I am sharing this because nobody ever listens to the man's side of the story. Once they hear that you cheated and you marry the other person then suddenly you're the spawn of Satan. Yes I cheated on my ex girlfriend and I married the girl I cheated on her with. Admittedly my ex is very pretty, she is nice, she is a decent cook and was very good in bed. In fact she was better at almost all these things than my wife but I cheated on her. I feel terrible because she did not deserve that from me, but it is what it is and you are free to call me names.
My ex and I had dated eight months when I met my wife. Honestly I was not ready for marriage or planning to marry then but I thought that when I was ready I would marry my ex. When I met my wife she didn't know about my ex because I noticed she liked me and I thought that I could have some fun with her. I'm not proud of this, I was younger and less conscientious back then. I didn't even plan to sleep with her but I thought a little fun wouldn't hurt, it would not last longer than one of two weeks and my ex will never find out.
She called me quite often and invited me for drinks once. Actually she was the one who made the first move, like I said, she didn't know I was in a relationship. Most young ladies think it is a crime to make the first move on a guy. She wasn't desperate or pushy, she just let me know that she liked me and she was interested. After the first time we had drinks I found her to be very interesting and stimulating so the next week I invited her to my house. Then I was planning to either tell her about my ex or sleep with her and cut her off. None of that happened.
First, she wanted to see my CV. I showed it to her and she made some pointers, she started to make some very intelligent points I had not thoughts about and began to ask about my career plans and long term goals. Long story short, she stayed for hours but I didn't even think about sex and guess what, I forgot about my ex. My wife took my CV home and the next day she sent me an edited copy. She had given my CV a makeover, which really appealed to a lot of employers. We started getting closer and soon she started to urge me to take the GMAT exam and other courses and apply to some American universities. She said I was very smart and that I could do more than I was doing. I never planned to further my studies and I thought I was comfortable where I was. But I started taking GMAT classes, she coached me and would call me often to make sure I was studying and asked if I needed help. During this time my ex knew I was practicing for GMAT but she didn't ask me why. She would just come to my house as usual and suggest that we go out, then we would come back and have sex. In a short time I began to compare my ex to my wife and I began to see so many things lacking in her character but I remained in the relationship.
My wife pushed me, she made me work harder and push myself. Shortly after, I got a promotion and a raise at work. Management wasn't planning on doing this but I later learnt that with my new ethics and results I had become more valuable to the organization. She pushed me to look for opportunities to better myself. The first time I took the GMAT and a few other board exams I passed. I even got accepted to Stanford University! I had to defer my admission because of financial constraints but you can imagine how proud I was, I, that went to a polytechnic!
At this point I had started dating my wife and my ex had started noticing changes in me. She knew there was someone else but she was satisfied with being number 1 even if I had others. She just accepted that all men cheat and that I simply was having fun but she was "the main chic". My wife on the other hand had found out about my ex at that point and insisted that I either break up with my ex or forget about her. She said she refused to share a man, if she didn't know about my ex then that was different, but she would never date me knowing my ex was there. Even at that we had a relationship, but without sex because I was still with my ex, that was her condition.
I didn't mind, my wife meant more to me than sex. She could hold her own in the presence of substantial people. My colleagues and bosses met her and they would later comment in the office about how brilliant and nice she is. She was a good conversationalist and she made me THINK. She made me have a new perspective on things and ask why or why not. It wasn't about sex or cooking with her, she really knows what it means to add value to someone's life. She didn't keep too many friends or spend time gossiping or talking about people she doesn't know. She was very focused and constantly doing something to improve herself.
She also put me on my toes. My ex was accepting of "all of me" including all my flaws, but my wife didn't take any bullshit. If I did something she didn't like she will ask me to cut out the bullshit or get lost. She kept me on my toes and it made me respect her even more. She had standards and she didn't compromise them for me even though she loved me. She called me out on any nonsense I did and made me apologize and do better. At this point I was already in love with her.
Guess what, my wife was four or five years younger than my ex, but she was so much more mature and wiser. She knew what she wanted and wasn't afraid to ask for it. She is not as pretty as my ex but then it doesn't matter.
I was afraid to lose her so I proposed to her. Remember that I said I wasn't ready for marriage, when I met my wife I wanted to marry! Our families met and started making plans, that was when we first had sex and she almost immediately became pregnant. I was overjoyed but something bothered me, my ex still didn't know.
My ex was trying her best, cooking for me whenever I told her I was in town. I had to lie a lot in order to protect my relationship with my wife. Besides that, I did a lot of traveling with my wife. She encouraged me to invest in travel, to visit other parts of the world and broaden my horizon and views. Back then she usually paid her own way while I paid mine, but when I could afford it I footed our costs. My ex didn't know that I was making these trips with my wife to be.
She found out about my wife after the introduction and threatened hell and brimstone. Unfortunately at this point I was more or less a married man and nothing could be done.
Do I feel guilty? Of course. The truth whether you like it or not, is that most single guys have the main girlfriend and then one or two others on the side they just have fun with (I am not saying it's a good thing but it's the reality). Also, they may or may not be sexual with the side chics although in most cases, they are.
However, sometimes the side chic proves to be of more value, substance and worth than the main chic. So even though you really cherish your main chic, she may be very hot, good in bed and her food may be better than jevenik, but when you meet someone that epitomizes everything that a good wife is, it is hard for a man to ignore that person. Remember that when you're looking for a wife, you're also thinking about somebody that will be a good mother to your children, someone that was take care of the home, and somebody that can hold the fort when you are not there. Your wife is like your ambassador most times and she is for life, so most men are very careful when it comes to selecting one.
So I feel very guilty about treating my ex the way I did, she really is a good person. But with the most serious things in life we need to be selfish. I found my wife and I was going to make her mine, even if it meant hurting someone else for a little while.
Ladies and gentlemen, I wrote the above but the story isn't mine. The guy is too lazy to write a submission but I just needed to share his story becasue I learnt some things and I knew you might too.
The way we got to talking about this, I was insulting him for being a mean selfish cheating male who mislead and dumped his babe to marry some random chic. He then decided to shush me and for the first times since I started teasing him several months ago, told me his side. This happened last night after I recovered from the airport runs, we sat down for drinks at a neighbourhood bar/lounge and we had this very interesting conversation. I was taking notes as he was speaking. Of course the words are mine, English isn't one of his strong suits (ROTFL, told Ya I would say this *tongue out*) LOL.
Yes, he was selfish and what he did was wrong. But after hearing his side of the story I got a new insight into things.
In all, what are your thoughts on the account above? Agree, disagree, like, dislike, been somewhere similar...? Let's talk.