Skip to main content

Is Intimacy Without Sex Possible?





"Where can we find these young single men who are interested in dating and having a meaningful relationship without bringing sex into the equation? I’d really like to know because there are also sisters out there who want to date without sex and it seems like we and these men are on different ends of the globe. Anybody?"


LOL. This comment came under a post which had intimacy in a sexless relationship as one of the themes. I'm certain that this is a challenge that many young people face, having been there myself. Dating without sex. Veeeeeeeeeeery few people are open to it. And what happens when you find the few who are open, how do you guys stay intimate?

I often prefer for us to learn from each other's comments that's why I say less and ask more. I watched one of the Real Talk with Cornelia O'dwyer videos and the question was asked if its possible to have a relationship/intimacy without sex. I was surprised to hear all her guests agree that it's not. I wanted to ask about those that became sexually active only after they wed, does that make the relationship they had before invalid or unreal?

So yes, of course you can have a beautiful, real and fulfilling relationship without sex. And I believe that two people can be intimate without sex. 

Do you agree with me? If you do then share with me how you think that two people in a relationship can be intimate without having sex. Or how you and your partner are/were able to be intimate with each other without sex. 

If you disagree I'd really like to read your list of reasons why intimacy without sex is simply impossible. 

I'm all ears!

Oh and remember that young lady asked a question. Where can a sister find a single young man who's willing to date without sex these days? Ideas anyone? They do exist, right?


Comments

  1. Actually they do exist, you have one of them right here.

    The real challenge is meeting someone that's on the same page with you, even some girls don't want to be in a sexless relationship. I know cos I've met a few. One of them told me that if we don't start having sex soon we'll become like very close friends then like brother and sister. And that without sex the intimacy we are supposed to share as lovers will die.
    So I've never met a girl who agreed to a sexless relationship, even when we start out agreeing that we won't have sex till much later, we get into bed then one thing leads to another and the next thing I hear after I say we have to stop is "so you were serious about that no sex thing, me I don't think I can do it, what are we now doing with each other?" "Or I can't believe there's a man alive that will see a naked and willing woman in his bed and say he's not doing. Are you sure you're alright?" It is hard but not impossible to achieve that feat, you guys might be able to abstain for the first few months but if both of you aren't willing to put in the work then it will flop. One person will always be weak at some point, when that happens the other has to take responsibility for both of them. It takes real maturity and discipline.

    I think you guys can use PDA, kissing and other acts to stay intimate but that's where another real challenge is. These acts cause arousal and it's very hard to control the urges of the flesh when you find yourselves alone in the house.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes it is. I still know a few out there...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anything is possible really. Greetings!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Please where are those men located cos i am seriously searching for them. Infact that has been my prayerpoint, if God can give me one i will honor him for the rest of my life. I don't mean all those '' church bro bro'' using church to cover face to deceive young girls.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You don't want 'church bro bro' but you want a sexless relationship, I'm getting you. Most men that stay in a sexless relationships do so as a result of religion, other than that I can't really find what will make a man stay celibate in a relationship

      Delete
    2. Note she said those 'church bro bro" using church to cover face and deceive young girls. Those can't really be considered church bro bros then, if they are in it just to catch unsuspecting females. Its hard to find a real church bro these days who has real fear of God in his heart that constrains him from doing certain things, even if the temptation is rife. Same with a real church sis. Fear of God sadly has taken a back seat.

      Delete
  5. Oh Yes it very possible. I had one for years. We were just too close that we forget we were opposite sex. I know almost every member of his family while he also knows mine. We don't hide things from each other. We met in the camp as youth corp members. Is he handsome Oh. Yes, What of me, standing 6ft slim and fair. Never kissed more or less having sex.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You guys are obviously very close but you don't sound intimate. Except I don't know what intimate means.

      Delete
  6. My first relationship went on for three years without sex. Just a few kisses. Nothing more. So yes, it's possible. It was indeed a beautiful relationship, just that he was the only son and his mama no gree..

    ReplyDelete
  7. One of the most intimate relationships I ever had did not include sex.
    There was kissing but no sex and this went on for a year.
    He was a church leader so to speak ( now a pastor) so we strove to keep premarital sex out of it.
    It was an intense relationship, to be honest, I wanted him so badly- but envisioned the consummation that would take place after we got married ( cos he went there but that's another story).
    I think it also gave me the opportunity to "see" him clearly and not through rose coloured lenses.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi guys..... So the picnic is by 3 right?

    ReplyDelete
  9. You know, when I watched that video, I was worried and appalled to say the least.
    I looked at all of them, and for the first time, the reality of the world I live in hit me. And I was like, how don't these people know that sex actually does more harm than good before marriage. I've come to understand that sometimes, God's laws seem so strict and it feels like it takes away all the fun from life.. but I realized that it actually does serve to protect us. But of course, we've devised means to step out of this protection, hence the several stories that touch that we hear everyday.
    I totally get the "we are different" and "we were brought up differently" and "we have different values" and all of that... but really though, when this one doesn't work out, that one crumbled using same approach, why not try it differently. Lots of women have been able to separate the men that just want sex from the men that actuaLly want something real by deciding to be celibate. That's not to say you won't find a man or even a good one if you're sexually active before marriage... (in popsy's voice) chances are, you might not or it'll be really hard. I digress!

    Yeah, there are men out there that are waiting till they say I DO, before doing the do(i really wanted to say that... lol) but like Steele said, some of them are asking if there are still women that don't want sex before marriage or won't see you as impotent or sick if you don't make a move on them in a relationship. So u see... they do exist. just like we pray to meet the helper of our destiny... or that one person whose influence would turn your life around for good, you can actually pray to meet guys like that. They do exist. and yes, not those Yeye fake church brothers that use spirituality to cover their horrible character... or the ones that pretend to be celibate and then try to have sex with you whilst quoting a scripture from the bible that makes it okay! Yes you read right. Some do! You'll be amazed how people read the bible upside down these days.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please how many are coming for the picnic? I'd really love to meet you guys in person. I have to say thanks to all of you. I have some coded mentors here.

      Delete
    2. Steele it's good you said coded. Don't hope beyond that, she's taken.

      Delete
    3. Kabouy,your answers are always intelligent and make me think from another angle.definitely wise beyond your years.keep it up girlie ��

      Delete
    4. Lmao, Memphis who are you referring to?

      Delete
    5. Lmaoo @ ekun! Hahahahaaa! Nubian princess! :*

      Steele... i'm sure you already found out that I didn't go. loool. I'm very shy like that.

      When your crush says you're taken! *oya shakitibobo bobo* lmao!

      Thanks Anon! *kisses and hugs* you made me blush! Looool!

      Delete
    6. Alaye... you've got somfn to say to me?! *cocks gun* Okay! Let's hear it! Lol!

      Uyi where are awa pishures nah! Why are you taking your sweet time.... pls send them in and let thelma do our most anticipated post! lool! TTB picnic!
      I want to see Tiwa, my crush, Steele, Enjay, chocolate, clare and all that went. I know what you look like... soo if you like don't send in yours. Did miss pynk go? I want to see miss pynk too. Sunshine keeps saying she's "very yellow" lol!

      Delete
    7. Sorry to disappoint you. I couldn't make it. Lol @ very yellow Miss Pynk.

      Delete
    8. Kabuoy! Until you sha typed dis tin. You go meet me for house today! Yeye someborri.

      @Uyi, biko send the pictures in so we can see o. Hope my crush-in-law came sha? Na only him i wan see *winks*

      Delete
  10. It's very very possible, so far as the guy agrees wholeheartedly to it... Cos I know a girl can hardly rape a guy,..... I dated my ex for over 2 years without sex,.. She was even the one begging for it at some point...., but we had already made an agreement

    ReplyDelete
  11. I've heard it's possible but I'm yet to experience it. Staying celibate has caused me so many would be relationships. Before it used to hurt but now, I just shrug it off and keep it moving.

    My girlfriend says am single cause of it but I refuse to budge.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please keep it moving queen spicey.

      I pray that God's will for you in marriage would be done and you won't regret waiting! *hugs*

      Delete
    2. Please keep it moving queen spicey.

      I pray that God's will for you in marriage would be done and you won't regret waiting! *hugs*

      Delete
  12. The short answer is No, it is not possible to be intimate without sex.
    I think many people here are mistaking being very close to someone, or even dating someone for being intimate with them. But they can be mutually exclusive.
    I don't think true intimacy is possible without leading to sex (immediate sex or sex in the not too distant future). Intimacy is the precursor for sex, and it makes me wonder at accounts of people being intimate for years without sex. Mba nu!!! I can understand dating someone for years without sex, but that usually works when the bobo and the sisi have agreed to keep their hands and bodies away from each other. I find it difficult to accept that two grown adults with blood running through their veins can be intimate for a protracted time period without having sex, or planning to have sex after a milestone in the not too distant future, which is usually marriage. That would just be all kinds of unwarranted blue balls and sexual frustration.
    This is one reason why dating for a christian staying away from pre-marital sex is different from dating for pro-premarital sex-ers. Those who are pro-premarital sex can date very easily, catch feelings, get intimate, have sex... and carry on with their lives... and this is the natural course of a romantic relationship. But for the christian, they date, catch feelings, possibly get intimate... and then the next step is sex, which they are trying to avoid. So how then do they have romantic relationships like the rest? Well, they don't. In their case, any intimacy would be with the view that they would (hopefully), be tying the knot soon with this person, and then they can progress to the next natural step, which is sex.
    So yes, just as water follows salt, so does sex follow intimacy. You cannot separate the two.
    I've said so many things here. Hope I somehow made sense :-)

    ReplyDelete
  13. I must say Thank you for the efforts You've Put in writing this blog. While searching for a related subject, your website got here up, it looks really good. I've bookmarked it. Lots of people will probably be benefited from your writing.
    Cheers!
    Indian Call Girls in Dubai

    ReplyDelete
  14. My today boring is remove after reading your article, I have to appreciate your hard work on this and specially in this article, In the event that you might want to make a romantic date with our Escorts in Dubai in this way, don't hesitate to contact us.
    Indian Escorts in Dubai
    Call Girls in Dubai

    ReplyDelete
  15. https://lasescortsdemonterrey.blogspot.com/2015/12/diciembre-2015-resenas.html?showComment=1470737687311#c3041480416400347163

    ReplyDelete
  16. i love indian models in dubai. that provides best envirement for

    entertainment. you can b contact us +971561616995 adn visit

    this site
    https://www.dubaiescort1.com/modelescorts.html

    ReplyDelete
  17. i love indian models in dubai. that provides best envirement for

    entertainment. you can b contact us +971561616995 adn visit

    this site
    Entainment in dubai

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

***
This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
My…

...

Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…

Shhhhhhh....

I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 


Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.


Uyi & Tiwa

Giveaway Finale!

Happy Sunday y'all. 
This is the conclusive part of #WCG. 
All the N25,000 recipients have received their cash.
All the students have also received their N10,000. 
Once again guys please comment under any of the posts, or this one that you've received your money. Thanks. 

So moving forward, this final giveaway contains 
1. N10,000 for 5 people. 

2. 3 kimonos from Julian's dressmakers. 
3. 3 pairs of Palm slippers from WaleOnibata. (Gents) 
4. 2 pairs of shoes from Courtney's Closet. (Ladies. Size 9 and Size 11). 

5. 1 human hair wig from Gabby's Wigs'n'Weaves. You pick from one of the wigs below. 
6. 3 cakes from CakesandCream 

7. A getaway at CitiHeight Hotel Ikeja for 3 people. (Who can each bring one person along).  


As I said earlier, Kon has already won a stay at CitiHeight and Clare, a kimono. So those gifts are now available for 2 people each. 
There is no competition. We are only going to play a game. 
I have each gift item listed out in numbers. Number 1 to 100. …