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Intuition, Lotanna & I.





I can't remember the first time I met *Lotanna, even if I tried. I was much younger though, probably my early to mid twenties. He didn't live too far away and back then when I was walking out to catch a cab he would come and walk with me, or give me a ride. On evenings I took strolls with my dad and Lotanna was outside his house, he would also come over and greet my dad and say hi to me. Same thing he did one morning my mum and I were driving out. 

He was always in and out of the country but when he was in, he would make a lot of effort to see me. We went on our first date a few years after we first met. After that either I vanished or he vanished. Two years later he calls me and asks to see me, he was in my neighborhood. I say oh, I'm not around, I've actually moved out. 

Really? Where to? He asks. I tell him. 

Oh seen? I moved too. I stay in Lekki 1 now, we should see soon. I okay it. 

Still I probably didn't see Lotanna until after another one year. This was after about 8000 calls, and only because I was stranded. 

Sasha boné came to see me at work and we closed together. I got into a fight with my 'ride' so I had to call back up. Back up came through but wanted us to hang out, like till midnight or so. Neither sasha nor I wanted to. So I called Lotanna to come and get us from the lounge. He showed up almost immediately. He was super psyched that I called him and became an excitable little puppy. Even sasha messaged her amusement to me via whatsapp from the backseat. On getting to Sasha's house I came down from the car, I wanted to go in with her. I didn't want to be alone with Lotanna. Sasha practically had to shove me back into the car and shoo me off. 

He wanted us to have drinks before dropping me off. In order to avoid long story I assented but said I needed to change clothes first. On getting to my place, he waited in the car and I went in. Then I immediately locked the gate and called his phone. I told him something just came up and I wouldn't be able to go anymore, we would have to see some other time. He was very disappointed and upset, but I honestly couldn't be bothered. To pacify him I promised we would see the next day. He called the next day and I didn't pick his calls. He didn't stop calling. 

It's been about five months and I just answered his call an hour ago, and only because I needed a distraction. 

When I picked, his first question was "Nwando did you see me beating you in your dream or what?"  

I'm not surprised. I can't blame him for asking. 

You see the thing is this... Lotanna is a good looking man. He's probably an inch shorter than I am and has a stocky build. He's athletic and there's no ounce of fat in his body. He's not only handsome but rich. I love his kind of "rich" because he's extremely hardworking. He is a proper igbo hustler. The day he got Sasha and I, he came in an army green LR4, one among his fleet. He's educated and very well travelled and loves the luxurious life. Normally I would lurv a guy like Lotanna, from his extensive range of designer cologne, to his very impressive wrist watch collection, his well tailored clothing and his nice cars... I love a man who takes care of himself, but that's not all. More importantly he's a good conversationalist, like I said, he is an extreme hard worker; a risk taking shrewd business man. AND Lotanna doesn't joke with God. (Ok, I don't know that for a fact, but I know he's very active in church and is an avid church goer). 

Yes, normally I would do just about anything to be in Lotanna's life. So why am I doing everything not to be in it? 

I'm genuinely confused. After the last call, and his questions; "did you see me beating you in your dream?" "Why don't you take my calls?" "Why don't you want to see me?" "Did I do something wrong, please tell me?" "You know it's not fair. I have thought and thought if I did something bad to you and I couldn't think of anything. Why do you avoid me?"

And that's the million dollar question. Why do I avoid Lotanna? Could it be my intuition telling me something? I've never been one of those with super strong intuitions, but when I think about it that's the only explanation that comes to mind. Here I am, in bed, severely bored and uninspired and I want nothing more than to go out, it's Friday night dammit!. I've got a good-looking, generous man offering to take me places, but I would sooner walk on glass than go anywhere with him. 

Why? 

Because intuition is the only plausible explanation I can come up with (if you have other ideas or theories, please share with me), I want to know about you and your intuition. Has there ever been a time that you did or didn't do something just based on your intuition, and it turned out to be the best choice you could have made? Please share with me. 

Comments

  1. Thelma, I could easily say it's intuition as well, but again could it be that you are just not attracted to him.

    When I was single and actively searching, there was this guy I met in church, good looking, tall and had a great job.

    He was about the most gentle man I ha met, the britico kind of gentle.

    I was impressed with the general package but something just didn't click for me. Infact when I turned him down, my mum said this my selection galore would land me in wahala. Lol.

    Turns out my instincts saved me from some major ...ish if I had gotten on board.

    Now, in this case I could explain it but I could feel the need not to get on with this dude.

    My question is do you have any negative thoughts towards him, something eerie?

    How about you just give a one date and clarify all these doubts. You never know.

    And eeehen, how come he ain't marry since?

    Just curious?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Clare, nothing eerie. But that one date several years ago I noticed a bit of a temper. He was quite rude to other road users and I found that distasteful. But that's something I could work with and work on, if I like someone.

      Delete
  2. T this one hard oh. I read one story on BN and the girl said she did not like her husband when they met but one day God made the scales fall from her eyes. Maybe scales are covering your eyes?

    ReplyDelete
  3. *now in this case, I couldn't explain....

    ReplyDelete
  4. Probably because he is always available. The day you need help again and call him and he does not show up cos of a girl that's the day you'll know how u really feel about him or maybe you are not just attracted to him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon u just took d words out of me. Same thing wt my fiancé.. When I first met him he was too available sef to a fault.. As in na Wetin?? According to anon 10:56 the scales fell from my eyes n I decided to give him a chance and ever since I've never regretted my actions. I even regret not knowing him earlier in my life bcos it's always an amazing experience wt him.
      Instincts are real mehnn n should never be taken for granted. Good luck T with whatever decision you take. But always remember that we're all humans with imperfections. Cheers.

      Delete
  5. Village winch.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thelma, I could easily say it's intuition as well, but again could it be that you are just not attracted to him.

    When I was single and actively searching, there was this guy I met in church, good looking, tall and had a great job.

    He was about the most gentle man I ha met, the britico kind of gentle.

    I was impressed with the general package but something just didn't click for me. Infact when I turned him down, my mum said this my selection galore would land me in wahala. Lol.

    Turns out my instincts saved me from some major ...ish if I had gotten on board.

    Now, in this case I could explain it but I could feel the need not to get on with this dude.

    My question is do you have any negative thoughts towards him, something eerie?

    How about you just give a one date and clarify all these doubts. You never know.

    And eeehen, how come he ain't marry since?

    Just curious?

    ReplyDelete
  7. It could be intuition.
    It could be lack of attraction.
    It could be that your mind looks forward to having another man, not him. Your mind may want someone else which is why you don't care much about being with him.

    -F

    ReplyDelete
  8. You avoid him cos u r a user. Period.
    Check itself Thelma

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. *yourself. Call me a user if you want but biko ayam not an "It". Lol.

      Delete
    2. Hahaha. No be small "ayam not an 'it' ". Lmao. Thelma gaan sleep o.

      Delete
    3. Ok sir. Off to bed I am. *Big Grin*.

      Delete
    4. Totally agree. You are a user. I know a few people that cut off ties with you just because of this.

      Delete
    5. *looks around* *counts people in my circle*. Still Complete. Sayonara to the imaginary people that cut off ties.

      Yours truly, Madam User.

      (Father Daddy please strengthen my Using Game. My mates be using and getting cars and millions, I be using people for five-minute car rides. Damn girl, step your game up!)


      Delete
    6. Let's be honest, Thelma comes across as a user, wannabe and a social climber, don't let the faux over-sharing of personal info fool u.

      Delete
    7. Wait, the over sharing is meant to make people not know that I'm a social climber, user and wannabe? Give me more credit nau. Kilode?

      Delete
    8. Lol thats the word ive been looking for! "Social climber" , spot on.

      Delete
    9. I love your spirit T. Allow people who don't know you say what they don't know. Just keep laughing.

      Delete
    10. I love you right back Steele!

      Delete
    11. Thelma, you over share to give the impression that you are open and honest and deflect from ur gum body syndrome.

      Delete
  9. About 8 years ago I was about entering a bus to go see my aunt when I noticed something about the conductor. At that time of the day they're usually pretty carefree and focused in their work at the same time but this guy was calling out his destination and focusing intently on commuters at the bus station rather unusually. I didn't like the way he was scrutinizing potential passengers so I refused to go in. As he continued calling for commuters I noticed a lady prevent her companion from entering the bus, telling her that her spirit became troubled when they were about entering into it. I was fascinated and even drawing wild presumptions in my mind.

    Intuition is the direct perception of fact usually without logical process. Fortunately intuition isn't without reason. So, Thelma, if you're basing your stance with him on intuition there must be something about him that triggered it. After all you've known him for years so what's it about him that's making you AFRAID? Because from what I've read so far there's no tangible reason for your intuition. It's obvious you're (abit) attracted to him and you've even gone as far as presuming he's close to GOD. LOL. So, Thelma, kilode?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm... I really don't know. You know there are some people that your spirit just doesn't accept, or so they say. Maybe this is one of those situations.

      Delete
    2. 1.16am Thelma. Like seriously?

      Delete
  10. Some months ago, we were having lectures in a class when a woman came in with her husband to beg. He was limping on one leg, shaking his head like it has no control and occasionally pretending he wants to vomit. The woman said he was involved in an accident and since then he's gone blind, deaf and can't keep his head in one place, she also said they've done series of 'operations' on him but he's yet to get better so they need money for another one . Our lecturer was touched and he was even the first to give them money before other students followed suit. All through, my mind kept telling me this man is fine that he's just pretending so when my friend wanted to give, I told her not to because the man is ok. She reluctantly agreed and said 'Hope na u say make I no give am o' I told her not to worry coz I was sure I'll see them again.
    Hours later, while going for another class i saw them coming from another department, the man was walking perfectly, no longer shaking his head and no longer blind. Immediately I tapped my friend and showed her and she was like 'Ha! Na wayo people be this o! Thank God I didn't give them my money, 'Hope how did you know them'? She was so amazed and I laughed her to scorn.

    T maybe there's something about him you are yet to find out that's why you are finding it hard to click with him. Time will tell.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Reminds me of when I was in UNIBEN, one dude can beg for Africa and subsequently we would see him buying meat pie and small stout. Meat pie and small stout, who does that? Lolz

      Delete
    2. Lmaooo! What exactly is your problem with the combination Uyi? Looool. Meat pie and small stout don't go together? Or would it have been better with pepper soup? Looool!

      Delete
  11. Maybe it's intuition, you might be right.
    But then, the naija in me has to say "all these toasters you have, why not pray and pick one? there is no mr perfect"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with Ada_ugo at least give him a chance, I think you have just zeroed him off in your mind because there is no thrill or mystery around him for you again.

      Delete
    2. Must someone marry sef? Just asking...
      Why can't someone just have kids and train them alone (without a 'companion')? I'm not saying Thelma should follow suit but its not a bad idea.

      Still #justsaying

      Delete
    3. Uyi its not a bad idea, if one can undertake all the work of child rearing alone that is

      Delete
  12. Thelma, One of your readers says of you "that girl is small ogbanje"!. Could this be the reason for turning away what could be deemed as a good 'catch'? Kikikikikiki

    As for me, I've always trusted instincts! If it's strong enough to make you look your gate and refuse to go back out, then I think it's best you be careful with him. You could give him a try just in case your intuition is wrong but be guarded at all times. Public meetings, careful observations et all...at least until you feel differently.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thelma you know i met someone in a similar situation right before I met my husband. The guy was perfect, just not for me. There is nothing wrong with that provided you don't lead him on. What is for you will be for you, so please do not be hurried into making a decision when you are not ready to.

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
  14. Sorry, can't help, I believe this is a question for females. Am too("I don't know the word to use here and still sound politically correct") let's say gangster for this, maybe unemotional, or something.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Everyone has intuitions Alfarsi. Male and female. But I'm curious to know what makes you "too gangster"?

      Delete
    2. Like I said, I really don't know the word. Maybe gangster is wrong. But issues like this just irks me. For the pple calling u user, I disagree, I wouldn't say you are, but that's because I have no idea. If their is a word worse than novice in matters of the heart, then that's what I am. Let's say I feel like I have seen it all. And look at things from a perspectitive and completely emotionally unavailable. Maybe too manipulative, babe, I just don't know myself. The only thing I know is am Ibo, and currently on that hustling, acquiring and acquiring wealth, yet still feeling empty. Am done.

      Delete
    3. I see you bruv alfarsi... Your head is there man

      Delete
    4. LOL Alfarsi, you don't know me but neither does that person (yes person, as in 1) who claims to. But hey, everyone to their own opinion, right or misguided.

      Now on to more important matters, you sound rather young and that makes me not like the use of the word "empty". You may feel like you've seen it all and done it all, but there's so much more that you're yet to, thus the void you feel. I'm even scared to get deep with you because you might regard it as too emotional or feminine. That said, there's nothing wrong with being "gangster", I just wanted to know why you said that.

      Why are you out? Come back hia!!!

      Delete
    5. Hmm. Too young. Naa. Don't think so. I think am ur mate, or maybe older than u. Will be 30 on the 30th day of September this year. And my youngest true friend is 44. That's just to give u an insight of what my life and view on life would be. When I say seen it all, I mean it. At the risk of sounding boisterous I would say I have had all the women I ever wanted, once I spot and say I want, I get. I can play or act anything they want me to be and I land her, then off to the next, it becomes too easy and boring, they say women are complicated, but I say they are simple. Even if a woman is in a relationship, I could still get her, we called it officiating a take over back in the day. a sweet tongue, good looks mixed with the finer things in life and a lil bit of patience and u get any woman, no matter how classy.

      That's why I don't meddle or believe in emotional brouhaha. I have even been amazed at myself when I score some girls in long term relationships that are even willing to end it, it baffles me, and the way I get other people's own, is the way mine would eventually be gotten by some other dude that might not even work so hard to, so I'd rather not attach too much emotions to female matter.

      Cuz money can buy any woman. Even chimamanda 😀

      Delete
  15. Thelma i'm vexing for you o! pick your calls nah!!!!!!! Me that I was just calling to check up on you! *side eyes*

    To the post... mehn... I am currently in this situation! like I just don't know. He calls... texts.. tries to find ways to see me... I just don't feel attracted to him. me that can talk for africa.. gist you about how my day went... even to what the bike man said when I got down... I just can't seem to make myself discuss things with him. No attraction whatsoever! I feel bad at times... like i'm being too harsh... it's been 3 years now! and I just don't know... chai.. I get the don't lead him on part and iv been trying not to... but mehn... the persistence noh be here o.
    I even tried to pray for God to even put his love in my heart... but mehn.. still no attraction. how can I marry someone i'm not attracted to... how?! momsy says it'll grow but mehn... I just don't see it or feel it yet...
    (on a lighter note) maybe it's memphis that's blocking the love sef. Lmaoo!(what F said about being attracted to someone else) loool
    And maybe that's it tho... I have this friend I have always.... let me just end it there

    But on a more serious note... iv been attracted to other guys... I can "crush" for africa! loool! But I just don't feel anything for this guy! In fact ehn... o ti su mi! my rant sef is getting too long.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Memphis.... Subliminal message loading.... Lmao, the seed has been planted now lemme watch it grow.
      On another note, my ex was never attracted to me and she never saw us dating so she super friendzoned me and I stayed in that zone for years, I even quit toasting her but something happened and I was the one that was now running from the love because it was too much. She kept saying that she doesn't know how it happened. Moral of the story, sometimes attraction isn't instant but it can grow if you spend enough time with the person. My advise is stop looking for attraction and just be good friends, anything can happen.

      Delete
    2. Loool... Steele... you've been away for too long o... I have declared my "crush" since naah! looool! Just that... I have left him for my darling sweet gentle Tiwa *kisses* lool

      Thanks for the advice Steele.. thing is... recently, he called and said I should tell him things I like and hate about him... all those mushy long tins... *rolls eyes* and I was like I don't know you that well... and he went.."can we be close friends" and I was like "aaaarhhh!!! Nooo!" in my mind tho... and immediately I felt bad/guilty" o ga o!
      If I should eventually fall in love with this guy and marry him, I will become a marriage counselor ni sharp sharp! Loool. I wie noh even waste time(smh for me.. lol)

      Delete
    3. I've really been away for too long, who's your darling sweet gentle Tiwa?
      So you people have been playing love without me? Lol
      Meanwhile Kabuoy (you wie still tell me the meaning of this your name...lol) the guy's tactics are all wrong so your reaction to him isn't surprising. One thing you should never do is ask for friendship, it's tactless and wreaks of insincerity. A better way is to be around and available and show the person what a good friend you can be, if the person still takes you for granted then move on. Their loss not yours.

      Delete
    4. Kabuoy vexing for me ke. I called your phone severally earlier today but it was switched off. I eventually had to call Sunshine and you weren't even there!. So who should be vexing here?

      Delete
  16. Well I'd say you should get out of your own way and get some closure, try to spend some more time with him and figure out what exactly is causing the repulsion. That information might help you in the future, you never know.

    ReplyDelete
  17. cccc copied and pasted9:57 am, July 19, 2015

    Well I'd say you should get out of your own way and get some closure, try to spend some more time with him and figure out what exactly is causing the repulsion. That information might help you in the future, you never know.

    ReplyDelete

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