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Dear Thelma... (Is It Fair?)

Dear Thelma, I am mailing you because I don't have any body to talk to, or maybe am ashamed to tell anybody. I just wonder why life is so very unfair to some people and good to others even if they are bad. Please tell me how my friend that made me cancel my engagement because she was sleeping with my man still got married to her own boyfriend that sAme year n has a baby and is pregnant again. I'm not jealous but I don't understand how God blesses some people. I worked very hard in school but I can't any good job so I started to volunteer where they pay me 30 thousand a month but this girl who was an aristo girl n did not even used to attend lectures is working with a company with official car and 250 thousand a month plus monthly allowances. I know in my heart that I am A very good person and I work hard but my life has been one disappointment after another. But people like my former friend just continue to get blessings upon blessings. Please is it fair?

LOL @ is it fair. If you ask me na who I go ask? *in Omawumi's voice*


  1. Like you just read my mind.People that I'm better than are doing better than me.I don't understand it.God please remember us too.

  2. See babe, I empathize with you.. Life isn't fair truly..
    But for the mean time can you just stop and concentrate only on your life, forget about your friends earning this or working there or what not..
    Take off time, study your life patterns, you don't know but there could be something she's doing behind that you don't know might be good it might not be good as well.
    So, in other words, never compare yourself with anyone, I know life can be unfair at times, but we've all got prices that we pay and we have to pay.
    I remember Thelma posted something here ones saying "comparison is the thief of joy"... Think on this..
    Lastly but not the least, do you know that by strength shall no man prevail?? See its not by how good you have been, how strong or brilliant or better or whatever you are, I can confidently tell you that even if you display such awesome characteristics on your own, it wouldn't last long, or take you to where you need to get to.. We all need God's grace in this unfair world..

  3. Not by power nor by might it's just by grace..... Our righteousness is like a fifthy rag before God and only God sees the heart. This things are deeper than we can see! U don't know the kind of covenant her parents has with God, u don't know if she is reaping the fruits if her greatgrand father, there are a lot of u don't knows?! . Don't focus on the blessing she 'seem' to be getting just keep pressing on for ur own breakthrough. Life can be very funny at times

    1. Mummy baby! How's Oreoluwa (my namesake)?

    2. Hi hope my dear she is fine o, eating and sleeping is her mode of operation lol can't remember the last time I had a two hour stretch of sleep but we thank the Lord lol. Thanks for asking xxx

  4. It all about God......if u focus too much on d painful past , u will miss d beautiful future God has for u

  5. Despite how depressed I could be sometimes, What I believe is this, As Long as I'm doing the RIGHT things, the blessings might delay, but it will CERTAINLY, I mean DEFINITELY come!!!

    Good things comes to those who wait patiently but are working hard while they wait.

    U might just be called tomorrow for a job in the UK that pays 800k Naija currency. U meet an awesome man & birth twins or triplets...

    Sweetheart, Do NOT compare, do ur best & leave the rest to God in prayer!
    U'll be Amazed! #TightHugs

  6. It all about God......if u focus too much on d painful past , u will miss d beautiful future God has for u

  7. Anonymous Rider!2:15 pm, July 01, 2015

    I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

  8. Habakkuk 2:3 - though it tarry, wait for it, it shall not tarry. Poster this verse came into my mind when I read your post, now let me relate it to you.

    At the time I have decided,
    my words will come true.
    You can trust what I say
    about the future.
    It may take a long time,
    but keep on waiting—
    it will happen!

    So you see, you have an appointed time to yourself and the last time I checked comparison is a path to envy and destruction. Keep doing the right things you do.

    Your own great job will come
    Your own man will come
    Everything good will come.

  9. Why God is unfathomable is why we cant know why he does things his way...for how long will you keep on comparing your life to your friend's,focus on your life,pray,do the little you can and trust God
    If you are a Christian you know its not by your strength its totally up to God,the more you compare the sadder you get

  10. Run your own race. Comparison is the thief of joy. I always wonder something about people thatsend emails, no one ever states their qualifications - maybe you will get a better offer from the lamentation.

    Never ever compare yourself to anyone...until you see the hand of God in your life, your station will not improve. Pick up yourself, stop the self pity and start looking ahead and believe that God only has good plans for you.

  11. The race is not to the swift and the battle not to the warrior, and neither is bread to the wise nor wealth to the discerning nor favor to the men of ability; for time and chance happeneth to them all
    Eccl. 9:11
    The moment you start comparing yourself with these people, you will lose sight of where you're headed. Focus on God, remain true to his word and you will reap the benefits of serving him here on earth.

    1. Thanks Tiwa for this comment! God bless you.

  12. Dear poster, sometimes after looking at the happenings around, i can't help but ask questions like this too, but then my mum won't hesitate to remind of how God operates so I'll advice you not to mind the happenings around you but focus on God and just like Tiwa has said, you'll reap the benefits of serving him here on earth.

    1. I feel same way too,at tymz I feel so depressed to d point to takin my lyf. No mum to encourage and advise me(RIP). Buh I knw God has nt forgoten me,andam stil beta dan som people. Poster pls b strong

  13. There is something called DESTINY. your friend's destiny is different from yours. the more you focus on her success and achievements, she will continue to soar high and you will become even more depressed.
    Delete her from all your social handle
    Delete everything that reminds you of her existence so you don't become suicidal seeing her excel.
    Remain steadfast in prayers Dear.Very soon I know the lord will make you look back and SMILE.

  14. Our timing are different. We run our race differently. Focus on GOd do not lose your faith.

  15. Joy cometh in the morning. We all have our battles, work on the ones that you can. Then LET GOD do what he does best.

    Maintain atmosphere of praise my dear, soon iyanu ma se le.

    Finally, search your self and find your God given talent.

    I just bought very refreshing mixed fruit salad from a young lady vendor. She has been searching for a job with no luck,

    She now sells fresh fruit salad came up with nice names and sells. The one I got was "fast n furious" for 2k o.

    She displayed on her dp and it looked sumptous.
    What do you have in ur hands that God can bless.

    You may be putting ur blessings on delay modde bcos u compare and judge others while u feel u are more holy.

  16. Joy cometh in the morning. We all have our battles, work on the ones that you can. Then LET GOD do what he does best.

    Maintain atmosphere of praise my dear, soon iyanu ma se le.

    Finally, search your self and find your God given talent.

    I just bought very refreshing mixed fruit salad from a young lady vendor. She has been searching for a job with no luck,

    She now sells fresh fruit salad came up with nice names and sells. The one I got was "fast n furious" for 2k o.

    She displayed on her dp and it looked sumptous.
    What do you have in ur hands that God can bless.

    You may be putting ur blessings on delay modde bcos u compare and judge others while u feel u are more holy.

  17. Poster don't be discouraged. We all have different strides in life. Keep staying focused coupled with prayers and a heart of praise. God is a rewarder of those that diligently seek him.

  18. poster please dont compare yourself, if it means going off social media to detox then do it, listen to motivational tapes it helps

  19. This comment has been removed by the author.

  20. After all the experiences I have had in this my short, young life, I have come to conclude that things that happen to us happen to teach us lessons that will make us better and stronger people. It is only natural for you to be depressed by your circumstance but do not let what you may see as another persons achievements and compare with your life; you do not know what battles that "perfect life"is throwing up at your friend.

    Remember that for a knife to become sharp, it has to be put on the grindstone. Shake off that dedspair, put your sights onGod, ask for His grace and leave the rest to Him.

  21.'s truly not fair but hey we are only able to reach that conclusion because we compared. I know it's difficult not to so since we live in the midst of people but once you have an understanding that God's plans for you you are good, you'll wait.

    Everyone has said it all. You know that part of the Bible in Galatians 5:22 that describes the fruits of the spirit? Londsuffering is one of them. It isn't even ordinary suffering but long. Dear poster, we don't know why some of us experience the things we do but be rest assured that God has a bigger plan.

    Look within you, asides your job that pays little what else can you do that will bring in extra income. Even this volunteering job, do you know someone may notice you and give you a bigger and permanent high paying job? Focus on you. Stay happy. Work it out and let people see that glow. Help will come, favour will. Hope deferred makes the heart reallyyyyyyyyyy sick but when the desire comes babe it is like a tree of life. Tree of life signifies very rich, beautiful, adorable, you name it.

  22. You write very well. In few sentences u conveyed so much emotion that everyone feels as if they know u. Take time to hone your writing skill. It is therapeutic (ask Thelma) and u may even earn from it
    2. Your friend is earning chicken change. Girls r making millions u r envying N250k??? Forgerrit.
    Smile, look up, square your shoulders and begin to read motivational books. Your future is bright

  23. Why do you covet? It seems you disturb yourself too much...mainly because of comparison, anger and envy. Can you stop?

    My spirit says to tell you you should read the 9-10th commandments.

    Be good and do good not just for 'hidden hopes' for reward.
    Work, pray and have faith.
    God already sees you; thoughts, deeds and needs.
    Don't spoil nor delay God's plans for you. His plans are only good and beautiful, remember?

  24. Ecclesiastes 11:5The Message (MSG)

    5 Just as you’ll never understand
        the mystery of life forming in a pregnant woman,
    So you’ll never understand
        the mystery at work in all that God does.

    He makes all things beautiful in His time.

  25. Nuff said....nothing to add again.
    Op please read and digest these wise words.

  26. I was in church the other day, and the guest preacher briefly explained to us the meaning/principle of "Theodicy", which is:
    1) Life is hard
    2) God is good

    They are two concepts that exist in this life that we cannot change. Life cannot get so hard that God stops being good, and by the same token, that God is good does not change the fact that life can be hard.

    Dear poster, make sure you keep being the best that you can be, but somewhere in the above concept of Theodicy, I hope you find some reassurance. Stay blessed.


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intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
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