"That's a rare gift", he sounded awed by my description of my friend Oby.
Oby, the one who made someone stop to give us a ride because he noticed that we had been standing under the sun for a while and we were both tired and irritable, but for some reason, while the tall dark one, like almost every normal person, had an ugly scowl on her face, the fair chubby one had a serene smile. That smile drew him in, made him get into his car and give us a lift, all the way from Presidential Hotel in GRA Port Harcourt, to Rumuobiakani. He never could stop talking about Oby's smile in the face of difficulty.
And that's Oby for you. To be honest there were times I thought Oby was a bit delusional, or perhaps slightly retarded (forgive me if I'm being politically incorrect). I mean, what other reason could there be? Oby kept facing one issue or the other that kept her in university for 12 years, for a 5 year course, (I spent 6 years and in the 6th I was a walking time bomb; I could burst into tears at any moment, any where, and I often did). In all those years, even when her mates had not only gone on to law school, served, got jobs, got promotions, bought cars, got married, had babies, moved abroad, Oby never for ONE moment showed a sign of unhappiness, bitterness or envy. The babe can smile for Africa sha! So I wondered, how is this girl going through all this and still be happy, are we sure she's ok? Maybe she isn't and that's why she doesn't understand the full magnitude of her woes. I was wrong, she did. She just chose not to let her reality affect her disposition.
Oby's constant cheeriness drew people to her, she's the kind of person that everyone wants to be around. Of course when you attract people that way you're bound to get favours, cash, gifts, help from unexpected quarters and a certain level of security.
Not many of us are blessed like Oby. For most of us when we're facing challenges, you won't even have to ask, the looks on our faces and the tones of our voices tell it all. For most of us, we're just being real; keeping it real. And as far as we're concerned that's only normal. But do you know that "keeping it real" could also mean "keeping it broke"?
Yup! Yesterday Pastor Paul Adefarasin talked about how your personality, particularly your disposition could affect your career, especially if it's dependant on you relating with customers.
I can't begin to count how many transactions I've walked out on because the other person was cold or unenthusiastic. I can't count how many people I've tipped largely or made a purchase I didn't really want to, just because they talked to me pleasantly or had a comely persona.
So think about it, we've all got difficulty and challenges. But the truly special people have the ability to soldier on with a perfectly sunny disposition. As the pastor said yesterday, you may be going through hell but don't let the hell go through you.
Don't walk around with your shoulders droopy and your voice monotonal, you just might be pushing people away from you. Just by "keeping it real" and thinking it's ok to frown or be unpleasant because life isn't being pleasant, you might be chasing people away, losing opportunities, losing favour, losing potential spouses or relationships, losing businesses, losing new friends, and other things you might never imagine.
Remember. Your clothes may be Chanel/Gucci, your shoes Crocodile. But you're never fully dressed without a smile. *In Sia's voice*.
Stay happy, give good vibes. Bad vibes attract more bad fortune... Easier said than done, I know, but doable nonetheless.
Have a great week guys.
Just one question that I'm hoping you will answer very sincerely; do you consider yourself a nice person?