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Nigerian Wives, Do You Get Lazy After The Wedding?

Thelma read the post, I am currently experiencing something similar. When my wife and I were dating it was fun all the way. It was not perfect but we enjoyed ourselves, including in bed.
Now only one year after we got married things have changed, she now has all these inhibitions that she never used to have and those were some of the things that attracted me to her. She used to give me he*d and do other fun things, now she says it is not godly, or she is fasting and we cannot make love when she is fasting. Imagine. Please where is it in the bible that a wife should deny her husband of sex because she is fasting or praying? I am getting frustrated, although I have never cheated on her she is tempting me to do it. Nigerian women blame their husbands for cheating on them but most of them get lazy or too comfortable once they get married. I wonder why that is. Before you ask we don't have a child yet so what is her excuse?

Hmmm, I cannot answer this question, but I saw a comment on Bella Naija weeks ago which this post reminds me of. Comment below:

  • "It is me ******* , sent from the future to warn present day singletons about the perils of marriage. It is not all it is cracked up to be. It is nothing like the movies; and it is certainly nothing like the wedding reception.
  • – There is no sex on tap. I had more sex when I was single, and wild, and free, and I could proposition a fair maiden with a flicker of my index pinkie, or the flex on my slicker tongue. After marriage, your hand becomes your best friend, and my palms contain enough callouses from waxing my phallus. My poor phallus. 
  • – People (read women here, as I am a dude) change after you say “I do”. Was she naggy, confrontational, selfish and entitled? Adding Mrs to the front of her government name seems to intensify her ills. Now she has the marriage certificate and an army of in-laws as backers, to torment your life further. In some societies, you may even have to pay her a child support for the privilege.
  • – I miss the days hanging out with the fellas, without a care in the world. Those days have now been replaced by morning breath, bills, changing diapers and taking out the trash."

***Oh dear. I'm out of depth here. Naija wives do you have anything to say about this? Husbands do you agree with the comment above? Any thoughts on the post above?


  1. T hawfar with "Clark Kent" nau?.. Dabira woman?

    1. LOL. But I said i would keep that private nau... @Clark Kent.

    2. Eya but u said u'd still tell us small... Or u can just whisper to the curious me and give her some kinda 'closure' on that mata biko. Lol!

    3. LOL. Clark Kent is very fine, I'm sure!

    4. Eeehn ok O! Fair enough.

  2. In my opinion using some "skills" to tie a man down then refuse him those things after marriage is tantamount to fraud but lemme keep quiet and learn from the married ones, please you guys should help us that haven't married yet so we won't fall for tricks too.

  3. This is the first time I am hearing this from women.

    I remember in school my neighbours and I were discussing,can't remember what exactly but one of them said "......a married man needs to have a side chick whom he can take to events and do all the crazy sex styles with,that a wife is meant to be respected and not made to do all these...."

    I was so pissed when I heard him say this and now hearing this from women leaves me speechless. I just hope they don't come crying and disturbing our ears with how unhappy their marriage has become and how their husbands neglects them.

    The thought of how some marriages are sends shivers down my spine.....I can't deal abeg!

  4. Hmmm I don't know about others o but me I'm far from lazy!!! I didn't have any sort of sex with hubby while dating so I was over prepared to be a tigress when are got married lol.
    I think what ever u were doing when u were dating should be doubled

    As per the poster, yes when one spouse is fasting they should cut off sexual activities but first have to take permission from the other partner.
    Hubby fast at least once a a week and he let's me know in advance so me too I behave my self Hehe

  5. Lmao @ "Please where is it in the bible that a wife should deny her husband of sex because she is fasting or praying?". Well brother, it's not explicitly writing in the Holy Bible but it's obvious from some verses that sex (even among married couples) diminishes holiness. Check this out:

    Exodus 19vs15: Moses said to the people, "Be ready in 3 days and abstain from sexual relations"

    1Samuel 21vs5: Ahimelech said to David, "I don't have ordinary bread at hand, only HOLY BREAD. If your men have abstained from women they may eat it".

    1Corinthians 7vs33: He who is unmarried is taken up by the things of the world and how to please his wife, and he is divided in his interests.

    So if your wife desires to abstain from sex while fasting, please understand where she's coming from. It's obviously not sinful but obviously reduces the effect of prayers. However I echo Steele's sentiments on being depraved of sex from ones spouse for any reason at all.
    "...using some "skills" to tie a man down then refuse him those things after marriage is tantamount to fraud...".

    Your spouse has exclusive right to your body and should be allowed a *free pass* however he/she likes. There should be mutual understanding ofcourse

    1. Chai, Memphis you sabi Bible small sha

    2. Sir Memphis sabi plenty o

    3. A spouse should not deny his /her partner sex while fasting unless d other party consents to it Its in d bible.
      Dear poster i think your wife just understood d scripture a little differently.
      My thoughts are :
      1.Show her where it is in the bible and discuss it ( 1Corithians 7:5 ).
      2. You should also try to understand and help her grow spiritually likewise she understanding you but one person cant make that decision for the other.

      I wish you two the best.

  6. *He who is MARRIED...*
    *explicitly WRITTEN...*

    Please forgive typos

  7. All these "crazy styles" men are expecting... sometimes I feel like i'm out of touch with this world! Like how will I do all these things. My knowledge of sex is limited to what iv read in books(harlequin, mills and boons, Sandra brown and the likes) and maybe two or three sex scenes in movies. Like "about last night". The styles in that movie scared the hell out of me!
    I just feel so lost and out of touch with all these. And I just don't know how i'll do it... like really. I just try not to think about it too much. all iz well.

    1. In other words you're a virgin.... I'm so proud of you. Please stay that way. But don't be scared, some people were like you before they tasted the forbidden then they are the ones that now turned and became terrorists.

    2. Thank you Anon! I thought I was the only one.

    3. Anon don't bother your beautiful mind. Your inexperience says you're probably a virgin and even the most adventurous lovers were once virgins. When the time comes and the right person comes, y'all would have fun exploring together. I'd recommend you let go of your inhibitions, read/watch some educative erotic literature/movies (porn isn't always the best teacher), and generally just have fun. It's not rocket science.

  8. First, do the men "romance" the women the same way they did when single? It's not easy for a woman to work all day, tend to children/ home/ husband in the evening and automatically feel like a sex kitten at night.
    That being said, I think marital sex is awesome, guilt free activity! Personally, as long as both parties consent, I don't believe any sexual act (with very few exceptions) are taboo. In fact, I read somewhere that married people have more sex than singles because all you have to do is roll over and the fun has started.
    In my personal experience, I have found that a lot of sexual inhibition comes from Nigerian men (it demeans the mother of my children to do some sexual acts, etc, etc)
    TL,DR Abeg enjoy sex to the fullest when you marry! Otherwise it makes no sense!
    My two cents.

    1. pls tell the men, u want her to be a tigress in bed, take care of u and the kids etc remeber she had no in laws then, no responsibilities.
      Having a baby reduces the urge for some people. If u want more make the time for her, help her out and you will surely reap the dividends

    2. sweetpeaches you're quite right.

  9. I believe the part of fasting and denial of sex has been well handled by Elder Memphis (Nice one Memphis btw).

    I also believe that sexual expectations and requirements in marriage by a spouse are best handled when there is mutual understanding and respect for one’s physiological needs. Your sexual expectations can be communicated through a discussion with your wife and also primarily through understanding her moods, temperament, anatomy and other pertinent issues of a woman. Yes she might be staunch on denying you some of the frontiers of sex but I’d argue that if you could make her feel cherished she’d be willing to meet you halfway. I once heard a story of a man who upon rushing home after work to have sex with his wife found her dismissive about entertaining any sex activity. He swallowed his disappointment and decided to clean up the house which was in serious disarray. The wife upon stepping out of her room saw his efforts and gave him one reply, ‘the night is still young’…..

    The excuse/argument that a man can cheat because his wife denies him sex is at best weak. A vow was made and all efforts should first be made to honour that vow. Communication, understanding and if all fails, separation can do much to rectify the situation.

  10. I don't know where to start...

  11. When lust meets greed!what do you except!

  12. ..reading comments... No contribution.. Lol


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