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When Cute Turns Creepy.

Admittedly his jealousy was cute. My ego became near orgasmic watching him ask who was calling and what he wanted. Or seeing him turn green when he caught me staring at another guy. Those were cute. Everyone wants to feel wanted, wants to know that they're wanted. Wants to know that someone wants them so much they want to be the only one that has your heart. It's all well and good. 

My heart went to mush when I saw the pictures of Chris Brown trying to get Karrauche to talk to him outside that party, post breakup. At that moment he didn't care that there were cameras, that the paparazzi were there, that the gossip blogs would feed off the images, that he was looking like a complete fool. All that mattered was that Karauche talk to him. And isn't that cute? Well you might think so if haven't lived the nightmare of watching cute turn to creepy. 

Cute turned to creepy when I had to explain in detail why I said hi to a male acquaintance I ran into. Cute turned to creepy when another guy looked at me and he would get mad at me. Like, how was it my fault if someone wanted to look at me for a second longer than was necessary? Cute turned to creepy when he'll send me airtime then check the balance the next day, then check my call log to see who I called and for how long, and why. Cute turned to creepy when he bought me new phones and got rid of the old ones so I wouldn't have any old contacts. Cute turned to creepy when he wanted to change my lines so that no one would be able to reach me. Cute turned to creepy when he met my bestie and immediately expressed deep dislike for her, and told me I didn't need such a friend, with not a single reason. Cute turned to creepy when I'd stay on the phone with my mum for sometime and he would get upset. Cute turned to creepy when he tried to cut my family off from me because "now that you have me you don't need them". Cute turned to creepy the day he said with chilling calm and clarity "If you cheat on me I would kill him and I would kill you, and nobody will touch me". Cute turned to creepy when a guy would call my phone and his hands would literally begin to tremor in agitation. Cute turned to creepy the day I found myself running for my dear life before night turned to day...

There really is a thin line between cute and creepy, no? Yes. Everyone wants to be wanted, loved, desired, needed and cared for. But when "love" begins to make you uncomfortable, frightened and anxious, it's not love. Love does not stifle, smother or suffocate. 

Anyhoooooo... I had a convo with a blog reader last night that set this off. She thinks some things her bobo does are cute, thinks he does them because he's so in love with her. I think he's controlling. I find that there's nothing cute about control. In fact it's often the first sign of emotional and physical abuse. 

But maybe you can help out here. If he dictates what she should wear, how she should dress, who she associates with, who she calls and who's allowed to call her, (among other things) is that cute? Could it be love?

Please talk to us. 


  1. it depends... on how it's done... and the fact that different people find different things "cute"
    sometimes, experience is the best teacher
    but the thing about experience is it lets you go through the situation first before teaching you the lesson it had planned out for you.

    So basically, your friends bf seems controlling from the little you've said. but there are other aspects of their relationship we're not privy too, so we can't say hitherto. Unfortunately, some people in situations like that find out when it's too late. But for some, it remains a cute affair. I hope it's the latter for her.

  2. Every one has different opinion on how they display their love, i just think some things shouldn't be taken lightly, when a man starts dictating your type of friends or clothes to wear, that is not love at all, most of these controlling men end up hitting you when you act contrary to what they say.

    I urge every girl to mind the kind of relationships they get into and ask God for grace as they get into one.

  3. I will go anonymous here. There is completely nothing cute about the scenario you painted. That is how emotional and physical abuse starts. Mark my words, if she stays on with that guy it's just a matter of time before the slaps begin. I am talking from experience. I feel pity for your friend. She is just experiencing the first signs, next he will cut her off from family and friends, then destroy her self confidence, if she tries to rebel, the violence starts. I had the privilege of talking to people that were also in abusive relationships 95% mirrored the above. Good luck to her.

    1. Seconded.

      "...If he DICTATES what she should wear, how she should dress, who she associates with, who she calls and who's allowed to call her..."

      Let's just hope she falls into the lucky 5%.

    2. Errrm can I say fourthed

    3. Hmmmmmmm true words anon.

    4. Hmmmmmmm true words anon.

    5. So true. Sadly most ladies overlook such seemingly minor signs all in d name of love. Ur friend should be careful n think n be analytical wt her head, not her heart.

  4. In 50Shades of Gray, control can be both cute and creepy but mostly hot!

    1. Hahahahahahahaaa! Sasha bone oooo! Chai! I'm short of words right now! Lmaooo!

    2. Hahahahahahahaaa! Sasha bone oooo! Chai! I'm short of words right now! Lmaooo!

  5. For real! Those 'cute turned to creepy' lines made me laugh.... Like seriously!? Hmmm na wa o

    I read something like this in a blog some weeks ago and the blogger said guys that behaves this way are called 'Othello'..... Something like that.

  6. Love is not jealous... Men that are too possessive can hit you.

  7. Like memphis said I pray she is part of the remaining 5% because some stories I read about controlling men and their partners are very scary....Lord help us!

  8. The abuse is already lined up. The guy in question is loosey goosey...even teenagers dont have their movements and activities monitored in such ways. This one is a demonic monitoring spirit looking for who's life to destroy along with his. There is no maybe or if - its when!


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