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Toke Makinwa, Ikedi Ohakim, You... What Have I Missed?

Hey lovers!

I'm so happy to be back, I missed TTB and the family terribly. I actually didn't take a break, you don't take such a long break from something you love so much. I needed to have things taken care of and although I'm not done yet, I realized that staying away longer would simply be me taking the piss. So, I had to switch the phones on, grab my iPad, renew my wiFi connection and at least find out what's going on. I'm happy to be back and I wouldn't lie, it feels good to know that some people missed me. 
    One of the things Fela Durotoye said at the conference just last week is that if you're somewhere your absence isn't missed or noticed, then you're on the wrong track. He said your impact is created by the vacuum your absence creates. While I don't know if my absence created any vacuum it certainly feels good to know that I was missed. And although I'd said I'd be off the net, some people still mailed. I'm so thankful to you guys, you're honestly an amazing people.

Now, I cannot wait to hear the juicy deets! What have I missed???????????

I see that the number 1 topic in the past week is the Toke Makinwa/Maje Ayida scandal. My mouth was left hanging open. I've kind of caught up with a bit of what's been happening and I'm asking questions questions and more questions. 

Like of course she knew about the other lady (ladies?) before she got married, why TF did she still go ahead and marry him? But this isn't in any way peculiar to Toke. SO MANY of us WOMEN THESE DAYS KNOW WE ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE still when he flashes the ring, we excitedly scream YES and immediately start to plan the wedding. I'm certain that by now no girl/woman believes that "He will change after the wedding" lie, so what gives? Husbands are too scarce? Societal pressure? Indifference? "All men cheat anyways"? Just what...?

I also watched her Vlog titled "The show must go on", and indeed the show must go on! I applaud her strength and tenacity, but the minute the video started shooting, the overly enthusiastic way she jumped in made me wonder if she's really as strong as she's letting on, or if she's hiding behind a mask of false bravado? And if the latter is the case, is it really so bad to say "you know what, I've been dealt a blow and I need to take a little time to heal and regroup"? I mean, the video, the incessant posts and pictures on Instagram and all, I'm like babe you're already over-exposed, chill already! Of course I understand the importance of not only being strong but showing (the world) that you are strong, and regardless of whatever, you ARE still standing. I also understand that she shouldn't put her life and businesses on hold. Still I believe that it's not so out of place to take a breather, a brief respite perhaps. We are only human.  

And, please how was the whole thing her fault? People baffle me. A lot of people saying how won't her marriage go bad with the way she's always jumping all over the place, attending every party and event? I wonder if it occurs to them that the reason she's out so much is because the marriage was bad (and not that the marriage was bad because she was out so much)? I don't know the details, but I find it hard to believe that if she had a present husband and a happy home she would spend so much time away from it. We really need to stop blaming women for everything that goes wrong. 

So many questions but I can't ask them all. I sincerely pray that she is as strong as she lets on, that she realizes that strength and grace comes from God and she must lean on Him at this trying time. I also pray that eventually (and soon) God blesses her with her own man, that would worship, adore and love her and her alone, one that would be God's compensation for the loss, pain and humiliation. But you know what they say; not every loss is a loss. So go on with your bad self Toke, God's got your back!

Other news caught my eyes as well; Femi Fani Kayode and his trophy chic, for instance. This isn't in relation to them especially but; can a man truly love a girl half his age? As in real love? Can a woman love a man old enough to father her? Anyone of you young ladies here ever loved a man 50 years and above, or a man (almost) twice your age? As in actually love him and not just the things he could do for you? Please share with me. 

And I feel like being naughty, so im'ma ask! What are the up sides and down sides of being in a relationship/marriage with a much older man? SPILLLLLLLLLL!!! LOL. 

Ok, because I'm really trying to manage my time I wouldnt say more. I'm here to ask not to tell. What have I missed in the news in the last one week? Ikedi Ohakim was detained by EFCC and released, the Rivers state commissioner had her cars seized, Toke Makinwa got served, Donald Trump is running for President of the USA and wants Oprah as his running mate... I tell you; anyone who has Oprah as a running mate in the US will win that election with a landslide! Don't you agree? 

What else, what else, what else?

But most importantly, what's NEW with YOU? What have I missed? How are YOU? This I'm more interested in than the gossip and news of the past week. What's your own gossip, what's your own news? Talk to me people!

(I've been away from home for the last week. While away I shared my space with two ladies, one lives in Holland and the other in the UAE. Experiencing the diverse cultures was very interesting. For instance the one who lives in Abu Dhabi drinks garri with pineapples, she swears it's the sweetest thing ever. So I already have my Ijebu garri on deck, my water is chilling and my pineapples are being diced. Anyone ever tried this? I'm suddenly feeling skeptical but I'm willing to try most things at least once.) 


  1. Yeahhhhh....Thelma is back! So nice to have you back. As for Toke's case, I've been silent because I don't know what to say. I just pray she is strong enough. Welcome back Thelma, you were truly missed.

  2. Replies
    1. Yes! I missed you! for the lady with the cheating husband...I dunno mehn...Honestly, when it comes to marriage drama, I tend not to dive into it until I know both sides of the story....It's good to have you back mami.

  3. Yippppeeeeee!!! Welcome back darling! I missed u scarra o! Hope you had fun?

    As for Toke, I know her personally and please, let's not be fooled by her victim attitude. If you know the kinda stuff she did back n the day, i have absolutely no pity for her because karma's a bitch!

    1. Welcome back T! U were missed

      Eazee because u knew her a few years ago doesn't mean she is still the same person, the only thing constant in life is change! We have all done things we regret later! Imagine being judged by the worst mistake you have ever made. past is in the past no one should go thru the public humiliation that thing of a ' husband ' put her thru. I pray God strengthens her

    2. 'Public humiliation'? Was it the man who went public? Hian! ... And yet you say 'past is the past'. Is yesterday a present or future? All this one-sided judgement of one's actions sef...

      Because u are a lady now, it is only right that the lady in question must be the victim of circumstances. C'mon!!!

    3. Uyiiii, the way u argue/disagree with people on T's blog like if u have the opportunity to use koboko on us, u would gladly.

      Nwando, ekaabo ooo

  4. Welcome back ma'am! I missed you plenty!

    Na siddon dey look i dey for all the events that's been happening

  5. Welcome, Thelma! I'm happy you're back.

  6. Yayyyyy!!!!! And she's back! Thelma nwanem! Welcome back.... I missed you... we missed you! :*

    All I can say is... The Lord help her(Toke)... from what I read, she saw the signs and still went ahead. now eazee is saying she had it coming cuz karma is a bitch. Tor! Whatever it is... may God help her.

    How are you tho... hope you're better now... the lord would perfect all that concerns you in Jesus name. everything would be fine...(why do I keep going into prayer mode these days... *shrugs*)

  7. D woman too talk abeg, even before her wedding brouhaha, best wishes to her sha, u are welcome Thelms, miss ya plentiful

  8. Yaay, Thelma is back, oya where is my guguru and epa?
    We AF mix u gan oooo
    As for your question, it is very possible to live arm older man. I almost feel in love with a 44yr old man, week, that's if I wasn't in love already. It took a lot from me to reorientate myself and come back to my sense. The love yin entered my head then ooo. Society and school and distance prevented us from taking the relationship further.

  9. To love an*
    The love thing*
    Nawa autocorrect feels it's intelligent than I am. SMH

  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

  11. And Tee is back... I refused to open the blog since the last post, because I didn't want to get disappointed, I cheated thrice though... We missed you Thelma nwanem#in kabouy's voice.

    Hmmmmm the news of the rift in toke's marriage this past week got me weak, PLS don't give me the karma story as seen above. We all have a past either lighter past or worse past than Toke. I stand to say that ones's past doesn't justify his/her future( toke inclusive). PLS think of the Virginia's in terrible marriages and the high earned ladies with beautiful marriages.

  12. Welcome back!!
    I think some girls date older guys simply because of the way the guy makes her feel?! Some guys can apparently sweet talk a girl to the point where she's willing to give it all up to be with him, money or sans money.

  13. The love and the older men isssh! I stand to be corrected, but I think at first the ladies are hooked for the money, but then it goes way pass the bucks, now because of the time spent together as well as sex( sex creates spiritual bond)feelings begin to grow which is only natural, hence even when the money is not coming in the lady still profess love and with time the real love flows. So I ask, if love horns with money, who wouldn't ride? Eeeerm older men are more caring too( don't ask me how I know mbok) lol

    The downside of such relationships are: lack of time, different priorities at first, boring discussions or non at first etc(ati be be lo)

    Personally I have been in a relationship with 10yrs and more difference and I must say the love was real.

    Donald qeust for power, I wish him well but I doubt he would win even with Oprah.

    FFK and his lady... All mallam to his kettle, abi how dem talk am.

    It was a very busy but highly productive week for me.

    1. I'm soo with you on the older men thingy/ish/part jare!(lol.. smh for me)
      Iv always liked the idea of marrying someone way older than me(10-13yrs)
      Iv just always believed that they're more understanding, caring, and mature. + my uncle is 13yrs older than his wife and I just like the way he treats her, protects her, understands her... the way they relate sha.

    2. My dear as much as people hate his guts, when you have Oprah by Ur side... And she's black(obviously no black presidential candidate) and female as well. ...Straight to the whitehouse.

    3. Welcome back T..
      And for Donald trump..he's highly disliked bcos he's a racist and doesn't hide it. he's now made Oprah his running mate. Sharp Man! He's not gonna win anyway.
      As forToke..I feel both parties are to blame.

  14. he was right, you are such a drama queen!

  15. Thelma! Drinking garri with pineapple is a capital offense-punishable under the Ijebu foodstuff act of 1876....So, don't do it.

    On the other hand,Welcome back.

  16. Welcome back T. Good to have you back in the blogosphere.

  17. Yay!!!! She's back! Mehn... I missed missed missed you this past 7days. How are you doing?

    Now to the gists...

    I just don't understand the people that blame women for their husband's straying pen**es i mean, it makes absolutely no sense! Does it mean that the man has no will power to say no to the numerous women? So because a woman is married she should dump her career and sit at home all day everyday just to make sure he doesn't stray, is he a 5year old? Even full time housewives have cheating husbands, are they to blame too? One time someone will come and tell me "its a man's world" yet they want to be babied and treated like sucking babes and never seem to take responsibility for their irresponsibilities. Always blaming their infidelities on the wife who "let herself go", or the wife who is too busy, or the single ladies who are just too fine to pass up, or the ladies who wear mini skirt... mstcheeew!

    What Toke's husband has done to her is despicable in every essence of the word, its evil, cruel and irresponsible. And he is solely to blame for his indiscretion. Nobody forced him to sleep with that girl and for pete's sake!, the cheapest condom is 50 naira!

    As for Toke's attitude, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Some people just don't know how to wallow in self pity and grief. The only way they know how to move on from a painful experience is to delve right back into work and bury the pain under a mountain load of work. As far as its working for her, let her be.

    As for the karma ish.. Everyone has a past, no one is a saint. Saying Toke deserves what her husband served her makes this just as bad as whatever Toke did to you in the past. Like Tolu said, imagine someone judging you by the worst mistake you ever made. No one deserves this level of public humiliation no matter what they did in their past.

    I'm hearing about this Donald and Oprah thing for the first time. I don't think he'll win tho, I have this distinct impression that he's a greatly disliked person. I for one can't stand his condescending personality. Anywaiz, good luck to him/them.

    As for dating older men, I wouldn't mind dating and marrying an older man. Someone say 10-15 years older than me. They're a lot more mature than the "baby boys" in our age group. They are more experienced, have grown past the age of throwing tantrums and sagging, have a fresh and more intelligent take on life, are more caring and know how to take care of their women(obviously from experience). So yes, I wouldn't mind.
    Disclaimer: I know that we have some agbaya men roaming the streets, in fact they are plentiful sef. This category of people are not the ones I described above.

    As for Ikedi Ohakim, I couldn't care less...

    Welcome back Tee, biko, don't travel like that again o.

    1. "imagine someone judging you by the worst mistake you ever made."

      "What Toke's husband has done to her is despicable in every essence of the word"

      Now you used the first quoted statement to support Toke and then you went with the second quoted statement to go against her husband... Double Standards of LIFE!!!!

    2. JEEZ sunshine!!! this epistle toh bad, e long pass T post

      well it irritates me when infidelity is justified for whatever reason, Gaaaaah!!! He is just weak, immoral, unfaithful *insert derogatory word of choice*.

  18. Thelma! ! I missed you o! I'm a silent reader on your blog.

    As for the Toke issue...I'm just sick of it all....I don't think it's her fault the marriage ended but I don't see her as a victim either. It sickens me the way she publicises her personal life....Some people call it strength but it's foolishness really...starting from the 'engagement' the 'surprise wedding'....its obvious the marriage had very shaky foundations from the on-set.
    Also, the constant publicising on one's marriage and personal life dooms the union already....she should learn from celebrity women who have managed to mix home and career well ....having a marriage in the public eye...A flourishing career ....Some even children but managing to keep it private too...women like Omosexy, Dakore, Stephanie Linus. ..those are strong wise women. Well....good riddance to bad rubbish (Maje)....The marriage should never had happened....I hope she learns from this experience. keep things private.

    As for Ikedi Okahim. ...In naija name one politician the efcc has actually prosecuted.

    Donald trump is a joker....

    I'm just glad to have u your blog


  19. I don't know why people hate Donald trump for being Donald trump... I'm wondering if you guys really know him that well.

    1. Do you know him????and its not a hate thing just their opinion.

  20. U announced that u have broken up with ur 'eternity' boyfriend. The next thing we see are pictures of u guys getting married at the registry with few guests. Now less than 3 years, hubby impregnates a former flame. U start posting philosophical statements on ur IG page....
    The Toke/Maje's me...the whole story seems very confusing.
    Anyway, I pray they sort out their issue.

    1. Very confusing something, anyway whether she wallows in self pity or show up so strong for people to see,it doesn't matter now,probably she strong like that, anyway she still has her room and bed to cry and mop all she wants!!
      I'm Soo rooting for Ben Carson all the way, but I doubt he would win though, I just don't think he would... Then there's Hillary Clinton!!
      Welcome back To, so good to have you back.

  21. Hallelujah!!! Welcome Thelma! I missed you gaaan!
    Sunshine already expressed my view on the age thing so I'll just skip on to Toke. Sometimes I wonder how some people process information and arrive at ridiculous judgments. A man has a character flaw and we try to pin it on the woman and vice versa.
    The man was already unfaithful way before marriage, so even if she had surgically joined herself to his hip bone as a 'submissive' wife, he still would have been true to his base nature! Simultaneous lover boy oshi! Mtchewww!!!
    Women need to give themselves brain, cos no one else will take them seriously until they get it right.
    Welcome back Thelma, pls don't go away for so long again, any time soon!

  22. Ikedi Ohakim, I really hope he gets convicted, if EFCC are thorough and meticulous with their investigation, he would be convicted. When he was governor, he didn't pay workers salary as at when due, sometimes not paying for months, no pension/ gratuity, and then that million naira advert that ran on AIT some years ago, I always wondered where that money came from.

    On Toke, I don't know what to say, I normally don't bother with issues that don't concern me directly or indirectly. But I pity her sha, I can't imagine what she's going through right now. Even if she's bad (I don't like her tho, i've always thought of her as fake...I apologize if this is wrong) as people claim, I believe that some bad people deserve to have good things done to them.

    On loving one who is much older, i'd like to ask "if the money was absent, would that love be possible"? Because in the stories i've heard, the women seem to love rich older men, not the poor ones.

    Welcome back, it's good to have you back.

  23. Welcome back T:)
    Missed you beacoup.
    I don't think Donald stands a chance of winning just for the mere fact that he is a bit of a careless loudmouth.
    He's been known to attack public figures ( like himself) over non issues so, really, it looks to me like a bit of a joke or something he's doing just to massage his already swollen ego.....
    He's too much of a show man to be the president of USA.
    Rivers' state government not only seized the commissioner's car but has also dissolved the traffic body, TIMARIV - which, as much as I'm beginning to feel the new governor is on a witch-hunt, is really a great move as the body began to represent all that was unjust and terrorising in the state.
    What else?

  24. Good to have you back :)

  25. Welcome back Thelma. That Fela Durotoye's quote got me like a vise around my heart.

  26. Welcome back Thelma.....

    As much as toke isn't my favourite celebrity,I felt bad when I read the news about maje impregnating his former gf. I can imagine the shock. I just hope she pulls through and comes out smiling at the end.

    The funny thing is he dated both of them for a lengthy period of time. The guy get mind sha....

    And as for the ex-gf cum babymama I shame on her behalf. Someone dumps you and got married to someone else you still open legs for the person and even worse got pregnant. She try tooo....yeye


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