Admittedly his jealousy was cute. My ego became near orgasmic watching him ask who was calling and what he wanted. Or seeing him turn green when he caught me staring at another guy. Those were cute. Everyone wants to feel wanted, wants to know that they're wanted. Wants to know that someone wants them so much they want to be the only one that has your heart. It's all well and good.
My heart went to mush when I saw the pictures of Chris Brown trying to get Karrauche to talk to him outside that party, post breakup. At that moment he didn't care that there were cameras, that the paparazzi were there, that the gossip blogs would feed off the images, that he was looking like a complete fool. All that mattered was that Karauche talk to him. And isn't that cute? Well you might think so if haven't lived the nightmare of watching cute turn to creepy.
Cute turned to creepy when I had to explain in detail why I said hi to a male acquaintance I ran into. Cute turned to creepy when another guy looked at me and he would get mad at me. Like, how was it my fault if someone wanted to look at me for a second longer than was necessary? Cute turned to creepy when he'll send me airtime then check the balance the next day, then check my call log to see who I called and for how long, and why. Cute turned to creepy when he bought me new phones and got rid of the old ones so I wouldn't have any old contacts. Cute turned to creepy when he wanted to change my lines so that no one would be able to reach me. Cute turned to creepy when he met my bestie and immediately expressed deep dislike for her, and told me I didn't need such a friend, with not a single reason. Cute turned to creepy when I'd stay on the phone with my mum for sometime and he would get upset. Cute turned to creepy when he tried to cut my family off from me because "now that you have me you don't need them". Cute turned to creepy the day he said with chilling calm and clarity "If you cheat on me I would kill him and I would kill you, and nobody will touch me". Cute turned to creepy when a guy would call my phone and his hands would literally begin to tremor in agitation. Cute turned to creepy the day I found myself running for my dear life before night turned to day...
There really is a thin line between cute and creepy, no? Yes. Everyone wants to be wanted, loved, desired, needed and cared for. But when "love" begins to make you uncomfortable, frightened and anxious, it's not love. Love does not stifle, smother or suffocate.
Anyhoooooo... I had a convo with a blog reader last night that set this off. She thinks some things her bobo does are cute, thinks he does them because he's so in love with her. I think he's controlling. I find that there's nothing cute about control. In fact it's often the first sign of emotional and physical abuse.
But maybe you can help out here. If he dictates what she should wear, how she should dress, who she associates with, who she calls and who's allowed to call her, (among other things) is that cute? Could it be love?
Please talk to us.