Skip to main content

Would You Want To Know?






Ladies, would you want to know if your friend slept with your husband?
So basically, friend is in the abroads. Friend occasionally sends Ese to check in on the home to make sure everything is fine. Friend sends Ese because she's sure she can trust her. Ese "mistakenly" sleeps with friend's hubby once. 

Ese cannot believe what she has done. She and hubby agree never to tell friend. They convince themselves it's better for friend if it never happens again and they never speak of it, especially not to friend. Because it will only hurt her more, so what's the point. 

Except, Ese isn't very convinced. She's guilt ridden and is wondering whether she should come clean with her friend, and apologize.  

She asked what I think. 

I think it's tricky. Are you confessing because it will make you feel better, less guilty (as I think is the case here)? Or will your confession be for the other person's good? 

Because I think that if she confesses its only because her conscience is killing her, and I'm struggling to see how knowing what happened will help her friend... One side of me is thinking "Don't tell her". And the other side is wondering; "But wouldn't you want to know?"  


Ladies, (and gentlemen) would you want to know if your close friend slept with your spouse? Why? 

Please we would also love to hear your argument on why the friend should know, OR why the friend should not know. Thank you.



Ps; please don't ask me what it means to mistakenly sleep with someone. But I'd say it wasn't premeditated and she somehow founding herself doing it, without intending to. If that makes any sense...

Comments

  1. The right thing to do would be to tell, and both ask for forgiveness.

    Yeah!!!

    But all things being equal, I don't wanna know. It will do more damage. Especially if it wasn't premeditated and if of course it won't happen again.

    Question is, how do you know all these in the first place if you need knew the deed was committed.

    Women, stop being naive, best to avoid this kinda wahala.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Don't tell... forgive yourself and ask for Gods forgiveness. Never put yourself in a position where it might happen again and move on

    ReplyDelete
  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  4. It depends on the kind of person friend is,though such things aren't meant to b understood but if friend is.the type who prefers the.truth that hurts to lies then tell her with carefulness though because keeping it to ur self and asking for forgiveness isn't just enough,confession is important too as well as the forgiveness of ur friend. As for me,I won't want to know because it.Will break me.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Better take that shit to the grave. Especially if they aren't planning on doing it again. Bot every truth is worth disclosing.

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes Mama! NOT every truth is worth disclosing.

      Ese wants to tell friend just to make Ese feel better! She doesn't care how it affects friend's marriage or feelings...

      Anyhowway, if I were friend, I wouldn't want to know oh. It was a mistake, U won't repeat it. Can U two give me a breather? This is one of those cases where ignorance is bliss!!!
      This is My Humble Opinion.

      Delete
    2. "Better take that shit to the grave.."
      "...Ese wants to tell friend just to make Ese feel better! She doesn't care how it affects friend's marriage or feelings..."

      #EnoughSaid

      Delete
    3. same sentiment here
      I'd rather you kept it to yourself, it will mess up things.

      Delete
    4. Well said my people... Well said!

      Delete
    5. Totally right! STFU! If her talking would do nothing but ruin her friend's marriage, she sld take it to her grave n see her 'pricking conscience' as her penance for her 'accidental indiscretion' *watevadafunk dat means*

      Delete
  6. I better not know... keep it to yourself

    ReplyDelete
  7. It's advisable not to oo!!! Let bygones be as it is.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hian! She "mistakenly" slept with her friend's hubby? This just reminds me of that post where the friend was angry that her friend was cooking and cleaning for her husband. When will women learn? Stop sending your "trusted" friend to do your wifely duties! If you can't be available, let him eat out.

    Anywaiz, Ese ad better keep her mouth shut on the matter cos I dont see what good telling her friend will do.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hell NO....I would not want to know.....please could you develop a situational amnesia please(if such exists)

    TGIF all

    ReplyDelete
  10. As an aside thou, why do people keep setting themselves up?Wife trusts her friend so much that she endowed her with the duty of periodic 'checker',now friend has mistakenly slept with hubby...in all these,i blame the wife.......she just set up herself....Why did she trust her friend so much with her husband? cuz she is not a woman....heck,the friend is not even supposed to be human.

    Also,people should know how to turn down certain tasks....perhaps the friend should not have agreed to be a checker....sometimes we don't know what we are capable of doing until we are thrust in certain situations

    ReplyDelete
  11. It's better not to know in this case cod no normal human being in his or her right senses would take it kindly after hearing this shit....... Shoro niyen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You just read my mind...Shoro Niyen o
      'Better take that shit to the grave'...#EPIC
      Ruthy Spot on....

      Delete
  12. So many secrets lying in graves in cemeteries since 15BC. So honey, yours can be added to it, there's enough space.

    And NO, I wouldn't want to know cause the hurt will cut deep into my soul & spirit.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hmm Ese don't try it o, they will use you to settle their matter and you will forever be tagged the home breaker, settle with your God biko.

    ReplyDelete
  14. She shouldn't tell her friend .. She should take her secret to the grave .. Cos if I'm that friend ehn.. Wat I will do to both of them.. They will never forget it!

    ReplyDelete
  15. ignorance is bliss... just keep quiet and stay away... soon enough you might even forget..
    telling her would only make her paranoid... just make sure it never happens again..
    the guilt is ur burden to bear... dont be selfish and ruin her marriage just cz u want to unburden ur conscience...its ur mistake..live with it..

    ReplyDelete
  16. There is this saying that "things you don"t know will not hurt you". Most times ignorance is bliss. Hell NO. I don't want to know if my friend slept with my husband. What will I do with it. Pls dear, tell Ese to kindly keep that secret to herself. She can only avoid my home. If I press to know why she is avoiding my home. All I need is excuses, I will be fine. Friend come and go. The harm in revealing this secret is far more than the peace of mind the Ese wants to get.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Personally i'd want to know. I despise living in ignorance especially when it concerns issues that are sacred to me.

    I opine the friend should know. I doubt one can have a flourishing relationship when you consciously hold back important information from your partner. The facade one'd be forced to live with would gnaw on the fabric of honesty, trust, peace and other desirable ingredients in a friendship/relationship.

    If she chooses the difficult path of telling, I'd advise the first mention to the wife should come from the husband as they should have a stronger bond. Also due considerations would need to be given to the wife's emotional and psychological conditions before and after telling. The lady culprit has to also be involved in the disclosure process. Also these things are best done face to face.

    I'm also not oblivious that the marriage might crash, the friendship might cease to exist anymore but then I strongly feel that a tactful approach would provide less disastrous consequences. It'd be way worse if the wife found out from other sources or she deciphers from her intuition.

    (permit my less than cohesive stance).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. finally! someone is thinking differently!

      i try not to have an opinion about issues like this especially when i have little or no experience in that department. but then.... i'm really surprised everyone thinks she should not tell! like really?!

      Delete
    2. Yes o, Kabuoy, like really, best is not to tell. I understand where Chrisyinks is coming from, fantastic comment by the way bro, but like TTB addict said: "...the guilt is your burden to bear, don't be selfish and ruin her marriage just because you want to unburden your conscience...". If the guilt is overwhelming, she should seek solace in GOD's forgiveness and tell friend's hubby to do the same. Live with it instead of risking a Jericho-bomb because you want to empty your emotions on a logical being in the name of "clearing conscience". If such happened to my wife my friend had better die with his secret o. I can't deal with #ThisLife stories mbok.

      Delete
    3. Thank you Memphis.

      I also understand your perspective on the issue which also has been echoed by the majority of the house. I strongly believe that in this case, if there is a reasonable possibility of the wife not being too vindictive with her husband's and friend's indiscretion, telling should be explored.

      The wife in question has been shown to love her husband even going to extreme measures to ensure that he is well taken care of. The measure backfired, but it doesn't mean she still wouldn't love him despite the hurt.

      Like we've implied, people are different and till we are aware of the disposition of the wife, we might not be able to provide the best option. I, Kabuoy, and Erniesha feel we'd be better of knowing, You and the rest of the blog readers feel otherwise. I'd agree on this, both of our stances are reasonable, the most suitable for this scenario is contestable.

      Delete
  18. I wouldn't want to know, as it would be too much of a cross to bear. Trying to forgive such a grievous crime committed by 2 people who are dearest to you would kill my vibe for a very long time.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Dont tell and please which one is this 'I travel I send my 'gfrend to be checking on my husband' kind of arrangement! D man na small pickin? Na wa o...heeey!..civilisation abi na opolo eye!....hmmm....make I no talk again abeg....#JoyDaNuGirl

    ReplyDelete
  20. Abeg make she keep her confession. Seriously I don't want to know. And it will be veeeery selfish of her to tell her friend because definitely that marriage will never be the same again. And surely a dead end has come between the friendship... the yoruba will say " what you don't know won't kill you" so they should keep it and in fact die with it, even if they choose to continue with the illicit affair, they should sha please spare me the story...

    ReplyDelete
  21. Abeg make she keep her confession. Seriously I don't want to know. And it will be veeeery selfish of her to tell her friend because definitely that marriage will never be the same again. And surely a dead end has come between the friendship... the yoruba will say " what you don't know won't kill you" so they should keep it and in fact die with it, even if they choose to continue with the illicit affair, they should sha please spare me the story...

    ReplyDelete
  22. I think weither Ese talks or not, its a lose lose situation for her only o. Because men love to brag! And some day this man would brag about this to his wife. Either playfully or during a fight. And ofcourse she would forgive her husband and not her friend. So Ese jst get ready to lose dat friend sooner or later.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Wow! So she 'mistakenly' slept with her friend's husband and they both 'mistakenly' agreed not to tell her and now she is 'mistakenly' guilt ridden......and that is how people get 'mistakenly' clapped! I mean seriously? Mami, the best thing to do is tell the husband how she feels bout what they did and have him tell his wife....the blow will be softened when it comes from the husband NOT her...

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

***
This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
My…

...

Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…

Shhhhhhh....

I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 


Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.


Uyi & Tiwa