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Dear Thelma... (To Return Them Back or Not?)


Hi T and BVs. I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago because it did not look like our relationship was going anywhere. We were together for a over year and I loved him but we don't have a lot in common, also I would like to settle down soon but he says that he has a 3 year plan and he doesnt plan to marry untill after that. I met someone that I like and we have strong chemistry. I didn't want to cheat on my boyfriend so I broke up with him. He begged only a little but didn't seem to mind much so went went separate ways. Last year he bought me a MacBook and a small Lister gen for my apartment, now he's saying he wants to collect them back, and a few other things he bought me. I don't mind returning them but I also spent money on him in the relationship too. I threw a big surprise party for him on his birthday and it cost me a lot of money. I also paid for a week long trip to Zanzibar during Christmas for both of us. I know I also spent a lot of my own money on him too so why should I return the things he gave me? Now he is insisting that if I don't willingly return them he will get police involved. What do you think I should do?

Apologies poster. Seems you sent this last week but it went to my spam mail. 


  1. Lol... Anyways tell him to also return your time n money to u if not you'll get the army involved.

  2. It's a very selfish thing for him to do really.Or it might just be a ploy to meet him face to face again. All in all, its up to you really how or if you want to return those gift items.

  3. The level headed me will ask you to give back the stuff to the a**hole and get rid of him. The hard headed me will ask you to analyse all your big expenses and write him an email for a refund in return. The lawyer in me will ask you to report to the police first and table everything to them beating him to his game.

    At the end of the day does it (the things you will give back) worth the whole wahala? Though I believe that sometimes it's good to stand up to A**holes by beating them to their game but you have already moved on so get rid of him completely by giving back the stuff......but if you opt to go with the hard headed me, sister, i'll be cheering for you so keep us posted wink wink. J

    1. Nothing more to add.
      U have Options A, B, C.

      Whichever U choose, I wish u well Poster! He's an Idiot oh...
      Some men have NO shame. Being stupidly vindictive!!!

    2. Thirded.

      Return or not, it's up to you. Bottom line is you dated a low life and I hope you've truly moved on.

    3. "Fourthed"
      If you do choose to return it, remind him of the sacrifices you also made in the relationship and shame him wella.

      Or better still. Cost the items given to you, deduct your expenses and send him change of about 2k .lol

  4. Return!
    Why? Simple, his properties are physical at hand with you to avoid stories.

  5. My dear, when people leave your life, give them transport fare to aid their fast exit. If this so called guy needs all he has given to you. sharply arrange for him to collect them. Do not give any human the reason to feel without him/her your life is incomplete. You are alive, All parts of your body are still intact, Relax, its a matter of time, if you are determined, you will get much more than what he feels he has given you. Please ease the tension. Return the gifts, they don't worth the stress.

    Should I tell you something, he does not actually need the gifts, he needs you to understand he has made an impact in your life. He wants you to feel he is indispensable. Prove him wrong.

    1. I'm so with you... This last paragraph says it all! And tell him to come get it. Make sure you are not around that day, put everything in front of your house and let someone know he will be coming to get them. So the embarrassment won't be shared between both of you, just him.

  6. Lol! This dude is very selfish. U shd be the bigger person and return his stuff to him.. just forget it. He definitely isnt worth it.. such pettiness .. mtchwwwwwww

  7. He is selfish and childish.. He never really loved you. Return his stuff and leave him to God.

  8. Don't return anything please! Leave sentiments and civilization for crying out loud u also spent.

  9. Very childish somebody..Please don't return anything,that guy has issues.

  10. Return wetin? Dem dey return shit,abeg no mind. He's childish.

  11. Lol... those are your sourviniers so you can do with it as you like. If u feel like giving them back please do, but if u r the type who start everything on a new ground. Ask him to come collect them but drop them somewhere where he can go pick it without you having to give them back to him personally...

    1. ... but if you feel they are urs to keep, my dear kindly do that. let him bring his soldiers o... yeye boi

    2. ... but if you feel they are urs to keep, my dear kindly do that. let him bring his soldiers o... yeye boi

  12. Don't even think of giving him back what a piece of S***t. Please he needs to return every penny you have ever given him back first! He-goat!!

    1. What Oreoluwa's mom said!

      How's our little angel? Shey eee ja lekana o! Looool! *kisses*

    2. Me I tire ooh! Which one is give him back his gift? What are you trying to protect sef? Your pride abi self respect? He already lost it when his asked for a return.

      In fact he should balance you sef. It is a two way street @poster.

    3. Lool kabuoy she is fine thanks hun...she is the one pinching me even not the other way round :)

    4. Really big he- goat
      I will beat him to his game n involve the police 1st

    5. Really big he- goat
      I will beat him to his game n involve the police 1st

    6. Abi o. Return fire!! Ontop Wetin naa?
      Let him return his own too. It's a mutual thing. Poster stand your ground jareyy.

  13. Return them.
    But make sure he does not come to ur house to collect dem. Take dem in a taxi to his house and hand dem over to him while sitting in ur taxi. And make sure d taxi driver zooms off the formula 1 Daytona Int'l Speedway style.
    Good riddiance to stinking rubbish.

  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

  15. The guy's stupidity is on another level o! Return wetin!? He should involve the army, navy, airforce, SSS, JTF, lasma, V.I.O and even BH, no be only police.
    What won't one hear from people of the world. Hian! Na wa o

  16. Smh. What a petty man. I would ad ise that you return everything he bought you, and don't request the things you bought him back. He is the one with the excess baggage (pun intended). Return his things to the last hairpin,and free yourself. Go into your new relationship light.

  17. Na wa o! Lol. Except he's a "mad man", don't return anything! Block his numbers, delete him from social media. Move on!

  18. Return gini? Since you already stated that you made expenses as well, he has no right to ask u to return anything.
    Like someone suggested above, beat him to it, by first involving the police and letting them know he's a bitter ex, who's trying to eat his cake and have it.
    I'm sure they'll be on your side....most times sef, police no dey put mouth for domestic matter. It can NEVER be a criminal case even if he involves the army, so nothing to worry about.

    If you do not have strength for all that, then quietly return it, otherwise DO NOT!!!

  19. Kindly return the items without delay. He's been spiteful and no one needs that kind of negativity. Its sad that he decided to go the petty route but its his shame and not yours. If i were you i would return the items and include a gift and a note. Let him chew his heart out.


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