Skip to main content

Dear Thelma... (I've Given Him Something. Now How Do I Tell Him?)

Pls no judgment I already know what I did was bad and I feel bad about it. My question is that I need ideas of how I can do the right thing. When my boyfriend was travelled for a course I met up with my former class mate who I had a casual relationship long ago in school. One thing led to another and I slept in his house. Maybe because we have already been intimate before I didn't insist on a condom, when I left I stopped answering his phone calls because I felt very bad and my boyfriend has never done anything so wrong as to make me cheat. I decided to forget about it and move on. But some weeks after I started having plenty discharges and pain in my lower belly and I suspected so I went to a lab and did tests. I must have contracted an std from that guy and I have PID too. My problem now is that because we did tests when we started dating, my boyfriend n I don't use condoms which means that he may have contacted it by now. Please how do I tell him to get tested without exposing what happened? Thank you bvs for your advise.


  1. Hia...this question eh....Lol..just tell him anyways...

    1. Chai, jamb question. Wait and sees if he contacts anything, if he does and he doesn't tell you or blame you for it then you know he's sleeping with other people too and you're both off the hook.

      Now, if that's the case then I dunno where you're relationship is headed.

    2. So How will she know later that he has contracted std?

    3. She'll have to read the little signs, if they are really close she'll tell that something is different. For instance he might start scratching his crotch a lot, he might avoid sleeping with her until he's treated himself etc

  2. It the STD you contacted is the type that can easily be contacted from sharing toilets or even seats with a carrier like Gonorrhea, then you can tell him you think you've contacted something that he should follow you to the hospital for a test. After the test you can always lie on sharing a toilet. And if it is those with similar symptoms with toilet disease, then tell him it is toilet infection and both of you will get treated. Or better still buy drugs for both of you and make it your duty to feed him till the completion of the dosage by puting the drugs in his food (swallow)...

    Hope I make sense sha...

    1. I'm sure you are assuming they are husband and wife. And they live together.

    2. STD means sexually transmitted disease. It only goes from one sex organ to another during sex. U cannot get it from a TOILET no matter how dirty. Not even pit laterine. Just wanted to correct that impression.
      Dr. N

    3. thank you dr N, toilet disease is just a name, STD is contracted through sex alone but haven said that, making use of dirty lavatories could also expose you to some pathogens hence infection albeit rarely.

  3. Hmm, I know u said no judgements and all, but how do u expect one to read this without judging you, Its females like you that made me the way I am today.Cold...

    Well, I will still give u my 2 cents, if you like him and want him to marry u or if u see the relationship getting there, don't tell em. coz am a dude, and i will tell you for free, he will never marry you if he knows what went down. If he goes ahead to marry you after this knowing fully well you cheated, then maybe he wants something else or is going into the marriage with ulterior motives.

    If you go ahead and tell him, assuming he is not a he-goat himself and is the faithful type of man, then u will simply shatter him and bring out the beast in him, this ain't abt maturity or anything. Its just Men. Once u hurt a good man. A lot of women pay dearly for it, not just u.

    1. Spot on... I wanted to start writing what I feel about this post and I saw yours.

      Nothing else to say #seconded

    2. Uyi, vwoye? Should I comment so that you can reply my comment?

  4. I am sorry; but I just had to laugh out really loud. My dear, go and treat yourself oh. If you cant tell your bf face to face, open a new email account, send him an email (tactfully suggesting he goes for a check up and subsequent treatment as a concerned citizen) and then close the email account. Just pray he is not an IT guru or knows anyone so they do not trace the source/back end of the email account. Just to be fully covered, open the email account in some very busy business centre somewhere in computer village.

    Meanwhile, Thelma; abeg make we talk this matter of chics and guys "having a drink or 2'' with their exs. Why don't they just move along and forget the ones in their past. Must they be friends and/or keep in touch. PLS, STOP LOOKING BACK SO YOU DO NOT TURN INTO A PILLAR IF SALT!! Biko.....

    1. Looool... My sis keeps telling me this. She doesnt understand how I'm cool with them exes. I dont know about the guys in relationships but for single folks like moi, sometimes you just get lonely and have a temporary lapse in

    2. Lonely ke? Ahhh, you shouldn't feel lonely with good friends like Thelma naa. I would suggest that you learn how to keep yourself company and enjoy your company by yourself. When I see I am almost feeling lonely, I step out, go and see a movie or window shop. What is in the past should always be in the past. There is just so much drama in this world, why create more complications? The poster has created a complication which could have easily been avoided if she just STOPPED being friends or even opening a pin hole of communications. Abeg Ms Sunshine, if you're feeling lonely, you can contact me; make I show you how hunting for freshly boiled corn can be fun. heheheheheeeee.

    3. Anonymous thank you very much for this suggestion, I have a very big problem with it. There's a reason they were exed in the first place, there's nothing innocent about hanging out with exes, na from clap dem dey enter dance.

    4. Thank you ooooo! Steele and Anon! i was just rolling my eyes at her yesterday! she wie now be telling me "you don't understand how it feels" smh.... yanga dey sleep something...

    5. Lol... thanks guys. After talking for like an hour with the supposed ex yesterday, I remembered why he is an ex cos I was just so irritated like half way thru. I kept asking myself, how did I evwn get her sef.

      @Anon, I'd like to take you up on that offer but you're anonymous :(

    6. Heheheheeeee. Yeah, I know. I am always sooooo shy to show myself in such a massive blog like Thelma Thinks. Surely we shall meet in one of Thelma's get together. No fears, I am female and I am an avid hunter of fresh corn and cheese cakes.

  5. The possibility of him leaving you after you tell him is high, he's your boyfriend n I assume you love him,tell him,I mean its STD,the earlier he know the earlier he treats it before it ,think of his health n tell him
    You may or may not lose him

  6. Dear Poster,
    You should tell him straight on the same way you contacted the std straight on but get ready to lose him. Because if the shoe were to be on the other foot, you'd like to know.

  7. Insist on a condom if your decision is to be sexually active before marriage. If you can cheat and bring back PID your boyfriend may also cheat and bring back HIV. I'm been real with you. This should be an eye opener to you girl. As per what to do........I dunno o. J

  8. Is there a way you can feed him the medication without him knowing? In my opininion, except he's wayward too, I doubt there's an easy way around this.

    Wish you the best of luck.



Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…


Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa

Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.