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Rose & Mr Hotshot (Major Oops Moment!)




The Regional Director of my company had asked me to accompany him to a summit. This was my opportunity to make a good impression and share some of my ideas for the company moving forward. I spent weeks trying to get my outfit right, Sarayah scrubs and body treatments all the way baby!!

Anyway so on this faithful day we had breakfast at the hotel and it went great, we discussed some of the problems the company was facing and I could see , I was impressing him with my solutions. After breakfast we made our way to the lobby to await our rides to commence the trip to the summit. Our Regional Director asked that I joined his car so we could discuss more. I was soo eager, not only to impress but to get into his Bentley.
Our conversation was going great until I had a feeling Mr Regional Director was flirting with me.
“I love how you are as beautiful as your are intelligent” He said looking straight into my eyes. I blushed so much, I could feel butterflies in my tummy.
” Aww thank you sir”
“Rose, stop calling me sir, call me Andy”
I could not believe Mr great catch bachelor of the freakin country just asked me to call him by his first name and said I was beautiful” The feeling in my tummy grew a little more intense. But nevertheless, I had to keep it professional.
“Thank you Andy, I have drawn up a marketing plan that will guarantee over 100% ROI” I responded flatly.
He came a little closer to me and whispered.
” Rose, I dont want to make you uncomfortable but, I like you, I have liked you for quite some time and I am interested in taking you out for dinner, please would you make my entire year by agreeing to 
be my plus 1 at the summit and accompanying me to dinner tonight in France, Tickets have been booked”
I was soo shocked and flattered that my tummy started rumbling. I knew exactly what was coming, this was not a fairy tale ‘butterflies in my tummy’ feeling. My tummy has scattered! I needed to SHIIIIT not poop, i need a proper shit! I started sweating even tho the aircon was on. Do you know how hard it is to sound intelligent when there is a war going on in your arse?. I tried to keep my cool, while he was talking all I could do was focus on the pain and the irresistible urge I had to push down and poo.
“Rose are you okay”
” who me?” I had forgotten my name
“Yeh you look flushed”
“Really, maybe we should stop for some fresh air” I said 
“Oh Rose we are on the motorway, we are not allowed to stop unless its an emergency”
In my mind I said ” This is a freaking emergency” but i was able to mutter an okay.
After about 5 minutes of mr catch of my life toasting me and my mind on keeping that shit in, I thought to hell with it.
“Stop the car now, quick, stop the car” I yelled.
The driver stop on the hard shoulder. I jumped into the bush, pulled down my underwear and SHAT, it was a mess!
Only after I was able to poo, I noticed, i was very visible to the whole motorway and my regional director who turned around to give me privacy. 

When i was done, I got back in the car, there was silence. 1 minute later we arrived at the summit! Shall i take it that the date in France is off? 

***
LMAO! Do you think the date with Andy AKA Mr Hotshot if off, should she kiss France goodbye?

@Sarayahbeauty shared  this last night and I had a good laugh, I hope you did too. But tell us, ever had any major Oops moment like Rose here? Whats your most embarrassing moment?

Comments

  1. You don't want to know in details. My God, its crazy when you are in that situation...no, predicament. you start sweating(I keep wondering why)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Loool... that's a special kind of sweat man! you cannot explain it.


      The day this kind of thing happened to me ehn, I thought I was gonna pass out. I gave the okada man 1000 naira for a 50 naira journey and ran into the eatery without waiting to collect my change.
      Mehn... it wasn't funny at all.

      The man(God bless his soul) waited for me to come out, gave me a piece of his mind(lol) then my change, before he left.

      Delete
  2. Lol, really funny,that moment when u can no longer hold it. Lol. This has just made my day.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Na,this is what they call "almost success syndrome".lol.
    The poor relationship died before It barely begun.
    Well who knows? The "shat" might have saved her from who-knows-what...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Who no they shit? Even animals and insect sef shit. Abeg Mr. Posh if you are not gonna date me again because i had to do an emergency" shit " then i guess i just dodged a bullet.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lols this is too funny. I guess everyone has at one time or the other, been so pressed so Mr Posh should take it in stride.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Lol
    Rose is only human,the date should still be on,that story will always be a funny one if they eventually get to date

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yep...this is the kind of situation children find themselves and they 'let go' on dia body(in pidgin) and we adults spank them for not 'controlling' the situation!...Oga Hotshot should understand abeg, besides if say na him nko? lolzzzzz....#JoyDaNuGirl

    ReplyDelete
  8. She dodged a bullet. She would have been used and dumped. Now every time he sees her, he'll remember her squatting by the side of the road. Let her be remembered for her brain.

    Mallama

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh my goodness! I couldn't finish reading. I felt so ashamed on her behalf....lol

    I pray I don't find myself in such situations abeg I no fit shout.

    ReplyDelete

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