Skip to main content

What's So Wrong With Interreligious Marriage? (MY Happy Never After).




Is there anything wrong in a Christian/Muslim marriage?

I have seen a lot of people perfectly made for each other go their separate ways because of religion, only to end up in a frustrating and life-sapping relationship because they are now in a religiously compatible situation.

I tend to wonder if life was all square boxes packed away in square rooms.

A friend of mine had no option but to let his wife go because her pastor convinced her that he is not her husband and these were his words "You two are not spiritually balanced nor compatible, so I advice you to leave him for your spiritual growth", he was a muslim.

I have seen a few of my female friends who are muslims go from smiles and laughter with their Christian boyfriends to a world of regret, abuse and ultimately unwholesome lifestyles, all because their parents won't allow them marry the man they truly love, they where Christians.

This whole schism is based on a few lines (at least I know the christian side) that says do not be unevenly yoked with unbelievers.

And on the muslim side, the only scripture in the Quran that forbids marriage for a woman is to a Polytheist. 

My take, whether we marry a Muslim, Christian, Hindu, Buddhist, whatever, at the end of the day if we are "unequally yoked" in our vision of what our home, marriage, family life, kids and every aspect that surrounds the "Our Unit" should be, it is better we are not married at all.

No one chose where he or she would be born into, I dare say, if the Pope was born in Mecca, of a staunch Muslim family, he would have been muslim today.

If God is all knowing, Allah is all knowing, Jehovah is all knowing and we all agree that as humans, we do not know it all, what then puts us on the pedestal to think for God and determine who to marry and who not to based on belief systems learnt here.



-The above was written by a friend Onyedika Michael Egwuonwu, I got this off his Facebook page. 

***

Have we discussed this Interreligious marriage here before? I'm sure we have. But maybe I'm posting this because recently it became personal. 

Without going into detail...; I was recently introduced to someone who saw my pictures and immediately expressed interest. We met up for dinner/drinks and it all went very well. He's got a great personality and dang he's 6.4"! He was pretty upfront about his intentions which I found very admirable and refreshing. However there are issues. He is both Yoruba and Muslim. While I'm Igbo and Christian. The tribe really isn't an issue, but add to it the religious differences, that makes it a harder pill to push down.

     While he said neither religion nor tribe mattered to him, and he felt what is important is that we're both good people with good intentions and reciprocal affection, I wondered if that's enough. I had to sit back and question myself. Dude is a devout (DEVOUT) Muslim. Of course I began to think about the religion of our offspring and all that. Well right we're just friends and would probably always be; my happy never after...

But I would like to hear your thoughts on the whole issue; the post above, plus do you think a Yoruba-Muslim/Igbo-Christian marriage will work smoothly? 

Comments

  1. Yoruba muslim and igbo christian? Eleyi gidi gan.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eleyi gidi gaaaaaaaaan.......over strong o

      Delete
    2. My friend's brother is a Muslim Yoruba who married a christian IBO lady in abuja. And they are living peacefully even though the man has decided to become a christian for now, women's and persuasion sometimes

      Delete
    3. I just checked Google translator and it said "Eleyi gidi gan" means " this is very real"- Abeg I had to check, I'm always seeing it.
      Is it correct?

      Delete
    4. Hi Praised, yea that's the literal meaning, but figuratively, it's kind of like "ha! this one don pass matter!"

      Delete
    5. Lol!
      I figured it'd be in the context of, " this shit is real" - thanks for clarifying Ada!!!

      Delete
    6. Lol!
      I figured it'd be in the context of, " this shit is real" - thanks for clarifying Ada!!!

      Delete
  2. First time commenting on here :-). I have been loyal Thelma lol.
    Well personally this has been a main issue for me when deciding to date someone. I believe my relationship with God is personal but it's also an important aspect of my life that relates to everything else that I want to share with my significant other. I don't believe love is a feeling but an action. For me if he doesn't understand the love Jesus showed, I am sorry you can't love me the right way. Not saying all Christians know how to love but I want him to understand that. Also when I'm weak he can be strong and vice versa. How are we going to bring up our kids? confusion in a child's mind can be detrimental. is there any wrong in wanting unity in your home? I think it's possible for interreligion couples to stay together but they however have to have a very good understanding of the major decisions they need to make In the future. Is love just enough???

    ReplyDelete
  3. A lot of Christians tend to select the part of the Holy Scriptures that conveniently appeals to them instead of (as Kabuoy rightly put it) allowing the HOLY SPIRIT guide them. Now, 2 Corinthians 6:14(according to KJV) – “Be ye not unequally yoked together with UNBELIEVERS, for what fellowship hath righteousness with UNRIGHTEOUSNESS, and what communion hath light with DARKNESS?” So we, who keep reminding ourselves as Christians not be judgmental, look at this verse and tag all non-Christians..including Muslims..UNBELIEVERS, UNRIGHTEOUS, and DARK? Continuing onwards to verses 15 & 17(still KJV) – “And what concord hath CHRIST with BELIAL, or what part hath he that believeth with an INFIDEL? And what agreement hath the temple of GOD with IDOLS? Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the LORD, and touch not the UNCLEAN THING; and I will receive you.” So, Muslims worship BELIAL(satan), are INFIDELS, actually possess IDOLS, are UNCLEAN? I’m still trying to understand those who tag Muslims this way. Pardon my naivety.

    And for those who feel Muslims are children of satan (since they’re UNBELIEVERS), if you’re to segregate yourselves from such people then you shouldn’t do that only in marriage but in ALL things. I hope we still understand what Christianity means, not listening to some delusional clergy telling you things like "You two are not spiritually balanced nor compatible, so I advise you to leave him for your spiritual growth". If GOD feels Muslims are demonic, then HE better spare these *spawns of satan* and allow the *sons of Light* thrive, no?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I cannot say anything again... The only thing I can even add is the fact that most 'Nigerian Christians' feel and do not know that to be a bona FIDE Muslim, you should believe in Jesus Christ. Yeah, sounds weird right? Go and ask a true follower of Islam.

      Delete
  4. As for me,I don't see Muslims as unbelievers, I can't marry them for my own reasons
    1. I can't imagine wearing hijab
    2. I can't imagine practising all their bowing heads,eating certain things, and many more.
    3. Muslims have different belief from we Christians.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I know two couples who in this type of marriage. The first are grandparents already, their children were left to decide which/what religion to follow. The man is a christian and the wife is an Alhaja.

    The second couple, the husband is a Muslim but in December, his house has the biggest Christmas tree seen. It almost touches the roof. He attends the Christmas Praise Jam with his family, he's said when his children grow older, they'll get to decide if they'll be Christians or Muslims.

    It depends on sincerity, understanding and tolerance. This type of marriage must be totally void of in laws interference.

    But then one has to be careful too. I heard a story about a Muslim who became a worker in church just to marry a sister, he kept up with this for three years until the wedding night when he gave her a kettle and hijab. He told he just wanted to get her as a wife hence the deceit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know a couple like the first couple. They are grandparents now. Another couole is the Fasholas. It works depending on who is involved. I dated and almost married a muslim whose mother was a christian and his sisters were Christians. It was his attitude that stunk, not his religion.

      Ps i am a christian. Funny how I am anglican and my husband is catholic. ..we were married by an anglican priest. The people in the cathokic church have said we aren't married. My husband has asked me to ignore them. Thats drama within one religion.

      www.pynk360.com

      Delete
  6. @CCCC mbok come and say your story oooh, Let me say I Envy you now(kisses bebe)
    Meanwhile let me conclude for you sucre

    ... the influencial royal lagos family couldn't allow her exercise her christain rights in a Muslim home though they loved her so much. The christain home wasn't ready for such inter-religious marriage either and one of her naughty sister was Yimu-ying the whole time, knowing the cookie would crumble soon like the other cookie crumbled. Lol

    ReplyDelete
  7. I daresay the marriage will only work if both or one of the party involved is very liberal minded and not too particular about his/her faith, if not don't bother.

    ReplyDelete
  8. While i do not think interreligious marriages are a problem, it has potential to cause a lot of issues in the future.. most important of which is what belief will your kids adopt..its basically the same as a catholic or anglican marrying a pentecostal or JW for instance. if care is not taken there'l be constant friction between the couple on issues bordering on doctrine.., but thats less serious because they both go to church.
    i think it all boils down to Amos 3:3.. can 2 walk together except they be in agreement???
    couples tend to ignore the very paramount issue of religion... even when they are both christians, there are issues of "he doesnt pray in the morning with me" or "he doesnt pay his tithe"
    as a couple, YOU MUST BE SPIRITUALLY COMPATIBLE ,...not necessarily going to thesame church, or being of the same religion, but being in agreement spiritually.. know who God is to the other and his/her views on prayer and doctrine,...
    courtship is time to talk and know each other...
    on the issue of interreligious marriages, religion was made for man, not the other way round, and the essence of religion is relationship with God, so if you both have a good relationship with Him and you have a plan for bringing up your children, why not....
    doctrine is the culprit... afterall, we all agree there is one God....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. couldn't agree any better. very apt comment.

      Delete
  9. Hmm, i'm just reading comments. Going to show a friend the comments later. Shes a xtian and currently dating a muslim. She said that the guy is d best she's ever dated, no man has ever treated her the guy does. That he practically worships rhe ground she walks.
    Again....hmmmm

    ReplyDelete
  10. I have a friend who is a Muslim and he is married to a South African lady that is a christian. And they are happy together. I think it is a matter of understanding. But sincerely I can't, because I belief there will always be some clashes

    ReplyDelete
  11. I believe religious compatibility is key.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Mami, I got an atheist family friend who is married to a catholic lady....Personally, I don't think much of things like that...NOBODY was born a Christian or a Muslim...why then should it become a determining factor in your happiness?

    ReplyDelete
  13. who is a christian, who is a believer.....christianity is all abt one tin....wch is believin in christ, dat he cam,died n resurrected for us,for our salvation.....datz d 1st step, n anyone dat doznt bliv dix(characters aside)...so sorry,but i cnt marry u

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

***
This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
My…

...

Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…

Shhhhhhh....

I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 


Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.


Uyi & Tiwa