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Would You Want To Know?

Ladies, would you want to know if your friend slept with your husband?
So basically, friend is in the abroads. Friend occasionally sends Ese to check in on the home to make sure everything is fine. Friend sends Ese because she's sure she can trust her. Ese "mistakenly" sleeps with friend's hubby once. 

Ese cannot believe what she has done. She and hubby agree never to tell friend. They convince themselves it's better for friend if it never happens again and they never speak of it, especially not to friend. Because it will only hurt her more, so what's the point. 

Except, Ese isn't very convinced. She's guilt ridden and is wondering whether she should come clean with her friend, and apologize.  

She asked what I think. 

I think it's tricky. Are you confessing because it will make you feel better, less guilty (as I think is the case here)? Or will your confession be for the other person's good? 

Because I think that if she confesses its only because her conscience is killing her, and I'm struggling to see how knowing what happened will help her friend... One side of me is thinking "Don't tell her". And the other side is wondering; "But wouldn't you want to know?"  

Ladies, (and gentlemen) would you want to know if your close friend slept with your spouse? Why? 

Please we would also love to hear your argument on why the friend should know, OR why the friend should not know. Thank you.

Ps; please don't ask me what it means to mistakenly sleep with someone. But I'd say it wasn't premeditated and she somehow founding herself doing it, without intending to. If that makes any sense...


  1. The right thing to do would be to tell, and both ask for forgiveness.


    But all things being equal, I don't wanna know. It will do more damage. Especially if it wasn't premeditated and if of course it won't happen again.

    Question is, how do you know all these in the first place if you need knew the deed was committed.

    Women, stop being naive, best to avoid this kinda wahala.

  2. Don't tell... forgive yourself and ask for Gods forgiveness. Never put yourself in a position where it might happen again and move on

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. It depends on the kind of person friend is,though such things aren't meant to b understood but if friend is.the type who prefers the.truth that hurts to lies then tell her with carefulness though because keeping it to ur self and asking for forgiveness isn't just enough,confession is important too as well as the forgiveness of ur friend. As for me,I won't want to know because it.Will break me.

  5. Better take that shit to the grave. Especially if they aren't planning on doing it again. Bot every truth is worth disclosing.

    1. Yes Mama! NOT every truth is worth disclosing.

      Ese wants to tell friend just to make Ese feel better! She doesn't care how it affects friend's marriage or feelings...

      Anyhowway, if I were friend, I wouldn't want to know oh. It was a mistake, U won't repeat it. Can U two give me a breather? This is one of those cases where ignorance is bliss!!!
      This is My Humble Opinion.

    2. "Better take that shit to the grave.."
      "...Ese wants to tell friend just to make Ese feel better! She doesn't care how it affects friend's marriage or feelings..."


    3. same sentiment here
      I'd rather you kept it to yourself, it will mess up things.

    4. Well said my people... Well said!

    5. Totally right! STFU! If her talking would do nothing but ruin her friend's marriage, she sld take it to her grave n see her 'pricking conscience' as her penance for her 'accidental indiscretion' *watevadafunk dat means*

  6. I better not know... keep it to yourself

  7. It's advisable not to oo!!! Let bygones be as it is.

  8. Hian! She "mistakenly" slept with her friend's hubby? This just reminds me of that post where the friend was angry that her friend was cooking and cleaning for her husband. When will women learn? Stop sending your "trusted" friend to do your wifely duties! If you can't be available, let him eat out.

    Anywaiz, Ese ad better keep her mouth shut on the matter cos I dont see what good telling her friend will do.

  9. Hell NO....I would not want to know.....please could you develop a situational amnesia please(if such exists)

    TGIF all

  10. As an aside thou, why do people keep setting themselves up?Wife trusts her friend so much that she endowed her with the duty of periodic 'checker',now friend has mistakenly slept with all these,i blame the wife.......she just set up herself....Why did she trust her friend so much with her husband? cuz she is not a woman....heck,the friend is not even supposed to be human.

    Also,people should know how to turn down certain tasks....perhaps the friend should not have agreed to be a checker....sometimes we don't know what we are capable of doing until we are thrust in certain situations

  11. It's better not to know in this case cod no normal human being in his or her right senses would take it kindly after hearing this shit....... Shoro niyen

    1. You just read my mind...Shoro Niyen o
      'Better take that shit to the grave'...#EPIC
      Ruthy Spot on....

  12. So many secrets lying in graves in cemeteries since 15BC. So honey, yours can be added to it, there's enough space.

    And NO, I wouldn't want to know cause the hurt will cut deep into my soul & spirit.

  13. Hmm Ese don't try it o, they will use you to settle their matter and you will forever be tagged the home breaker, settle with your God biko.

  14. She shouldn't tell her friend .. She should take her secret to the grave .. Cos if I'm that friend ehn.. Wat I will do to both of them.. They will never forget it!

  15. ignorance is bliss... just keep quiet and stay away... soon enough you might even forget..
    telling her would only make her paranoid... just make sure it never happens again..
    the guilt is ur burden to bear... dont be selfish and ruin her marriage just cz u want to unburden ur conscience...its ur with it..

  16. There is this saying that "things you don"t know will not hurt you". Most times ignorance is bliss. Hell NO. I don't want to know if my friend slept with my husband. What will I do with it. Pls dear, tell Ese to kindly keep that secret to herself. She can only avoid my home. If I press to know why she is avoiding my home. All I need is excuses, I will be fine. Friend come and go. The harm in revealing this secret is far more than the peace of mind the Ese wants to get.

  17. Personally i'd want to know. I despise living in ignorance especially when it concerns issues that are sacred to me.

    I opine the friend should know. I doubt one can have a flourishing relationship when you consciously hold back important information from your partner. The facade one'd be forced to live with would gnaw on the fabric of honesty, trust, peace and other desirable ingredients in a friendship/relationship.

    If she chooses the difficult path of telling, I'd advise the first mention to the wife should come from the husband as they should have a stronger bond. Also due considerations would need to be given to the wife's emotional and psychological conditions before and after telling. The lady culprit has to also be involved in the disclosure process. Also these things are best done face to face.

    I'm also not oblivious that the marriage might crash, the friendship might cease to exist anymore but then I strongly feel that a tactful approach would provide less disastrous consequences. It'd be way worse if the wife found out from other sources or she deciphers from her intuition.

    (permit my less than cohesive stance).

    1. finally! someone is thinking differently!

      i try not to have an opinion about issues like this especially when i have little or no experience in that department. but then.... i'm really surprised everyone thinks she should not tell! like really?!

    2. Yes o, Kabuoy, like really, best is not to tell. I understand where Chrisyinks is coming from, fantastic comment by the way bro, but like TTB addict said: "...the guilt is your burden to bear, don't be selfish and ruin her marriage just because you want to unburden your conscience...". If the guilt is overwhelming, she should seek solace in GOD's forgiveness and tell friend's hubby to do the same. Live with it instead of risking a Jericho-bomb because you want to empty your emotions on a logical being in the name of "clearing conscience". If such happened to my wife my friend had better die with his secret o. I can't deal with #ThisLife stories mbok.

    3. Thank you Memphis.

      I also understand your perspective on the issue which also has been echoed by the majority of the house. I strongly believe that in this case, if there is a reasonable possibility of the wife not being too vindictive with her husband's and friend's indiscretion, telling should be explored.

      The wife in question has been shown to love her husband even going to extreme measures to ensure that he is well taken care of. The measure backfired, but it doesn't mean she still wouldn't love him despite the hurt.

      Like we've implied, people are different and till we are aware of the disposition of the wife, we might not be able to provide the best option. I, Kabuoy, and Erniesha feel we'd be better of knowing, You and the rest of the blog readers feel otherwise. I'd agree on this, both of our stances are reasonable, the most suitable for this scenario is contestable.

  18. I wouldn't want to know, as it would be too much of a cross to bear. Trying to forgive such a grievous crime committed by 2 people who are dearest to you would kill my vibe for a very long time.

  19. Dont tell and please which one is this 'I travel I send my 'gfrend to be checking on my husband' kind of arrangement! D man na small pickin? Na wa o...heeey!..civilisation abi na opolo eye!....hmmm....make I no talk again abeg....#JoyDaNuGirl

  20. Abeg make she keep her confession. Seriously I don't want to know. And it will be veeeery selfish of her to tell her friend because definitely that marriage will never be the same again. And surely a dead end has come between the friendship... the yoruba will say " what you don't know won't kill you" so they should keep it and in fact die with it, even if they choose to continue with the illicit affair, they should sha please spare me the story...

  21. Abeg make she keep her confession. Seriously I don't want to know. And it will be veeeery selfish of her to tell her friend because definitely that marriage will never be the same again. And surely a dead end has come between the friendship... the yoruba will say " what you don't know won't kill you" so they should keep it and in fact die with it, even if they choose to continue with the illicit affair, they should sha please spare me the story...

  22. I think weither Ese talks or not, its a lose lose situation for her only o. Because men love to brag! And some day this man would brag about this to his wife. Either playfully or during a fight. And ofcourse she would forgive her husband and not her friend. So Ese jst get ready to lose dat friend sooner or later.

  23. Wow! So she 'mistakenly' slept with her friend's husband and they both 'mistakenly' agreed not to tell her and now she is 'mistakenly' guilt ridden......and that is how people get 'mistakenly' clapped! I mean seriously? Mami, the best thing to do is tell the husband how she feels bout what they did and have him tell his wife....the blow will be softened when it comes from the husband NOT her...


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