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When Fathers Touch Their Baby Girls...





What do you do when your loving, faithful and absolutely wonderful husband has eyes for only you and one other; your little daughter?

Dear TTB readers, the things we hear! Some time last year I and some ladies got into this argument at the salon. They were all older women, all married and mothers. The argument began when one of the ladies called her maid and asked to talk to her little daughter who was about 3. The maid said the girl was using the toilet. Mother then asked; if you're answering the phone, who took her to the toilet? Maid replied saying something like; "Oh, it's uncle (Akin), he offered to help me". The woman immediately went ballistic and told the maid to rush to the toilet and put her daughter on the phone. 

While it's not clear whether uncle Akin had any bad intentions, we couldn't understand why a male guest would offer to take a little girl to the toilet. And that's when the arguments and conversation began. Among everything that was said, I remember one of the mothers saying, in the heat of the moment, that she has 3 daughters and she doesn't even let them sit on their daddies laps, how much more a guest? She then added something that made us quiet, I can't leave my husband alone with my girls. 

Guys, this is even more heartbreaking than a cheating husband, don't you think? To have little daughters and feel uneasy leaving them with their own father? How sad that is. Yet, this isn't the only occasion I've heard such a thing. Last year someone wrote in to a blog on a matter like this; suspecting her husband of sexually molesting their baby girl; touching her innappropraitely and all that. Now, see this mail sent in to 

"I noticed my husband has been molesting my 3months old daughter. I've been suspecting it but it's this evening I confirmed it because I saw him trying to make her suck his breast so immediately I came out from the bathroom he paused. I entered to get something, came out and saw him trying to make my daughter suck his dick. He did as if he was trying to make her get up. I saw his penis out from one side of his boxers. And it was wet. I collected my child and he quickly adjusted his penis. I'm so confused right now. My heart is heavy. What do l do?"


Guys, this is desperately sad. Where does one even begin with a matter like this? Please how would you handle such an issue? What would you advise this woman to do?

Comments

  1. What a disturbing story, even more so for the little baby. No words can describe it really, but that is clearly sexual molestation. How can she ever trust him again? Asides forcing him to go for professional counselling, the authorities should be contacted as well.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I would just let the story come from the queens mouth, I am sure she would see this post. So I am not permitted to speak.

    This happened only recently to my friend but mother and baby (less than 2yrs) are doing fine.

    Pls dear, just speak a little about it, so others can learn.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is a sad one, and the fear of most mothers with daughters. I don't like the idea of male guests or visitors trying to carry my girls.

    I remember when I was much younger, all these yeye "uncles" in church would want to carry you on their laps during bible school or group meetings. Thank God I was a very stubborn girl, I just didn't like that "thing" poking from behind and wouldn't allow them carry me.

    I was forced to slap one a certain time I went to braid my hair, he tried to massage my bum from behind while sitted on a bench waiting for my turn to make my hair. Everyone was shocked when I slapped him. I think I was 9 years old then.

    They asked me to kneel down, I refused and told them to ask the "stupid uncle" what he did.

    Lessons I learned:

    1. My mum always told us that we should speak up when we were uncomfortable with any "uncle"

    2. She made it clear that any "uncle" who touched certain parts of our bodies were evil and to get us pregnant.

    3. She always monitored what we watched on TV, as a matter of fact, she showed us role models e.g Anne Hastruup (Ego Boyo) of checkmate , NTA female newscaster back then, LOL.
    The idea was to use women we admired to encourage us to be better and aspire to be great, instead of being teenage mums.

    4. She started early teaching us about sex and inappropriate behaaviour.

    5. She encouraged us to bring home all our male friends rather than hide them. Then she would oppress them in all her "EDO, Ishan Woman" mightiness. Most of our male friends were scared of my mum, they didn't wnt her wahala.

    6. Never leave your young daughters alone with out supervision with male family relations. They are the ones we should fear more than strangers.

    7. Have aa good relationship with your daughters.


    I'm tired oooo, to be continued.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I want a daughter like you. Oya gbosa on d face of any uncle idiot who touches her inappropriately.

      Delete
    2. All this church 'uncles'! My pastor for one has an unspoken rule that the entire church seems to abide by. Male church members (unit leaders, ministers et all), are not welcome to carry his daughters. Can I blame the man? Only God sees our hearts!

      Delete
  4. I really can't think of a 'best' way to handle this scenario. Issues like this are best prevented or avoided than managed - the character of your spouse-to-be should be tested and should be found unblemished in areas of pedophilia and matters that deal on raising a child.

    To the matter at hand, i'd suggest the following:
    1) she has to ensure that at all times (day or night), the father does not have sole access to the child. get a help or family relative that is always present in the house, put a tracker on the pedophilia husband etc.

    2) Always conduct frequent (daily) checks on the child to check for marks or indicators of sexual molestation.

    3) Talk to the husband. there might still be a possibility of redemption on his path. He has to be aware of the consequences of his act on the child's psychology, emotions and self-worth. (I don't see her mentioning that she has had a discussion with her husband on his destructive inclinations). Marriage counselors for the husband, educational resource materials and therapy sessions may work wonders.

    4) Pray.

    5) If it comes to the crunch, she might have to get separated from her husband.

    ReplyDelete
  5. @ Chrisy, honestly this kind of issue is best avoided. It's difficult proffering solutions to issues like this in an environment such as ours.

    If you chose to talk to family people, they would rather hush you.

    Avoid leaving the child unsupervised, if possible get a family member (yours) to stay with you, preferably female.

    Or get a live in nanny (elderly female) and pray.

    Nip it in the bud early!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think the church will hear this one o. My little bambi that I love so much. I was molested as a child and if anybody I mean ANYBODY tries my little girl walahi I will go to jail.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Signs of the end time... how could a normal person still have sexual urges towards his own child, they are sick and mental imbalance... let the mother have a "serious" talk with the husband and let him know "I know what you are doing to my daughter and am going to kill you next time you try it" and she must mean it... it's a barbaric act for the love of God... iyanma

    ReplyDelete
  8. The woman is not serious. Let her roam pity street, waiting for someone to tell her the next course of action. I saw this on Linda Ikeji and I thought it odd that she decides to ask people, who are not in her shoes,instead of standing up to the problem.

    Incest and pedophilia are common in Nigeria. They are the elephant in the room we refused to believe exist. In most cases of incest, one parent knows. It is usually the mother but she chooses to do nothing. Believing it will stop and the child will forget. It continues because someone refuses to act. To name the perpetuator and remove him, most cases it's a man, from the home. The child does not forget. But grows up with a deep seeted anger and hatred for both parents. The abuser and the person who chose to remain silent in the face of evil.

    Some women want nothing to do with their parents because of this. It's none of my business what consenting adults get up to. I make it my business when there's a child or infant involved. That's why I said the mother in this story is not serious. The abuse will not stop. She's married to a pedophile. She has to remove the baby from the man's life. And sing like a canary about his sexual preference.

    But she won't do that. Her marriage is more important that the abuse of her baby.

    Mallama

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you very much! what is there to ask questions about ?? left for me I would have called the cops! that animal won't stop..he will take that girl's virginity if shes not taken away from him! and i'm sorry but I do not care about forgiveness in this situation. My child comes first before any man! it is quite pitiful madam still does not know what to do.

      Delete
  9. I was weak when I read about it. Never leave that baby unsupervised with her dad. I will have a heart to heart talk with him, if I as little as suspect anything again I will sing of his pervert ways to the world on my way out of the marriage. It will even be hard for me to let him touch me again as husband after seeing that. Chukwu zobakwa umu ya. J

    ReplyDelete
  10. 18years old male cousin, living with married female cousin, her husband and her baby.....a baby girl.
    Mother always leaving baby with male cousin cos she was always busy. Male cousin lived in the BQ of the house. In no time, baby started refusing breast milk from mama, so mama just puts breast milk in baby's bottle and gives both baby and bottle to cousin to go feed baby. Cousin takes baby to BQ and feeds her (like mother assumed).
    One day, same routine, so mother goes to BQ to check on dem, only for mother to see baby busy sucking cousins peepee while cousin was busy jerking off all over baby's mouth.
    This happened to a friends cousin. We all vomited wen she told us this story.

    As for the poster who saw what her husband was trying to do to dr dota, why did she not say anything to him. I. Catch you, u must answer o.
    I knew a teacher way back, she taught in an all girls school, she told us that when it was for school break, some of the students will start crying and begging to remain in school, and that when she asked one of them, the girl said her father used to sleep with her and that when she told her mother, the mother scolded her and told her to stop lying.
    Sick sick world.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. #when it was time for school break

      Delete
  11. The poster knows the truth and knows the right thing to do but is placing more importance on her marriage it shouldn't even be an issue.

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
  12. I closed the article immediately I read it since yesterday... I didn't even have the strength to type anything... I was almost abused as a child by a relative who we used to go to their house frequently....I didn't allow my younger sister even set foot there when I knew tgis boy would rob me off my innocence....we started avoiding their house because it was on our route from church...we'll use the longer route... I hated my cousin because we were close....even the father was not left out...Fast forward to 2014.. My mum called and told me they caught him sexually abusing his neighbor's child in that same house we used to avoid amd not just the girl but her elder sister too.....I couldn't be happier...they arrested him and he spent some time in the cell but somehow they spent money and released him and the ruler of that community banned him from ever coming there again...He had to move..... you'll be wondering where the wife is but she had never always been around,she works in my local govt and the husband stays in lagos she just comes during hols and go back.....

    This woman knows exactly what to do because I don't think you need advice when you need to protect your child..

    Typing this has just made me emotional and disappointed that I didn't speak against this when I had the opportunity.....

    Pedophilla and incest is not far from you...

    P.S sorry for any typos and the epistle

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous Rider!9:18 am, June 08, 2015

    There are some things you dont keep silent about, One of such is this!

    That woman better speak up.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I have a holy anger on me right now. Is this woman for real?. Saying she is confused.. Confused on what? You saw your own husband put his peepee on your 3months old baby mouth?? (his own flesh and blood). I feel like shouting. Aru... (abomination). you are still in his house asking dumb questions.

    Some women are insane. They have been so bewitched in this thing called marriage that they don't know their left from their right. Let her go ahead and live with that bastard of a husband until he impregnates her daughter. smh. If you check well, this man did not marry her properly. (No marriage rite at all)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Come, madam. You just picked up your baby and traipsed to probably the kitchen to make his food and sulk??? Why didn't you yell bloody murder? Oh, your heart is heavy, I forgot. You'll probably be living in denial soon; assuring yourself that since she's his daughter then it's alright.

    Aunty please save your daughter, divorce his ass and make sure your parting gift is huge. Your husband should be locked up in a prison on an island with 10 able bodied men serving life sentences as his roommates. After a month or two, he'll really understand "wet d**ks".

    The horror!!!


    -Ellafierce

    ReplyDelete
  16. The man is evil.. he should be arrested. A child who is helpless...haba?
    D lady should tell the police. Op d girls virginity is still there.

    ReplyDelete
  17. My body dey shake!!! heey God ooo....I feel like using a club to kiss the man btween his legs just once!.... I wont do it twice, once and I am ok.....#feelingtrobuled....#JoyDaNuGirl

    ReplyDelete
  18. When I read this post yesterday, I couldn't process it. I still can't...I dunno who to feel sorry for...the lil girl or the sick man...This is crazy mehn!

    ReplyDelete
  19. When I read the post... enjays's story... I was moved to tears! what do you attest this to? Mental disorder? Evil spirits? Demons? A jinx? Spell? What?!!! And to think the woman picked the child and WALKED AWAY?!!!!! I am livid! And she's still asking what to do?!
    I saw a movie that told this kind of story and I told my mom that I would never have forgiven her if we were ever in that kind of situation and she turned a blind eye or stayed in the marriage. Never ever.

    I don't want to think about what I would have done if it were me(God forbid)... carrying that child away from that room is just to take him or her out of danger... cuz that room won't contain the both of us! He would never remain the same. Even if I have to die there! Ahan Ahan. How can you even calmly walk away from that kind of situation and you're still asking what to do? And trust some silly fools to say it's the devil.. the guy should be sent to prayer city for deliverance. Mstchewww! If you like go to 7 mountains and 7 seas! You shouldn't live among human beings! A baby for god's sake!!!!!! Haaa! O ma ga ooo! The world is getting weirder and weirder. Baby baby! I feel soo bad.

    ReplyDelete

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