the Psalmist invokes the Name of The Lord in his affliction.There are those who sit above the *conventional* wickedness that we all are used to. Be that, or the fact that the afflicted cannot bear the depth of sorrow, this prayer is genuine with total submission to GOD. Judgement has been left to HIM.

  6. Wow!! This is dangerous prayers in action. Some people deserve all the above and more sef. For David to have written this , it must have been serious. I think she should just fast for God to strengthen her and help her forgive him. The right person will come along and she'll understand why it never worked out with this guy.

  7. Wow!! This is dangerous prayers in action. Some people deserve all the above and more sef. For David to have written this , it must have been serious. I think she should just fast for God to strengthen her and help her forgive him. The right person will come along and she'll understand why it never worked out with this guy.

  8. Do not curse. Pray that God gives you the heart to forgive and then leave it to him to fight you. J

  9. Jesus Christ! I never knew such a prayer is in the Bible o, ah! Please tell your friend to forgive, i know it's very hard but she should try. Jesus said we should forgive 70*7 times because He knows it's better than bearing grudges. It is well with her.

    1. How would u know when u don't read ur bible

  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

  11. 'Vengeance is mine'...says the Lord.

    1. Pls complete the statement

      Vengeance is mine, I will recompense says the lord

  12. Dear Lady, I understand that it is very easy to quote "vengeance is mine says the Lord" or "forgiveness liberates you"(even though it's very true) when you're not the one going through the pains and heartache.

    I think this guy has a mother interceding for him somewhere or somfn like that. Cuz i'm sure the lady would have gone on to invoke these curse on him if thelma had not posted it here.(i'm really hoping she won't)
    Imagine the "kabiti kabiti" curses he would have brought on his children and generation! It's amazing how some people are so stupid and insensitive. Unfortunately, even if she doesn't curse him... the vengeance of God won't be any less.

    Dear Lady, please use the 7days to purge yourself of any inordinate love or hate you feel towards this guy. Go to God.. cry out to him. Tell him how you feel... how badly you're hurt. Pray that the Lord gives you strength to stand even in the face of this and come out stronger. Pray that the right man that would wipe away all these tears and pain... that'll make it all worth it would come.(because nothing is impossible with God, when the lord turn the captivity of Zion, they were like them that dreamed) instead of cursing him... channel your strength into something positive for yourself cuz whether u curse him or not... he'll definitely pay for what he has done.. so no need wasting time on that.

    I remember one story posted here a couple of months ago... about a lady that was jilted by a man she was suppose to marry. She was soo broken but she went to God in prayer... and the Lord turned her story around. you can do that too... and like Ruthie said... the pain'll pass and you'll be fine! *bear hugs* it is well with you.

    1. couldn't have said it any better. Please heed Kabuoy's advice.

    2. K, you are just too much. Totally agree.

    3. Spot on! Dear Poster, Just take Kabuoy's advise.

      Know also that as sure as the dawn tomorrow morning, this pain will eventually pass. It might take some time, but it will become less and less until it doesn't hurt any more. It is well with you.

  13. Do not say such prayers for him pls always remember these

    "He who made the eyes , shall he not see?"
    "He who made the ears shall he not hear?"
    Therefore hurting lady
    "Vengeance is mine...I shall recompense"
    Did I read he spreads rumors against u?
    "He that sitteth in heaven laughs: the lord shall have them in derision"
    "Then he shall speak unto them in his wrath and vex them in his sore displeasure"

    All I am saying to you is ... Sheath thy sword, the battle is not yours, the Lord himself will fight your battle and you shall hold thy peace, PLS be still and know that he is God.

    God will give you beauty for Ashes, if I Blink can smile again then You too will get Open laughter.

    Happy new month Thelma thinks BV

    1. You like church too much this woman, see as you are just busy quoting verse for the poster God be with you too

  14. Happy New Month Thelma, Happy New Month TTBVs!

  15. Thelma. All I can say is hmmmmm.. My story: Met my ex-husband in 2008. On my first visit to his place, the family welcomed me so well. His mum gave us a wrapper which we spread on their ancient parlour floor that was where we slept for the two days. I was in my mid twenties while he was in his mid thirties then. I became uncomfortable on his family status financially. I insisted we must start building a house in his village with our salaries joined together. (both Ibo). I abandoned myself and family and faced his family and welfare. 5 years after our traditional wedding (no white wedding), things started looking better for him. He completed his house in the village. Built two in his state capital and one in his location. Opened a business for his mum and elder sister. My job started having problems. Ownership was changed; we work for months without pay. His parents and siblings changed towards me. My guy became emotionally and physically violent. I lost my self confidence, had panic attach, no child. He changed his visits from twice a month to once in two-three months. Different women started calling me to insult me over my own supposed husband. Had several STD’s. Started having gray hair. Looked older than my mother. His female siblings joined hands to fight me on two occasions on our visit to his village. (why, I should either give their brother a child or leave).He watched and even joined them to abuse me.(this guy has vehemently refused to join me to the hospital to know the cause of our infertility) It’s only his father that never supported their act (God bless him plenty) We stay in different states. His visits will not be complete without him beating me and leaving me to treat myself. Food became a luxury and I started depending on my siblings whom I abandoned for food and clothing’s while his work pays well. He finds pleasure in seeing me suffer. Stopped me from having female friends, anyone that dare come will be highly embarrassed by him. Everything was going very well for me before I married him. Things turned upside down for me while with him while everything he touched prospers. After his last beating, I told myself it’s high time I leave or die in his hands. I left, not knowing where to go to, no money to rent a house. I called him to say I am leaving, he said its good radiance to bad rubbish. I was told he came a week after I left to pack his things. Heard he is now married to another woman. Its almost a year since I left, neither he nor any member of his family has called till today to know where I am or what is happening to me.
    Thelma. I am the lady you promised to send 10k to. Have you now seen the reason I said you will never plant for another to eat???. I planted for another woman to eat. I built for another woman to inhabit. I leave all for God to judge.
    Have I forgiven him .. YES.. Will I ever forget all he did to me... Time will tell...... Will I pray psalms 109 for him... Not too sure.
    As per your friend. Tell her a broken relationship is far better than a broken marriage.

    1. wow this is a deep and sensitive topic, May God replace double of what the canker worm has stolen from every hurt person. Happy new month TTB, this is a great month can feel it already.

    2. reading your story made me drop a tear. God will restore all you have lost. You will marry the husband that will give you abundance joy and peace. You will have your own children. You will come back here to testify of the goodness of God. You will be a positive inspiration to those who are going through turbulence in their marriage. Wish you are here. Want to hand over a gift to you. You are really a strong woman. e-hugs.

    3. Wow! This is sad.

      This story and Thelma's post is saddening.

      You and the poster will be healed and blessed in many folds. Just know you both will testify.
      That is what I know.

    4. Amen Amen Amen in Jesus name...

    5. Reading your story just brought tears to my eyes, I kept waiting for the happy ending, I am sure one day, you will smile and rise above your trepidations. I know how you must feel, my mom went through the same thing with my dad, thank God she is a strong woman just like you. My father is the reason I made up my mind to always put my woman first, cos I was my mom's confidant, I was the one she would run and talk to when my dad was giving her troubles, despite the fact I was just a kid then barely a teenager. My dad wouldn't even pay for our school fees back then, he totally abandoned his family like we were a plague, he hated us wouldn't even come home for weeks sometimes, and when he did, it was just so he could come give my mom the beating of her life and call her a witch. Yet my mom was excited at every opportunity to support him when he needed it. My mom never left my dad, she stayed and endured the shit my dad gave to her day in and out all because she wanted to raise us right, a plan I dissuaded her from every opportunity I got back then. Long story short, he is on his own now, he never deserved a woman like my mom, and two great boys like my brother and I. I haven't spoken to him in years, neither has my brother. I proposed to my beautiful girlfriend Jan 1st 2015, and hope to get married to her soon God willing, and I made a promise to myself NOT to be a man like my dad. I love my Fiancee with every bit of breathe in me. And plan to love my kids beyond measure too. God help us all. God bless you and I will always remember you in my prayers.

    6. This story is so sad. May the lord turn your sorrow into dancing. He will put laughter in your heart and joy in your soul. He will make everything that concerns you beautiful and perfect. All those who have mocked and ridiculed you, he will bless you and turn your life around for the absolute best in their presence. Just hang on to God. Keep praying, and keep improving on yourself.

    7. God will turn your reproach to glory... It won't be long

    8. No matter how bleak the situation presents itself, no matter how gloomy or how hopeless, just remember God is in Control. He would never let evil have the last laugh over you. I pray that soonest you'd be able to look up to Him and say a massive thank you over your predicament.

  16. we should all realize God is not mocked, whatever a man sow that he shall reap, in one form or the other, I don't know if those prayers work, but whatever will let her release the pain in her heart that is not endangering anyone physically or diabolically.

  17. No evil will go unpunished whether or not you say that prayer.

  18. How can someone hurt a fellow being that much.. Not to talk of a once lover. She should go ahead with her prayers cos when Christ says we should pray for our enemies he didn't give us prayer point so whosoever like to be praying prosperity prayers for their enemies should go ahead.. He that wears knows where.........

  19. Anonymous Rider!10:37 am, June 01, 2015

    Hmmmm< God just spoke to me with this Post. I have been reading the blog in the last month but just couldnt comment. I have shrunk to a depressing 45KG. The Hurt, Pain, Lies, Deceit< Maliciousness. Oh my God, I havent slept for 3 hours straight in the last month.
    Why another human being will chhoose to cause you pain is beyond me,
    Truly a man's enemies are those of his own household.
    I dont know how I will ever recover from this, I wont Pray this Psalm< I forgive< I just need to forget and stop waking up with bitterness and no direction.

    1. 45kg OMG that sooo very under weight and very dangerous too. I beg you in the name of God, try and snap out of it. Your joy is within you, you just have to reach it and possess it.

      No man can give you peace and joy only God. This is the time to show you have faith in God by reaching out and taking his hand. Trust that he will never give you a load that you cannot handle. 45kg! Mbanu.

      I had a very bad experience in my first relationship, the only way I got through that period was to reach within for that joy and embrace God like I have never done before. If it will help please confide in someone that will help you get through because the mode you are in now is a self destructive mode. God is your strength. J

    2. O my God! Anonymous rider... you'll be fine. Please snap out of the depression. please... its not worth i at allt! there are too many things in life to be happy about. don't forget joy comes in the morning. Please rejoice even before the morning comes. it is well with you. i wish i can hug you right now! what happened to my happy, vivacious, witty and bubbly Anonymous rider. Please come back to us! Love you plenty! :*

    3. So much hurt and pain on this blog right now. May the lord Heal your heart, take away your pain and ease the hurt. Please be strong and encourage yourself in the Lord. It is well with you ma'am and this current situation, whatever it may be, will end in praise and testimony.

      Anonymous Rider, please don't think too much. Please eat and rest more I beg you.
      God bless you.

    4. Anonymous Rider!4:53 pm, June 01, 2015

      Thank you all, To think I almost made this comment as Anonymous.

      I appreciate the kind words and prayers.

      May Heaven's Light contiunally be our guide.

    5. It is refreshing to hear that God still speaks to you in this your trying time. I'm certain he'd also want to let you know that this hurt or depression you are allowing to get the better of you is not worth it. You are far more beautiful, valuable and estimable than whoever seeks to cause you much grief.

      Great to also know you have made a choice to choose the forgiveness path. I'd encourage you to also choose healthier paths like letting go of the bitterness, finding the joy in living, eating and gaining some more weight and also finding something worthwhile and salutary to do with your time.

      We aren't always guaranteed that life would be a roller coaster all year round, we are only guaranteed that He'd always walk us through all circumstances in life. Trust me, that is a better guarantee for if you be for God, who can be against you?

  20. Your friend needs to understand that the guy doesn't deserve her. She'll find someone else who worships the very ground that she walks on.

  21. God will make all things beautiful dear poster, also to the lady who received shoes from Thelma,it is well with you.

    God will speak on your behalf and he will respond. Mightily and speedily in Jesus Name.


  22. To the poster and Anons above, there is a Balm in Gilead. A God that is fair and just even if His judgements sometimes confound us. It is well dears... just let go and let God! Easier said than done, yes! But your Joy will be so much more restored in the doing of it...

  23. Sad.. d evil that men do. Ve had terrible rships too. We will always forgive. God is faithful.

  24. Whether you say this prayer or not God will recompense. However i have known Him to deal better blows if one just leaves the "type" of punishment up to Him.

  25. forgive is divine.

  26. Don't say the prayer please. Don't curse innocent children, let God handle him. I could have been a murderer in 2012, someone God sent to toast me ended up ministering to me. I am not a bible thumper, but when i say God is faithful and he will never give you more than you can handle, i am living proof.

    Pray, fast for strength, for a spirit of forgiveness, and let light into your heart. Your triumph is when light is in your life.

    Many people attempt to play God in other people's lives, and God comes back and shows all of that only he is God.

    All i can say is that ultimately Na Godwin. Your victory is closer than you realise.

  27. This prayer isn't realy for people who have been hurt. But persons facing satanic oppressions/ attack. It's more effective wen u stand naked and pray it in d midnight. As for ur friend make she think of d innocent unborn children. Abeg it's not worth it. Wat if she curses d mans unborn children then tomoro one of dem cum marry her pikin the curse too go cum turn dey follow her pikin. Make she leave vengence to God!

  28. How i got my boyfriend back.Am Stacey Bruno by name I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster once when i went to see my friend in Indian this year on a business summit. I meant a man who's name is Dr ATILA he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one's gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I'm now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 5 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn't believe it cos the Dr ATILA only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is:

  29. some point in my life....Yes! I have said this psalm and Yes! it does work wonders.....sooo erhm, if you aint ready to see what God is gon' unleash on that said person...stay away from this psalm...

    Howdy mami..

  30. Hi! I want to share my situation We’ve been together for almost 5 years. We broke up 5 months ago because of another girl. Eventually, their relationship lasted only for a month because the girl broke up with him and every time he needs someone to talk to, he always call me. I listen to him even if it hurts. I need get him back and my last chance was love spell . Entered on the website , because I read that he has a lot of positive feedback. I’m not disappoint. My lover back to me in only one month. We are happy couple now.


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Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
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One More Post...


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swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
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After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
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with a packet of durex condom.
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A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


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BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Closed Chapter...

Hello everyone, yesterday a friend said to me, Thelma I love your blog, I've told so many people about your blog, I think you're a very good writer but I feel there's something you're not doing right"

This friend was the first person who won our beauty of the day contest back then in 2014. Then we had met just once through a mutual friend. I mentioned the blog to her and she became an instant reader. I wouldn't have exactly called her a friend then but yesterday as we sat down waiting for our Uber to come get us from Wal-Mart, she's definitely my friend and I knew she was coming from a good place when she said she had much higher expectations of my blog.

Me too.

But you see, in the last year or so, maybe even longer than that, I haven't felt much joy in blogging. It began to feel more and more of a laborious chore, one which I hardly reaped any fruits from.

I really love writing, I love sharing my life and my experiences with others and I've enjoy…

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa