The woman (a family friend) introduced a junior colleague (they both work in the same firm) to one of her clients who was looking to settle down quickly in marriage. He didn't want a long engagement. They both took to each other immediately and true to his words they got engaged after a three month courtship. They followed it up with an introduction; a small event between both families. Two weeks ago they went to take some medical tests. They already knew each other's Genotype and are compatible but an official confirmation was needed. On their way home, he began to preach about the importance of honesty in a relationship.
He went on to reveal that two of his ex-girlfriends had abortions for him. He then asked her if she has ever had an abortion. He assured her that he wouldn't mind if the answer is YES after all his exes are married with children. She admitted to having terminated a pregnancy at 19 but it was a safe abortion.
To her surprise, he took the revelation well. Everything was the same until last week when his attitude suddenly changed. He stopped calling her, picking her calls, ignored her BBM messages. Even his older brother and two sisters whom she had become close to also began to avoid her. To cut the long story short, he called off the engagement because he doesn't want to marry a girl that has had an abortion.
My family friend(the matchmaker) is furious but mainly because of what she termed the girl's 'naivety' and 'stupidity'. Who admits to such things? she asked. Was the girl really naïve and stupid? Was she just being honest about her medical history?
This was originally posted on Linda Ikeji's blog. I feel sorry for the lady this happened to, but how many times must I sing it, f**k full disclosure!!! MEN JUDGE! I know I just sounded very stereotypical but I'm sorry, I'm telling what experience/research/observations have taught me. He may not judge you today but fifteen years from now he just might spring up that dirt from your past which even you had forgotten about. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule.
I had this convo with my girlfriends once and the doctor among us said; "full disclosure is important because when you withhold some things like abortion then get married and cannot get pregnant, you guys now both go to see a doctor, he runs some tests and discovers the fault must be from a carelessly done evacuation. Then he confronts you about. How do you know face your husband when you either lied about having an abortion, or never told him about it/them ?" She says they see several situations like this in Practice.
Honestly, inasmuch as I'm pro-non full disclosure, Sandra's statement gave me chills. It's a very valid question. So 1 for Full Disclosure, 0 for Non-Full Disclosure. Or what do you think?
And back to the poster's question; Was the girl really naïve and stupid? Was she just being honest about her medical history? Would you have told the truth, believing that love demands honesty and holds no judgment, or would you have conveniently chosen to forget that procedure and told a lie?