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19 Relationship Truths Every Couple That Makes It Has To Accept. (Plus 1Confession).






1. Your partner’s best qualities—the ones that make you love them so damn much—will fail them sometimes. Because a person’s greatest strengths are also their greatest weaknesses.

2. And when your boyfriend or girlfriend goes too far—when intelligence becomes smart ass behavior, when confidence becomes obstinance, or wit becomes mean-spirited joking—it’s your job to see past that, and to love them anyway.

3. On other occasions, when you’re the one being too straightforward or too outspoken or too much of any trait that defines who you are, you’ll have to forgive your significant other for getting annoyed.

4. Humans frustrate each other—sometimes for no apparent reason—and couples that last understand this.

5. You will both have to smile and show up to some events when you’re not in the mood to do anything at all (a birthday dinner for someone’s mother, or a dull company cocktail party), purely because your partner needs you there.

6. You will also have to rally and feign excitement on special occasions that happen to fall on days when all you want is to sit at home and mope, because you both deserve the most upbeat version of each other on days worth celebrating.

7. You will not be attracted to your partner every day, because no one looks their best all the time. You might even loathe an outfit they insist on wearing constantly and you’ll wonder whether or not you should tell them this—until you remember that it really doesn’t matter.

8. The sex will not always be great. And that’s okay.

9. You will find yourself on the brink of saying the nastiest things to your boyfriend or girlfriend—because you’re not always capable of containing yourself, or because you’re in a bad mood and the person you love is the nearest target for your inner rage.

10. You will do things that hurt your boyfriend or girlfriend sometimes, whether you mean to or not—because accidents happen, and because people make mistakes.

11. You will have to give in and say you’re sorry sometimes, even if you still think you’re right, because repairing the relationship takes precedence over establishing fault.

12. You will have to tell each other a few white lies in spite of promising total honesty repeatedly, because harmless fibbing is necessary to peaceful living.

13. Sometimes, you’ll feel jealous of your partner because they look especially beautiful when you’re feeling crummy, or because someone hits on them and you can’t help feeling a little unworthy.

14. On other days, you’ll envy your partner for their professional accomplishments or their ability to amuse another person or their pleasant demeanor on a day when you can’t even muster the strength to laugh. 

15. You can’t be in synch with another human being on every single day of your lives together. That reality, when it hits, might depress you temporarily. Remembering that you can always realign if you just try is the only way forward.

16. There will be a relative in your significant other’s family whom you loathe, and you will have to pretend to like them sometimes. On the upside, tolerating your partner’s lame family member(s) will make you feel better about exposing them to your weird aunt, uncle, cousin, or nephew. In a healthy, long term relationship, everything’s reciprocal.

17. You will have to put on a brave face once in while, even when you’re terrified, simply because you’re slightly less terrified than your significant other, so it’s your responsibility to comfort them in the face of whatever troubles you’re experiencing.

18. You will wonder some days whether or not you’ll make it as a couple, because no two-person team is immune from doubting the strength of their bond.

19. When it seems impossible to get back to the passionate place where everything started, it’s your duty to remind each other that you’re both definitely worth it. 

***
I particularly loved reading this thought catalogue piece.  I actually happened upon this article when I was about to strangle someone, who probably wanted to strangle me too. It's reassuring to know its only normal to deal with certain things in relationships, that some days love will wane, that even the one you love will drive you up the wall, that you won't always find them attractive and they wouldn't always find you attractive either, that doubts are normal and it doesn't make what you both have less valid or less strong. 

Guys, who else has or is experiencing #14? I know the Bible says love isn't jealous but sometimes it's so hard not to be envious. Yet, it's particularly nerve wrecking when you're envious of your own partner's professional accomplishment. This leads to my confession;
Sometimes when we're together I make up phone calls or pretend to reply emails, just to make myself appear busier and more swamped with work than I actually am. *covers face* *runs away* *shaking my head at me*
Confessions anyone?

Comments

  1. U knw when I read ur blog and articles on love and relationships, u make it sound so easy. Like how hard cld it be,yh? But when I read SDK's chronicles, omo...It's like people are totally fighting a different battle all under the same love!
    I'd rather be filled with hope than despair...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes please be filled with hope instead.

      Delete
  2. :) @ your pretense. I loved reading this post. It's true and I can relate with it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Many of these are more applicable in marriage..thing is once the good times outweight the bad...you realise you guys are ok. A good marriage is generally uneventful, almost rouine and borderline boring.

    Sasha those SDK stories have a few things in common- people marrying each other without truly knowing themselves. While you can't know everythig about your partner, you will be able to identify their habits before you say your vows. Me for instance my husband knows I will never get physical no matter how annoyed I am, but If I believe you should know better and don't act accordingly by the time I am done talking, even the person moght beg to face satan instead.

    People show us traits of what they can morph into during the dating stages, folks just refuse to accept it as such.

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. But Thelma why na? This is hand falling. Why pretend to be busy when you are not?

    Peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kon it's indeed hand falling o! And I'm not proud of it, but when the other person's life/career is super busy with phones constantly ringing and emails and alerts pouring in, and then (at the time) my phone barely beeps much less rings, I just *sob* want to make him think that ....... Anything else I write would be embarassing so I will shut up now

      Delete
    2. Hahahahahaaaaa! Thelma oooo!

      Kon Kilode nisiyin?! Ehn? Kini! Lool! Mind yasef o!

      Delete
  5. lol @ Thelma. The hubs actually owned up to feeling just a teenie weenie bit jealous of me going blazing full steam ahead after my dream of being a doctor, and finding so much favour with God and man while at it. Especially at a time when nothing he's touching seems to be turning to gold. But then again, I know all about a few white lies, especially when it comes to protecting a fragile ego. I also identify with a person's best trait becoming their greatest weakness. Same way the very caring nature which I love him for also makes him attractive to other babes out there. And served as inroad for the devil. Diaris God o...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Taking notes.... I've still got a lot to learn.

    Someone asked me a question some years ago... How will you know when you genuinely love someone. It was a hard question to answer but something occurred to me. I said when I'm genuinely happy for the person, not because I have anything to gain from the achievement but seeing them fulfilled and happy gives me so much joy. And I'm grateful to God for the person's achievements with no trace of envy or jealousy.
    It's the same way I feel when my siblings achieve something great, I feel sooooo much joy that I can't even describe even when things are going horribly for me during that period.

    ReplyDelete

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