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Is Anyone Worth Dying For? (Play In-house Relationship Counsellor)


Read. Enjoy. Comment. 





When I was much younger, I had this family friend I felt deeply sorry for. Like, terribly sorry. So, she broke up with her boyfriend and his immediate course of action, after trying and failing to win her back, was to take his own life. I wondered how it must feel to shoulder that burden. I mean, she didn't commit murder, but wouldn't she somehow feel like she might have as well forcefed him the poison he ingested? I wondered how she felt. If she knew that her breakup would lead to his death, would she have just stayed on, not loving him yet staying, just so life could go on? Or did she shrug her shoulders and say "not my fault" and move on with her life?

Ever since then I've wondered about people who commit suicide because they've been jilted by a lover. I know the mind-numbing pains of heartbreak. I know we all have different thresholds for pain, but how painful can pain be to pain less than one's own death? 

I totter between thinking that anybody who commits suicide, regardless of whatever they think or say is the reason, has a mental illness. And thinking it might be possible for a person to build their life around someone else, so everything they do, think, have, plan, foresee, is related to and hinged on that person. So that when this person says they're no longer interested in being a part of their life, they look but cannot see a life without them, and decide therefore that life is no longer worth living. 

Whatever the case may be, there was life before a person came, surely there must be life after the person leaves, if they leave. So what gives? 

A doctor friend of mine once had a patient at LUTH who attempted suicide. Why? Girlfriend said she's not doing again. My friend later said; "when you see the babe sha, you sef will understand why the guy wanted to off himself. The girl fine dieeeeee!" LOL. We had a laugh but it was no laughing matter. Had he not been found on time and had his belly pumped, this brother might be medical students' cadaver by now. Just another suicide statistic. 

And why I'm so keen on this suicide after a breakup matter this afternoon, is because of the recent case of the 26 year old girl in Delta state who committed suicide after a breakup call. This is how Bella Naija reported it;  

"Sources said the girl was in high spirits in her hostel but her mood changed dramatically and she became dejected after her fiance called her on phone to declare that their relationship over. She was said to have bought some drugs, claiming she was having a head ache and went into her room, leaving a message for roommate that they might not see again. Few minutes later, her roommate who sensed something terrible was going on, raced into the room and found her lying lifeless on ground. She she raised an alarm that attracted other students to the room, but before help came the girl’s way, she had given up the ghost.". (May her soul rest in peace. Unfortunately the young man, whom I cannot fault, will be in someone else's arms a few weeks from now...)
I hear the guy at LUTH whose suicide attempt was botched is presently doing extremely well. Oil "big boy", married with a kid and another on the way. And these days he cannot imagine what must have gotten into him. He understands love. He understands that he loved his ex very much. But he still cannot understand why he thought his only resort when she ended the relationship was suicide. Needlesstosay, to say he is happy that he's still alive today is an understatement. 
Regardless of how hopeless a situation is, it will do you well to always bear in mind the transient nature of life. Think about the thing that made you terribly depressed and frustrated two years ago. Does it still matter now? I sincerely doubt it. Don't worry, this one will pass. If you enjoy being depressed so much, I assure you that this one will pass and soon you'll find something else to depress you. If for nothing else, keep yourself alive for the intrigue and mystery, the "what happens next". Haha!
But on a more serious note guys, let's talk. We all have our broken hearts and battle scars, have you ever thought the only way out after a failed relationship, was death? What brought you out of your gloom 'n' doom? 
Play in-house counselor for the day. How would you suggest people prevent themselves from completely losing their minds/sanity/hope in the event of a failed relationship? 
I say
-The only person who is beyond disappointing you is God. In relationships, leave room for disappointment. Hope for the best, pray for the best, prepare for the worst. 
-Don't build your life around someone else. While you might love them and make them a big part of your life; have your own life independent of them, maintain your individuality, do your own things, have your own friends. 


What do you say?


Comments

  1. Dont build your life completely around someone except its God
    My slogan for any depressing thing that has ever happened to me is this too shall past
    i've never thought about sucide and I pray I never do

    ReplyDelete
  2. I say leave room for disappointment just like u say thelma, I think of the fact that this people who break our hearts aren't God,therefore they are not perfect,I am of the opinion that u don't put or give in ur 100% in a relationship as long as it ain't marriage, when u have such mindset then whatever comes at the end wouldn't shake u totally. I love love love but I do not love with my eyes closed nor do I love with my senses all shut out. The girl who killed herself didn't even think of the fact that God would question her for taking her own life cos this is automatic murder.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Suicide is never an option!
    I will always say this before u get upset/depressed always ask yourself :will this even matter in six month,in a year,or in five years? If the answer is No then just LET IT GO...
    Love urslf above all, put urslf first in any relationship u find urslf in.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm echoing ur thoughts Ma'am...
      Honestly, I can't play counsellor on such matters cos I was a total mess when mine happened...
      It's all GOD sha. ALL GOD! PRAYER is key!

      In other news, I see i have another troll on this blog talking about me sleeping with "close" friends husbands in PH & Lag!
      Dear Anon, I agree oh! There are some in Abuja, Jos, Lagos & Warri just incase U didn't get the right memo!

      But was/is it ur hubby? ROTFLMSAO!

      I've heard worse Biko. When U have better, come back here!!!! I can't be fazed... NEVER!
      Stop hiding behind anonymous na. Have some balls even if na table tennis balls & reveal ur TRUE identity! Rabbish!!!

      Delete
    2. Ruthy na u and who kwa???hiannn,easy ohhh nne.

      Delete
  4. I have had my heart broken a couple of times but have never "seriously" considered suicide. The break up will most definitely but you will move on, you have to.

    How do you keep from losing your mind? Like you said, have a life independent of your bf/gf, dont build your life/happiness around him/her. Be confident in your own skin and love yourself first before another.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Smh @ "never "seriously" considered suicide" oooo gada together!



      Ehen jare, Thelma o baby... you don talk am finish... what you think your whole life depends on... would it matter in the next 3 years. iv been pondering over this for a while now... and i'm really thinking of talking to the teenagers in my church about it sef. Not the committing suicide or broken heart part o. Lol.

      Delete
  5. I'm a firm believe of the saying, when one window shuts in your face, a bigger door is being opened.

    Suicide is not and will never be an option.

    No one is worth the wahala. Only Jesus/God loves unconditionally.

    When you have too many expectations from humans be ready to be disappointed.

    ReplyDelete
  6. If anyone is not bothering about you why to bother about them. Thinking to die is not the solution of every problem. Consider to undergo counseling sessions and make yourself strong enough to deal with any situation.

    ReplyDelete

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