*Oluchi has been engaged to *Ugo for over a year now, with no wedding in sight. The couple is still very much in love and eager to make it official. However Oluchi's in-laws to be are reluctant to welcome her into their fold. They loved her when she and Ugo were just dating, it was all fun and games until Ugo got down on one knee and proposed. Suddenly his entire family remembered that Oluchi is from a polygamous home and their son therefore cannot marry her.
In moments of frustration there are times I wish I could go to Ugo's family myself and tell them just how wonderful Oluchi is, how amazing she is as a person; kind, accommodating, industrious and compassionate. I know her and know for a fact she's even a better person than I and most other people from "stable", "proper", "functional" homes. Made me scream BS at the stereotypes that follow people from polygamous families and broken homes.
Broken homes and the stereotypes... I thinks that's even worse, another topic entirely, perhaps.
Then some months ago I had the misfortune of meeting someone whose character stunned me, not on a good way, and then did this thing that resulted in me saying indeed someone from a proper home wouldn't act this way. Just maybe these stereotypes are founded after all.
And then my colleague who's from a polygamous home says he will never marry someone from a polygamous home. He says so many unprintable things about his experiences growing up, and why most people from polygamous (and broken homes) end up having behavioral problems. He constantly reiterates that he cannot marry a product of a polygamous home, and neither will his children. I once had to ask; you're adamant in your refusal to as much as date a girl from a polygamous family, so which single girl from a "proper" home is going to have the ill luck of being stuck with you?
I dislike stereotypes and it particularly irks me because I know some people from these homes, well rounded, solid individuals. And I've known people, befriended people, dated people, from traditional homes, the supposed proper homes, who happen to be bloody wankers!
So what gives? What informs these beliefs that any product from a polygamous home is automatically a flight risk and as such, should be avoided? That people from polygamous families are likely to be dysfunctional, and naturally polygamous by default. What factors or attributes contributed in birthing this stigmatization and what attributes keep it thriving even in modern society? Or do people just act based on preconceptions?
What are your experiences in your dealings with people from these homes? How have you found your relations and interactions with them to be? Do you really consider them different from you?
More importantly, are you from a polygamous home? Do you feel stigmatized or feel your background has caused you certain losses; maybe opportunities, maybe relationships or marriage?
Please do share.