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Question Of The Day..





This was a hot topic some years ago and one woman said her husband comes first, before her children. Her answer was so controversial that it landed her on Oprah or some huge talk show (I think it was Oprah). Most people were shocked, popular consensus was that any parent should put the kids first before the spouse, and I strongly agreed. 

But this was years ago, and I don't feel so strongly anymore. I won't so readily say my kids will take front seat in my heart. They may, they may not. I don't know, but I know I no longer feel it's outrageous for hubby to be my number 1 and then the kids. 

I got to talking with a group of interesting folk this evening, all married, all parents. And opinions were actually split. Some said you can never vouch for spouse but you can for the kids, to a reasonable extent. Others said your vow is to your spouse, and if not for your spouse then you wouldn't have had those children. Also remember that one day the kids will grow and leave and start their own families. And no, of course you wouldn't be no. 1 to them. Also, who are you left with; spouse!

It was a very interesting talk and I would love to hear what you think. Married, fathers, mothers, singles... Who takes front seat in your heart, who comes first for you; your spouse or your children? And why?

Comments

  1. My children. My dear husband may decide he does not want to be with me anymore. He wants himself an Iara. I want my boys not be afraid of a woman who earns an income. They should know how to nurture a woman. I need to mould them to find their path in life. If spouse is still around when they leave the nest, then we will hold hands. My children have the front seat.

    Mallama

    ReplyDelete
  2. Spouse should thou cos without them you won't have the kids and your vow is to him/her and your reason for getting married shouldn't just be to have kids but to have someone you love to grow old with and experience all of life's wonderful adventures

    ReplyDelete
  3. i think it depends on one's stage in life..my kids are still young and cant fend for themselves.. my children come first because I am their provider.. my husband is a grown man so he should be able to respect that.. now, as we get older my kids are older.. hubby can be furst on the line..

    ReplyDelete
  4. My kids come first biko because hubby can decide to change or sing a different tune but my kids would always be number one,though I had them through him but the kids come first in my heart,that doesn't mean I wouldn't take care of hubby or love him for ever, but u know how it is with the cord that binds a mother and child together.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I wanted to scream my hubby but I thought of how much I love my lil cousins now (2 n 7 yrs old) doz kida are everthing to me and it kinda makes me feel I'd let my kids in d frst seat!

    ReplyDelete
  6. My hubby but together our child is our priority. Especially when they r still small. As much as I love my hubby since having my Lil girl his rank as really dropped but it doesn't mean he is less important to me. Just that life comes in stages. In short they both come first lol

    ReplyDelete
  7. My hubby comes first in my heart.

    ReplyDelete
  8. When we entered into the marriage covenant, there were no children. They came later because they are gifts from God. My wife will always be in the front seat and I too should be in her front seat. The children are our collective responsibility.

    When a focus on the kids and not on themselves, it never ends well. There'this thing I read from somewhere that a man does not need to show his kids that he loves them, all he has to do is to love their mum and they blossom from it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I want a Man that thinks like this...

      Delete
  9. My husband will ALWAYS come first...with or without kids mehn...that guy is my everything...

    ReplyDelete
  10. My hubby first and first..

    Www.trendwithgloria.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. My husband comes first....marry a good person and they will make you want to put them first. Kids are a collective responsibility.


    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I want to fe this way about my future Hubby too oh!!!

      Delete
  12. My husband comes first. My children are given to me to nurture and then let fly. Most parents forget that and cleave to their kids even after they should have left the nest. If you put your kids first you should be ready to fly with them when they leave the nest, abi is it the man you put 2nd for 20 years plus that you will now prioritize?

    ReplyDelete

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