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You've Got To Read This Rant. & Feel Free To Drop Yours.

What wouldn't we see on social media. Good Lord!



I met you here on facebook. It was love at first sight and I thought that could be it. We exchange contacts eventhough I rarely scout girls like that. We started chatting on whatsapp, going for months without meeting each other. We later agreed on how to meet because you dont stay in Lagos; only for you to tell me that the venue we would(must) be meeting should be a Fast Food Joint. Are you a material?
I know you are seeing what I posted. Yes, I did it that way so that you will equally see it and let all my friends be the judge since it was the reason we quarelled. I have the money but going to Fast Food joints like Mr Biggs to meet each other for the first time is enough serious bad signal to me. When God give some women an opportunity to have true friend they blow it up due to greediness. Sweetheart you exposed yourself. Why cant you mention one “buka” like that? Or maybe we should meet at a provision shop. I dont know if I am done with you by way of provocation due to what I posted, but if you do, please dont commit such blunder across someone else that might fall for you like I did. I am not looking for a date, I am looking for that girl that would be my ambassador when I am not there in the family; that would thoroughly represent me as a wife material; that my ever critical mother will embrace and became receptive of(although this is optional, because me loving you first is all that matters, I can handle her issues). For us going to Fast Food joint is a bad omen for my pocket. What if there were monies for such places and I finally made you mine and those monies vanished. Cant we adapt? Are my kids and your persons always going to patronize Fast Food Joints. Some girls are not worth it. Only God can save us men from making bad choices as regard to the issue of marriage because all that glitters are not gold.
__Apologist Azolike Nonso Afamefuna

You've just read The rants of a dim semi-literate igbo man. 
You know what got me? "My ever critical mother....", the Mr Biggs lady, who ever you are, where ever you may be, thank your stars, you just dodged a bullet! 

***
Hey y'all, I've got my own rants too, if you're in Nigeria right now and you don't have any, then I must say, you're a better, more virtuous person than I am.

Rant 1. "NEPA"
Rant 2. Dear Sun, we know you're the hottest thing in the world, nobody is competing with you. Stop showing off already!
Rant 3. Would have been rant 1 but thankfully they've started selling fuel. 
Rant 4. I've cancelled a trip three times for three different events and each of these three times these events get cancelled/postponed too. I mean, I already spent an outrageous amount on a few liters of fuel, against tomorrow, only to be slapped with an email; event postponed. Aarrrrrghhhhhhh!
Rant 5. I have so many submissions coming in, YAY!!!!!!!! but they are all oral *Sobs*. Why do you people want to make life harder than it has to be na? You think writing is fun, abi? They'll call my phone and give oral submissions and say "please post today" Side eye. You know yourselves. LOL. The idea is partly so ease the stress. But I love love love you and I love that you're making a great contribution to our blog. *confession* if an idea isn't originally mine, I find it a bit more difficult to put in words. Plus I stall because I worry that my words won't convey your message accurately. But I will get to it soonest. I promise. 

These are my rants. Where's yours?

Comments

  1. I didnt know when i wrote an epistle on my site...no fuel, no light, no internet service. So what exactly is there?

    And i wasnt "finna" buy black market fuel - according to my mom "dem piss inna d petrol to make more volume ". I dont have money for new engine please.

    Consulting pays during moments like this. I even told a client i am not in town. Well mentally i am not in town so its not a lie. I cancelled all my meetings last week.

    The guy in the Mr. Biggs speech is cheap. He should keep his n2k and further his education English wise.

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. *claps hands together* the guy has some lose screws playing around in his head! Hahahahaa! Like is he really serious?!!!! :o. Egbami! Are there really people like this?!!! Lmaooo! This is funny and ridiculous to say the least! Mstchew! Orisirisi! *smh*


    Thelma... my rant! no light! Fuel scarcity! Overtly expensive transport fare... like * 3!!! i'm like why is Nigeria like this. People are suffering and they are making life harder for the poor masses. I just think it's unfair! Really! It's just sad. If I didn't have fuel in my gen! Omoh! This rant would have tripled. Do you know that on Wednesday, more than 10 staff buses didn't run because there was no fuel! Like I had to enter a different bus just because it was available... it's just really upsetting. and to think we have oil. It's just crazy!!!! How are people suppose to run their businesses smoothly... let me just stop here for now. It is well!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. 1.Nepa what the hell...is it till this heat kills us before things get better
    2.Dear Mr sun pls calm down..I can't remember the last time I wore makeup
    3.Am currently looking for a part time job but nothing seem to be coming..am soo angry
    I need to be busy..anybody know where I can volunteer and work in Abuja..Thanks in advance

    ReplyDelete
  4. My period is late. I am afraid to check becuz I am afraid of the result. I cannot have a dnc but I heard about a pill that u put under your tongue and afta sum hours you start to bleed, instead of going to remove it in the hospital. I know this is not a rant but I don't have anybody to talk to.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello anon, your period might be late cos you've been stressing about it, just check first before you use the wrong medication.

      Take care of u

      Delete
    2. Dear,

      go to a lab, run a blood test then make a decision. If you insist on unprotected sex, go to a family planning clinic and insert a copper IUD. It will protect you from pregnancy but not STIs.

      Mallama

      Delete
  5. That Afam somebody is an ignoramus and dear Ms Mr. Biggs just doged herself a stray bullet. Sule!

    My Rants..
    1) NEPA! Gosh! I cant even remember the last time i saw light in this house. Thieving scums. My grand parents live in a one storey building that has 2deep freezers, 2 fridges, lots of flourescent tubes and bulbs, a microwave, dispenser, etc, I live in the bq that has just 4 flourescent tubes,5 bulbs and a TV. I switch off all the lights and sometimes change over to gen before i go out in the morning, i dont ever meet light at home in the night yet, my grandparents's Nepa bill is 1500 max while mine is 5k max every month. We live in the same compound o! I just tire for these guys

    2) The heat! This dry season should just do and pass biko.

    3) Work! I keep telling them that they dont pay me well enough to work 3hrs over time every frigging day but do they listen? No! I come home exhausted everyday and the whole thing continues the next day..smh. I need a new job*wails*

    4) Why oh why cant i eat whatever i like and still remain a size 8 with flat tummy? The only good thing about this yeye wieght gain is the additional asset i acquired*wink*. For real tho... I like food, cant i just eat it without fear of becoming an Iya apati?

    5) The cost of transportation these day is something else. I must have spent like 2k5 on transport between yesterday and today alone. Can these bus drives just stop exploiting pple in the name of fuel scarcity? Its so not fair.

    6) MedPlus increased the price of Extra chewing gum to N400 from N350 within 1week! That's just cruel :(

    Thelma I see u o... issokay

    ReplyDelete
  6. My project supervisor rejected three topics I submitted to him on really endulging topics I would have loved to write on. I pray he doesn't reject any after this.

    NEPA. They only bring the light when you really don't need it.

    Money is so hard to come by these days and I'm scared I won't get a good job when I graduate.

    A sociolinguistic analysis of this Apologist's speech should be done.


    -Nwauche




    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nwauche it can be very frustrating when they reject topics, especially when it's one that you have all figured out. I hope he at least tells you why he's rejecting them so as to guide you in picking the next one.

      Delete
  7. I went to spend a weekend at my supposed fiance'do and I was leaving on Fri night then he begins to text this other chic to come over. I'm do disappointed. Haven't taken his calls. Someone I'm planning intro with. I just don't know what to do

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shal, the ball is entirely in your court. These are the things that we see, and we make excuses, rationalize, then try to ignore and continue a relationship with someone we know isn't right for us.

      Delete
  8. Why would any renowned professional boxer be throwing single punches at a time against Mayweather who moves too quickly and connects with combos? Pacquiao, why???? I'm so pissed!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lool, overhyped match, I hope the people that paid over 50 thousand dollars for front row seats don't ask for their change. The lady scared of getting a job after grad, a positive mindset is the first step to being ahead, cast such fears aside.

      Delete
    2. Overhyped of course, stay awake till the wee hours of the morning just to watch boxing? Yimu! Even if twas Zeus and Thor throwing punches, I'll still choose my precious sleep

      Delete
    3. Buahahahahahahhaha. Zeus and Thor, now that I can stay awake for, provided I get a ring-side seat.

      Delete
    4. Memphis I was disappointed too, the match didn't live up to all that hype. I don't understand what really happened with Manny it was disappointing but it is what it is.

      Delete
  9. just why??? I wanted Floyd to win but this was so so predictable. #notimpressed

    and Floyd's celebration ... pft.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ok,now I'm confused. Pls who won???

      Delete
    2. Lol,just checked twitter! Yep,Mr Mayweather!!!!!

      Delete
  10. That mr.biggs guy needs a brain reset. He expects the babe to choose his place so he can rape abi??..foolish excuse for a boy.
    Rant:May God help our country Nigeria..and seriously, that match was seriously overhyped!!! Good for Mayweather though.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Rant no 1: This tummy isn't shrinking!
    Rant no 2-10: Refer to no.1

    Sigh:-(

    ReplyDelete
  12. Rant 1. This Lagos traffic is so horrible. Makes me want to scream. Monday morning and am wasting precious time in traffic!
    Rant 2. Why does delicious food have to be fattening?
    Rant 3. Cant believe i spent precious time watching 2 men dance around in the ring like Lagos agberos. No blood, no puffed faces. Tyson should have gone into the ring and taught them a thing or 2!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Okay the comments are hilarious!!! I read this post yesterday buh I didn't finish reading it....The comments are funny....I know y'all are ranting buh this was fun to read.....Do I have something to rant bout?!? **thinking** Erhmmmm ya! That dog of mine needs a partner so that he stops driving me nuts.....

    Hiya mami...Phew! Caught up on all I missed...Muah mami!

    ReplyDelete
  14. The Sun, NEPA & Fuel and the hype in tfare....these are enough to frustrate a saint! these days my mum always goes, 'I am leaving this country!' D tindey make me laff cause she no even get Passport! Hmmmm...I pray, i really pray things improve in this country cause I don tire to dey complain......#JoyDaNuGirl

    ReplyDelete
  15. The power crises, fuel and sun is not only in Nigeria, Ghana is getting worse by the day and trust me the Cedi depreciates at its own pace.. God help Africa..

    ReplyDelete

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Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
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(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
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Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
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